Beelzebub said:
Who has more Neanderthal features - Clinton's grandma or Putin's mama?
Although the memories of Cold War slowly fade from our collective psyche, the spirit of East-West competition burns brightly underneath the civil platitudes that dominate US-Russian relations. Nowhere is it more visible than among the cinephile crowd.
The scene of competitive feature films collecting has been for the past two decades dominated by two venerable giants: Mrs Clinton and Mrs Putin.
The bloody no-holds-barred battles these women have fought over the rights to posses some of the rarest, most obscure copies of cinema history belie understanding. Hordes of mooks have died in their service stabbing each other in the backs in auction houses and flea markets, just to claim another spool of celluloid, driven by ideologically-fuelled mutual hate.
The fiercest battlefield is the rarest of birds: Neanderthal feature films.
Nobody has seen a Neanderthal filmmaker, but legends abound. Some say they control governments ruling from the shadows, others say they escaped to Mars. Others yet, that they sparkle in the sunlight.
The fact remains - their otherworldly features do surface in the shady alleys and black markets, to be then hunted by ambitious and daring collectors.
Who had the most of them stacked under their VHS and Beta-max players in their golden vaults was a secret known to very few until recently. But this changed in 2011, with Snowden and his revelations.
The score is a narrow but clear victory for the Western imperialists.
Over countless innocent lives, no doubt, Mrs Clinton has acquired three Neanderthal features: slow-mo action-packed "The clash of glaciers 3: Ultimate glaciation", culinary snuff "To serve Man", and the raunchy "Ride me like a mammoth".
Mrs Putin managed to claw her way to the eerie fantasy "To lie with the cave bear" and the horrifying "Grownups 2".
Quetion: can Peter Pan gerrymander his way to a congressional seat the upcoming midterms?
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