Why do humans hide behind masks and fake emotions?

[Mk]

To my understanding the OP was worried of people not telling their real feelings. You can express yourself in a very polite manner even if the actual content clearly wouldn't be pleasant to the recipient.

Polite? Polite is the fine at of figuring out how to pre-chew food for your guests to make them feel more comfortable.

Or it can also be opening doors for people, but that is courtesy.

 

[vanesch]

Well of course adults act differently around each other, it's just once you reach a certain age most people stop trying so hard to impress others and are more comfortable with themselves, to the extent they don't feel such a need to fit in or impress people.

I was more thinking along the lines that if your boss comes in and tells you with a big smile that he just bought a wonderful new car, and shows it to you and asks you how you like it, that even though you might not give a s**t about it, or even find it totally misplaced, that this item doesn't deserve any troubles or anything, and that you fake finding it indeed a nice car simply because you don't think that saying anything else merits 10 seconds of your time.

 

[The Dagda]

I was more thinking along the lines that if your boss comes in and tells you with a big smile that he just bought a wonderful new car, and shows it to you and asks you how you like it, that even though you might not give a s**t about it, or even find it totally misplaced, that this item doesn't deserve any troubles or anything, and that you fake finding it indeed a nice car simply because you don't think that saying anything else merits 10 seconds of your time.

That's just diplomacy, like when your boss tells you they want something done in a particular way and you know it'll just take twice as long but they are adamant so you say yeah ok, and then just do it your own way.

 

[runner]

I think that with a boss or anyone that exerts any kind of control or influence, deep down our responses to even seemingly trivial things are made with our self interest at hand. It is a rare person that would tell them, for example, not to bother them with such triviality or that they don't have time to make small talk right now, etc. Instead we opt to say something fairly innocuous or maybe even make a slight joke about it, but the response is not injurious to either party.

 

[arunma]

Why do you feel that you are better than those who get drunk on weekends?

Depends on what you mean by "better." What parameter space are you referring to? I'd certainly say that I'm disappointed. It's hard not to be when you see someone who gave a talk on galactic synchrotron emission on Friday afternoon laying in a pool of his own vomit on Saturday evening. Most of us Americans grew up looking up to scientists as sorts of role models. This sort of behavior has effectively destroyed that stereotype in my mind.

You people take everything way too seriously.

I'm curious as to which people you're referring to. People who don't consider clutching a toilet while on their hands and knees to be a good time? I wouldn't consider myself a terribly serious person. I don't think that I take myself too seriously. All I'm saying is that I don't understand why people engage in obviously foolish behavior. It seems to me that any reasonable person would agree that alcohol should be used in moderation. I'm all for enjoyment. In fact, the reason I think that excessive drinking is foolish is because it isn't enjoyable.

What does throwing spitwads have to do with being "fake"? Immature? Yes. But quite possibly the opposite of "fake" if you genuinely want to shoot a spitwad at someone's head and do so.

Perhaps you're right that fake is the wrong word. I suppose that annoying would be a better choice of vocabulary. What I'm saying is that the behavior of my fellow grad students makes it very difficult for me to socialize with them. As an undergrad I wasn't into the party scene. I started going to parties in grad school, assuming that by "party," they meant a bunch of people having beer or two and socializing. Instead, I found that even at this age people haven't grown out of beer bongs, excessively loud music (which actually prevents socializing), drinking games, and various other excuses to flirt with alcohol poisoning. Anyway, as a result of this I haven't made all too many good friends in the physics department (which is not to say that I haven't found friends elsewhere). I just wish there were a few people at work whose idea of a good time wasn't getting smashed on Saturday night.