Torn between leaving and staying

  • Thread starter KSmi
  • Start date
In summary, the conversation involves a person who is concerned about their boyfriend's possible OCD and BPD. The boyfriend's behavior has changed and includes anger issues, impulsivity, and verbal abuse. The person is considering leaving the relationship but wants to remain friends and is unsure how to suggest seeking a diagnosis without offending the boyfriend. They also mention wanting information on insurance coverage for therapy. Some other users offer advice and caution about being in a potentially unsafe situation. The conversation ends with the realization that the original poster is actually a spammer.
  • #1
KSmi
Hi!

You can call me KSmi. As the subject says I think my boyfriend has OCD and BPD. We've been together for almost a year. He used to be really fun and sweet when we were just dating. However, things changed when we started exclusively dating. Apparently, he has anger issues and a feisty temper. He is also impulsive. He gets really worked up when he drives recklessly. He also has a tendency to "verbally abuse" me and/or the people around us.

I have honestly been thinking about leaving him. His OC behaviour is tiring me out sad to say. I'd like for us to remain as friends, but I am not entirely sure that is possible. The thing is, I guess it would be best if we have him diagnosed for bpd first. Is there a way I could ask him to do it without sounding offensive?

Also, would insurance cover therapist consultations? Was thinking of contacting insurance companies from this directory, link deleted by Borek , but I am not familiar with them. So if you also have some advise re BPD and insurance I'd love to learn more about it, too!

Thanks!
 
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  • #2
People like that only seem fun and interesting for first few days, honey, break up! :wink:

(I just wanted to use word honey as it fits perfect :biggrin:)

Your last few lines are full of spamish words! You might want to remove the link to be considered seriously.
 
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  • #3
Nope, no advice on insurance or BPD. Just want to say agree with rootX. You should tell him you're not happy with him and that he should see a therapist, else the relationship isn't going to work. You shouldn't be in a car with someone who drives recklessly and you shouldn't be with someone who can't control their abusiveness either.
 
  • #4
edit:

What I meant to say, per Borek's excellent point, is: Kiss my grits.
 
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  • #5
KSmi said:
Apparently, he has anger issues and a feisty temper. He is also impulsive. He gets really worked up when he drives recklessly. He also has a tendency to "verbally abuse" me and/or the people around us.

I have honestly been thinking about leaving him. His OC behaviour is tiring me out sad to say. I'd like for us to remain as friends, but I am not entirely sure that is possible. The thing is, I guess it would be best if we have him diagnosed for bpd first. Is there a way I could ask him to do it without sounding offensive?

It's hard when those around you (and those you are close to) suffer from mental illness (or develop it). At this point you need to insure your safety first (I say this because verbal abuse can lead to other forms of abuse, and if you're in the car when he is having an episode, it also is unsafe for you).

Unfortunately, I have no advise on how to get him to seek treatment. Maybe a group intervention can help, so not all blame will be placed on you?
 
  • #6
You do understand you are talking to a spammer, who started the thread just to post a link, and never came back?

See this if you doubt.
 
  • #7
Borek said:
You do understand you are talking to a spammer, who started the thread just to post a link, and never came back?

See this if you doubt.

Ugh... I don't doubt you.
 
  • #8
are you happy? you should be.
 

1. What are the common reasons for feeling torn between leaving and staying?

There can be a variety of reasons for feeling torn between leaving and staying. Some common ones include dissatisfaction with current job or living situation, fear of change, conflicting emotions towards loved ones, and financial concerns.

2. How can I make a decision between leaving and staying?

Consider weighing the pros and cons of each option, seeking advice from trusted individuals, and evaluating your personal values and priorities. It may also be helpful to envision potential outcomes for both choices.

3. Is it normal to feel torn between leaving and staying?

Yes, it is completely normal to feel conflicted when facing a major decision. It is important to give yourself time to process your thoughts and emotions and not rush into a decision.

4. What are the potential consequences of leaving or staying?

The consequences of leaving or staying will differ for each individual and situation. It is important to consider the short-term and long-term effects on yourself and those around you. Seeking advice from others and weighing your options can help determine potential consequences.

5. How can I cope with the stress of being torn between leaving and staying?

It is important to take care of yourself during this difficult decision-making process. Practice self-care, seek support from friends and family, and consider therapy or counseling to help manage stress and emotions. Remind yourself that it is okay to take time to make a decision and that you are not alone in feeling torn.

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