Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[zoobyshoe]

Can Carole King be your chum?

It's a fishy quetion that suggests the image of salmon struggling upstream searching for an elusive musical connection that they won't find. What they are sure to find, though, is a Starbuck's. Outside they will see four people sitting around a table playing an interesting new board game. One player is quite chummy, and hums. That, therefore, is Carole King. Another player is squinting at the board giving the impression he can't quite make it out. That, therefore, is Monet. The third player is making his move, a risky one that might elicit approbation. The fourth player is doodling a sketch of the whole scene from a point of view outside his own body, in which he, himself is depicted sketching the scene, and in which they are all observed by the salmon staring up from the river. He, therefore, is M.C. Escher.

When Escher's turn comes he shakes the dice and rolls them out onto the board. The rolling motion resolves into swimming and the dice have become two little spotted salmon swimming along a river printed on the game board. They swim to the edge of the board, off onto the table, drop to the ground, and swim to the river proper, where they join the school of observing salmon.

"I have the impression that's not allowed," says Monet. The risker rolls out the rule book, and Carole King conscientiously consults. Meanwhile the salmon swim away, not quite certain what just happened.

Why is approbation risky?

 

[turbo]

Why is approbation risky?

Consider the source and the irreparable damage that such approbation might cause, should it become public knowledge. If one cannot manage to offend just about everyone at once, one's communicative abilities are called into question, since none of us here are actually "normal" enough to be acceptable company. It's funny that you brought Monet into this, since his insipid daubings are unfit even for wallpaper. Carole King wrote "Up on the Roof" in a vain attempt to lure him there so she could push him off and produce an abstract technicolor installation a la Jackson Pollock. Her scheme failed, and she fell into a morass of tapestries, herbal teas, and scented candles.

Did bitter arch-rival Judy Collins ever go to Marrakesh?

 

[Yonoz]

Did bitter arch-rival Judy Collins ever go to Marrakesh?

She did not as she was wanted by Marrakeesh-Kebab - the national security service - for alleged peadophilia. Peas are considered taboo in Marrakesh.
She did, however, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk_to_Canossa#Historical_impact", where she did meet Otto von Bismarck. They had managed to hold a brief debate on the rights of future generation before King George V showed up and crippled Bismarck. Collins managed to get away on her Moovie. She was pursued by the flying Scotland Yard, but the Moovie's large wheels proved superior to her pursuers' biodiesel-powered pencil-laden lorries - which we discussed previously.
If this forum's moderator is named Evo, is the General Discussion forum on theologyforums.com moderated by Creatio?

 

[turbo]

If this forum's moderator is named Evo, is the General Discussion forum on theologyforums.com moderated by Creatio?

The moderator is nice, but since Harley has switched from the Evo to the Twin-Cam engines, she is a bit dated. That's not a bad thing, because if I got a killer deal on a Shovelhead or a Knucklehead, I'd pick it up in a heartbeat, but a guy can only take on one or two projects at a time. You've got to know your limits.

Is carbon dating any less risky than computer dating?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Is carbon dating any less risky than computer dating?

For a woman: no. Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

That reminds me of the young lady who was out on a date with a MacIntosh one evening at a nice restaurant. The computer let her order first, being a gentleman, and she indulged herself in ordering a healthy amount of comestibles. When his turn came he said, "Nothing for me but a plug into some 120 volt AC. This made the young lady feel gratuitously porcine, and she later exacted revenge by "accidently" spilling her wine onto his keyboard, pretty much destroying it.

Had they both only read "Macs are from Orchards, Women are from Venus" this computer/female misunderstand might never have arisen for they would both have understood that she'd have been better off with a lump of coal to stare at and think "If I just put enough frickin' pressure on him long enough he could turn into a diamond some day!"
----
I forgot to mention in an earlier post on the subject that the board game being played at Starbuck's was called "SalmonElla". The goal is to acquire ten points by giving food poisoning to as many of your opponents as possible. In addition to Ella, the Salmon, primary carrier of the pesky bacteria, characters include, a prince who must try to eat her before midnight when she's been laying out unrefridgerated on a platter at the Grand Ball just too long, and the Wicked Step Women, who cannot eat her before smoking her over the embers in their big fireplace. Ella, the Salmon, has ways to force or trick others into eating her at unsafe times, but she has to be careful when to play these cards since the poisoning can be transferred back to her by anyone secretly holding a card for that purpose. Poisoning someone else gets you a point and an extra turn. getting poisoned means you forfeit a point and a lose a turn. First player to make ten points wins.

Is it true there's a similar game called "Canned Spinach" or something?

 

[star.torturer]

there could be, but as this is sposed to be a stupid (ly long) answere, I am going to say ofcourse,

is it true that therres a moon around me, yse that s what i said?

 

[zoobyshoe]

is it true that therres a moon around me, yse that s what i said?

yse therres a moon around me? I am going to spose so ofcourse.

Recently when I was opening a can of spinch a 16 year old cloud of compressed, noxious gas sprayed into my face as soon as I broke through the steel with the can opener. The cloud whirled and spun, dazzling me, and then resolved itself into form of Popeye the Sailor, who then said "Ya gots three wishes. Whad'll it be?"

This, I realized, was one of the legendary Jinn; strange, uncovenanted spirits which had been captured and sealed in tins like this by Sulyman, the Great, and thrown into the ocean depths, where it was hoped they would never be found.

Now, when confronted by a wish-granting Jinn, one must be very, very careful. Like all wish-granters they specialize in granting the letter of your wish while also completely queering the pleasure or enjoyment the wish was actually intended to attain. Even noble wishes for things like world peace or a cure for cancer are twisted into mockeries by the unpleasant side effects the Jinn include in granting the wish. The Jinn are not to be trusted.

So, how do you stuff a two foot tall Popeye back into a can of spinach?

 

[Neohaven]

A blender and a heater... with a kinda big can.

Why do some guys answer 42 to anything?

 

[kant]

Woohoo, a brand new forum to post in! Just thought it didn't feel quite right without this here. So in the tradition of PF 2.0 ask a stupid "quetion" and get a stupid answer back.

So to begin... How long do you think it takes to reach a 1000 posts in this topic again?

It said that there is a corralation between penis size, and brain size. My question is: Does size matter?

 

[madcat11]

It said that there is a corralation between penis size, and brain size. My question is: Does size matter?

Matter, schmatter. Who cares what "it" said. (this being not the proper quetion either...)

By the way, who is "it"?

 

[hypatia]

Who ever I tag is "it"


Is it proper to use a blow gun when tagging from a distance?

 

[turbo]

Who ever I tag is "it"


Is it proper to use a blow gun when tagging from a distance?

As long as the dart is tipped with curare (tradition is important).

Why did the Dodge Dart?

 

[Math Is Hard]

As long as the dart is tipped with curare (tradition is important).

Why did the Dodge Dart?

It saw the Gremlin coming.

Is there really always room for Jello?

 

[turbo]

Is there really always room for Jello?

It depends on the volume of the bathtub and the displacement of the occupants (at least the parts of their bodies submerged in the Jello). Tubbing with J-Lo could save on Jello - Kate Moss could run up quite a Jello bill.

Why do desiccant packs in foods and medicines always say "Do not eat?"

 

[Mattara]

They're cooporating with wikipedia and the t-shirt creation foundation and will ultimately force all of their employees to wear this:

http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/3230/jitcrunchis1.jpg

or this:

http://img170.imageshack.us/img170/7639/jitcrunchrf7.jpg

How does this impact your life?

 

[hypatia]

Well being that they are white shirts, I will half to go buy the Clorox bleach pen...which means a trip to a store I don't like going to. A super mega-mart. Isle after isle of shiney bright lights, and holiday music playing{already}.
Will the shiney bright lights effect my S.A.D.?

 

[Mattara]

Well being that they are white shirts, I will half to go buy the Clorox bleach pen...which means a trip to a store I don't like going to. A super mega-mart. Isle after isle of shiney bright lights, and holiday music playing{already}.
Will the shiney bright lights effect my S.A.D.?

If, by S.A.D you mean Seasonal Affective Disorder, then you are absolutely correct. Research have shown that SAD is indeed affected by bright light and strong sound. That means no more LSD parties or playing UFO in the backyard with the drunken girls that couldn't catch a ride home for me.

What are some of the fundamental differences between LCD and LSD?

 

[DaxInvader]

The "C" and the "S"...

Why I'm I answering?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why I'm I answering?

I can't explain why you're You answering because when I'm I answering it's It self evident and I'm I don't even think to wonder about it.

Regardless, or perhaps because of, this, you're You wrong. The difference between LCD (Leprechaunic Colon Disease) and LSD (Loose Sphincter Disorder) is subtle, but much more than alphabetical.

Recently when I was crawling crablike sideways through a narrow fissure in an earthquake partitioned edifice in the city of San Francisco, California, U.S.A. I slipped, unwittingly, through several unmarked perpendicular dimensions and arrived in a very cramped and under equipped, rank smelling bathroom-like structure that seemed to be constructed entirely of plastic. It was very hot. Taped to the wall was a sign that said "Stargate extras: please wash your hands with the hose you'll see to your left when you exit the porta-potty before returning to the set."

I thought it must be about the most ironic thing in the world that I had accidently traveled through an authentic stargate to arrive among people who were filming stories of a purely fictional stargate. I would have pondered this a bit more but someone who'd visited the porta-stargate before me had clearly had an LSD problem and it was desirable to vacate the place. Turning to open the door I discovered the bolt had been thrown to a locked position from the inside.

I hadn't done this, and if anyone else had they would still be there. Unless... I had displaced them upon arrival, sending them back to San Francisco.

So, did any of you suddenly find yourself standing in a large, cracked building with your trousers down around your ankles earlier today?

 

[metaquantum]

So, did any of you suddenly find yourself standing in a large, cracked building with your trousers down around your ankles earlier today?

i just can't remember!

AAARRARGGAGARHG

and why the (ugly word) would i ever click on a link that said http://www.PHYSICSforums.com ?

AAARGARGRAGRGHRGHRGGH

and why hasnt anybody shot me yet?

AGAGAHAHand why did i just ask 3 questions in a row?


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

[DaxInvader]

Ahh Viva stoopid questions..

For zoobyshoe, What would think my response would be.. when looking the name of the thread?

***

Why do you ask 3 questions in a row?? Who knows? And why?

ARGG I ASKED 3 QUESTIONS IN A ROW!

AAA

 

[turbo]

I will not answer 3 questions, nor will any other rule-abiding member of this board. Math is Hard has determined your physical location from your IP address, and will hunt you down to beat you with a 20-pound mackerel. Judging from the severity of your offense, she may be using a frozen one.

A chickadees and a whippoorwill can say their own names - why can't a tufted titmouse?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I will not answer 3 questions, nor will any other rule-abiding member of this board. Math is Hard has determined your physical location from your IP address, and will hunt you down to beat you with a 20-pound mackerel. Judging from the severity of your offense, she may be using a frozen one.

A chickadees and a whippoorwill can say their own names - why can't a tufted titmouse?

They can't stop giggling long enough to get it out.
note: how many beatings am I going to have to administer today? Geez. This is supposed to be my day off.

What does this drawing mean?

http://www.coasttocoastam.com/timages/page/Transmissions110106a1.jpg
http://www.coasttocoastam.com/gen/page1712.html?theme=light

 

[zoobyshoe]

What does this drawing mean?

Those are the illustrated instructions that Mr. Robin Parsons left me for finding the T.o.E. in the event anything should happen to him. I've been too embarrassed to carry the instructions out because they involve a strange dance in which you must flap your arms like a bird, as depicted in the central figure, and you must also apply facial makeup to resemble a cast member of "Cats" as illustrated in the step by step drawings at the bottom. I don't feel knowing the T.o.E. merits this sort of trouble.

Recently when I was in the large NBC building in N.Y., there to be interviewed in conjunction with my new book A Zoobie's Eye View of the Current Politico-Botanical Crisis in Rural Droolomenia, I happened to stumble into the wrong studio and found myself being interviewed instead on the subject of the current dangerous fad of self-immunization. Apparently today's troubled youth has discovered the thrills of injecting themselves with any kind of killed virus they can lay their hands on and innoculations against small pox, large pox, medium pox, one pox, two pox, red pox, blue pox, and so forth, are selling for as much as $5 an injection on inner city street corners, at raves, and even on schoolyards.

I held forth on this subject, about which I knew nothing, for 10 minutes by telling a string of invented stories about kids who'd been arrested in the act of self immunization behind dumpsters, in alleys, in old quarrys, and with each story I ascribed younger and younger ages to the miscreants, for dramatic effect, untill, when I was about to relate the sad tale of a five year old girl rushed to the ER after she accidently hit an artery while trying to innoculate herself against the flu, I was interrupted by the host who announced it was time to field quetions from the audience.

I pointed to a young, deranged looking man in the front row who was waving his hand at me like an oriental fan. "Yes?'" I said.

"Well", he said, "What would think my response would be...when looking at the name of this thread?"

Just then, the real assistant director of the CDC stumbled into the studio, pointed accusingly at me and shouted "That is an IMPOSTER!"

Rising majestically from my chair to my full height of eight feet, I raised my long arm, pointed back at him and declared, accusingly, "That man is RIGHT!"

Hypnotized by the tone of my voice, two burly studio security guards jumped on the assistant director of the CDC, wrestled him to the floor and handcuffed him, while I slipped out a side door and took the elevator down to the commssary.

What's the special today?

 

[DaxInvader]

(LOL!)

I heard that the special at the cafateria was they made a very good fight pie..And for dessert.. a teeth soup. Speaking of specials.. One day, I was lost in the woods. For hour and hours a walked upon branches and dead trees wandering when i'll find where I was.. After 2 days without eating, I finally found a road leading to nowhere.. I followed that small road and found a little snack bar along the way.. I rushed in. As I sat down quietly, the waitress came up to me and said:

- What will it be?
- Anything!.. Give me the special!
- Okay i'll bring our today's soup.

As I waited hoping that my stomic(I hope its "stomic" lol is that it?) wouldn't make loud noises, I saw a man behind his journal with a big warm tomato's soup. After 20 minutes of waiting.. I couldn't resist. I walked silently to him.. and took his soup without him noticing.

"When my soup will arrive.. I'll give it to him." I said to me.

I ate that soup in a second.. A new world record.. I was finally eating something in 2 days.. I finished my soup and starting wandering how i could explain myself to the man (Still behind his journal) but its just then that I realized that there was a strange Alien descusting thing inside my bowl.. It was something horrifing.. Hairy.. Moving...I was soo discusted that i vomited my hole soup inside the bowl.

Just then.. The man dropped his journal.. Nodded to me and said:

- Oh! You saw it too?

And now there are supposed to put some commercials over here..

Some days later I found myself in that NBC building near N.Y. ...

Why do we choose th letter "X" when we speak of variables?

 

[Neohaven]

(I hope its "stomic" lol is that it?)

As the rules of the thread say ONE question PER person, PER post... I feel obliged to tell you that it might be it, since no one cares.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Why are we limited to only one question?

 

[metaquantum]

the correct spelling of a humans middle part (where all the food and the squishy looking things are stored) is "stomach"

and i don't think it was ment to be a question like in the "quetion" meaning

Why do we choose th letter "X" when we speak of variables?

cuz it looks so cool! you know with the pointy ends and all.. there's even four of them! woah

Why are we limited to only one question?

cuz youre all lazy asses

wohoo! i answered 2 quetions

i think that should give me the right to ask an extra question.. but then again, I am too lazy to ask

but

whats the difference between george bush, and a monkey?
(and this better be good, because i got three of em already)

 

[DaxInvader]

Well A monkey can learn things..

Like skate boarding! For the rest, they are the same.

I DO CARE ABOUT MY STOMIC! or stomach.. for the littles brains called metaquamtum... I'm not pointing at anyone!

I'm I?

Neohaven..(Except the fact that you are a very good story braker..) I MUST ask... Since I know you at school... I feel that this is the appropriate way to ask you..

Do you have facial hair?

Last time I asked.. You told me.. 42...

 

[Neohaven]

Well A monkey can learn things..

Like skate boarding! For the rest, they are the same.

I DO CARE ABOUT MY STOMIC! or stomach.. for the littles brains called metaquamtum... I'm not pointing at anyone!

I'm I?

Neohaven..(Except the fact that you are a very good story braker..) I MUST ask... Since I know you at school... I feel that this is the appropriate way to ask you..

Do you have facial hair?

Last time I asked.. You told me.. 42...

No I don't. Like I cared. No one in my family has lots of facial hair. Just means I won't have to bother cutting/shaving a beard everyday.

No flames is also part of the rules of this board, right?

 

[Math Is Hard]

No flames is also part of the rules of this board, right?

Open flames are forbidden when flammable facial fringe is visible in the forums. This practice stems from the Montana laws against maliciously mustaching mischievious Montanese minors.

Last Saturday at the strip mall, just before I was arrested for undressing, a moostachioed man in a turban approached me with two eager fists outstretched. He said, "lady, lucky lady, choose the one that reveals your fortune". I picked the left hand and he said "no, no you did it wrong, try it again." I picked the right hand and he said "no, no. you're stilll not getting it." Which one was I supposed to pick?