Why do humans hide behind masks and fake emotions?

[Bravenewworld]

In your opinion, why are we humans so fake in all aspects of our being? We hide behind flimsy masks easily broken upon the slightest inspection. I hate people for being that way. I am in High School and every single day I hear those fake laughs ringing through the halls. I see people smiling when truly they simply feel hate inside. The word "love" is almost like a prostitute something passed around freely then gives you Herpes. All emotion for any other individual is completely devoid from the human mind. We laugh at others problems in our minds and cry along side them with our eyes.

 

[Evo]

Luckily you will find that the way kids act in high school improves as they mature, for the most part. And not all kids in High School act that way. Perhaps you can find groups that have similar interests that are more like you.

 

[berkeman]

In your opinion, why are we humans so fake in all aspects of our being? We hide behind flimsy masks easily broken upon the slightest inspection. I hate people for being that way. I am in High School and every single day I hear those fake laughs ringing through the halls. I see people smiling when truly they simply feel hate inside. The word "love" is almost like a prostitute something passed around freely then gives you Herpes. All emotion for any other individual is completely devoid from the human mind. We laugh at others problems in our minds and cry along side them with our eyes.

I agree with Evo. Find some groups that are less like that, and I think you'll be more comfortable and happier. Many sports teams and coaches emphasize honesty and integrity. Many/most martial arts groups do the same. You can check out your local Explorers groups (Fire and Police) to find some other pretty good kids.

You can also try to set a good example yourself. Remember, "It's okay to stand up and be a leader, as long as you work to be a *good* leader". Run for student council or other office, and work to improve your school in some ways.

 

[confinement]

Do your part and refuse to partake in the charade.

 

[Ben Niehoff]

You are going through the same phase they are. Don't think you are so different.

I wish I had figured out in high school that I wasn't actually any better than anybody else, in any moral or philosophical sense. It's much healthier to be a part of humanity and believe in the basic good of most people, than to go around feeling aloof and holier-than-they.

The kids in high school are not "being fake". They are learning how to socialize; i.e., how to participate and be comfortable in society as functional individuals. They are finding who they are and where they fit in. Just as with any other species, there must be an awkward stage of trial and error. This is also your awkward stage. :)

Gandhi said something like, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Or was it Oscar Wilde?

 

[Astronuc]

In your opinion, why are we humans so fake in all aspects of our being? We hide behind flimsy masks easily broken upon the slightest inspection.

Most people I encounter seem genuine. Maybe it's the high school one is attending, but even in high school, my classmates were pretty straightforward among each other. Most of my peers took school work and other matters pretty seriously.

 

[russ_watters]

You are going through the same phase they are. Don't think you are so different.

My favorite are the "nonconformists". There was a Simpsons' episode where Bart gets an earring - and then everyone else does too - and Lisa says "How nonconformist...in a conformist sort of way." When I was in high school, the grunge types actually got mad when alternative rock when mainstream. Like it somehow lost it's allure now that everyone else liked it.

Just be who you are - whether everyone else or no one else does things the same way you do should be irrelevant to you.

 

[arunma]

Luckily you will find that the way kids act in high school improves as they mature, for the most part. And not all kids in High School act that way. Perhaps you can find groups that have similar interests that are more like you.

Hmm...I certainly want that to be true. I'm in grad school and people are still fake. Obviously they don't throw spitwads at each other or do other such things. But most of my fellow grad students seem to find new ways to be artificial (usually involving getting trashed on weekends). I'm told it's about the same in the working world.

Supposedly these are America's best and brightest. My hopes for the human race aren't that high...

 

[moose]

Hmm...I certainly want that to be true. I'm in grad school and people are still fake. Obviously they don't throw spitwads at each other or do other such things. But most of my fellow grad students seem to find new ways to be artificial (usually involving getting trashed on weekends). I'm told it's about the same in the working world.

Supposedly these are America's best and brightest. My hopes for the human race aren't that high...

Why do you feel that you are better than those who get drunk on weekends?

You people take everything way too seriously.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Hmm...I certainly want that to be true. I'm in grad school and people are still fake. Obviously they don't throw spitwads at each other or do other such things.

What does throwing spitwads have to do with being "fake"? Immature? Yes. But quite possibly the opposite of "fake" if you genuinely want to shoot a spitwad at someone's head and do so.

But most of my fellow grad students seem to find new ways to be artificial (usually involving getting trashed on weekends). I'm told it's about the same in the working world.

Well, again, not necessarily "fake" unless a person is opposed to drinking and just does it to fit in with the crowd.

To accuse someone of being fake, we have to catch them in inconsistencies in things that they do or things that they say (or both). I'm not convinced by the OP's assertion that the laughter he/she hears in the hallways is "fake" and that people are smiling when they "feel hate inside". Maybe it's genuine laughter and smiling. Who knows?

I also don't agree with the OP's idea that humans are so fake "in all aspects of our being". That seems more than a little over the top and possibly motivated by having an exceptionally crappy day.

 

[MissSilvy]

You know, when I was in high school, I always used to wonder why older people scoffed that most high schoolers were wannabe philosophers who have the answers to everything.

Now I know :) That's a relief.

(Humans are fake and always will be, the wheat is eventually separated from the chaff and in the meantime stop moping and lamenting how 'deep' you are and concentrate on taking APs and applying to colleges)

Math is Hard: It seems motivated by typical high school know-how. It's a fairly traumatic point in many a student's life and they make sweeping generalizations about people that they judge stupidly and stereotypically. Less a crappy day and more like a crappy mindset.

 

[vanesch]

I suppose it is due to learning to cope with social relations that induce us to "be fake". A baby doesn't fake. When it grows up, it realizes that the way it communicates (verbally, or through body language) has a genuine effect on how its surroundings react, and some reactions are more pleasant than others to undergo. You start to find out what kinds of "messages" you have to send out to get a "desired return", and what kind of "messages" will most probably result in an "undesired return" (like getting somebody's fist on your face or so).

So in a given situation, you start to know what kinds of messages you should be sending out in order to get your environment to act the most pleasantly towards you, and then you have some genuine feelings and ideas, which may not be in agreement with those messages.

Life is dancing on the thin line between both. In some cases, it is better to send out the "socially correct" messages to get out most pleasure out of your environment. For others, when the ideas you carry about it, or the value you attach to it, is very important, you might decide to "overrule" this, and express what you are really thinking, even though that may result in a less pleasant return of your environment. It is a continuous choice you have to make, all your life long. Going entirely for the first or for the second option all the time is not livable.

 

[misgfool]

Life is dancing on the thin line between both. In some cases, it is better to send out the "socially correct" messages to get out most pleasure out of your environment. For others, when the ideas you carry about it, or the value you attach to it, is very important, you might decide to "overrule" this, and express what you are really thinking, even though that may result in a less pleasant return of your environment. It is a continuous choice you have to make, all your life long. Going entirely for the first or for the second option all the time is not livable.

It is only harder to live by choosing one option. But if you can find even a small group which has made the same choice, it is possible to thrive.

 

[vanesch]

It is only harder to live by choosing one option. But if you can find even a small group which has made the same choice, it is possible to thrive.

Honestly, I don't think so. Well, the thing that is probably realizable is to live up to being "socially correct" all the time. If you can put away all of your ideas and desires, and live like a servant of your environment, then you can do that. People had to live almost like that in certain dictatorships: always smile, say thank you, be serviable,... even if they kick you in the butt. But that's no life.

What is totally impossible is to not even a bit "adapt socially". It would mean that you tell the people on the street that you find them ugly, it would mean that you kick a kid when it annoys you, that you are impolite to your employers or customers, ...

 

[misgfool]

What is totally impossible is to not even a bit "adapt socially". It would mean that you tell the people on the street that you find them ugly, it would mean that you kick a kid when it annoys you, that you are impolite to your employers or customers, ...

That's your opinion and I respect that, but it's not as impossible as you think. Or maybe it's just that I don't understand how you define social adaptation.

I don't typically tell people on the street what is their ranking in physical appearance, but if someone would ask me how they looked, I would not conceal or mask my comparison results. I wouldn't use the word ugly, unless maybe if there were very deep feelings involved, but I would see lying counterproductive. Naturally I'm quite sincere to my customers as well. It must seem ironic to you that they respect me because of that.

 

[The Dagda]

Just be glad you realized how fake kids are and don't have to struggle to be part of the herd like they often do. Kids are in almost all cases pretty stupid, but it's like a right of passage, with any luck you come through the other side with some maturity at least.

The issue with being diplomatic though is something you should learn. Most people can't get away with being too honest. There's such a thing as gilding the lilly though. You can be honest without hurting someone, probably best to learn to do that, or just to wait until an opportune moment if you really have to.

 

[waht]

As people break from adolescence and enter adulthood more possibilities will arise.

There are going to be very smart adults, while some will be extremely dumb, others will become criminals, others will be very self fish, some will be leaders, other will be leaders with no other intention but to dominate someone else. Some will do volunteer work for 20 years.

Also, some people will have a host of different neurological disorders, such as depression, or bipolar that will shape the characters of these people. Other will have physical health related issues.

Even more metamorphosis will come from the influence of other people. Did you grow up in a strictly religious house hold? did all of your buddies went out drinking? Did your friends wear scarfs wrapped around their heads or is having spiked hair still acceptable? What ever it is, people will have to bend over to the rules of social norms in order to fit in, and where you want to fit in.

And yes, some adults are still like little high school kids.

 

[runner]

When people are placed in competitive situations - whether it be high school, undergrad, grad, the workplace, etc. - their insecurities will surface. It doesn't happen with everyone, but it happens with many. Some display it in strange ways as they try to mask it, while with others it is easier to recognize for what it is. There are many pressures, social and work-related, to try to conform to different standards imposed upon by various groups, teachers, parents, peers, co-workers, supervisors, individuals, etc., and people react differently based on their character, background and their very nature. With time, some level of self-assurance (more or less) or awareness of one's self and capabilities usually sets in and some insecurities subside.

 

[gravenewworld]

so you must be my evil pf twin?

 

[Topher925]

Can anyone here honestly say they act exactly the same no matter who is around them? We all act differently, tell lies, and display false emotions in order convey a perspective or impression that we want others to see. Thinking that this is some inane act that only immature people do is just naive. The only difference between the people that you call "fake" and the people you call "real", is that the "real" people are just good at it.

 

[lisab]

Can anyone here honestly say they act exactly the same no matter who is around them? We all act differently, tell lies, and display false emotions in order convey a perspective or impression that we want others to see. Thinking that this is some inane act that only immature people do is just naive. The only difference between the people that you call "fake" and the people you call "real", is that the "real" people are just good at it.

I agree. We weren't born courteous, it's a learned skill. Part of being human is overcoming ignoble impulses. We can't all act like two-year-olds.

 

[Mk]

You are going through the same phase they are. Don't think you are so different.

Don't think you know about this guy just because you found out you were wrong about something in high school.

This thread is fun.

 

[vanesch]

Can anyone here honestly say they act exactly the same no matter who is around them? We all act differently, tell lies, and display false emotions in order convey a perspective or impression that we want others to see. Thinking that this is some inane act that only immature people do is just naive. The only difference between the people that you call "fake" and the people you call "real", is that the "real" people are just good at it.

Amen !

 

[misgfool]

Can anyone here honestly say they act exactly the same no matter who is around them?

I act differently depending on who is with me, I would be showing false emotions if I wouldn't.

We all act differently, tell lies, and display false emotions in order convey a perspective or impression that we want others to see. Thinking that this is some inane act that only immature people do is just naive. The only difference between the people that you call "fake" and the people you call "real", is that the "real" people are just good at it.

I kind of feel like Don Quixote with a few adaptations of course. Anyway it's mostly about how you are raised. On a small take, it would seem that you have been taught to lie. Have you ever stopped to consider, is there really a need for it or are you just trying to find an excuse for your immoral behavior?

 

[misgfool]

I agree. We weren't born courteous, it's a learned skill. Part of being human is overcoming ignoble impulses. We can't all act like two-year-olds.

Controlling your impulses and being truthful are not mutually exclusive. I'm sure that, if you could take a step away from your ivory tower, you might be surprised what you see.

 

[Lisa!]

Well, some people are real most of the time. They show real emotions and say what they think. But honestly people don't like these real people that much! It seems to me that most of people prefer us to be fake, and can hardly get along with those who're frank.

 

[vanesch]

Well, some people are real most of the time. They show real emotions and say what they think. But honestly people don't like these real people that much! It seems to me that most of people prefer us to be fake, and can hardly get along with those who're frank.

Yes, because being too frank is simply being rude.

Now, the point is that everybody has to pick his point of balance between being nice and being frank.

 

[misgfool]

Well, some people are real most of the time. They show real emotions and say what they think. But honestly people don't like these real people that much! It seems to me that most of people prefer us to be fake, and can hardly get along with those who're frank.

I believe that you tell us your real thoughts and although the road is long and rocky, I hope that you have just taken the first steps towards truthfulness

 

[misgfool]

Yes, because being too frank is simply being rude.

Now, the point is that everybody has to pick his point of balance between being nice and being frank.

I think you are mixing concepts here. To my understanding the OP was worried of people not telling their real feelings. You can express yourself in a very polite manner even if the actual content clearly wouldn't be pleasant to the recipient.

 

[The Dagda]

Well of course adults act differently around each other, it's just once you reach a certain age most people stop trying so hard to impress others and are more comfortable with themselves, to the extent they don't feel such a need to fit in or impress people. That said of course everyone has a need to fit into some extent, we are by nature gregarious, but then no one was saying kids are a different species than adults anyway.