Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[AnTiFreeze3]

It's open!

Which brings forth the stupid quetion,

What is 'it'?

 

[mal4mac]

Ingratiating Tyrants

Why did Nero need to be ingratiating?

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

Ingratiating Tyrants

Why did Nero need to be ingratiating?

Ah, Nero. Most typically a reference to the matricidal Roman Emperor who burned down most of Rome to build his own palace, but in this case it obviously refers to the acronym N.E.R.O, meaning North Eastern Ribs Organization.

Their story is a tragic one. Founded by James Whogimmy, a distant 13th cousin of Bono, the organization was created as a means to bring together in harmony the meat-eating lovers of downtown Minneapolis. In a jarring coincidence, the organization's opening in 1964 was temporally equal to all of Minneapolis becoming vegan, after an unprecedented migration of hippies flocked to, and acculturated Minneapolis to their will, primarily employing the tactic of setting loose "free-spirited" young women roaming the streets topless.

James Whogimmy became desparate. He was a tough, meat-eating man, and the one thing he loved was being taken from him. Unsure of any other course of action, James Whogimmy became... ingratiating, much to his dismay. He was friendly to the hippies, and in a very non-pedantic way, outlined the benefits of a good meal of meat, especially to the particularly skinny hippies. Membership skyrocketed, and to this day NERO remains ingratiating, in remembrance of James Whogimmy's realization that kindness makes people like you.

Many historians, however, still battle this quetion: What caused all of those hippies to migrate to Minneapolis?

definitely not my best work in this thread, but I'm rusty

 

[zoobyshoe]

What caused all of those hippies to migrate to Minneapolis?

The Great Hippie Migration of 1964, as it's now called, was not a migration at all, it was a purgative drive, and it was not intended to end in Minneapolis. The east to west hippie drive was intended to cross the whole country, scooping up all hippies along the way, and finally deposit them into the Pacific ocean. Things got confused when it was realized too late, that "hippies" as such, didn't quite exist yet in 1964, and the people being driven across the country were actually just people whose extreme hair length was due to political arguments with their barbers. Some were "on strike" against their barbers, some barbers were "on strike" against them.

It's interesting to note that a full 37.874% of the "hippies" were collected in Pennsylvania, which has more obnoxious barbers per capita than any other state. Another fact of note is that Pennsylvania had more Barbershop/Meatmarket combos than any other state at the time, which explains these Pennsylvania "hippies" aversion to meat. The other "hippies" had adopted this secondary form of protest to demonstrate solidarity.

Anyway, once the organizers of the drive realized they had no authentic "hippies," they released their captives in the vicinity of the Twin Cities one night, and slunk back home, never to be heard from again.

The "topless, free spirited, loose" women mentioned were also not actually hippies, mere "camp followers". They eventually reorganized themselves into the Minneapolis City Council.

This is definitely not my best work in this thread, but I'm rusty. That raises the quetion:

How can a non-ferrous entity become rusty?

 

[mal4mac]

Rub it against an old bulwark.

Is that a real wormhole I see above this edit box?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Is that a real wormhole I see above this edit box?

No, that wormhole is a replica carved from a gummy bear by master carver, George D. Wellbung, the "Living Treasure" of the little village of Montana, Kansas, U.S.A., who created such masterpieces as a bust of Will Smith carved from a green M&M, and a complete set of chess pieces carved out of Prozac tablets. Asked the secret of his long life, the 37 year old replied, "I suppose I've made it this far because of my skates." When asked what he meant by that he said, "You know...my skates. Hehe."

That raises, from the dead, the quetion:

Why is it so many innovators are not appreciated by penguin skinners?

 

[Bandersnatch]

The answer to that question is buried in the etymology of the word innovator. As documented by Martha Chomsky, the scandalous mother of Noam, from whom the famous linguist is rumoured to have first learned the mysteries of language, innovator comes from PIE word for egg yolk. "inn-" being the geminated operative prefix denoting the insides, and "ovator" standing for an egg(hence "ovation" - an act of throwing eggs at a performer). Thus, the clique of innovators reveals itself as a cabal of egg producers, naturally at odds with penguin skinners, whose practices are known to reduce birds' propensity for laying eggs. After centuries of bloody antagonism, the two groups appear beyond reconciliation.

A question of cosmology, pertinent to the topic at hand, that has been bothering me for a while is: in the time before time, when the universe had no time, how much time did it take for it to acquire enough time to start having time?

 

[Enigman]

A question of cosmology, pertinent to the topic at hand, that has been bothering me for a while is: in the time before time, when the universe had no time, how much time did it take for it to acquire enough time to start having time?

$$42 -i \pi$$

Why can't I be bothered to write a longer reply?

 

[mal4mac]

Why can't I be bothered to write a longer reply?

Because he's frumious.

Why were the borogoves mimsy?

 

[Enigman]

The Bandersnatch trampled over their nests.

What's the difference between a diamond and a tea tray?

 

[mal4mac]

The mentor with the lowest help score, 'cause he's a 'dim don'.

Are you a hate watcher?

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

Are you a hate watcher?

Ah, the hate watcher. Hugh Gomptin, self-ascribed cynic and misanthrope, made his watches devoid of any emotion sans hatred. This meant that 95% of his product wound up broken, and those watches that could be loosely described as functional were rumored, in lieu of sea shells, to whisper loathsome vitriol into the ear of any who held there.

Appropriately, his primary purchasers were masochists, looking for a subtle way to reach arousal in public, merely by placing a watch next to one's ear, in a most subtle maneuver reminiscent of handheld bluetooth devices: cellphones.

The beauty of the hate watcher is that, while his name is often whispered with reverence around campfires or within the comfortable confines of one's home, his true identity and appearance remain unknown. Truthfully, in our own convoluted ways, we're all hate watchers, living in the odious shadow cast by his unrivaled watchmaking existence. I am a hate watcher. You are a hate watcher. We are all hate watchers.

Thus begs the eternal and possibly preternatural quetion: What is the true identity of Hugh Gomptin, the pinnacle of hate watchers?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What is the true identity of Hugh Gomptin, the pinnacle of hate watchers?

Good quetion! The anser can probably best be obfuscated by first considering the history of his family. Let's go back to the Sino-Grecian conflict of 1798, when a Chinese Junk loaded with tea trays and diamonds collided with a Grecian oil tanker loaded with a bunch of Chinese junk, off the coast of Bolivia. It just so happens the captain of the ship was named Gomptin. The previous day his crew had mutinied and had thrown him overboard.

By coincidence the captain of the other boat had mutinied against his crew the day before and had thrown them overboard. Its easy to see that the discarded men would get together and retake one or another of the boats under the captaincy of the discarded captain. However, all those personages drowned.

Fast forward to B.C. 321 when obscure Greek mathematician, Herkemander was defenestrated for failing to provide proof. Herkemander had asserted that there existed a mathematical space, Oily Tea Tray Space, in which the difference between any object and a tea tray could be determined by subtracting the appropriate fraction of the crew of a Chinese junk from any individual named Gomptin. His followers were enraptured for a time, but he continually failed to provide proof, so one day they defenestrated him. But when they looked down from the window his body was nowhere to be seen. Instead they saw a pile of oily tea trays, part of the crew of a Chinese junk, a diamond, and a sea captain named Gomptin.

Gomptin proceeded to raise himself up off the plaza, but when he tried to walk, he slipped on wet soles and fell, cracking his head open on a sundial. He was heard to utter, "A pox on all timepieces!" and he collapsed, never to rise again.

But whatever happened to the coast of Bolivia?

 

[Beelzebub]

But whatever happened to the coast of Bolivia?

The aliens brought a gigantic vacuum cleaner and sucked it into another dimension.

Who is Homer Simpson?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Who is Homer Simpson?

No, this was settled many years ago: Who, is on first.

Speaking of whom, didn't Dr. Who have a run-in with Hugh?

 

[Bandersnatch]

Speaking of whom, didn't Dr. Who have a run-in with Hugh?

Huh?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Huh?

You can't ask a quetion until you have ansered the previously posted quetion.

 

[Beelzebub]

No, this was settled many years ago: Who, is on first.

Speaking of whom, didn't Dr. Who have a run-in with Hugh?

Yeah, they fought over marshmallows in Mongolian parliament.

So Dr Who is Dr Who?

 

[Bandersnatch]

That quetion was simultaneously a phonetically congruent answer to the previous one. It was super clever!

Don't you see?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Yeah, they fought over marshmallows in Mongolian parliament.

So Dr Who is Dr Who?

In most cases, yes. Exceptions to the rule are when Who's on first, or when Horton hears a Who.

When is who?

 

[Beelzebub]

That quetion was simultaneously a phonetically congruent answer to the previous one. It was super clever!

Don't you see?

I do see that quetion, even though that quetion was not aimed at me.

Who are you?

 

[Beelzebub]

In most cases, yes. Exceptions to the rule are when Who's on first, or when Horton hears a Who.

When is who?

Who is when, when when is who.

Is it syntactically correct to say that queen needs shaving?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Is it syntactically correct to say that queen needs shaving?

I think it's entirely dependent on what language you're speaking. The claim is often made here, "Math is a language." Let's stipulate it is, and translate the sentence, "That queen needs shaving," into math. Now, examine the syntax. You will find it is either correct or it isn't. Regardless of which, you have ansered your own quetion. You could just have googled it.

Is it googactically correct to search for syntax?

 

[Mr.maniac]

No its illegal
the rule was passed in underland by the mad hatter.


In a pokedex pokemon are categorized as "rat pokemon","lightening pokemon" etc
but there are no animals shown in the games or the show?

 

[Beelzebub]

No its illegal
the rule was passed in underland by the mad hatter

But where is the quetion?

 

[Mr.maniac]

sorry edited it again and again.

 

[Beelzebub]

sorry edited it again and again.

No problem :)

 

[Beelzebub]

In a pokedex pokemon are categorized as "rat pokemon","lightening pokemon" etc
but there are no animals shown in the games or the show?

Those pokemons are actually an army of midgets dressed up as pokemons in order to hide their real identity.

How much light does a light year have?

 

[Enigman]

None. A light year cubed in CMB on the other hand has $3.142 * 10^{56}$ photons.

Why does the sun rise in the north?

 

[Beelzebub]

Why does the sun rise in the north?

Because if it would rise in the south, Earth magnetic poles would coalesce and Earth would turn into a plate-shaped object.

Why doesn't a Makaki have a green arse instead of a red one?

 

[Bandersnatch]

As discovered by Martha Chomsky, the scandalous twin sister of Noam, from whom the famous linguist is rumoured to have stolen much of his early work, the SUN(Scandinavian Ubermenshen Namaste) uprisings are the direct result of income equality oppressing the Scandinavian CEOs.

Her meticulous measurements of popular dissatisfaction with income-induced self-aggrandizement during the particularly sunny year of 1982, proved as successful as they were disastrous, culminating in her much-publicised death of nicotine withdrawal soon after the publication of her seminal paper.

Still, the sad story directs a curious reader to an oft-overlooked quetion that warrants a closer investigation: why was 1982 a year-long event?

Edit: shiiite, you people type too fast

 

[Beelzebub]

Still, the sad story directs a curious reader to an oft-overlooked quetion that warrants a closer investigation: why was 1982 a year-long event?

Because that year there was a shift in the population of the green arsed makakis and they all became extinct.


Why isn't the sun blue?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why isn't the sun blue?

Not that I'm going to bother calculating a googlactically available factoid, but google tells me the sun isn't blue due to the Babylonian system of division of the 4 elements into the four colors; red, yellow, blue, and white. In cuneiform "blue" which is the color of sunlight, is easily and often misspelled as "kangaroo." When the Babylonians reread the misspelled tablets and discovered the sentence, "The sun is kangaroo," they decided it would be better refer to the sun as white in color, to avoid the worse confusion.

That reminds me of those spooky stories about how clocks are alleged to stop sometimes when their owner dies, right at the moment of their death. These stories go way back in history, even unto ancient times. The earliest recorded is the tale of Spamurabi, the Babylonian merchant, whose favorite sun dial was discovered to have stopped dead at the very moment of his death: 2: 41 P.M. No one was ever able to get it working again, and it remained for three and a half centuries, stuck at that time, until it was destroyed in an earthquake.

Is fremes possible?

 

[Beelzebub]

As discovered by Martha Chomsky, the scandalous twin sister of Noam, from whom the famous linguist is rumoured to have stolen much of his early work, the SUN(Scandinavian Ubermenshen Namaste) uprisings are the direct result of income equality oppressing the Scandinavian CEOs.

Her meticulous measurements of popular dissatisfaction with income-induced self-aggrandizement during the particularly sunny year of 1982, proved as successful as they were disastrous, culminating in her much-publicised death of nicotine withdrawal soon after the publication of her seminal paper.

Still, the sad story directs a curious reader to an oft-overlooked quetion that warrants a closer investigation: why was 1982 a year-long event?

Edit: shiiite, you people type too fast

Loool to what was this actually response?

Is fremes possible?

Not that fremes is possible, it's even logical and optional! From the dawn of mankind people were wondering what exactly is that, and if I knew as well, I could even give a more precise response.

Is the Moon made of Gorgonzola or Gauda?

 

[Bandersnatch]

Loool to what was this actually response?

Why the Sun rises in the north. It started as how much light is there..., but typing on a phone is slooow.

Is the Moon made of Gorgonzola or Gauda?

When Gorgon Zola, the hair-snakes-and-petrifying-gaze syndrome-afflicted brother of Emil Zola first set foot on the Moon, he smugly remarked: one small step for Gorgonzola, a giant leap for Gauda - alluding to the effortless victory he had thus achieved over his arch-nemesis.

Little did he know that Alphonse Gauda, esq. had stowed himself in the cargo bay. He would soon learn of Gauda's unwelcome presence, as the crafty opponent begun to undermine his efforts to rebuild civilization.

The elaborate mines and tunnels criss-crossing the foundations of above-ground battlements is what defines present-day urban landscape of Luna.

It is safe to say that without the bitter antagonism of these two great men, Moon wouldn't be the satellite we know and love. So don't ask which of them shaped the Moon into its present state - they both deserve the credit.

Moon is made of Gauda AND Gorgonzola.



Was there ever a sexier pelvic thrust than that performed by the late father Pierrogi in the Summer of '99 in the back of his ice cream van?