Why do women become so silly when they have a boyfriend yet?

[Clausius2]

In my experience, Clausius2, a lot of times what guys percieve as flirting, girls think is just being nice.

That is the cruelty I was referring to. NICE? I am not nice with every body!. I recognise I have failed some times because of that misunderstood. But the fact is we don't go everywhere being nice. Are you nice with your boss? Are you nice with me? Are you nice with your neighbor? Are you nice with the postman? Are you nice with every classmates? Answer: I am not. That is just because man don't go over there being nice except with our friends (and this doesn't happen always).

Being a woman, a pretty woman, and being so nice with men over there has only one word: cruelty and lack of humanity and humbleness.

Maybe FranzNietzsche is able to understand this words in spanish and translate them, because I am unable:

"Ellas son amables sólo para jodernos la existencia."

 

[brewnog]

Clausius, I AM nice with my boss, with you, with my neighbour, with my postman, and all my classmates!

Perhaps this is why they don't take to it too well. You're horrible to your postman and then nice to a random girl! If I was a girl, I'd be there sticking up for the postman.

 

[russ_watters]

I'm only not nice to people I actively dislike. And even then only if I have a specific reason at the time. My political debating notwithstanding (and except online, I generally only debate people I know - there is less chance of misunderstanding and hostility), I'm pretty nonconfrontational.

 

[Artman]

I am not looking at her cleavage each time I talk with her (I really don't know what "cleavage" means and I don't feel like to take the dictionary, but I can imagine it).

I can imagine it too.

Why don't you show him what cleavage is Evo?

 

[Smurf]

Maybe your opinion as a woman is very valuable for me.

I am not looking at her cleavage each time I talk with her (I really don't know what "cleavage" means and I don't feel like to take the dictionary, but I can imagine it).

There are two opposite behaviors we can show when we come across with one of these women:

1.-You show no sexual interest at all, trying not to mean you're sexually attracted to her. Consequence: she damn you because you are too stupid for not realising she is so pretty. Therefore, not flirting with her is a wrong technique.

2.-You show sexual interest, so that she (who has a boyfriend yet) will play with you because women want to have at least one man flying around her. Their life wouldn't be the same with that stupid man. Once you get bored of the game, they will mean that she needn't any more company and probably they will call you "un pesao" or "un plasta" as it is said here.

It can be concluded that both strategies are condemned to failure.

There is a secret 3rd super strategy you can use, it goes like this:

3.-You show lots of sexual interest, beat up her boyfriend with a baseball bat, hump her leg during classes, slip love letters under her door, walk her to and from work every day, run over that guy that kicked her dog with your dodge carrivan, ect., result: get arrested for manslaughter and assualt, get a restraining order slapped on you and shipped off to an insane asylum... What? You were expecting positive results? These are women man, give it up.

 

[cronxeh]

so THATS why we have so many people in US prisons..

tsk tsk.. it was Canadians!

 

[brewnog]

Why don't you show him what cleavage is Evo?

Hey, if ANYONE round here's showing any cleavage, it's going to be ME!

 

[Moonbear]

In my experience, Clausius2, a lot of times what guys percieve as flirting, girls think is just being nice. At the same time, though, girls are more likely to flirt with guys they aren't interested in (except as friends) than guys are. Its just something you have to get used to.

Being a bit flirty myself, I have to agree. I've been around guys I was not interested at all in a romantic way (though perhaps in a friendly way) and didn't realize I was even being flirtatious, just thought I was having fun joking around. But then when I am intentionally flirting with a guy who I'm interested in, it used to be that if they didn't notice, I'd take it that they weren't interested and just move on; now I realize some guys just don't notice until you outright tell them (and if they really aren't interested and say so, then it's all unambiguous and much easier on everyone).

Then again, sometimes women aren't flirting at all, but a guy who really is attracted to them sees everything they do as flirting because they are looking with blinders on. I ran into this problem with the janitor at work. Apparently not many people talk to him, so he took something as simple as me saying hi and asking how he is to be flirting. And of course his behavior changed based on that and I ended up thinking for a while he was the creepiest guy I ever met.

Anyway, it would all be so easy if people could get over their hang-ups and just tell each other outright when they're interested or not. Though, I still don't understand getting upset worrying about women who already have boyfriends. If they constantly need to be the center of attention and nothing you do with them is right, then they are what we call "high maintenance." More trouble than it's worth.

 

[Curious3141]

I think it would be a lot easier if we all had asses that glowed red. That would be unambiguous.

 

[Moonbear]

That is the cruelty I was referring to. NICE? I am not nice with every body!. I recognise I have failed some times because of that misunderstood. But the fact is we don't go everywhere being nice. Are you nice with your boss? Are you nice with me? Are you nice with your neighbor? Are you nice with the postman? Are you nice with every classmates? Answer: I am not. That is just because man don't go over there being nice except with our friends (and this doesn't happen always).

You think not being nice to anyone but your friends is going to be attractive to women? If I see a guy being a jerk to everyone, hanging around just his cluster of buddies, to me he looks like the obnoxious high school bully, and yeah, I'm going to be on the defensive as soon as he walks up to me.

The guys who attract women, at least the nice women, are the ones who can be friendly with everyone. When it comes to romance, forget that old myth that opposites attract; it's really like attracts like. If someone's a jerk, he's going to attract jerks, and if someone's nice, he's going to find himself surrounded by nice people.

 

[cronxeh]

Wont it be more of a 'if someone's nice, he'll be surrounded by everyone' :)

 

[motai]

You think not being nice to anyone but your friends is going to be attractive to women? If I see a guy being a jerk to everyone, hanging around just his cluster of buddies, to me he looks like the obnoxious high school bully, and yeah, I'm going to be on the defensive as soon as he walks up to me.

Yet all the time at school I see these jerks with girlfriends and I don't understand it... its a downward cycle. They break up with the jerk only to date another one soon therafter until they give up on men and become lesbian (probably exaggerating a little...)

The guys who attract women, at least the nice women, are the ones who can be friendly with everyone. When it comes to romance, forget that old myth that opposites attract; it's really like attracts like. If someone's a jerk, he's going to attract jerks, and if someone's nice, he's going to find himself surrounded by nice people.

I have noticed this (even in my own behavior). I don't get along with those people... even if I had to. Then again, in this general geographical area there aren't very many nice people, most are jerks.

 

[Moonbear]

Yet all the time at school I see these jerks with girlfriends and I don't understand it... its a downward cycle. They break up with the jerk only to date another one soon therafter until they give up on men and become lesbian (probably exaggerating a little...)

They find girlfriends, but those girls/women are the same as they are, obnoxious to everyone but their little circle of friends, completely superficial, and looking for trophies, not relationships.

 

[franznietzsche]

That is the cruelty I was referring to. NICE? I am not nice with every body!. I recognise I have failed some times because of that misunderstood. But the fact is we don't go everywhere being nice. Are you nice with your boss? Are you nice with me? Are you nice with your neighbor? Are you nice with the postman? Are you nice with every classmates? Answer: I am not. That is just because man don't go over there being nice except with our friends (and this doesn't happen always).

Being a woman, a pretty woman, and being so nice with men over there has only one word: cruelty and lack of humanity and humbleness.

Maybe FranzNietzsche is able to understand this words in spanish and translate them, because I am unable:

"Ellas son amables sólo para jodernos la existencia."

Hmm, it can't be translated literally, but something along the lines of 'women are only nice for the sake of screwing with us'. The 'la existencia' at the end is kinda throwing me, i know what it means by itself, I'm just not sure in context.

But then when I am intentionally flirting with a guy who I'm interested in, it used to be that if they didn't notice, I'd take it that they weren't interested and just move on; now I realize some guys just don't notice until you outright tell them (and if they really aren't interested and say so, then it's all unambiguous and much easier on everyone).

You see that is actually your own fault for being generally flirtatious in the first place. ONce the guy gets used to the idea of it not meaning anything, that's just what he's always going to assume.

 

[franznietzsche]

There is a secret 3rd super strategy you can use, it goes like this:

3.-You show lots of sexual interest, beat up her boyfriend with a baseball bat, hump her leg during classes, slip love letters under her door, walk her to and from work every day, run over that guy that kicked her dog with your dodge carrivan, ect., result: get arrested for manslaughter and assualt, get a restraining order slapped on you and shipped off to an insane asylum... What? You were expecting positive results? These are women man, give it up.

Or you do things my way, and never have these problems.

 

[motai]

They find girlfriends, but those girls/women are the same as they are, obnoxious to everyone but their little circle of friends, completely superficial, and looking for trophies, not relationships.

Yeah, its especially bad when those type of people drag me into their messed up world, try to get me to do things for them when obviously they have an ulterior agenda. Of course, I had no idea at the time that these people in particular were like this (they seemed friendly at first glance) until they insulted me, so I left. It was pretty obvious to me after 5 minutes of talking that it wasn't going to go well.

 

[loseyourname]

Are you flirting with them or being careful to only present yourself as showing no interest, other than a friend?

If the girl is the least bit good-looking, then any guy that talks to her is interested. That's just he way men are. They have evolutionarily built-in urges that tell them to screw every attractive woman they come in contact with. The sooner women get over this the better. A man cannot control his desires, only his actions.

 

[Mk]

Or you can go around with the t-shirt my one friend has that says across her chest "my eyes are up here!" with an arrow pointing upward...

Since I was like 8 or 9 I've always hated to look at someone's eyes when you are talking them or vice versa, I've always looked at slightly above breast level, since when. And that turned out to have slight problems, if I'm not going to look at their face, then I end up looking slightly under my point of gazing, I mean, its like 2 inches away! What can I say? Hair is ok too, but when I start out a few inches above breast level, its hard to leave.

 

[franznietzsche]

A man cannot control his desires, only his actions.

I beg to differ. With methodic, intentional self-brainwashing, you can reprogram yourself to desire whatever you'd prefer.

Its fun to experiment with.

For example, try convincing yourself that you believe in a different religion. Just over, and over, repeat various, tenets, ideas, aspects of said religion to yourself on a daily basis, repeatedly during the day. Over time your subconscious mind reprograms itself so that those beliefs become its first reaction if you are asked a question such as what your religion is.

Its a little tricky to pull off correctly, but the key is repetition, as well as what you repeating. Not just words, but images and ideas. If done correctly, you can brainwash yourself into believing anything you'd like about reality, religion, science, your desires, whatever.

Its really neat. Or maybe I'm just weird and like screwing with my head.

 

[russ_watters]

Random thought, franz - once when I was a kid and bored at church I decided to pass the time by changing a habit: Ever notice that when you lace your fingers together, one hand is always on top? Well, through months of conscous effort (yeah, I'm fidgety), I was able to break the habit. Today it feels almost as natural to have my other hand on top. And of I got to bring my hands together quickly, my fingers won't automatically cross, they bump into each other.

Yeah, I like screwing with my own head too. Its good exercise.

 

[Moonbear]

Random thought, franz - once when I was a kid and bored at church I decided to pass the time by changing a habit: Ever notice that when you lace your fingers together, one hand is always on top? Well, through months of conscous effort (yeah, I'm fidgety), I was able to break the habit. Today it feels almost as natural to have my other hand on top. And of I got to bring my hands together quickly, my fingers won't automatically cross, they bump into each other.

Yeah, I like screwing with my own head too. Its good exercise.

I've come to expect things like this from franz, but you? Then again, I can fully respect the idea of a kid being so bored at church he'd resort to seeing if he could lace his fingers differently. Hmm...just tried that...makes my pinky feel funny.

 

[franznietzsche]

I've come to expect things like this from franz, but you? Then again, I can fully respect the idea of a kid being so bored at church he'd resort to seeing if he could lace his fingers differently. Hmm...just tried that...makes my pinky feel funny.

Maybe its 'cause us conservatives need to be crazy together?

 

[bfd]

No, its all the italians on vacation

?

 

[Moonbear]

Maybe its 'cause us conservatives need to be crazy together?

You mean you're not crazy enough on your own?