Why do you not sit next to people on their own?

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SUMMARY

The discussion centers on the social dynamics of sitting alone in public spaces, particularly during university fresher's week. Participants share personal experiences of attempting to engage with strangers while sitting alone, highlighting the challenges of initiating conversations and the fear of rejection. Key points include the observation that many individuals prefer not to approach others due to social anxiety and the expectation of awkwardness. The conversation also touches on the irony of desiring interaction while simultaneously feeling uncomfortable when it occurs.

PREREQUISITES
  • Understanding of social anxiety and its effects on interpersonal communication.
  • Familiarity with university culture and the dynamics of fresher's week.
  • Knowledge of non-verbal cues and their role in initiating conversations.
  • Awareness of the psychological factors influencing social interactions, such as fear of rejection.
NEXT STEPS
  • Research techniques for overcoming social anxiety in public settings.
  • Explore strategies for initiating conversations with strangers effectively.
  • Study the impact of body language on social interactions.
  • Investigate the role of cultural differences in communication styles among university students.
USEFUL FOR

This discussion is beneficial for university students, social psychologists, and anyone interested in improving their social skills and understanding the complexities of human interaction in public spaces.

  • #31
nucleargirl said:
yeah... its difficult to make friends by talking to strangers on the street.

Shouldn't talk to strangers... or swim within 30 minutes of eating.
 
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  • #32
Everyone is a stranger, until one gets to know them.

256bits said:
At the airport one time a while back in the preboarding lounge there was a hot chick sitting all alone, while all the other people were huddled in a far off corner ( so it seemed ). . . . .
In a somewhat similar circumstance, I was sitting in an airport waiting for my flight, and a very attractive woman came and sat in the seat right at my side. She could have sat in dozens of other locations, or a few seats away, or across the aisle. I figured she thought I was safe. :biggrin:

I have no problem striking up a conversation with strangers, and strangers apparently have no trouble approaching me. Usually though, I'm reading or busy with something so folks leave alone.
 
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  • #33
Every Saturday I go to the university library to the fifth floor math stacks and sit at the same table and study. I keep hoping some cool math person will sit near me and we can chat about math. So far the people sitting nearest to me have been: a persistent snorer, a loud lollipop slurper, a strong smelling lunch eater, and just loud enough to be annoying movie watcher. Maybe next week someone interesting will come...
 
  • #34
ArcanaNoir said:
Every Saturday I go to the university library to the fifth floor math stacks and sit at the same table and study. I keep hoping some cool math person will sit near me and we can chat about math. So far the people sitting nearest to me have been: a persistent snorer, a loud lollipop slurper, a strong smelling lunch eater, and just loud enough to be annoying movie watcher. Maybe next week someone interesting will come...

You're clearly not doing it right.
 
  • #35
Pengwuino said:
You're clearly not doing it right.

Well how should I do it? I already don't where my headphones. I know that would not be doing it right... Should I get a sign that says, "math majors, assemble here"?
 
  • #36
ArcanaNoir said:
Well how should I do it? I already don't where my headphones. I know that would not be doing it right... Should I get a sign that says, "math majors, assemble here"?

I'm not sure. I just like telling people that they're not doing it right.
 
  • #37
Pengwuino said:
I'm not sure. I just like telling people that they're not doing it right.

I say it in my head all the time while picturing lolcats :smile:
 
  • #38
ArcanaNoir said:
Well how should I do it? I already don't where my headphones. I know that would not be doing it right... Should I get a sign that says, "math majors, assemble here"?
Could you prominently display a couple of really high-test math texts so that math geeks get intrigued.

When I was looking for new contacts, I'd baby-sit a malamute belonging to a female Swiss exchange student. Nikki and I would sit on the library steps, and young ladies would throw themselves at him. It's shocking how many college girls will let their guard down and spend time with a stranger if he has a handsome dog by his side.

My wife always says that if she dies, I have to take Duke walking in parks, etc, until he finds me a good wife.
 
  • #39
Here beggars carry dogs or kittens with them I was bit intrigued watching how good they are with ladies haha
 
  • #40
When I sit in class people seem to avoid the two chairs on each side of me. My theory is that I'm some sort of scary dude.:rolleyes:
 
  • #43
Post on craigs list.
 
  • #44
ArcanaNoir said:
Every Saturday I go to the university library to the fifth floor math stacks and sit at the same table and study. I keep hoping some cool math person will sit near me and we can chat about math. So far the people sitting nearest to me have been: a persistent snorer, a loud lollipop slurper, a strong smelling lunch eater, and just loud enough to be annoying movie watcher. Maybe next week someone interesting will come...
Isn't there a student chapter of the AMS at the university?
http://www.ams.org/profession/student

Presumably one could arrange a study or discussion group at the library, or at least meet one or two other cool math people with whom one could interact.
 
  • #45
Perhaps people are subject to the Pauli exclusion principle.
 
  • #46
Kurdt said:
Perhaps people are subject to the Pauli exclusion principle.
as well as the uncertainty principle.

Opposite spins attract?
 
  • #47
ArcanaNoir said:
Every Saturday I go to the university library to the fifth floor math stacks and sit at the same table and study. I keep hoping some cool math person will sit near me and we can chat about math. So far the people sitting nearest to me have been: a persistent snorer, a loud lollipop slurper, a strong smelling lunch eater, and just loud enough to be annoying movie watcher. Maybe next week someone interesting will come...

I would go around library and hunt them down :devil:
 
  • #48
DaveC426913 said:
Just came back from London.
http://www.davesbrain.ca/adventures/11london/index.html"
Had barely enough time to walk through Hyde Park.

Nice pics, you got to visit a lot of places!

Not to be too pedantic, but what you call the legendary london bridge is actually called tower bridge.
 
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  • #49
cristo said:
Nice pics, you got to visit a lot of places!

Not to be too pedantic, but what you call the legendary london bridge is actually called tower bridge.

Yeah. :blushing: I really should change that.
 
  • #50
It's really quite annoying when random strangers try to converse with me for no reason at all. Even a pretty girl gets me annoyed very quickly if I'm not in small talk mood (which is like 95% of the time). I only talk people up when I have an intention (hitting on a girl would be a typical reason).

Earplugs/iPod and a book are my main tools of defense here!
 
  • #51
SamirS said:
It's really quite annoying when random strangers try to converse with me for no reason at all. Even a pretty girl gets me annoyed very quickly if I'm not in small talk mood (which is like 95% of the time). I only talk people up when I have an intention (hitting on a girl would be a typical reason).
Would this be an example of a double standard?
You do unto other people something that, when done to you, is annoying? :wink:
 
  • #52
DaveC426913 said:
Would this be an example of a double standard?
You do unto other people something that, when done to you, is annoying? :wink:

Touche.

Well I wouldn't hit on a girl in an everday situation like public transportation. Most likely it is because I'm totally not in the mood usually, but I like to tell myself it is because I respect the privacy of others as I want mine to be respected.

Especially for the original thread starter, I remembered this gem, too:

http://xkcd.com/642/
 
  • #53
SamirS said:
Especially for the original thread starter, I remembered this gem, too:

http://xkcd.com/642/

Haha, I saw that XKCD a month or so back, the truth, it hurts. :P
 
  • #54
Neh! The truth is wonderful! :smile:
 
  • #55
ok, so I'm living in halls now, and most people stay in their rooms in the evening. the ones in the common room are either watching football or playing a drinking game. I want to do neither but I want to talk to people! Is it too weird to knock on random people's doors and talk to them that way?
 
  • #56
nucleargirl said:
Is it too weird to knock on random people's doors and talk to them that way?
Yes.

But you're a chick so it might work out.
 
  • #57
nucleargirl said:
s it too weird to knock on random people's doors and talk to them that way?

It's quite possibly the weirdest thing I've ever heard of.
 
  • #58
If a girl knocked on my door, I'd think it weird, but it would also intrigue me... :smile:
TBH, if a guy did, I'd expect an ulterior motive and brush him off.

People who sit quietly at home do not attract my attention. :wink:
 
  • #59
nucleargirl said:
Is it too weird to knock on random people's doors and talk to them that way?

"...Tabak was invited into Miss Yeates's flat when she saw him walking past her kitchen window. It was here, Mr Clegg said, where the pair introduced themselves to one another "and chatted as neighbours would"...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-15368208
 
  • #60
AlephZero said:
"...Tabak was invited into Miss Yeates's flat when she saw him walking past her kitchen window. It was here, Mr Clegg said, where the pair introduced themselves to one another "and chatted as neighbours would"...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-15368208

Cautionary tale, true. But I think she's in a dorm, not wandering the neighborhood..
 

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