Why do you not sit next to people on their own?

  • Thread starter Thread starter nucleargirl
  • Start date Start date
AI Thread Summary
During fresher's week at university, one student attempted to meet new people by sitting alone in a conspicuous spot, hoping others would join them. Despite waiting and eating two satsumas, no one approached, leading to frustration about the lack of interaction among fellow lonely students. The second day brought an encounter with an arrogant fifth-year student who dominated the conversation without engaging meaningfully. The discussion highlighted the common hesitation people feel about approaching strangers, often due to fears of rejection or awkwardness. Ultimately, the thread reflects on the challenges of initiating conversations in social settings, especially among new students.
  • #51
SamirS said:
It's really quite annoying when random strangers try to converse with me for no reason at all. Even a pretty girl gets me annoyed very quickly if I'm not in small talk mood (which is like 95% of the time). I only talk people up when I have an intention (hitting on a girl would be a typical reason).
Would this be an example of a double standard?
You do unto other people something that, when done to you, is annoying? :wink:
 
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  • #52
DaveC426913 said:
Would this be an example of a double standard?
You do unto other people something that, when done to you, is annoying? :wink:

Touche.

Well I wouldn't hit on a girl in an everday situation like public transportation. Most likely it is because I'm totally not in the mood usually, but I like to tell myself it is because I respect the privacy of others as I want mine to be respected.

Especially for the original thread starter, I remembered this gem, too:

http://xkcd.com/642/
 
  • #53
SamirS said:
Especially for the original thread starter, I remembered this gem, too:

http://xkcd.com/642/

Haha, I saw that XKCD a month or so back, the truth, it hurts. :P
 
  • #54
Neh! The truth is wonderful! :smile:
 
  • #55
ok, so I'm living in halls now, and most people stay in their rooms in the evening. the ones in the common room are either watching football or playing a drinking game. I want to do neither but I want to talk to people! Is it too weird to knock on random people's doors and talk to them that way?
 
  • #56
nucleargirl said:
Is it too weird to knock on random people's doors and talk to them that way?
Yes.

But you're a chick so it might work out.
 
  • #57
nucleargirl said:
s it too weird to knock on random people's doors and talk to them that way?

It's quite possibly the weirdest thing I've ever heard of.
 
  • #58
If a girl knocked on my door, I'd think it weird, but it would also intrigue me... :smile:
TBH, if a guy did, I'd expect an ulterior motive and brush him off.

People who sit quietly at home do not attract my attention. :wink:
 
  • #59
nucleargirl said:
Is it too weird to knock on random people's doors and talk to them that way?

"...Tabak was invited into Miss Yeates's flat when she saw him walking past her kitchen window. It was here, Mr Clegg said, where the pair introduced themselves to one another "and chatted as neighbours would"...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-15368208
 
  • #60
AlephZero said:
"...Tabak was invited into Miss Yeates's flat when she saw him walking past her kitchen window. It was here, Mr Clegg said, where the pair introduced themselves to one another "and chatted as neighbours would"...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-15368208

Cautionary tale, true. But I think she's in a dorm, not wandering the neighborhood..
 
  • #61
nucleargirl said:
ok, so I'm living in halls now, and most people stay in their rooms in the evening. the ones in the common room are either watching football or playing a drinking game. I want to do neither but I want to talk to people! Is it too weird to knock on random people's doors and talk to them that way?

Umm, what do you mean by "I'm living in halls now"?
 
  • #62
Drakkith said:
Umm, what do you mean by "I'm living in halls now"?

A dorm.

i.e. she's knocking on the doors of fellow dormers, not wandering the dark streets, knocking on the doors of the homes of complete strangers.
 
  • #63
lol! I am living in student accommodation with like 300 other students!
I tried knocking on people's doors today... 3 in fact, and none of them were in!
It is easier to meet people on facebook...
anyway, I can't be bothered now. term's begun, I've got too much work, and yeah.
 
  • #64
Ha, looks like I was dead right about you, if you recall our little exchange. Just so you know I have a girlfriend and she makes me dinner every weekend, and she's great. :approve:

But on the whole topic of sitting next to strangers - why would I? If I have some reason to talk to someone - they're in a class of mine, we're in the same club, or share some common thread, then sure why not - but a total stranger? Just another human who's consuming resources and bringing up the cost of oil as far as I'm concerned, and I have zero interest in meeting random people.
 
  • #65
DaveC426913 said:
A dorm.

i.e. she's knocking on the doors of fellow dormers, not wandering the dark streets, knocking on the doors of the homes of complete strangers.

I'm assuming she has a dorm room and isn't literally living in the halls right?

Nucleargirl, I can tell you exactly why people don't sit next to you. It's because they don't WANT to. The reasons why are varied, but most probably don't enjoy attempting to sit next to a complete stranger and striking up conversation, and to many you simply aren't part of their "bubble" of things they care about.
 
  • #66
Why would they not want to?! ha. impossible :p

ok, I guess yeah, in a normal situation people don't randomly talk to strangers. But I was originally referring to a fresher's week on campus kind of situation! when and where it is the thing to do to meet new people! so I was surprised that people ignored others who were by themselves. But yeah, I guess it all boils down to the same thing.

well, I am actually trying a new thing now. it is called - being independent, and I don't need you to talk to me! I am so badass you'll want to talk to me and I will ignore YOU!
anyway... it seems to be working.
 
  • #67
pergradus said:
Ha, looks like I was dead right about you, if you recall our little exchange. Just so you know I have a girlfriend and she makes me dinner every weekend, and she's great. :approve:

But on the whole topic of sitting next to strangers - why would I? If I have some reason to talk to someone - they're in a class of mine, we're in the same club, or share some common thread, then sure why not - but a total stranger? Just another human who's consuming resources and bringing up the cost of oil as far as I'm concerned, and I have zero interest in meeting random people.

lol! what conversation?? I am very good at forgetting.

I love how you had to preface it all with your girlfriend situation! lol is that how it is now!
 
  • #68
ah... I remember now :p come on! get over it!
 

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