100% genuine tech support chat session with Linksys

[Curious3141]

>[00:00:00] Hi, my name is Ma Rowena (11827). How may I help you?
>[00:01:03] Jim: Okay, I'm not too sure how to explain this situation... to put it lightly, melted cheese is all over my router.
>[00:01:17] Ma Rowena (11827): Okay.
>[00:01:38] Jim: Now, It seemed to function quite well until the dog realized this...
>[00:02:04] Ma Rowena (11827): Yes?
>[00:02:19] Jim: Now my router seems to be partially consumed.
>[00:02:34] Jim: How does my warrenty respond to this?
>[00:02:59] Ma Rowena (11827): What do you mean partially consumed?
>[00:03:23] Jim: My dog ate my router... most of it that is.
>[00:03:45] Ma Rowena (11827): I see.
>[00:04:20] Ma Rowena (11827): Can you hold on for 5 minutes? I'll just verify this one with my Immediate Superior.
>[00:04:51] Jim: It also smells very bad. I am in doubt of its functionality.
>[00:05:53] Jim: Also, can I get some information on what effects this may have on my dog?
>[00:06:25] Ma Rowena (11827): I'm sorry, but what do you mean?
>[00:08:05] Jim: My router was covered in melted cheese for reasons I do not care to tell. My dog saw this and decided that she likes cheese. The plastic router that the cheese covered did not seem to bother her and the has eaten a great deal of the router. I believe she was very hungry.
>[00:09:08] Ma Rowena (11827): I see.
>[00:09:38] Ma Rowena (11827): But unfortunately, in that case, the device is no longer covered by the warranty.
>[00:10:16] Jim: Hm... what if I ate the router instead of the dog. Would it be covered then?
>[00:10:39] Ma Rowena (11827): Still not covered. Since it is not the router that fails to work.
>[00:12:17] Jim: What if my dog dies? Don't you show any remorse?
>[00:12:53] Ma Rowena (11827): I'm sorry Jim, but it is no longer the fault of our device.
>[00:14:34] Jim: Why not? I believe your device should be eatable! People should have the right to eat their routers.
>[00:15:38] Jim: I'm sure D-Link is designing a router that you can eat. How do you expect to compete with that?
>[00:15:41] Ma Rowena (11827): What do you mean? Of course the router is not edible. The router is not a food, it is a networking device.
>[00:16:56] Jim: Why is that not listed on the box? Or in the instruction manual even.
>[00:17:23] Jim: Why is it not printed on the router in bold red letters "Do not eat!"
>[00:17:48] Ma Rowena (11827): Of course you cannot eat the router.
>[00:18:05] Jim: Dogs don't know that...
>[00:18:20] Jim: Especially when it is covered in cheese.
>[00:18:20] Ma Rowena (11827): But you know that. Can the dog read that?
>[00:18:42] Ma Rowena (11827): It is already not our fault why it is covered by cheese.
>[00:19:22] Jim: What about blind people? If I was a starving blind person and found a "network device" covered in cheese I would be tempted...
>[00:20:04] Ma Rowena (11827): Do you that a thing as hard as that is a food?
>[00:20:48] Jim: I'm not a very good cook, I can make jello that's harder than that.
>[00:21:42] Ma Rowena (11827): I'm sorry Jim, but I already inform you, it is not our router that fails, that is why it is not covered by the warranty. You should watch your dog then.
>[00:22:43] Ma Rowena (11827): Do you have other Linksys device I can assist you with?
>[00:23:07] Jim: What else do you guys make?
>[00:23:37] Ma Rowena (11827): We do networking devices.
>[00:23:46] Jim: Phones?
>[00:24:40] Ma Rowena (11827): May I know if you have any other concern with a Linksys device?
>[00:26:11] Jim: Let me look around my house.
>[00:26:34] Ma Rowena (11827): Okay.
>[00:27:08] Jim: Would my dog now be considered a Linksys device?
>[00:27:32] Jim: Is it going to start brodcasting wifi signals?
>[00:27:53] Ma Rowena (11827): I think you can answer your own question.
>[00:28:24] Jim: So what your saying is I can walk my dog and surf the web with my PSP at the same time?
>[00:29:16] Ma Rowena (11827): I'm sorry, but is there any other Linksys device there that you have concerns with?
>[00:29:23] Jim: I have another question.
>[00:29:41] Ma Rowena (11827): Go ahead.
>[00:30:49] Jim: If my router was defective and my dog ate it (but it still remained in the same condition) and I brought my dog to you. Would you service it?
>[00:31:45] Ma Rowena (11827): No. We need the device itself.
>[00:32:22] Jim: But that's the same as sending the device in a box.
>[00:33:08] Ma Rowena (11827): But your dog is not our product.
>[00:34:31] Jim: What if a Linksys employee ate it? Would it be your product then?
>[00:35:16] Ma Rowena O. Cabungcal: No.
>[00:36:16] Ma Rowena O. Cabungcal: I think Jim, that you don't have any other technical concern with a Linksys device.
>[00:37:27] Ma Rowena O. Cabungcal: If you have no further questions, feel free to exit this Chat Session.
>[00:38:30] Jim: Fine... half eaten routers covered in cheese sell for a lot on ebay.
>[00:39:34] Jim: I'm naming my next dog Linksys.
>[00:39:46] Ma Rowena O. Cabungcal: If you have no further technical questions, this session will expire after 5 minutes. Thank you for your cooperation!
>[00:40:55] Jim: This made me really hungry...
>[00:41:45] Jim: I guess I'll take my dog to the vet. I'm sure he will be more understanding.
>[00:42:12] Jim: Goodbye.
>[00:42:37] ***** Jim Has Disconnected
>[00:42:47] ***** Ma Rowena O. Cabungcal Has Disconnected

 

[Gokul43201]

That was really funny !

After this makes the rounds on the internet, I'd bet he does get a good price for the cheesy router portion on eBay.

 

[mattmns]

That was great.

 

[Cyrus]

Have you seen the one with onstar?

Help, I've locked myself in my car and I can't get out! Oh please, help me onstar!

http://www.collegeslackers.com/video/06/137

 

[Evo]

Uhm, ok. Not funny. I'll bet you all like Conan O'Brian. Don't you?

 

[russ_watters]

Why is Jim complaining that there is no warning label on the box? As he noted - dogs can't read.

Jim doesn't seem too bright to me...

 

[Curious3141]

Why is Jim complaining that there is no warning label on the box? As he noted - dogs can't read.

Jim doesn't seem too bright to me...

No, actually, Jim complains that the router should've had a label "DO NOT EAT" on it, claiming that that might have made a difference to the dog. But the operator is the one who rightly points out that the dog can't read (but he (Jim) can, and should in any case be responsible for keeping the dog away, label or no label).

>[00:15:41] Ma Rowena (11827): What do you mean? Of course the router is not edible. The router is not a food, it is a networking device.
>[00:16:56] Jim: Why is that not listed on the box? Or in the instruction manual even.
>[00:17:23] Jim: Why is it not printed on the router in bold red letters "Do not eat!"
>[00:17:48] Ma Rowena (11827): Of course you cannot eat the router.
>[00:18:05] Jim: Dogs don't know that...
>[00:18:20] Jim: Especially when it is covered in cheese.
>[00:18:20] Ma Rowena (11827): But you know that. Can the dog read that?

But you're right, Jim ain't too bright. I'm pretty sure he's having the operator on, though (prank call). The operator's responses are completely genuine.