Inventive Genius: Ted M. Moss' Patented Mouse Trap

[jamesrc]

"High tech mousing that not only kills but crushes and incinerates the victim is offered in a trap devised by Texan Ted M. Moss. His enclosed apparatus lures a doomed rodent into a cylindrical chamber with bait. An electric eye senses the presence of the mouse and actuates a spring driven vertical harpoon that spears the creature on the spot. Once dead, the mouse is crushed between two flat metal plates to a thickness of about three-sixteenths of an inch and incinerated by an electric coil. The trap then automatically places another morsel in the bait chamber and resets itself to harpoon the next small intruder."

-Inventive Genius
Library of Curious and Unusual Facts
Time-Life books, 1991

Wow, that's great. So did the world beat a path to this guy's door or what?

 

[Loren Booda]

To think that we deprived Westerners are allowed only three mouse feces per sack of flour!

 

[Evo]

To think that we deprived Westerners are allowed only three mouse feces per sack of flour!

Not to mention the limits to the acceptable amounts of rodent urine in chocolate.

 

[Loren Booda]

So that's why my cocoa keeps me up at night?

 

[Moonbear]

Thanks to Ivan for finding this thread again just as I found yet another mousetrap patent! This one's just evil.

United States Patent 6,865,843
Jordan, Sr. March 15, 2005
Portable electrical mouse trap

Abstract
A portable electrical mouse trap that has a housing in the shape of a cat to which a handle is attached. An interior cavity of the mouse trap contains a primary motion sensor near its entrance, a retractable primary gate, a reservoir of a fragrance that smells like fresh cheese, a secondary motion sensor near an entrance to the collection chamber, a retractable secondary gate and a vacuum source. The primary motion sensor and secondary motion sensor detect the presence of a mouse inside the interior cavity. The primary gate automatically opens when activated by the primary motion sensor and the secondary gate automatically opens when activated by the secondary motion sensor. A vacuum tube connects the vacuum source and collection chamber. The vacuum source sucks the mouse fully into the collection chamber and thereby suffocates it. A speaker informs a user when the collection chamber is full.

http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-...,865,843.WKU.&OS=PN/6,865,843&RS=PN/6,865,843


Check out the picture!
http://www.uspto.gov/web/patents/patog/week11/OG/html/1292-3/US06865843-20050315.html
How likely is it that a mouse is going to wander right into a cat's mouth?

 

[Evo]

Oh yeah, real hard to find since it is the first link in the first post of General discussion classics It just happens to be my favorite thread.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Oh yeah, real hard to find since it is the first link in the first post of General discussion classics It just happens to be my favorite thread.

Now here I had impressed MB and you had to spoil it! :grumpy:

 

[Moonbear]

Oh yeah, real hard to find since it is the first link in the first post of General discussion classics It just happens to be my favorite thread.

Now here I had impressed MB and you had to spoil it!

:rofl: Right in front of my eyes is always the last place I look for something.

 

[Evo]

Now here I had impressed MB and you had to spoil it! :grumpy:

Ooops, sorry, I owe you. Or you could say that you searched for hours before finding it.

Now I know MB hasn't been reading my threads though.

 

[Moonbear]

Now I know MB hasn't been reading my threads though.

:uhh: Oops. No, haven't visited that thread in a while. When I do read it, I usually skip to the end to see if there's anything new in it. I forgot what's at the beginning.

 

[cronxeh]

Hmm patent # 4,669,216.X

Pituitary gland remover for mice with adjacent storage container and a separator

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Cheese on mouse

This traditional Scottish recipe that became popular in 1992 after the Moss Mouse Masher became a household hit. The successful cull of mice led to an enor-mouse cheese surplus which was overcome by the introduction of a high cheese diet.

The cheese surplus problem was eventually overcome by the invention of mad cow disease, foot and mouth disease and the Nice Cold Ice Cold Milk campaign, chronological absurdity notwithstanding.

A Glasgow version has the cheese on mouse deep fried rather than grilled. This, however, is a more healthy option that results in a less cheesy vat of vegetable oil.

- 1 mouse
- a large quantity of cheese
- any seasoning that will take away the taste of cheese

Place as much of the cheese as possible on the mouse and place under a grill. Do not allow to melt onto the grill pan too much.

Take the mouse out of the grill and leave to stand until the cheese has set. Then, turn the mouse over and repeat.

Allow to set again and repeat from the beginning. Continue turning, cheesing, grilling and leaving to stand until you run out of cheese or can no longer fit the mouse under the grill.

Season and eat immediately while holding your nose.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Mice mock simple traps

...Designed by experienced professionals!
We have been in the business of making and designing record setting mousetrap powered vehicles longer than anyone else, and mousetrap powered projects is what we do best! Unlike the rest, our on staff team of engineers is continuously experimenting with new designs and products so you can feel safe in knowing that you will always be getting the best performance products available. Each of our kits has been engineered and designed for success through an extremely long and involved process that has been proven to produce products that are years ahead of the rest. [continued]

http://www.mousetrap-cars.com/mousetrap/s350df.htm
[I was looking for "sticky wheels". :rofl:]

 

[Entropy]

Patent # 4,669,216.X

Titanium mouse vest and helmet to protect innocent mice from being harpooned through the chest. :grumpy: Guess I'm the only one who's had rodents for pets.

 

[Artman]

Patent # 4,669,216.Y

Titanium mouse vest piercing harpoon.

Sorry Entropy

 

[Evo]

Patent # 4,669,216.Y
Titanium mouse vest piercing harpoon.
Sorry Entropy

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Patent # 4,669,216.Z

Now from the makers of Cheese Whiz - Mouse Whiz. It goes great on crackers.

 

[Artman]

Patent # 4,669,216.Z
Now from the makers of Cheese Whiz - Mouse Whiz. It goes great on crackers.

And you can even use the harpoons as toothpicks for making horderves!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

And you can even use the harpoons as toothpicks for making horderves!

Proper disposal of the harpoons is critical - the depleted uranium core.

 

[Moonbear]

Patent # 4,669,216.Y
Titanium mouse vest piercing harpoon.
Sorry Entropy

Ooh, that might come in handy for my hobby (see my location ).

 

[Ouabache]

With all the tongue-in-cheek silliness, I had to check this out myself.. Sure enough U.S. Patent
4,669,216 "Apparatus for trapping and disposing of rodents" with harpoons and all, issued in 1987.

which is not far from Patent 4,953,320 A cockroach trap that cooks its captives.

or Patent 5,953,853 A rodent trap: once animal is captured, electrocutes the little fellow.

 

[matthew baird]

http://www.mousetrap-cars.com/mousetrap/s350df.htm
[I was looking for "sticky wheels". :rofl:]

Reports of mice revolts have been coming in, almost daily, explaining unimaginable events. The website mousetrap-cars.com has been very successful since their conception selling mouse trap propelled cars as fast as they can make them. The mice have been using the vehicles to play pranks on the humans who invade their territory. As soon as the humans fall asleep, the mice set up booby traps around the house using their mousetrap powered cars. Then they watch patiently, waiting for the "innocent" humans to fall right into their trap. One incident from Kansas reported that a man broke his neck from falling down the stairs because of one of these so called traps.

Awesome thread by the way!

 

[JamesU]

:rofl: I love this thread, I haven't seen it in over a year

 

[Evo]

Yeah, if this doesn't win zooby the "funniest Member" award, I don't know what will.