Men: How Would You React to Being Contacted Out of the Blue?

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AI Thread Summary
The discussion centers around the reactions of individuals when contacted unexpectedly by a woman expressing admiration for them. Initial responses include feelings of flattery mixed with suspicion, particularly regarding how the woman obtained their email address. Public figures note they often receive such messages, which can feel overwhelming or even creepy, depending on the approach and content of the email. Many participants agree that the context and tone of the message significantly influence their reactions; a well-crafted email referencing shared interests or work is more likely to be welcomed than a vague compliment. Some express that if they were single, they might be more open to engaging, while others emphasize discomfort, especially if the message is overly focused on physical attraction. The conversation also touches on the challenges of online communication, where initial impressions can be easily misinterpreted. Ultimately, there is a consensus that while such outreach can be flattering, it often requires careful consideration of how to approach the recipient to avoid coming off as strange or overly forward.

How would you feel about a woman e-mailing you with no prior contact?

  • She must be crazy

    Votes: 10 18.5%

  • I would be flattered

    Votes: 21 38.9%

  • Depends on what she looks like

    Votes: 11 20.4%

  • Depends on her personality

    Votes: 12 22.2%
  • Total voters
    54
  • #101
rewebster said:
all ----five



you'll find out right away that way if he's married

I like #4 (except the van seat in the living room should have been color co-ordinated for the rug color just a hair better maybe)
That was my older daughter's apartment and she was moving, so things were strewn everywhere.
 
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  • #102
A sling may be just what David needs.
 
  • #103
Evo said:
Now that might be fun.

AND THE WINNER OF THE CONTEST GETS...









to be the one to email for Evo the email to "what's his face" because Evo is hesitating

-----------------------------------------

do you have any 'good' photos NOT at the computer?
 
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  • #104
rewebster said:
do you have any 'good' photos NOT at the computer?
They're all taken with my webcam.

Ok, a few.
 
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  • #105
Evo said:
If I did, I guess I should send a picture. Which of these would be better? More in next post.

Hey, now, no sending pictures of your daughters instead of you. :biggrin: (You're not allowed to look that young, are you?)

I like the one where you're actually smiling. It's a pretty humorous photo, too, with you sitting there in a business suit with all that junk scattered in the background like you're sitting in a garage.

I agree that the others look sort of impatient...obviously taken by webcam, but they seem to have the look that someone snuck up and snapped a photo while you were busy staring at the computer screen waiting for an email from some guy you've never met. Hmmm...wait, that might be just the look you need so he feels guilted into writing back. :biggrin:
 
  • #106
Moonbear said:
Hey, now, no sending pictures of your daughters instead of you. :biggrin: (You're not allowed to look that young, are you?)
Wait until you draw the bags under my eyes, that would be how I look right now, more of a zombie.

I like the one where you're actually smiling. It's a pretty humorous photo, too, with you sitting there in a business suit with all that junk scattered in the background like you're sitting in a garage.
Yes, that one is funny.

I agree that the others look sort of impatient...obviously taken by webcam, but they seem to have the look that someone snuck up and snapped a photo while you were busy staring at the computer screen waiting for an email from some guy you've never met. Hmmm...wait, that might be just the look you need so he feels guilted into writing back. :biggrin:
:smile:
 
  • #107
Evo said:
They're all taken with my webcam.

Ok, a few.

Is that you in the background in the red?


(no, I don't think I'd send that one in the first email)
 
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  • #108
rewebster said:
Is that you in the background in the red?
I'm the one building the sand castle.
 
  • #109
You should send all six on land. IMHO.
 
  • #110
Me at a Cubs game. And having a few too many margaritas on the Isla Mujeres. I got really burned on the catamaran on the way to the island.
 
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  • #111
Evo said:
Smiling and with my glasses on.

The one on the right is the best one, i bet a modern camera would give an even better image of the queen of GD.
 
  • #112
those are better--but it looks like some 'other' guy is trying to sneek/squeeze himself into the photo
 
  • #113
rewebster said:
those are better--but it looks like some 'other' guy is trying to sneek/squeeze himself into the photo
Yeah, I'd photoshop them. OTOH, maybe leave them in, so it's more of a competition.
 
  • #114
wolram said:
The one on the right is the best one, i bet a modern camera would give an even better image of the queen of GD.

wolram, are you suggesting that the pictures were taken with an antique camera?:wink:

All of the pictures look great.
 
  • #115
EnumaElish said:
Yeah, I'd photoshop them. OTOH, maybe leave them in, so it's more of a competition.

I don't know about that--it looks like 'baggage' to me (and it may to him no matter how it's photoshopped)

--------------------------

(remember these are/'could be' going to "what's his face")

(and still doesn't know if he's married, single, divorced)
 
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  • #116
Evo said:
It's nice to see that the majority would not be put off by such an e-mail. I still will most likely chicken out and not contact him.

If I did, I guess I should send a picture. Which of these would be better? More in next post.

i thought these are the pics of your daughter...but when i read the post ...oopsie.moment of surprise...i read the post again in awe to confirm that:biggrin:

Now i get it what can be technically called as Evo Effecto:)
 
  • #117
I'd go with the web cam photos. They're all good, but if you had to send one I'd choose the polo neck. Then again if you send webcam pics in an e-mail to a man saying you think he's cute :rolleyes:
 
  • #118
OK--out of all of them---the one with the snorkle---it looks like a MWI
 
  • #119
I guess this was obvious, but we are slow. If the poll had just been honestly, should i email a guy I think is handsome and interesting?, we would have all said yes, but be cautious, in case he's a nutcase.
 
  • #120
evo--which one do YOU 'want' to send?
 
  • #121
Probably the one in my daughter's messy apartment. It's from last year. I do like the one in the white turtleneck, but that's my "I'm dying from allergies" picture.

mathwonk said:
I guess this was obvious, but we are slow. If the poll had just been honestly, should i email a guy I think is handsome and interesting?, we would have all said yes, but be cautious, in case he's a nutcase.
Well, if he likes me he'll have to be at least a little crazy.
 
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  • #122
Evo said:
Probably the one in my daughter's messy apartment. It's from last year. I do like the onbe in the white turtleneck, but that's my "I'm dying from allergies" picture.

Well, if he likes me he'll have to be at least a little crazy.

he writes about MWI, doesn't he?
 
  • #123
The generation gap must be showing again, because if a person I did not know sent me her picture I'd be freaked out.
 
  • #124
SticksandStones said:
The generation gap must be showing again, because if a person I did not know sent me her picture I'd be freaked out.
So, you think it's more acceptable to older people than to young people?

Of course young people have facebook and myspace, and many other similar online places where they can harmlessly contact each other. Us "old" folks are left to our own devices.

Everyone my age at work is married, gay or young Earth creationists. I'm too old to be cruising bars. I'm too young to be put in a retirement home.

I can sit at home and twiddle my thumbs, or take a chance.
 
  • #125
Evo said:
So, you think it's more acceptable to older people than to young people?

Of course young people have facebook and myspace, and many other similar online places where they can harmlessly contact each other. Us "old" folks are left to our own devices.

Everyone my age at work is married, gay or young Earth creationists. I'm too old to be cruising bars. I'm too young to be put in a retirement home.

I can sit at home and twiddle my thumbs, or take a chance.


What can not understand is why there are not a million guys queuing at your door to be your partner, are Americans blind, death and dumb? or are you a beauty in an ivory tower
unwilling to lower your hair.
 
  • #126
wolram said:
What can not understand is why there are not a million guys queuing at your door to be your partner, are Americans blind, death and dumb? or are you a beauty in an ivory tower
unwilling to lower your hair.
It's not a lack of men, it's the lack of men that would be suitable. Kansas just isn't teaming with single, quality, non-religious fanatic men in my age bracket that aren't carrying around a ton of emotional baggage. I feel like locally, I'd be picking from the dating dumpster.
 
  • #127
Evo said:
It's not a lack of men, it's the lack of men that would be suitable. Kansas just isn't teaming with single, quality, non-religious fanatic men in my age bracket that aren't carrying around a ton of emotional baggage. I feel like locally, I'd be picking from the dating dumpster.

Well if you have no luck in kansas move to Warwickshire England ,there is one semi literate non religious bag ageless person i know who would look after you well.
 
  • #128
Evo said:
So, you think it's more acceptable to older people than to young people?

Of course young people have facebook and myspace, and many other similar online places where they can harmlessly contact each other. Us "old" folks are left to our own devices.

Everyone my age at work is married, gay or young Earth creationists. I'm too old to be cruising bars. I'm too young to be put in a retirement home.

I can sit at home and twiddle my thumbs, or take a chance.

I have a myspace and, having listed myself as single and straight, I get friend's requests from random, strange, single, middle aged women fairly often. The main problem is that they are located in Texas, or Florida, or Wisconsin, or Michigan. I've come to realize from experience that none of these women actually want a real, in person, relationship, which is why they send out feelers to guys who are impossibly far away to begin with. I don't get friend's requests from women within 500 miles. They just want the illusion that a romance might still be possible.
 
  • #129
zoobyshoe said:
I have a myspace and, having listed myself as single and straight, I get friend's requests from random, strange, single, middle aged women fairly often. The main problem is that they are located in Texas, or Florida, or Wisconsin, or Michigan. I've come to realize from experience that none of these women actually want a real, in person, relationship, which is why they send out feelers to guys who are impossibly far away to begin with. I don't get friend's requests from women within 500 miles. They just want the illusion that a romance might still be possible.

So your days have come..Zoobyshoe haunted by lotsa women..Most Eligible BF in town:!) [he he]

I think you don't need to feel special about this :biggrin: these women might be sending friend requests pretty much to every able gentleman they can get hands on...females when nurtured with so much of attention in their teens when don't get enough attention during their middle age period.. i guess ..they resort to activities like this...

and regarding location why don't you update your location to some other place..i think your point is valid because i guess females like to keep distances until they are not sure about whether they have met Mr Right..so request from a female from neighbourhood can complicate..i don't know...
 
  • #130
Evo said:
How would you feel about being contacted out of the blue by a female that thought you were fascinating and handsome?

Would you think she was crazy or would you be interested?

Aww, evo, I would be TOTALLY flattered if I thought you were interested in me :)
Although, it would touch my heart more if I was approached in person instead of the dull and lifeless email!

It's not a lack of men, it's the lack of men that would be suitable. Kansas just isn't teaming with single, quality, non-religious fanatic men in my age bracket that aren't carrying around a ton of emotional baggage. I feel like locally, I'd be picking from the dating dumpster.

Just when I was starting to feel flattered :(

p.s. is it Deutsch?
 
  • #131
Yes flattered is of German origin :wink:
 
  • #132
Astronuc said:
Why? That would seem to unnecessarily limit one's opportunities.

I met a Brit earlier this year who met a Canadian woman online. They hit if off. He visited Canada. They are now married and living in the UK.

If one was living in Toronto or Halifax, and discovered someone in Vancouver, or vice versa, or in NY/LA, and they hit if off, it's no different than living in the US and finding someone in Europe, Asia, S. America or Africa. The internet has enabled a global reach with a short cycle time.

I have a number of friends overseas and correspond with them as I do friends in the US. It would be just as easy for me to visit friends in Europe as it would be to visit friends scattered around the US.

I couldn't date someone that was so distant. I know you can meet more and more people online, but you can also do that in person too. I met lots of people during school before my 4th year. Again, you meet more people in school, but in my 4th (which is now) the number of people I met is more than I have in the first 3-4 years of school because I changed my lifestyle!

I figured if we live a lifestyle of taking part in events, clubs and a bunch of social gatherings, that we should be able to meet someone fantastic! Considering the fact that most of us live in cities that have a population above 100 000.

If you don't have time to take part in events and such, I find it hard to believe that you'll find time for a relationship to begin with.
 
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  • #133
rewebster said:
he writes about MWI, doesn't he?
:smile:
 
  • #134
wolram said:
Well if you have no luck in kansas move to Warwickshire England ,there is one semi literate non religious bag ageless person i know who would look after you well.
:smile: Be careful what you wish for.
 
  • #135
RetardedBastard said:
Aww, evo, I would be TOTALLY flattered if I thought you were interested in me :)
Although, it would touch my heart more if I was approached in person instead of the dull and lifeless email!



Just when I was starting to feel flattered :(
I thought you were 18.

p.s. is it Deutsch?
Yes, when I decide to consider the unobtainable, I go all out.

Geeze, does no one here not know someone that knows someone that knows his housekeeper's grandson's best friend from high school whose third cousin Vinny served time with the uncle of the guy that sold him a pair of shoes once?

This is a physics forum, surely someone knows someone that knows him. :frown:

Heck, I'm best friends with one of the academy award winning directors of the three Lord of the Rings films. What are the odds of that? And no one here knows Deutsch?
 
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  • #136
Evo said:
I thought you were 18.
LOL! Nahhh. What made you think that?

Yes, when I decide to consider the unobtainable, I go all out.
Hey if it helps, just consider that in one of the many-world states, he could ALREADY be your boyfriend :)

Geeze, does no one here not know someone that knows someone that knows his housekeeper's grandson's best friend from high school whose third cousin Vinny served time with the uncle of the guy that sold him a pair of shoes once?

This is a physics forum, surely someone knows someone that knows him. :frown:

Heck, I'm best friends with one of the academy award winning directors of the three Lord of the Rings films. What are the odds of that? And no one here knows Deutsch?

I know his lab assistant, I just don't want to introduce him to some random crazy stalker chick. (just kidding)

p.s. Definitely post any email you plan to send him here first so we can analyze it first.
 
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  • #137
RetardedBastard said:
LOL! Nahhh. What made you think that?
It's not like it matters anyway. From what I remember of being an 18 yr old, I'm fairly sure most of them would be flattered too. Try blind/dead :p
 
  • #138
Is this the guy?

mb.deutsch1024.jpg


I think you can do better Evo.
 
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  • #139
Evo said:
Yes, when I decide to consider the unobtainable, I go all out.
I think you should not molest this person. Go be with Wolram: he will cherish you like no one else on earth.
 
  • #140
zoobyshoe said:
I think you should not molest this person. Go be with Wolram: he will cherish you like no one else on earth.

Man, I wish a nice woman had a crush on me :(
 
  • #141
Gale said:
Is this the guy?

mb.deutsch1024.jpg


I think you can do better Evo.
Better? I think not. He seems to be a very nice person. He's obviously intelligent, and he's exactly my type physically. Of course I really know nothing about him personally, that's what makes it a bit weird, IMO. But it's better than just seeing someone in real life and feeling attracted enough to approach them, I have the advantage of knowing a bit about him.
 
  • #142
zoobyshoe said:
I think you should not molest this person. Go be with Wolram: he will cherish you like no one else on earth.
I'm afraid you're not safe either zoob.
 
  • #143
RetardedBastard said:
LOL! Nahhh. What made you think that?
You just seem young at heart and your name would be one that a younger person would more likely select.

Hey if it helps, just consider that in one of the many-world states, he could ALREADY be your boyfriend :)
<sigh> That always happens. :frown:

I know his lab assistant,
JACKPOT! Is he married? Deustch, not the assistant.

I just don't want to introduce him to some random crazy stalker chick. (just kidding)
I can get affidavits from some notable people. :rolleyes:

p.s. Definitely post any email you plan to send him here first so we can analyze it first.
Ugh, I have no idea what I would write. "Hi, this will probably be the strangest e-mail you'll ever get..." Should I use lots of smilies in my e-mail? :biggrin:
 
  • #144
if he was going 'with' someone, would you 'try' to break it up?
 
  • #145
Evo said:
JACKPOT! Is he married? Deustch, not the assistant.

He doesn't appear to be wearing a ring in the picture. But of course he could be married and not wear a ring or be in a long term relationship. I do not know.
 
  • #146
Kurdt said:
He doesn't appear to be wearing a ring in the picture. But of course he could be married and not wear a ring or be in a long term relationship. I do not know.

Or he's one of those people who wears the ring on the right hand instead of left. Maybe that's why he's keeping a glove on his right hand, so you can't see the ring? If he would just comb his hair or get a haircut, he'd probably look a whole lot better. Unkempt hair can really distract from someone's looks.
 
  • #147
rewebster said:
if he was going 'with' someone, would you 'try' to break it up?
No, I wouldn't even consider something like that.

But we're kind of jumping the gun here since I don't even know if he'd be interested in talking to me. I'm betting he wouldn't see the point in doing so.
 
  • #148
I don't think I am----(didn't 'you' look just about as 'happy' on those (cropped) photos as he does there) ---its just a 'possibility'

I was thinking that no one knows anything about his 'life' (love life)--no photo of his wife (or ex-wives), no social gossip of and with women (usually that's from women)---no men have answered you for help contacting him (maybe they're hesitant for some reason)

I don't think I'm insinuating (maybe just observing the possibility of the 'collapse of the wave function')
 
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  • #149
The only thing I've read about him is that he's reclusive. He seems to be a very private person, which leads me to believe that I really have no chance.

But when you see him giving lectures or speeches, he's very animated and humorous.

Take this speech, for example http://www.ted.com/index.php/speakers/view/id/48

Click on "David Deutsch on our place in the cosmos" at the top left.
 
  • #150
Moonbear said:
If he would just comb his hair or get a haircut, he'd probably look a whole lot better. Unkempt hair can really distract from someone's looks.
NOOOO! If you remember the description of my dream man - skinny, glasses, tousled hair, his hair is one of the features I find attractive, I don't care for short, styled hair. A bit long and unruly is hot.

:approve:
 
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