Unlock Pet Separation Anxiety with "Puppy Prozac"

[Ivan Seeking]

More than 10 million dogs across the country deal with pet separation anxiety — barking, whining and showing signs of stress when their owners leave the house.

But a pill dubbed "puppy Prozac" promises to change that. [continued]

http://www.abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3063558&page=1

[ Jill is visiting Joy, whose dog is lying like a lox on the living room floor. Joy throws a ball at the dog, but he just stares at it as it rolls by. ]

Joy: Gee, Sparky's been acting dull and listless lately. I just don't know what's wrong with him.

Jill: My dog Skippy used to be like that.. until I found out about.. [ reaches for box and pulls out a puppy upper ] ..Puppy Uppers. Puppy Uppers pep up your pooch, plus, they help control his weight.

[ Joy feeds Puppy Upper to Sparky ]

[ ripple dissolve to Sparky rolling over, doing back flips, leaping about, and acting speedy ]

[ SUPER: "Later That Day" ]

[ close-up of Sparky jumping up on Joy ]

Joy: Maybe it's me, Jill, but I'd say Sparky's perked up a little too much.

Jill: No argument there, Joy. When my Skippy gets too frisky, what I do is give him these.. Doggie Downers.

[ Jill holds up a box of Doggie Downers, then hands it to Joy, who is still being bothered by the frisky Sparky ]

Joy: [ reading label ] Doggie Downers.. mellows out your mutt. Hmm.. I'll try them. [ feeds Sparky a Doggie Downer; he collapses ]

[ SUPER: "Later That Day" ]

[ ripple dissolve to Sparky lying like a lox on the living room floor, box of Doggie Downers in the shot ]

Jill: That's Puppy uppers for when your dog's like this. And.. [cut to replay of shot with sparky jumping on Joy, box of Puppy Uppers in the shot ] ..Doggie Downers, for when your dog's like this. From Hound-Doze.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76gpuppyuppers.phtml
Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 7
76g: Dick Cavett / Ry Cooder
Puppy Uppers/Doggie Downers
Joy...Gilda Radner
Jill...Laraine Newman

 

[franznietzsche]

So...caffeine and valium marketed to dog owners? Meh. Lorezapam is fun stuff though. Does funny things to me.

 

[Architeuthis Dux]

[ open on interior, living room, with Joy sitting on the couch, looking bored ]

Joy: Gee, Sparky's been acting dull and listless lately. I just don't know what's wrong with him.

Jill: My dog Skippy used to be like that.. until I found out about.. [ reaches for box and pulls out a bottle of pills ] ..Puppy Uppers. These pills are supposed to pep up your pooch and help control their weight.

[ Joy looks intrigued and takes the bottle from Jill ]

Joy: Hmm, that sounds like it could be helpful. How do they work?

Jill: It's a simple pill that you give to your dog. It contains certain ingredients that are known to increase energy and alertness in dogs. My Skippy was like a whole new dog after taking these.

[ Joy feeds a pill to Sparky ]

[ cut to later that day, with Sparky jumping all over Joy ]

Joy: Wow, these really do work! But maybe a little too well...

Jill: Yeah, sometimes my Skippy gets a little too frisky after taking these. That's why I always have these Doggie Downers on hand. [ holds up another bottle of pills ] These help to calm your dog down and relax them.

[ Joy takes the bottle and feeds a pill to Sparky ]

[ cut to later that day, with Sparky lying on the floor, looking relaxed ]

Jill: See? It's the perfect balance. Puppy Uppers for when they need a boost of energy, and Doggie Downers for when they need to calm down.

[ Joy looks pleased and holds up both bottles ]

Joy: Thank you, Jill! I think these will be a big help with Sparky.

[ SUPER: "Hound-Doze: The Perfect Solution for Your Dog's Energy Levels" ]

Jill: No problem, Joy. Just remember, always use these pills responsibly and follow the recommended dosages.

[ cut to product shot with both bottles ]

Jill: From Hound-Doze. Because every dog deserves to feel their best.

[ fade out ]