Funniest Member Award Nomination: Time to Strut Your Stuff!

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The discussion centers around the upcoming nomination for the Funniest Member award, with participants sharing humorous anecdotes and jokes to showcase their comedic talents. A notable joke about a girl with a wooden leg is highlighted, sparking further banter. Members reminisce about past nominees and winners, with some humorously suggesting that previous winners have mysteriously disappeared, possibly due to being sacrificed to a fictional volcano god. The conversation includes playful nominations for various members, including Astronuc, Evo, and Moonbear, with a running joke about the consequences of being funny, such as being thrown into a volcano. There's a mix of lighthearted humor and absurdity, with discussions about the nature of humor, the qualifications for the award, and the playful dynamics of the forum community. The thread captures a blend of camaraderie and comedic competition as members prepare for the nomination process.
  • #51
turbo-1 said:
I assure you that the volcano gods are bloodthirsty. Here is a citation:

http://www.uncoveror.com/volcano.htm

Evo said:
Well, there you go, proof.
Sorry, but a formal review of this article is so hopeless that I'm surprised it managed to even get past the filters and get published. A proper scientific analysis should have considered various other possible explanations and conducted experiments under laboraty conditions before ruling any of these other possibilities out. For instance, isn't it equally likely that the Volcano God actually is not drinking the blood of his victim, he mearly pretends to so as not to insult the hostess of the dinner party? A researcher paper on the subject must take this into consideration. This guy isn't even *pretending* to understand the subject of Holy Volcanology. And besides, I hear that this Rama Ho Lama, the leader of this research institution, still holds out hope for Uri Gellar. Seriously! So, are you, or anyone else, telling me that Volcano Gods really are blood-thirsty based on this so-called research? I hope not.
 
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  • #52
turbo-1 said:
I assure you that the volcano gods are bloodthirsty. Here is a citation:

http://www.uncoveror.com/volcano.htm

Aw man.. we've been doing it wrong.:redface: We're supposed to be throwing in virgins. No wonder Danger and Tribdog got coughed out like furballs.
 
  • #53
Math Is Hard said:
Aw man.. we've been doing it wrong.:redface: We're supposed to be throwing in virgins. No wonder Danger and Tribdog got coughed out like furballs.

In another equally valid reference frame, Danger and Tribdog previously had some spicy Mexican food and "let out" a volcano! :)
 
  • #54
Math Is Hard said:
Aw man.. we've been doing it wrong.:redface: We're supposed to be throwing in virgins. No wonder Danger and Tribdog got coughed out like furballs.
:bugeye: Oh, that would explain why Pengwuino was accepted...
 
  • #55
Note that the accepted exchange rate (male to female) is 10:1. We can get a lot more bang for the buck throwing females in. If we push a couple of the Sisters in, maybe the volcano gods would regard the subject of virginity as a non-issue.
 
  • #56
Evo said:
:bugeye: Oh, that would explain why Pengwuino was accepted...

I miss all the penguins we used to have around here. :cry: Even if they did steal the fish.:frown:
 
  • #57
Didn't Pengwuino claim he hadn't been around for a while because he had a girlfriend? Was that a last ditch attempt to escape the volcano? It all makes sense now.
 
  • #58
Kurdt said:
Didn't Pengwuino claim he hadn't been around for a while because he had a girlfriend? Was that a last ditch attempt to escape the volcano? It all makes sense now.
Yes, but it was too late...he was still a virgin.
 
  • #59
virgin? i only know of one and it flies away as soon as one gets aboard.
 
  • #60
Well, am I in the running?

Is it worth reading up on pyroclastic flows and lahars, and how to avoid getting roasted and scorched?

Does the winner get on of those cool thermal suits?

Does the winner get a choice of volcano?

I'll probably think of more questions when the contest gets started.
 
  • #61
I think Astro is going to be history. Get yourself ready to be flame-broiled.

Your only hope is to go into a rant and upset as many of your supporters as possible with much poking of sharp sticks into sensitive areas and bludgeoning of heads with heavy stones. Then you stand a chance of not winning funniest member. Unfortunately, you would probably lose the community spirit award forever. The volcano gods show no mercy.
 
  • #62
wolram said:
virgin? i only know of one and it flies away as soon as one gets aboard.
I know where to go to find virgins. In front of the Library in NYC, you will find a pair of lions. These lions are trained to pounce upon any virgin that walks by.
 
  • #63
Ok. Here is my shot at irrelevant humor:

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

You can't! A mosquito is a vector and a mountain climber is a scalar!


(This is one of those jokes that you don't get and suddenly start laughing the next morning.) Unless you are a member of PF of course :biggrin:.
 
  • #64
It's almost volcano feeding time...

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/05/images/volcano.jpg
 
  • #65
Math Is Hard said:
It's almost volcano feeding time...

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/05/images/volcano.jpg

That looks more like a flaming mole hill than a volcano.
 
  • #66
Math Is Hard said:
Aw man.. we've been doing it wrong.:redface: We're supposed to be throwing in virgins. No wonder Danger and Tribdog got coughed out like furballs.

:smile:
 
  • #67
Kurdt said:
That looks more like a flaming mole hill than a volcano.

I wouldn't taunt it if I were you.
 
  • #68
Math Is Hard said:
I wouldn't taunt it if I were you.
Fess' up MIH! That was picture of your Junior High Science Project! A little PhotoShopping goes a long way! If there had been a team of volcano-appeasers on the peak preparing to throw a virgin into the caldera, I might have been convinced. FAKE volcano!
 
  • #69
Looks like the National Geographic couldn't find a picture of the real volcano and thought that sticking a flare in a mole hill with some dramatic back lighting would do the job :smile:
 
  • #70
turbo-1 said:
That's not real! The victim has to be bound and be tossed in by a rather large crowd-surfing party with drums, chanting, and stuff. The volcano gods will not be satisfied by such a lame effort and we will all suffer the consequences. Perhaps a MIH sacrifice would suffice, or maybe MIH and Moonbear. I'll miss you both but for the common good... bye!

heh. No way, Jose. Moonbear and I have immunity :approve:

I wonder if the volcano likes spicy food. I figure with all that hotsauce and salsa you eat... :devil:
 
  • #71
jimmysnyder said:
I know where to go to find virgins. In front of the Library in NYC, you will find a pair of lions. These lions are trained to pounce upon any virgin that walks by.

Sorry. This is just an urban legend. College campuses are not a good place to find virgins. This urban myth is debunked here.
 
  • #72
D H said:
Sorry. This is just an urban legend.
When I think of all the hours I've wasted at the NYC public library.
 
  • #73
Math Is Hard said:
I wonder if the volcano likes spicy food. I figure with all that hotsauce and salsa you eat... :devil:
I'm too hot for the volcano, and it would spit me right out to avoid heartburn.
 
  • #74
We could dump in a truckload of Tagamet before we throw you in. :biggrin:
 
  • #75
Math Is Hard said:
We could dump in a truckload of Tagamet before we throw you in. :biggrin:
That might work, but there's still the virgin thing. How do you undo 40 years of non-virgin-type activity? :wink:
 
  • #76
turbo-1 said:
That might work, but there's still the virgin thing. How do you undo 40 years of non-virgin-type activity? :wink:
istockphoto_236728_rusty_old_scissors.jpg

This works every time.
 
  • #77
YIKES!
 
  • #78
turbo-1 said:
I guess those could prevent future participation in unvirgin-like activities, but the bloodthirsty volcano gods would still know about my past. (How DO they know?)

Volcano gods prefer women 10:1, so if we can't find a PF sister who is a virgin, we should pick one or two pretty ones to toss in that haven't had sex for a while. Close enough!

And the rest of us are starting to wonder how a photoshoped science project has this kind of power.
 
  • #79
I assume that the PF volcano is the secret underground lair of the PF Mentor Palace? Is SpaceTiger still scrubbing the bathtub with Lysol? Or did you get another bathroom that is not unisex anymore? I'm confused.

:rolleyes:
 
  • #80
Artman said:
It seems like a terrible waste to sacrifice a perfectly good virgin to a flaming leaf pile. So Astronuc, looks like you're a go after all! :biggrin:
Then again maybe not. I've been married 25+ years, so that makes me a eunuch. I don't think I'll even get to the qualification round.
 
  • #81
Leafpile or flaming volcano, it would be nice to put it out before G01 uses it to set fire to the place.

Do we still have that fireproof plating from when Evo moved? That would be nice.
 
  • #82
Math Jeans said:
Do we still have that fireproof plating from when Evo moved? That would be nice.
To paraphrase W, you misunderestimate Evo. If she ever had any fireproof plating, it was probably constructed of thermite. Not that there's anything wrong with that... :rolleyes:
 
  • #83
turbo-1 said:
To paraphrase W, you misunderestimate Evo. If she ever had any fireproof plating, it was probably constructed of thermite. Not that there's anything wrong with that... :rolleyes:

If I remember correctly, while she was gone, we just covered everything with big granite slabs.

Thats where the big pile of scorched granite over in the career help section came from.
 
  • #84
D H said:
Those look like mighty dull and mighty scorched scissors. Did you play scissors/paper/rock with them on the PF volcano?
I threw the rock and the paper into the volcano. A pair of dull, rusty scissors is far superior. They are the favorite weapon of all the savage island tribes, who often fasten them to the ends of pointy sticks. It's the perfect tool for herding potential sacrifices into the fiery pit. The tribes experimented with knocking out sacrifices with rocks and dragging them, and binding them in laws and contracts on paper, but they ended up sticking with the scissors in the typical savage tradition as it produces the most pleasant hooting and jeering effect and promotes a sense of cooperation and participation from all involved.
 
  • #85
Artman said:
It looks like someone's leaf pile caught fire and Evo is trying to put it out with a penguin.

:smile:
 
  • #86
I wonder whatever happened to tribdog?
 
  • #87
and the pengwuino? And I wondered about cyrus, but cyrus has been showing up lately - now and then.
 
  • #88
He has been gone awhile.

Greg is probably going to ask us to niominate members in a week or two. He usually wants 5-6 nominees.

This is your last chance to be funny people. :devil:
 
  • #89
not funny. not worthy of volcano sacrifice. just regular.
 
  • #90
turbo-1 said:
not funny. not worthy of volcano sacrifice. just regular.
That's funny! Very funny! See - I'm laughing :smile: :biggrin: :wink:
 
  • #91
turbo-1 said:
not funny. not worthy of volcano sacrifice. just regular.
Going by post #91, I'd say you are a candidate for the volcano.
 
  • #92
Evo said:
Going by post #91, I'd say you are a candidate for the volcano.
I am already as hot as I can be (internally) with chili relishes incorporated into almost every meal. Pick someone who is amusing, clever, and creative. My main talents include gardening and cooking, and this board has no real concentration on that stuff - it's just a side-line.

I would not object to a "quirky, odd, but gives a sh1t award" Ain't happening, though. A couple of collaborators and I have a paper under review regarding M-51 type galaxy associations and though the catalog should be accepted with no problems, the next paper (statistical analysis of the redshift differentials in the catalog) will be met with resistance, denials, and circular reasoning.
 
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  • #93
turbo-1 said:
I am already as hot as I can be (internally) with chili relishes incorporated into almost every meal.
You'd probably give the volcano heartburn.

Since gardening and cooking are two of my top interests, they are major categories in GD, along with kittens and cute baby animals. :!)
 
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  • #94
See, you guys, this is serious business.
 
  • #95
Can't be real. The throwers must be a conga-line of scantily -clad natives in ceremonial dress, and here we have a single white woman in a pant-suit. The image is SO convincing otherwise, but these cues lead me to believe that this is a fake!
 
  • #96
turbo-1 said:
Can't be real. The throwers must be a conga-line of scantily -clad natives in ceremonial dress, and here we have a single white woman in a pant-suit. The image is SO convincing otherwise, but these cues lead me to believe that this is a fake!

Plus the fact that I found pictures of Penguino's demise. If you can make it through this blog (in spite of the ever obnoxious Chet), it's clear what happened. Poor Penguino was lured by a density of bird feeders and met his demise on Jan 6 (you have to scroll down quite a ways).

http://www.juliezickefoose.com/blog/archive/2006_01_01_juliezickefoose_archive.html

Poor Penguino.:frown:

P.S. - I think he might have wound up as the secret ingredient in that concoction the evil red-headed girl is cooking.
 
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  • #97
turbo-1 said:
To paraphrase W, you misunderestimate Evo. If she ever had any fireproof plating, it was probably constructed of thermite. Not that there's anything wrong with that... :rolleyes:

Oh. I just remembered what thermite was :biggrin::rolleyes:. Who can man a fire-extinguisher? I have received word that Evo still isn't done moving.

If this is done right, Evo will only kill a few of us.
 
  • #98
Holy Crap I've been nominated!:eek:

My fire resistant long johns are at the cleaners! Oh my gosh! I'll have to beat off the flaming volcano with my penguin!

:rolleyes:

(I think I need to reword that somehow.)

If the volcano gets too close, I'll have to grab my penguin and beat it off.

:rolleyes:

not much better.

Actually, I'm so far behind I don't even need to beat off the flaming leaf pile. :approve:
 
  • #99
Heck, I'm so far behind I don't have to beat off anything.

:rolleyes:

Well I don't have to.
 
  • #100
Math Jeans said:
If this is done right, Evo will only kill a few of us.

Evo doesn't kill people. Volcanoes kill people.
 

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