Men: How Would You React to Being Contacted Out of the Blue?

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The discussion centers around the reactions of individuals when contacted unexpectedly by a woman expressing admiration for them. Initial responses include feelings of flattery mixed with suspicion, particularly regarding how the woman obtained their email address. Public figures note they often receive such messages, which can feel overwhelming or even creepy, depending on the approach and content of the email. Many participants agree that the context and tone of the message significantly influence their reactions; a well-crafted email referencing shared interests or work is more likely to be welcomed than a vague compliment. Some express that if they were single, they might be more open to engaging, while others emphasize discomfort, especially if the message is overly focused on physical attraction. The conversation also touches on the challenges of online communication, where initial impressions can be easily misinterpreted. Ultimately, there is a consensus that while such outreach can be flattering, it often requires careful consideration of how to approach the recipient to avoid coming off as strange or overly forward.

How would you feel about a woman e-mailing you with no prior contact?

  • She must be crazy

    Votes: 10 18.5%

  • I would be flattered

    Votes: 21 38.9%

  • Depends on what she looks like

    Votes: 11 20.4%

  • Depends on her personality

    Votes: 12 22.2%
  • Total voters
    54
  • #31
SpaceTiger said:
The Evo I know isn't strange and unsettling.
Awww, thanks ST. :smile:

A legend, huh? It's true, I am pretty wicked at the turntable.
I expect to be watching NOVA one day and they'll be talking with "the world famous Astrophysicist SpaceTiger".

Oooh, maybe you can write to this guy and tell him there is a woman at a forum you belong to that you don't consider strange or unsettling that would like to get to know him. How could he not listen to a Princeton Astrophysicist? Ah yes, instant credibility, that's what I need. :biggrin:
 
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  • #32
evo--are you worried about having the 'upper hand' or, at least, a card in play?----well, don't----(so far) you seem like a likable person

-------------------------

and maybe more than you think (on those 'other' levels)

--------------------------

(and he could be married)
 
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  • #33
Depends what them e-mail is!
 
  • #34
rewebster said:
you seem like a likable person
I am very likeable, I keep telling my best friend that and he doesn't believe me.

(and he could be married)
:cry:
 
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  • #35
Originally Posted by Evo
But I "am" really strange and unsettling.

Hmm. I find that hard to believe. Maybe you're trying to use that as an explanation for something else. Dunno. Duzzentmatter.

Because I've pretty much kill-filtered the whole wide world, I've never gotten email like that. However, I'm with Astronuc - I'd be uncomfortable and slightly flattered, I guess, since I'm probably close to the oldest fart on PF. :rickety bones:
 
  • #36
If he ever finds this thread, he might think you're creepy...

Maybe I should send him the link...
 
  • #37
Evo said:
I am very likeable, I keep telling my best friend that and he doesn't believe me.

:cry:

HEY---until you find out --you're living in a fantasy world!



...(just like those write/believe in MWI)

-------------------

(wait...isn't that what he writes about?)
 
  • #38
jim mcnamara said:
Hmm. I find that hard to believe. Maybe you're trying to use that as an explanation for something else. Dunno. Duzzentmatter.
I was always an odd child, I wouldn't play with other children because they were too immature, I would make slides for my microscope and read anything I could get my hands on. I had an insatiable thirst for knowledge.

Because I've pretty much kill-filtered the whole wide world, I've never gotten email like that. However, I'm with Astronuc - I'd be uncomfortable and slightly flattered, I guess, since I'm probably close to the oldest fart on PF. :rickety bones:
I'm older than dirt. So, if I were to send you an unsolicited PM, it would make you uncomfortable? Oh wait, I'm not a complete stranger to you.

NeoDevin said:
If he ever finds this thread, he might think you're creepy...

Maybe I should send him the link...
:devil: I can ban you, you know...

And this thread isn't creepy. :rolleyes:
 
  • #39
Evo said:
And this thread isn't creepy. :rolleyes:

yeah, you're right there...




(I can find creepier ones)

edit: (forgot the 'I' in 'creeper')
 
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  • #40
rewebster said:
HEY---until you find out --you're living in a fantasy world!



...(just like those write/believe in MWI)

-------------------

(wait...isn't that what he writes about?)
Yep, however, the first time I saw him was in a documentary about Mallett's time travel theory.
 
  • #41
rewebster said:
yeah, you're right there...




(I can find creeper ones)
Hey a thread about social interaction in today's electronically connected world is...nevermind.
 
  • #42
Evo said:
Hey a thread about social interaction in today's electronically connected world is...nevermind.

OK...now, use that 'sense of humor' with him in your first email
 
  • #43
You know, he's clearly a public figure, it is trivial to come up with a premise for contacting him to discuss something in his works. That's not creepy and will surely be welcomed. After he's gotten to know you, then you can work in the fascinating and handsome part.
 
  • #44
Evo said:
I'm older than dirt.
No, you're not.

Even if I was single, I'd be uncomfortable with any woman contacting me by email with the emphasis on me being 'hot', 'cute', 'attractive', 'handsome', or whatever. In fact, if a strange woman contacted me becasue she thought I was hot, it would turn me off right away.

If a strange woman contacted me about work or anything I wrote and wanted to discuss some aspect of the work or writing, then I'd be interested in a discussion. And assuming I was single and had no other interested, I might be interested in a closer relationship, but the would depend on a lot of factors.
 
  • #45
DaveC426913 said:
You know, he's clearly a public figure, it is trivial to come up with a premise for contacting him to discuss something in his works. That's not creepy and will surely be welcomed. After he's gotten to know you, then you can work in the fascinating and handsome part.
Exactly.
 
  • #46
DaveC426913 said:
You know, he's clearly a public figure, it is trivial to come up with a premise for contacting him to discuss something in his works. That's not creepy and will surely be welcomed. After he's gotten to know you, then you can work in the fascinating and handsome part.
Discuss his work? I can barely understand on the most basic level what he does. I find it very interesting but I don't pretend to be able to grasp it. Quantum computing is just mind blowing.

So, considering that I am intellectually at slug level compared to him, what would you suggest? Remember, I'm a very likeable slug.
 
  • #47
I would suggest sneaking into his bedroom, and hide naked in his bed (assuming of course, there isn't someone already there waiting for him)
 
  • #48
NeoDevin said:
I would suggest sneaking into his bedroom, and hide naked in his bed (assuming of course, there isn't someone already there waiting for him)

what man (he) couldn't resist



(hopefully the other 'someone' isn't a man)
 
  • #49
Sounds like someone has a major crush. How inconvenient. Evo and hotguy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! :biggrin:
 
  • #50
NeoDevin said:
I would suggest sneaking into his bedroom, and hide naked in his bed (assuming of course, there isn't someone already there waiting for him)
So, this would assure him that I am less crazy than if I e-mailed him?
 
  • #51
No, but it might get his attention better...
 
  • #52
Thrice said:
Sounds like someone has a major crush.
Pathetic, isn't it? I blame it on the fact that I am delirious from pain.
 
  • #53
HEY--theoritician, I mean Kung Pao, wait... Evo...

just emailed him...you can carry on a conversation for weeks/months (from what I've seen)--before he finds out about the 'real' you (and he still may chat)
 
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  • #54
rewebster said:
just emailed him...you can carry on a conversation for weeks/months (from what I've seen)--before he finds out about the 'real' you (and he still may chat)
You didn't? I can delete everything. :devil:
 
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  • #55
(well, I didn't---but, did it raise your endorphin levels up?)

-----------------

(I won't have to----he'll do a 'search' for his 'name', see 'physicsforum', and open up the thread)

------------------

(he's probably 'registering' as we speak)
 
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  • #56
rewebster said:
(well, I didn't---but, did it raise your endorphin levels up?)
I'll tell you after I stop hyperventilating.
 
  • #57
rewebster said:
(I won't have to----he'll do a 'search' for his 'name', see 'physicsforum', and open up the thread)
Nope, I checked and he has so much written about him that PF posts about him don't show up for several pages. :approve: My secret crush will remain secret. Heaven forbid he ever sees this. :redface:

This reminds me of years ago when I was on CU Seeme and I found out that an entire webpage had been dedicated to me. It was full of screen caps of me. There were some poems dedicated to me that other people had posted on CU that this person added to the site. It was a bit weird, but quite a compliment.
 
  • #58
shoot--evo---I REALLY, really don't know how long you've been drooling over this guy--but you must have mentioned him in other threads--so... IF he saw those 'other threads'---he'll see this one too.

--------------------------------

OK---MEN OF THE FORUM!---when was the last time that evo admitted to hyperventilating?
 
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  • #59
Evo said:
Nope, I checked and he has so much written about him that PF posts about him don't show up for several pages. :approve: My secret crush will remain secret. Heaven forbid he ever sees this. :redface:

This reminds me of years ago when I was on CU Seeme and I found out that an entire webpage had been dedicated to me. It was full of screen caps of me. There were some poems dedicated to me that other people had posted on CU that this person added to the site. It was a bit weird, but quite a compliment.

Tell him that you're doing a research on how would handsome and fascinating guys feel about a woman who contact them out of the blue...and now you want to have his idea as well!:-p
 
  • #60
Evo said:
Nope, I checked and he has so much written about him that PF posts about him don't show up for several pages. :approve: My secret crush will remain secret. Heaven forbid he ever sees this. :redface:
Oh it's only a matter of time before one of us decides to act .. precipitously. It took me only a few minutes to find his name. Luckily I happen to find the situation quite hilarious as it is (for now).

(as it's said in chess, the threat is more powerful than the execution :biggrin:)
 
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