This is a good question. Let's review electronegativity.
There are several ways the value is defined, but the most common ones you see is the Pauling scale. The equation is given as the absolute difference of electronegativity between two atoms A and B:
|\chi_{\rm A} - \chi_{\rm B}| = ({\rm eV})^{-1/2} \sqrt{E_{\rm d}({\rm AB}) - \frac{E_{\rm d}({\rm AA}) + E_{\rm d}({\rm BB})} 2}\chi_{\rm A} and \chi_{\rm B} are the "absolute" electronegativity, E_{\rm d}({\rm AB}), E_{\rm d}({\rm AA}), and E_{\rm d}({\rm BB}) are the bond-dissociation energy of compound AB, AA, and BB. Thus, you can see from this that the electronegativity in the Pauling scale is a relative measure of electronegativity compared to hydrogen atom in a compound with hydrogen (HF, LiH, etc.). The reason why hydrogen was chosen is because they form covalent bonds with most elements. The electronegativity for hydrogen is defined as 2.20. So the values for other elements are relative to that value.
The other scale is the Mulliken Electronegativity. This is given by the following formula:
\chi = \frac{E_{\rm i} + E_{\rm ea}} 2 \where E_{\rm i} and E_{\rm ea} are the ionization energy (energy released when one electron is removed) and electron affinity (energy released when one electron is acquired) of an neutral atom. This value is a lot different from the Pauling electronegativity (it even has the unit of energy!), but it's not a relative measure.So, what does these mean?
It means that electronegativity is the property of an neutral atom in respect to how they are expected to behave once a covalent bond is formed with another atom. So the OP's question stems from the confusion that the electronegativity comes into play before a bond is formed, as opposed to the reality that they come into play after a bond is formed. When an electropositive neutral atom A and an electronegative neutral atom B forms a bond, the electrons are more dense around atom B and sparse around atom A. But this is about neutral atoms as reactants, not about ions or compounds as reactants.
So let's talk about metal ion and ligands.
For example, let's say that you have Cr3+ and three Cl- atom. At this point, the "electronegativity" is irrelevant here because they are already an ion. At this point, Cr3+ is positively charged, and Cl- is negatively charged. Positive and negative attract each other by Coulombic force, thereby forming CrCl3.
Another example, let's say that you have Cu2+ and six H2O molecules. Once again, the "electronegativity" is irrelevant here because one is an ion, and the other is a compound (not neutral atom). Once again, Cu2+ is positively charged, and the H2O molecules is polar and the electron is more dense around the oxygen atom (the lone pair electrons), although the molecule itself is neutral. Positive and negative attract each other by Coulombic force, thereby forming [Cu(H3O)6]2+.
Most people make the similar mistake by understanding it like OP did, and believe that electronegativity is what forms a bond. Electronegativity explains polarity in compounds and the bond affinity (ionic vs covalent), but it's not what causes the bond (it is indirectly related though).