Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Gokul43201]

Obvious connection ? What obvious connection ? Clearly this is just a zooby trick - playing with our heads.

Am I the only one, or does everone else see some "obvious" connection between the tales ?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Obvious connection ? What obvious connection ? Clearly this is just a zooby trick - playing with our heads.

Am I the only one, or does everone else see some "obvious" connection between the tales ?

The connection is obvious: This is a case of a rogue, not-mass tenticlet of a weird purple jellyfish - a R,NMTOAWPJ.

Euphemistically known as R,NMTOAWPJ.1, ,oh my, but don't get me going...anyway...it is thought to be comprised of goo-ons and to complete the model for the newly discovered "weird" quark, as well as its counterpart the "psychotic" quark.

The model predicts that whenever not-mass encounters mass, such as with our friend from 1887 and what clearly was a R,NMTOAWPJ, a goo-hole is formed which connects 1887 to 1972. Why these two years are involved nobody knows but they always are. So, I think we can be certain that this was a case of spacetime sliming caused by a goo-hole.

What I don’t understand is the 1887 / 1972 connection. Why do goo-holes only have pustules [nodes] at these two points in slimetime?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What I don’t understand is the 1887 / 1972 connection. Why do goo-holes only have pustules [nodes] at these two points in slimetime?

Behind closed doors, and under guard, there is a team of physicists, engineers, slime/time theorists, and bakers at work trying to fathom this very quetion. The answer is tentativly believed to be mysteriously encoded somewhere in the recipe for johnycake.


In a book I have, entitled Experimental Time/Slime Demonstrations Of Chaotic Laboratory Setups For The Simian, Marsupial, and Homo Sapien Home Testing Of Goo-Hole Nodes there is described a simple, easy means for determining the johnycake constant j of any chaotic system using some common vinegar, baking soda, the kitchen stove, a straw, and a refrigerator magnet. However, it warns the stove should only be used with parental permission and supervision.

This raises the quetion: how many jellyphysics discoveries do you suppose have been lost to posterity because of physicists parents refusing them permission to use the kitchen stove?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

This raises the quetion: how many jellyphysics discoveries do you suppose have been lost to posterity because of physicists parents refusing them permission to use the kitchen stove?

In the famous Goo-Dell Incompletelness Theorem, Goo posits that johnycake conservation makes moot the famous "Kitchen Debates". This all gets down to a simple fact that we expect an equal and opposite reaction.

So, given that constant johnycakes not only ensures but is in fact a measure of the chaos of a system, isn't the johnycake really just the old hyperweirdpurplejellyfishattractor with goo added?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Why, no, Ivan, even first year jellyphysics students know that if you add goo you will also have to add the opposite of goo, else you forfeit symmetry.

Speaking of Goo, along with the direction of goo flow, what are some other mistakes first year jellyphysics students make about goo?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Why, no, Ivan, even first year jellyphysics students know that if you add goo you will also have to add the opposite of goo, else you forfeit symmetry.

Speaking of Goo, along with the direction of goo flow, what are some other mistakes first year jellyphysics students make about goo?

I would say that they falsely assume that goo-symmetry is preserved.

Why is goo-symmetry not preserved, now that is an interesting question.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Goo symmetry is only preserved in the presence of Oog particles according to Mack Swell's liquations, which states that the degradation of goo symmetry, precipitated by the abscence of oog, results in an icky liquid mess.

Why did Swell's wife leave him after only 3 months of marriage?

 

[BoulderHead]

Why did Swell's wife leave him after only 3 months of marriage?

His goo producers were unsymmetrical.





Did Mack feel Swell after being dumped by his wife?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Did Mack feel Swell after being dumped by his wife?

Matter of fact, he felt great. He'd been trying to get rid of her since the wedding night when he discovered she had a disagreeable habit of dancing around the bedroom in an unconventional, remarkable, and peculiar manner after mating.


In a book I have, entitled The Interesting, Heartwarming, Bizzarre, Iconolastic, and Porcine Life of Mack Swell it relates the poignant tale from his childhood of being ridiculed in front of all the other children for his clumsiness with math. Determined to overcome this deficiency, he selected small stones from a riverbank, put them in his mouth, and proceeded to practise reciting the times tables out loud until he could pronounce them perfectly in spite of the stones.
Since his perfected pronounciation only made the fact that he had memorized the tables incorrectly all the more clear, he had merely made himself easier to ridicule. Realizing then, it wasn't enough to pronounce them well, but that you also had to get the multiplication correct, was a stunning realization for Mack, and from there on everything fell perfectly into place, allowing for his eventual mathematical contributions to Jellyphysics, without which it would have stalled and gone nowhere.

Where, exactly, did it go?

 

[BoulderHead]

Where, exactly, did it go?

It went over to Matt the Mortician’s place where Swell had learned so much. Mack Swell went on to develop his mathematical skills so well that later Matt the Mortician, studying the liquations, could not help but be impressed…



What influence might that famous polished corn jewelry maker Kentuckian, Kernel Sander, have had on Mack Swell had it been possible for them to have known each other?

 

[Gokul43201]

Their collaboration could well have resulted in the physical realization of those currently abstract mathematical structures known as popcorn jelly.

Popcorn jelly is hypothsized to exist in packets of 10 and 20 only. These popcorn jelly, along with the quarks and goo-ons form the holy trinity of fundamental jellicles, as proposed by the famous Jellicle Jellycist, Murray Jellman.

Did you know that Chineyman had proposed the existence of popcorn jelly quite independently of Jellman (but he called them Jolly poppers) ?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I believe he actually called them Jorry Poppa, and you could get a pint of them free with Dollar Chicken at 3 a.m. at Hong's 24 Hour Dim Sum if you asked for the "special", which also included after-hours booze ("special tea") if you knew the secret code.

What was the secret code to request the "special"?

 

[Math Is Hard]

OK, I suppose I've asked a question that I can only answer, since I am privy to this information.
The answer is: you order the "johnnycakes".

If you order johnnycakes at any other restaurant, what will you get?

 

[zoobyshoe]

If you order johnnycakes at any other restaurant, what will you get?

If you are male, and the waitperson is female, you will get Johnnycakes. If you are male and the waitperson is male, you will get Johnycakes. If you are female and the waitperson is female, you will get johnycakes, but if you are female and the wait person is male you will get johhnycakes. The distinctions can be subtle.

Which brings us, logically, to General Jellitivity, a subject so massive we haven't yet had the opportunity to look at it. General Jellitivity is, of course, primarily about grabity. Grabity is that force by which all gelatinous mass reaches out and grabs all other gelatinous mass. At least in Newty-onian terms. Jellileo concieved of this as a reaching out and shaking of big invisible hands with a resultant drawing together. Newty, though, though some more about it and decided it had a more clumsy, groping quality to it, but he simply may have been in a state of irritation after his head reached up and grabbed an apple drawing it back too quickly. Alfred E. came along with General Jellitivity and proposed that space/time had the general "curved" shape of the jellyfish, and that this jellyfish shaped spacetime surrounded all mass. Grabity no longer was viewed as a grab at all, but a constant sliding down the curved inner wall of a slick, wet, giant jellyfish. Why did anyone find this to be an improvement?

 

[Gokul43201]

Because it explained why black holes - the place that all matter will eventually go to - are black. You see, if you take enough matter and slide it down the slick inner wall of the jellyfish, you could suddenly find that you've exceeded the Hand-shaker Limit (this was deduced using Newty-onian methods; hence, the name) of that jellyfish. This causes the giant jellyfish to undergo a most singular transformation into a giant squid - which immediately upon creation, releases all the excess ink formed by the destruction of all that matter. This ink-covered squid is what is known as a black hole.

Is Albert E. really different from Alfred E., the only true understander of the behavior of nocturnally roving herds of weird purple jellyfish ?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Albert and Alfred were second cousins and boyhood friends who were separated by a bitter feud between their two branches of the family. To this day no one remembers what caused the rift but each side of the family refers the other side as "those Einsteins". The fact that Albert's overwhelming success eclipsed the work and research of Alfred has only thrown gas on the fire. Alfred's family is particularly touchy, as I have cautioned Zooby, about people accidentally crediting Albert with Alfred's work. They keep a small team of lawyers on retainer.

Many years before the feud began, young Albert and young Alfred found a huge dead purple Jellyfish washed up on the beach. They began having a playful tug-of-war with the thing and noticed it was extremely elastic and they had stretched it out to nearly the size of a bedsheet. Curious Albert wanted to see how strong the material was so he asked his father to come over and place his bowling ball in the middle of the taut, stretched purple sheet.
Alfred's eyes lit up.
What had he realized at that moment?

Better question: What was Albert's father doing with a bowling ball at the beach?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Alfred's eyes lit up.
What had he realized at that moment?

Alfred had realized that one could both obviate nocturnal incontinence and create the perfect bed trampoline at the same time. He realized and patented this invention later in life, and it was the source of a financial windfall worth tens of cents in today's money.

Better question: What was Albert's father doing with a bowling ball at the beach?

He'd abandoned bowling so the ball was to become ballast in a beautiful boat.


Try as I might, I can't get a handle on all the units of measurement one encounters in Jellyphysics. I tend to confuse units of jellipotentiality with units of jellimosity with units of jellisticity and so on. Anyone got any of these sorted out properly in their head?

 

[Gokul43201]

Try as I might, I can't get a handle on all the units of measurement one encounters in Jellyphysics. I tend to confuse units of jellipotentiality with units of jellimosity with units of jellisticity and so on. Anyone got any of these sorted out properly in their head?

Some. Jellipotentiality is measured in jellictron jolts. Quantities involved in jellisticity are the poisonous ratio, the jellistic modulus, the jellistic limit, and the jello point. The poisonous ratio (discovered jointly by Alfred and Albert - their only collaborative work) is the ratio of reduction of diameter of a jellyfish to the increase in its length, and it unitless. The jello point is defined as the amount of squish required to convert a jellyfish to the physical equivalent of a bowl of jello (minus the bowl). This, as well as the jellistic limit and modulus are measured in squishes (English equivalent : Newty-tonnes.

I've heard of jellicosity, which is a measure of the meanness (sometimes confused with bellicosity, which is aggressiveness) of a jellyfish (see post#1004, pg#67 for explanation of E=mc^2), but what the jell (jell (n) : final resting place of bad, undersized jellyfish; origin : spanish) is jellimosity ?

 

[jimmy p]

I've heard of jellicosity, which is a measure of the meanness (sometimes confused with bellicosity, which is aggressiveness) of a jellyfish (see post#1004, pg#67 for explanation of E=mc^2), but what the jell (jell (n) : final resting place of bad, undersized jellyfish; origin : spanish) is jellimosity ?

Jellimosity is a term derived in the late 40's when refridgerated particle physics was split into 3 groups. It is basically "the rivallry between Jelliphysics, Goophysics, and the sub-group Playdometry.

The three fundamental particles which have separated this branch of physics are the Jellitron, Goodron and Playdough. What are the properties of each particle?

 

[Gokul43201]

The most distinguishing property of the jellitrons is their taste (some purists like the word 'flavor'). Jellitrons taste fabulous, but I really couldn't care much for the goodrons or the playdoughs.

What's a non sequitur, and why is it two words ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What's a non sequitur, and why is it two words ?

And it is for that reason that young Alfred never learned to do ciphers with his left foot.


I can't get the image of young Alfred and Albert there on the beach, prodding the weird, purple jellyfish with sticks, ruminating over what made it tick, already, at the tender age of eight, sporting the white moustache and wild hair that were their hallmarks in old age. But since they only had one moustache between them, and Alfred commandeered it for most of their childhood (untill he was pressured into relinquishing it to Albert), whose moustache was Alfred wearing in the photographs taken of him during the remaining years of his life?

 

[Gokul43201]

But since they only had one moustache between them, and Alfred commandeered it for most of their childhood (untill he was pressured into relinquishing it to Albert), whose moustache was Alfred wearing in the photographs taken of him during the remaining years of his life?

Trick quetion : there are no later years' photographs of Alfred. We all know that he vaporized one beautiful summer day, when he was sitting at Danken's (the local ice cream parlor), and thinking about weird, purple jellyfish, between spoonfulls of blackberry ice cream. There were several eyewitnesses that will, to this day, recount to you how the ice cream swallowed einstein (it's a relative thing) or how the end of his spoon spontaneously heated up to a temperature of several thousand kelvin, for long enough to just incinerate poor Alfred. Anyway it's quite certain there were no photographs of him taken after that day.

The curious thing though is that all the eyewitnesses also recall seeing Alfred wipe his moustache repeatedly - especially just before he said something like "I think, therefore you are!" ("Ich denke, folglich bestehen Sie"). So the quetion still remains, eh ?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I would suggest then it was a "moo-stache" rather than a mustache observed on his upper lip. It was the thick pinkish-white remnants of blackberry ice-cream and his standard milk chaser which he repeatedly wiped away.

If Alfred said "I think, therefore you are" and Alfred no longer is, then, am I is?

 

[zoobyshoe]

If Alfred said "I think, therefore you are" and Alfred no longer is, then, am I is?

I think so.


Which brings a strange recollection of mine to mind: once, when I was slithering in the fashion of an alarmed salamander through the cold wet, fallen fall leaves, on a forest floor in a Vermont wood, after having nearly been discovered trying to abscond with one of a certain Mr. Barker's bushel baskets of apples, I happened upon a granite slab buried in the leaves. There was nothing special in particular about this, since ancient glaciers left granite slabs and boulders strewn all over New England, but this one seemed to be covered with remarkable symbols.

It looked like nothing less than a language. Perhaps composed of ideograms. Perhaps it was phonetic, I couldn't say. I couldn't say if the lines should be read left to right or up to down. I couldn't say if it were indo-european or sino-mongolian. I couldn't say if it I were even looking at it right side up. All I can say is that it looked to be an artifact, with human intellect behind it.

Curious, I put my back into it and flipped the slab over to see if there was more on the other side.

Just then, an alarmed salamander slithered away through the cold, wet fallen fall leaves on the forest floor, like some schoolboy crawling on all fours away from the farmer whose apples he'd just tried to steal.

I suddenly felt reduced to something like a figure in an M.C. Escher drawing.

How do you suppose that happened?

 

[SEG9585]

You were shrunk by the machine from "Honey I shrunk the kids" and was lying down on an Escher drawing, when someone stepped on you. Hence, you became part of the drawing.


Whats the maximum temperature possible before energy starts to decompose into somethin that isn't energy?

 

[Gokul43201]

Oh, this is T_{MJ}, the jellyfish melting temperature (not the temperature of the "black-or-white body radiation" - but that's a different story). At this temperature, the inside curved surface of the jellyfish becomes undefined, and hence gravity disappears. Actually, it is believed that the entire gravitational potential energy of the system morphs into a state of general uneasiness. (This is more confusing than a state of general relativity.)

Do you know how difficult it is to determine the properties of this state ?

 

[Rahmuss]

Y is Mas Elivashun not listd hear? End how miny thymes wil it knead too bee? Whuts a fork four?

 

[Trancid]

Duh, a fork is used to get some sense out of the rubbish you made...

Can anyone translate what our dear friend Rahmuss said above here?

 

[Marzright]

:¿ )

Can you see the upside down question mark I use for my nose?
(in the tittle)

Ahhh, but more seriousle. I thought there was no such thing as a stupid question, because we are all reaching out the what we make as the new edge of are ignorance.
Mabe there are just stupid awsers. Ex: that's a stupid question.

If we think its a stupid question, I'm thinking we alread understand it and just think its simple. Or we don't understand it at all. Mabe you can seriousle have a question outa place... WEll the other day well doing my medical studies we (my class) were talking about forms of application of medicine, my teacher asked "does anyone know what a plaster is" and I asked "your not talking about the building supplie are you?" I got a Timmy Tally for that one, so I guess I took us back in a loop.

Is my form of writting to self richious?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Reminder:

The game has a form. When posting you first answer the quetion posed in the post preceeding yours. Then you may pose a new stupid quetion.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Do you know how difficult it is to determine the properties of this state ?

If we go alphabetically, this is somewhat harder to determine than the properties of the state of California and slightly easier to determine than the state of Euphoria. Simpson's error bound yields +/- 0.000675 for this.

Back in the day when my eating habits were less-cautious, I sometimes used a utensil provided by a popular fast-food vendor that was touted as part spoon and part fork. I have often wondered what the marketing advantage was for calling this a "spork" rather than a "foon". Can you explain?

 

[Moonbear]

I have often wondered what the marketing advantage was for calling this a "spork" rather than a "foon". Can you explain?

It's quite well known that 'foon is a contraction for "buffoon." According to the neighbors of the inventor, his wife was heard screaming one night, "You 'foon, what sort of useless contraption have you made this time? Get out of my house you worthless, piece of {bleep}! You'll send us to the poor house yet with these useless inventions of yours!" That same night, she tossed all his junk out onto the front lawn and torched his collection of useless inventions. Being overly sensitive about being called a 'foon from then onward, he decided to call the invention the spork.

Speaking of inventions, a most popular example in hypothetical scenarios is the widget. What exactly is a widget?

 

[Gokul43201]

A widget is the guy that gets most badly beaten up in school. He is a combination of a wimp and a midget.

I always escaped getting beaten up in school because I had mastered Oiler's Method. Whenever some bully came to beat me up, I would cooly inform him that I was a master of the Oiler Method, and he would run away in shame and frustration. Anyone else use this for getting out of tight spots ?

 

[bootsam]

KY and a wink usually does it for me.

 

[Finhed]

KY and a wink usually does it for me

so is it the entire state of Kentucky you like?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I always escaped getting beaten up in school because I had mastered Oiler's Method. Whenever some bully came to beat me up, I would cooly inform him that I was a master of the Oiler Method, and he would run away in shame and frustration. Anyone else use this for getting out of tight spots ?

No. I was that bully.


How have things veered from stupid quetions to idiotic chatter?

 

[Math Is Hard]

stupid quetions, like most things in nature, follow their own cycle, I guess.

Speaking of cycles, is it true that nocturnally roving jellyfish tend to "Spring Forward" onto the land in Spring, and "Fall Back" into the ocean in the Fall?

 

[zoobyshoe]

stupid quetions, like most things in nature, follow their own cycle, I guess.

Speaking of cycles, is it true that nocturnally roving jellyfish tend to "Spring Forward" onto the land in Spring, and "Fall Back" into the ocean in the Fall?

It's more like "Slither forward" and "Slide back".

How is it that on some computer monitors the cleverly misspelled, and clearly phrased thread title "Ask a Stupid Quetion, Get a Stupid Answer" seems to read as "Post Random Idiotic Chatter, Especially If It's Not Funny"?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Simple. It's what us IT folk call a PEBKAC.

The biggest drawback to using Oiler's method on a bully, is that you will tend to underestimate the bully. It's also a rather long process that involves stopping, making a correction, and re-estimating the bully, until the bully oftentimes will flee out of boredom rather than shame.
What are some other ways of dealing with bullies that mathematicians and physicists might employ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What are some other ways of dealing with bullies that mathematicians and physicists might employ?

Most resort to cutting deals concerning homework. Some, less realistic ones, try to convince themselves that the bully, being taller and heavier, exists in a different inertial frame whose time is dilated enough that he'll be too slow to hurt them. That doesn't much work.


Recently I was fortunate enough to be the originator of the newest addition to the English Language, the neologism: schrephimacious. However, the exertion of creating this word left me exhausted with no energy left to forge a meaning for it. Would anyone care to supply a definition for it?

 

[Gokul43201]

schrephimacious : (adj.) showing properties of, or exhibiting the behavior of the class of brick-laying organisms known as the schrephimasons (Etymology - new zoobic) (pronunciation : scruffy-may-shus; click the ((@)) to hear pronunciation)

eg : A bunch of the olden dudes tried to build a Tower (of Babble or watchamacallit) to the Sun, in a schrephimacious manner.

also see schrephimaciously (adv.) : in a schrephimacious manner

eg : A bunch of the olden dudes tried to build a tower (of Babble or watchamacallit) to the Sun, schrephimaciously.

and also, if you're really into this kinda thing, see schrephimason (n.) : class of brick-laying organism (pronunciation : scruffy-mason)

Additional note : your sound player is intermittently malfunctioning.

What was the whole problem with this Tower of Babble (or watchamacallit) ?

 

[Rahmuss]

Ever Answer Absurdity

Can anyone translate what our dear friend Rahmuss said above here?

Y is Mas Elivashun not listd hear? =
Why is Mass Elivation not listed here?

End how miny thymes wil it knead too bee? =
And how many times will it need to be?

Whuts a fork four? =
What's a fork for?

The meaning of which is meaningless, which is what this discussion is all about.

 

[zoobyshoe]

What was the whole problem with this Tower of Babble (or watchamacallit) ?

Apparently (although I wasn't there, myself) Old King Berhardarrabi sent out a bunch of clay tablets to anyone and everyone who'd ever visited Babylon. The tower was mentioned as one of the most visited tourist attractions in the city. So all these classless tourist types started showing up out of nowhere to gawk at the tower. Alot of them started to scrawl graffiti. The schreffimasons were polite at first, then they got a bit snappy toward the vandalistic tourists. The tourists, however, didn't get the schreffimasons occupational jargon, and considered it to be gibberish. They went home reporting that the builders of the tower were babling. That's the version that got written down. The tower never got finished, of course, because the tourists kept kicking parts of it over.

I recently noticed that my sound player is intermittantly malfunctioning. Checking inside, I discovered several gremlins cavorting. I have placed them in a recently vacated hamster cage, but they seem to have no desire to run their excess energy off on the wheel. Instead, they seem determined to discover a way to make the wheel squeek as loudly as physics will permit. Thinking about it, that's probably what I should really have expected. What should I do with them?

 

[Gokul43201]

Keep the gremlins safe till there's a war...and then drop them on the enemy. This may sound like crazy advise but this is just how WWII was won. The RAF pilots were finding loud screeching noises and other strange anomalies with their planes and electronics. It took a while before they found that the mischief was due to a bunch of gremlins in the works. Immediately realizing the destructive power of the gremlins, they collected them all up and dropped them on the Nazis.

Why didn't the Americans drop gremlins on the Japanese ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why didn't the Americans drop gremlins on the Japanese ?

This was tried but, it turned out that the fine art of gremlin handling was part and parcel of the ancient samurai tradition. They didn't even blink.

Thinking I'd gotten lucky in a crowded neighborhood this morning, I started to turn into what appeared to be the last empty parking spot within ten miles, only to find someone had left a kitty parked there. It doesn't seem right that a kitty can legally take up a whole parking space, does it?

 

[plover]

Hairball on the bridge...

I never thought it was right that a kitty should take up a whole computer keyboard, but does that stop them?

If you look at larger and larger areas for which it holds that the set { X | X is a parking spot, not occupied(X)=car } contains only one element (call it P), the chance that occupied(P)=kitty approaches 1. Follows directly from the axioms defining kitty.

When you leave the kitty, do you know when to walk away and when to run?

 

[zoobyshoe]

When you leave the kitty, do you know when to walk away and when to run?

I do not generally know, no. Therefore I slither away in the fashion of an alarmed salamander.


One time I found a kitty sitting there with an addressed, stamped envelope it its mouth. Should I have:

a.) Mailed the letter?

b.) Mailed the letter and the kitty?

c.) Mailed the kitty?

d.) Mailed myself?

 

[selfAdjoint]

I do not generally know, no. Therefore I slither away in the fashion of an alarmed salamander.


One time I found a kitty sitting there with an addressed, stamped envelope it its mouth. Should I have:

a.) Mailed the letter?

b.) Mailed the letter and the kitty?

c.) Mailed the kitty?

d.) Mailed myself?

Obviously you should have refreshed the kitty-letter. (You knew that was coming!)

Assuming you mailed yourself, what would the return address be?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

All of my mail goes out with The White House as a return address.

So what do you think the president does with my stuff?

 

[jimmy p]

So what do you think the president does with my stuff?

... well only the classiest toilet paper is used in the White House.




I always send a letter off to Santa Claus at Christmas telling him I have been good and give him a list of what I want. He never delivers what I want though. Why is this so?