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This is a little late, but who could have guessed how upset people could get over a Father's Day speech - especially divorced fathers.
Comments such as these pretty much reinforce the stereotype that mothers deserve custody of the children after a divorce and the proper father's role is to quit beating his wife and to be sure to make his child support payments on time.
Courts are a lot better at respecting fathers' rights than they were 14 years ago, but there is still a bias in the courts towards women when it comes to awarding custody and an even larger bias in perceptions about what to expect from the court.
At least now, the default starting assumption is shared custody, even if it's not hard for the mother to get the final decision tilted her direction. And, at least it's a lot harder for the custodial parent (usually the mother) to move the kids across the country, denying other routine access to their kids.
I'd say the bias now is against whichever spouse devotes more of their time earning a living (especially against a spouse that earns a living defending their country or community - military jobs, police jobs, etc are a huge disadvantage when it comes to getting custody of the kids). The bias against fathers occurs because fathers still usually fulfill the role of primary wage earner in our culture.
But however biased the current court system may be against men, even it seems to show more respect towards fathers than Obama's Father's Day speech did. Obama's message seemed to be "men are scum" and we need to change that.
Comments such as these pretty much reinforce the stereotype that mothers deserve custody of the children after a divorce and the proper father's role is to quit beating his wife and to be sure to make his child support payments on time.
We need to help all the mothers out there who are raising these kids by themselves; the mothers who drop them off at school, go to work, pick up them up in the afternoon, work another shift, get dinner, make lunches, pay the bills, fix the house, and all the other things it takes both parents to do. So many of these women are doing a heroic job, but they need support. They need another parent. Their children need another parent. That's what keeps their foundation strong. It's what keeps the foundation of our country strong.
Still, I know the toll that being a single parent took on my mother - how she struggled at times to the pay bills; to give us the things that other kids had; to play all the roles that both parents are supposed to play. And I know the toll it took on me.
But our young boys and girls see that. They see when you are ignoring or mistreating your wife. They see when you are inconsiderate at home; or when you are distant; or when you are thinking only of yourself.
We should be making it easier for fathers who make responsible choices and harder for those who avoid them. We should get rid of the financial penalties we impose on married couples right now, and start making sure that every dime of child support goes directly to helping children instead of some bureaucrat. We should reward fathers who pay that child support with job training and job opportunities and a larger Earned Income Tax Credit that can help them pay the bills.
Courts are a lot better at respecting fathers' rights than they were 14 years ago, but there is still a bias in the courts towards women when it comes to awarding custody and an even larger bias in perceptions about what to expect from the court.
At least now, the default starting assumption is shared custody, even if it's not hard for the mother to get the final decision tilted her direction. And, at least it's a lot harder for the custodial parent (usually the mother) to move the kids across the country, denying other routine access to their kids.
I'd say the bias now is against whichever spouse devotes more of their time earning a living (especially against a spouse that earns a living defending their country or community - military jobs, police jobs, etc are a huge disadvantage when it comes to getting custody of the kids). The bias against fathers occurs because fathers still usually fulfill the role of primary wage earner in our culture.
But however biased the current court system may be against men, even it seems to show more respect towards fathers than Obama's Father's Day speech did. Obama's message seemed to be "men are scum" and we need to change that.