How to help an old lady (dementia / Alzheimer's)

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In summary, the customer has been struggling to remember things and has been confused about money. She has been trying to pay for cigarettes with cigarettes instead of money, and has recently shown up at the store trying to give the storeowner two cigarettes in exchange for money. The storeowner has been trying to explain to her that she needs money, but the customer has been confused and has not been able to understand. The customer has been showing signs of being lonely and vulnerable, and the storeowner is concerned for her safety.
  • #1
Sophia
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OK, I don't know if there's something I should do.

I've known this customer for about 3 years. She's an older lady who regularly bought cigarettes in our store and was completely normal and decent lady. During last year, I can see a rapid deterioration of her cognitive abilities. At first, she couldn't remember the name of her cigarettes, but it was not a problem, because I knew what she wanted. Later, she didn't understand the difference between cents and euros- she gave me 3 cents and absolutely couldn't understand that I need 3€.

In the last months, she tried to pay for a whole pack of cigarettes by giving me 2 cigarettes back. She was totally confused and didn't understand the problem with that.

Today she couldn't even talk. She spoke like this :"give me such thing ... So I can... You know... (miming writing using her hand) I asked if she wants crosswords and she was like yes yes. I gave her some to choose from and she was like "no... I need that... That... He will scold me for these" (miming what looks like reading now) I give her the most popular woman's magazine and she wants to take it. She gives me 2 cigarettes instead of money. I explain I need money.

She then lifts her shirt up and shows me several cigarettes hidden in her bra saying "this is all I've got! So you won't give me this?" I say no and she leaves very confused not understanding what I want.
I'm concerned that this lady walks in the town alone without supervision. I'm afraid she might get lost or something will happen to her. I don't know her name or where she lives.

Is there something I can do for her? Should I call someone (who?) or should I let it be?
 
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  • #2
A European country ...there are departments that deal with such things , send them the details as outlined in your post , and e mail might be easiest .
 
  • #3
I once have been in a similar situation. "My customer" asked me late at 11 pm as I got home for the way to school and of course explained why.
Luckily I knew some of her relatives who I could call and inform the next day. Maybe you can find out, whether she has relatives. Look in her purse or try to ask her. If she is a religious person, you can try to contact a priest. Unfortunately there are no "official" ways I knew of to handle such situations. However, asking the police whether they know a way out can't be wrong. Probably in vain, but hey, give it a try.
 
  • #4
Firstly doing what you're doing by making sure she's ok in the shop is great. Beyond that do you know where she lives, if she has any relatives? Do you have any reason to suspect she doesn't have a carer?
 
  • #5
Thank you. I don't know if she lives with someone, I've never seen her with husband.
Next time, I'll try to tactfully ask her who she lives with. She wears a cross necklace, so maybe she goes to church. I may ask the priest. Or I'll write to social department of town council. I know one person who works there.
 
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  • #6
That's a tough one. It sounds like this lady is really struggling.

It's possible that she has a caregiver and that person or group allows her to go out and buy her cigarettes or whatever because they give her a small amount of her own money for that specific purpose. It can be good for people with dementia to continue on with their daily activities provided they are not in any position to do harm or be seriously harmed by anyone who might take advantage of them.

That said, if you are really concerned for this person's well-being, you could contact either the police or emergency medical services. I know it may not really be a conventional or life-threatening emergency when she shows up, but this could be a matter of an individual who may not be able to take care of herself. Police or EMS will often have the ability to contact the appropriate social or medical services to get her the support she needs.
 
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  • #7
Yes, that might be a good idea, too. She doesn't visit that often now. Next time she comes, I'll try to sensitively find out if she has someone who cares for her so that I don't make unnecessary panic.
Based on her answer, I'll decide what to do next.
 

1. How can I communicate effectively with an old lady with dementia/Alzheimer's?

It is important to speak slowly and clearly, using simple words and short sentences. Use a calm and reassuring tone of voice, and maintain eye contact. Avoid asking too many questions and give the person time to respond. Use visual aids and gestures to help with communication.

2. What activities can I do with an old lady with dementia/Alzheimer's?

Engaging in familiar and enjoyable activities can help improve mood and overall well-being. Some ideas include listening to music, doing simple puzzles or crafts, going for a walk, or looking through old photos together. It is important to choose activities that the person used to enjoy and that are not too challenging.

3. How can I ensure the safety of an old lady with dementia/Alzheimer's?

Remove any potential hazards from the environment and make sure the person has a safe and comfortable place to live. Consider installing safety locks on doors and windows, and using labels or pictures to help the person identify rooms. Keep important items such as keys and medications in a secure place. Regularly check on the person and make sure they are not left alone for extended periods of time.

4. How can I support an old lady with dementia/Alzheimer's who becomes agitated or aggressive?

It is important to remain calm and avoid getting into arguments or confrontations with the person. Try to redirect their attention to a different activity or topic. Use a calm and reassuring tone of voice and try to understand what may be causing their agitation. Seek help from a medical professional if the behavior becomes difficult to manage.

5. How can I take care of myself while caring for an old lady with dementia/Alzheimer's?

Caring for someone with dementia/Alzheimer's can be physically and emotionally demanding. It is important to take breaks and ask for help from family members or other caregivers. Make sure to take care of your own physical and mental health by eating well, getting enough rest, and seeking support from friends and support groups. Remember that it is okay to ask for help and take breaks when needed.

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