StatGuy2000 said:
Rika, your post is both rude and uncalled for. A close friend of mine has elderly parents with health problems and being an only child she feels that she has a responsibility to help care for them, so I understand the OP's desire to live close to his parents and look after them.
meldraft said:
Your post makes a point, but this (and other things) are uncalled for. Love for one's parents is nothing to be ashamed of.
It's extremely difficult to overstate how utterly hellish my mother's life is! I have an autistic sister (now 24), and my father hasn't worked for 20 years. He was reluctant to look for work initially because he felt he was needed to take my sister for hospital appointments etc, and ended up making himself unemployable!
On the one hand I feel an inordinate yearning to get my own place and escape from the madness of my home life, but on the other I feel that to do so would be in effect to knife my mother in the back. She had no part in my father's fecklessness (including that which led to his brain haemorrhage -- both she and I sensed something was wrong and were begging him to go to the doctor) and she always spends money on myself and my sister to the near-limit of her ability. She'd probably think "I've done everything I could for you, and now you want to run away when it's time to give something back in return?? How dare you!"
If I got my own place but stayed in the North East I'd still be willing to take her for groceries, but she's started dreaming about nice houses and I know I almost certainly couldn't find a well-paid enough job locally to buy her a house and pay for (either mortgage or rent) a place of my own!
Choppy said:
If this is the only thing that's stopping you, one option might be to move your entire family.
Given what houses cost down south, how could I possibly afford this? My dad's been unemployed for 20 years (see above). Anyway, I wish I could get away from my family. I looked at some houses in Peterlee (nearest town) thinking that if I could buy them a house there (within walking distance of shops) they wouldn't need me anymore to take them shopping and I would be free to find my own place. However, I printed a list of about 60 properties within my budget and my mother said none of them was big enough! She also suggested that if I left they couldn't afford to even
maintain the house even if I bought it outright for them, and that they didn't think I'd be capable of living independently anyway (probably because of various mental health issues I have -- nervous behaviours such as biting fingers being one of the main ones...)
twofish-quant said:
One thing that I found out was that it was feasible (and in fact cheaper than moving there) to commute between Texas and NYC.
I'm no environmentalist (check out some of my posts in the pro-nuclear power blogosphere) but even I would shudder at the carbon footprint left by a Texas-NYC commuter!
StatGuy2000 said:
I have always had the impression that the English have very deeply rooted cultural ties to the particular city/town/region they are born in, to a far greater extent than Americans or Canadians (in fact, it is more common for people from England to emigrate to the US, Canada, Australia, or elsewhere than to move to different cities within England).
True, and nowhere more so than the North East!
Rika said:
Isn't it obvious? C'mon dude - you earn only 30% more than pizza delivery man and you are a programmer. Programmers are gods of job market nowadays so your situation is kinda pitiful. Do you need to starve in order to move on?
My mother has often taunted me by saying that I'm barely better off than my cousin (who's in a minimum wage job) once my commuting costs (25 miles each way, more or less) are taken into account. And back in last July, when I put my CV back online as I was expecting to be made redundant -- I got phone calls from recruiters saying "you could be making over £30k/year down south"...
Rika said:
And why did u choose gamedev in a first place if you have no passion for that? You could earn much more money with web/business programming.
I didn't really "choose gamedev" per se.
My first attempt at getting a job after my viva (that's "thesis defense" for you Yanks) was at Scott Logic Ltd, which writes financial web applications. I was there for two months on trial at the end of 2006, but failed to keep the job. Perhaps it's because even back then Lehman Brothers -- then Scott Logic's main client -- was in trouble. Perhaps it's because banks were increasingly moving development in-house, or perhaps my own soft skills weren't up to scratch. I'm not sure which was the most important factor...
In 2007 I got about half a dozen interviews for IT jobs, in various fields. I think my hobby of developing freeware instrument panels for Microsoft Flight Simulator (in the portfolio linked from my online CV, you'll see some screenshots of these -- alternatively google "Historic Jetliners Group" for samples of my work) may have helped me get my foot in the door with a games developer.