Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[zoobyshoe]

Last Saturday at the strip mall, just before I was arrested for undressing, a moostachioed man in a turban approached me with two eager fists outstretched. He said, "lady, lucky lady, choose the one that reveals your fortune". I picked the left hand and he said "no, no you did it wrong, try it again." I picked the right hand and he said "no, no. you're stilll not getting it." Which one was I supposed to pick?

Clearly you picked the correct one both times. It was your method of choosing that was wrong.

Once when I was perusing the 30 million profiles posted at myzoobiebrushshelter.com, that ever so addictive website where zoobies can post pictures of themselves in front of the Eiffel Brush Shelter, or mugging in front of their phone camera, I came across the odd profile of a lonely little jellyfish who had no friends but the generic friend they issue everyone when you join. She was blue, an Aries, 39, and not very talkative. She had not papered her mybrushshelter profile with a mass of provocative quotes from rock songs or posted pics of herself in jellygoth makeup and skimpy clothing, or announced she wanted to have lesbian sex with Angelina Jolie despite the fact she was mostly straight, and all that de rigeur mybrushshelter stuff, so it was no wonder she was all alone. I invited her to be my friend.

I'm wondering, though, if I didn't make a risky error. What if it turns out she's not a jellyfish at all but a fiendishly cheerful platinum blonde with an anatomically impossible figure who'd rather shop than tackle a nice quadratic equation?

 

[Mattara]

Clearly you picked the correct one both times. It was your method of choosing that was wrong.

Once when I was perusing the 30 million profiles posted at myzoobiebrushshelter.com, that ever so addictive website where zoobies can post pictures of themselves in front of the Eiffel Brush Shelter, or mugging in front of their phone camera, I came across the odd profile of a lonely little jellyfish who had no friends but the generic friend they issue everyone when you join. She was blue, an Aries, 39, and not very talkative. She had not papered her mybrushshelter profile with a mass of provocative quotes from rock songs or posted pics of herself in jellygoth makeup and skimpy clothing, or announced she wanted to have lesbian sex with Angelina Jolie despite the fact she was mostly straight, and all that de rigeur mybrushshelter stuff, so it was no wonder she was all alone. I invited her to be my friend.

I'm wondering, though, if I didn't make a risky error. What if it turns out she's not a jellyfish at all but a fiendishly cheerful platinum blonde with an anatomically impossible figure who'd rather shop than tackle a nice quadratic equation?

In fact, there are a number of socioeconomic factors and relationships to take into account when dealing with shops and stores and purchasing items from them. Leading market strategists say that their current business models of the above act does coincide with previously theorized speculations and events of the modern day haute couture and its counterpart in other areas of said problem.

Which other words is highly professional, yet also have a perverted egde to them?

 

[Leopold Infeld]

/I don't know.

Why do I don't know?

 

[MadScientist 1000]

/I don't know.

Why do I don't know?

You don't know because I don't know that you don't know that I don't know that you don't know that I don't know that I don't know.

Why must I not stop breathing?

 

[The_Thinker]

Cause your breathing won't stop you...

Why do mosquitoes bite people even though most of them that do.. die...

 

[Neohaven]

Cause your breathing won't stop you...

Why do mosquitoes bite people even though most of them that do.. die...

I think a moth bit you.

Again, why do people answer 42 to some/all questions?

 

[mathwonk]

question: why do the dumbest threads live the longest?

 

[Mattara]

Unification of GR and QM

question: why do the dumbest threads live the longest?

To explore this question, we need to take a look to the past. It has been a long an difficult path to unify GR and QM that has taken several years and several computers and notebooks to reach where I am today.

As you all know, GR or general revenue is money received by the state which can be used for any purpose. Examples of general revenue include receipts from the state income tax and general business taxes etc. QM or quartermaster on the other hand, in the United States Army, is a soldier or unit which specializes in supplying and provisioning troops in the field.

It has been long since forgotten that these two entities could bew combined without getting ridiculously implausible infinite probabilities. Further difficulty has laid in the concept of strings. CBS 60 Minutes had recently covered a story on political earmarks and found that having strings attached was one of the worst political hidden scandals they could find.

What has now been proven is that GR and QM can be unified in a satisfactory way with the aid of such technologic advances.

Should we blindly trust such unbridled ragamuffins? For brevity, I won't comment further on that, but rather on the way that dumbest threads wants to marginalize me based on my gender, race, or religion. It gets better: It actually believes that the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly. I guess no one's ever told it that it has gotten away with so much for so long that it's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits.

What is a limit, how do men reach it and what exactly does "NO!" mean?

 

[twisting_edge]

What is a limit, how do men reach it and what exactly does "NO!" mean?

According to Evo, "'No' is usually just a 'yes' that needs a little persuading." Headed for a felony, she is. You can impute the answer regarding men and limits fairly easily from that.

What's the deal with the Teddy Ruxpin, anyways?

 

[mathwonk]

a limit is a point such that a function's values eventually enter every nbhd of it. it is not a boundary but an accumulation point. so a mans limit would be a point he comes back to infinitely often.

 

[Math Is Hard]

According to Evo, "'No' is usually just a 'yes' that needs a little persuading." Headed for a felony, she is. You can impute the answer regarding men and limits fairly easily from that.

What's the deal with the Teddy Ruxpin, anyways?

Unfortunately, no deal has been struck with Teddy Ruxpin. In fact, Mr. Ruxpin declined to comment when asked about the matter.

"No" sounds a bit like "yes" in the southern dialect, but in the northern dialect, "yes" sounds very close to "no". Do you think this had anything to do with the great Tablecloth War of 1971 between Velda and Irlene Chowdhardt?

 

[turbo]

Unfortunately, no deal has been struck with Teddy Ruxpin. In fact, Mr. Ruxpin declined to comment when asked about the matter.

"No" sounds a bit like "yes" in the southern dialect, but in the northern dialect, "yes" sounds very close to "no". Do you think this had anything to do with the great Tablecloth War of 1971 between Velda and Irlene Chowdhardt?

The usage of "yes" and "no" could have averted that awful tragedy. The origin of the unfortunate Great Tablecloth War can be traced back to:
1) the fact that Velda and Irlene both said "uh-uh" for "no" and "uh-huh" for "yes", and:
2) they were both too vain to wear their hearing aids even though they were as deaf as posts.
The carnage was inevitable.

Do the guys get shirts?

Warning! Paul Anka is a potty-mouth. Do not click this link if you are under-age or easily offended.
http://www.noisetank.com/integrity/

 

[Math Is Hard]

Do the guys get shirts?

oh, yes. The guys get shirts. That's just the %$#@! way it is.

but why no shirts for the gals?

 

[turbo]

oh, yes. The guys get shirts. That's just the %$#@! way it is.

but why no shirts for the gals?

We like 'em without shirts!

Can we manage to get no shirts and no skirts for the gals? (just checking, not risking a smack with a frozen halibut. )

 

[twisting_edge]

Can we manage to get no shirts and no skirts for the gals?

It is, as a rule, generally easier to get nothing than it is to get something. That is to say, it requires a positive act of will (and a sometimes inordinate amount of dithering) on someone's part to apply the skirts and shirts in the first place, therefore it would require a great deal less effort to not apply the shirts and skirts ab initio.

The next quetion suggests itself: given the amount of effort involved there must clearly be some form of advantage to shirts, skirts and related items. What is it?

 

[Neohaven]

Hiding one's assets <ducks, evading the trout>, and some other minor <ducks again>, not counting stopping stupid attempts at groping.

<runs away, for fear of frozen trout slapping>

So... why do people answer 42? (notice this is the 3rd time i post this. :P)

 

[Hurkyl]

notice this is the 3rd time i post this

No, I didn't notice.

How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol Hordes got bored?

 

[Neohaven]

Maybe one, Maybe thousands, Maybe none. Ask Schroedinger's [sp?!] Cat.

Why does ink clog up sometimes?

 

[darsven]

A: Trick question...Ink doesn't clog up, pens do. Nice try!

Q: If you have only one eye, are you winking, or blinking?

 

[Neohaven]

A: Trick question...Ink doesn't clog up, pens do. Nice try!

Q: If you have only one eye, are you winking, or blinking?

You're closing you eye.

Why can't epsilon be smaller than 0?

 

[Mattara]

You're closing you eye.

Why can't epsilon be smaller than 0?

As in 0 in mass, volume, length, magnitude, strength, position, speed, acceleration, force, intensity, time etc.

How about the si- (gn/ne) for epsilon? Can that be negative?

 

[sas3]

A false negative approach to mining frequent itemsets from high speed transactional data streams seem possible.

Ouch, Why did I say that?

 

[Livingod]

Perhaps you didn't expect me to come out of months of hibernation (I'm glad to be back :) )

Why am I a bear?

 

[D H]

Because your not a duck.

How far can a bird fly?

 

[Livingod]

They do what now?

 

[Delzac]

How far can a bird fly?

A:Not very far if a nuclear bomb hits them.

They do what now?

A:They, as i take it refers to birds, and birds are flying in the skies as i see it.

Q: Why is the bible in the fiction section of a bookstore ?

 

[Arbitrary]

Q: Why is the bible in the fiction section of a bookstore ?

Because it is time the Bible's God be defeated, just like Zeus and Ra and a bunch of other gods and goddesses before them.

Why does typing in all caps mean anger?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why does typing in all caps mean anger?

I've consulted several typing texts on the matter, including typing manuals for people with polydactyly, people with two left hands, and even for amputees who type with their feet and all agree that typing exclusively in capitol letters signifies anger due to a peculiar assistant of Gutenberg who used to chew lower case letters when he was in a state of wrath, apparently quite common for him, leaving him with nothing but capitols to set. History does not inform us of the reason he would choose to chew lower case letters but eschewed chewing those of the upper case. A choosy chewer.

Serendipitously this leads us to a perenial favorite quetion: " How much type would a typesetter chew if a typesetter could chew type?" Since, however, it has been asked 42.0045 times already in the course of this thread I will not repose it, choosing instead to ask: "If the Mona Lisa were alive today, and were authentically moaning, would it be because 1.) She was being tattooed, 2.) She was having a body piercing done, or 3.) Just got her credt card bill?"

 

[arunbg]

"If the Mona Lisa were alive today, and were authentically moaning, would it be because 1.) She was being tattooed, 2.) She was having a body piercing done, or 3.) Just got her credt card bill?"

No, no, no as per the paparazzi it's because on her 500th birthday, she found out that she had grown a streak of grey hair.
That made her say "Oh lame saint" referring to ... ?

 

[Moridin]

That made her say "Oh lame saint" referring to ... ?

One of the ancient Celtic writings on lunar astrology and how the starts exert profound influence on the choices you make in your life. Other interpretations, notably by Ricard M. Blosser, Ph.D in fairyology, has been that it actually represents a modern form of paralysis from analysis, which he experienced during an excavation of a medieval statues of the great Sweden King Gustav Wasa, who coincidentally liked to go skiing and, according to controversial sources that lacks independent verification, also was interested in the occult, especially the fine are of detecting small flying mythological female creatures using a broken stick.

By the way, how would one go about getting a Ph.D in fairyology?