Avoiding homelessness on short timescale

[G037H3]

I don't know the laws in your area, but I'm a landlord in NYS and here the law says that if we take ANY money from a renter they can't be evicted for 30 days. So if you can manage evidence of payment for this month then your landlord will have to wait...that is if the law is similar in your area.

You need to try and learn to not let yourself get pushed around, and for goodness' sake you shouldn't be living in the shadows like this. If you have to pay cash for rent, make your landlord write out a receipt. I do it all the time for one of my tenants. Stick up for yourself man, and I think you'll find that if you show you can't be pushed around these thins are much less likely to happen to you.

I intend on asking for a receipt, the reason given will be for proof of expenditures.

Not let myself be pushed around? I was on the edge of death, and I met my former friend online. They supported me for 8 months in total, and had me fly across the country to where I am now. Of course, my judge of character was better than theirs, but the idea was to get me out here...

But I'm not a ostentatious or assertive person. I've commented elsewhere that I'm a natural D/s slave, etc. o.o I'm one of those freakishly kind people =]

 

[G037H3]

Look at the facts. You know she is going to evict you in three days. You know she is 'mad'. You don't know how to defend yourself. There is no reason to pay the rent. Just make some excuse to delay payment and get the hell out of there.

I know it sounds blunt, but I don't do the softly-softly approach.

I think if I give the $ (and get proof) that I won't be evicted, that she'll just do things to piss me off (if she goes into my room, however, it means war).

If I had somewhere to go for the same price (or for free, 'depressed TG slave/aspiring software developer needs room', ahahaha), that is what I would be doing. But I don't. =(

 

[Perspicacity]

I intend on asking for a receipt, the reason given will be for proof of expenditures.

Not let myself be pushed around? I was on the edge of death, and I met my former friend online. They supported me for 8 months in total, and had me fly across the country to where I am now. Of course, my judge of character was better than theirs, but the idea was to get me out here...

But I'm not a ostentatious or assertive person. I've commented elsewhere that I'm a natural D/s slave, etc. o.o I'm one of those freakishly kind people =]

You don't need to be a jerk to not be a push over. You also don't need a reason to ask for a receipt. You should ALWAYS get a receipt when you spend your money.

I don't know your whole story, so I can't comment on how you got into the situation—only what you're doing wrong NOW. You can't change the past, but you don't have to keep doing the same thing over and over again.

 

[G037H3]

You don't need to be a jerk to not be a push over. You also don't need a reason to ask for a receipt. You should ALWAYS get a receipt when you spend your money.

I don't know your whole story, so I can't comment on how you got into the situation—only what you're doing wrong NOW. You can't change the past, but you don't have to keep doing the same thing over and over again.

I turned 18, had a very small inheritance, lived like a hermit, figured out 'i r slave' and 'i r girl', turned 19, had no $, was suicidal, met 30 year old Canadian genderqueer person on a forum, we talk to each other like crazy, they start supporting me financially ($600 USD/mo for 8 month period, when their job wasn't great pay), we try to find solutions, can't really find any, they decide 'fine, you're moving to Seattle', they find room for me ASAP and buy me a ticket, i fully trust them, take plane from Midwest to Seattle, start living in room in Lynnwood 5 months ago, person is subleasing room to me, they made promises to the Canadian person regarding how they'd treat me, and promised that they'd give me 1 month notice for eviction, Canadian person comes to visit me for 1 week, 1 week after i get to WA, the week with them was the happiest week of my life, then they left me here, ALONE, and i wait for their return above everything else, waiting waiting waiting please come back, or let me be with you, roomie that leases room to me turns out to be a lying druggie, I'm still depressed, so i don't do much, Canadian person says I'm too emotionally needy and has a nervous breakdown, with them gone, the focus of my life is gone, so i spiral into despair and self-loathing, do nothing for a couple of months, decide that programming would be an ideal way to make $, this situation comes up.

 

[proof]

interesting...

 

[Math Is Hard]

I turned 18, had a very small inheritance, lived like a hermit, figured out 'i r slave' and 'i r girl', turned 19, had no $, was suicidal, met 30 year old Canadian genderqueer person on a forum, we talk to each other like crazy, they start supporting me financially ($600 USD/mo for 8 month period, when their job wasn't great pay), we try to find solutions, can't really find any, they decide 'fine, you're moving to Seattle', they find room for me ASAP and buy me a ticket, i fully trust them, take plane from Midwest to Seattle, start living in room in Lynnwood 5 months ago, person is subleasing room to me, they made promises to the Canadian person regarding how they'd treat me, and promised that they'd give me 1 month notice for eviction, Canadian person comes to visit me for 1 week, 1 week after i get to WA, the week with them was the happiest week of my life, then they left me here, ALONE, and i wait for their return above everything else, waiting waiting waiting please come back, or let me be with you, roomie that leases room to me turns out to be a lying druggie, I'm still depressed, so i don't do much, Canadian person says I'm too emotionally needy and has a nervous breakdown, with them gone, the focus of my life is gone, so i spiral into despair and self-loathing, do nothing for a couple of months, decide that programming would be an ideal way to make $, this situation comes up.

Sounds like you didn't want to take control of your life, so you quickly handed the reigns over to someone else.

 

[G037H3]

Sounds like you didn't want to take control of your life, so you quickly handed the reigns over to someone else.

Did you miss the part 'i r slave', in a D/s sense?...

 

[JaredJames]

I hate to say self-inflicted, but it really does appear that way.

Perhaps not a deliberate act on your part. Although from reading the above it does seem you didn't try too hard.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Did you miss the part 'i r slave', in a D/s sense?...

No. But I can only understand that as recreational activity, not a way to live one's life.

 

[G037H3]

I hate to say self-inflicted, but it really does appear that way.

Perhaps not a deliberate act on your part. Although from reading the above it does seem you didn't try too hard.

Sort of true.

 

[G037H3]

No. But I can only understand that as recreational activity, not a way to live one's life.

Then you don't know much about it. o.o

I'm not a very functional person on my own, it has little to do with experience/maturity, and everything to do with the parallel facts that I'm a): impractically minded, falling into the bog while gazing at the stars ;) , and b): have a huge hole in my life when I can't focus on another person.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Then you don't know much about it. o.o

I'll agree with you there. But if you are choosing a lifestyle in which you are always submissive and controlled by other people, it doesn't make sense that you get upset when they don't treat you like you want. The whole point is that they get to choose - to abandon you, to be nasty to you, whatever they want.

I'm not a very functional person on my own, it has little to do with experience/maturity, and everything to do with the parallel facts that I'm a): impractically minded, falling into the bog while gazing at the stars ;) , and b): have a huge hole in my life when I can't focus on another person.

Something that you do learn through experience and maturity is that people that you love and count on will leave. Sometimes it's voluntary, and sometimes they die. At some point, you have to learn to stand on your own two stilettos if you want to survive.

 

[JaredJames]

have a huge hole in my life when I can't focus on another person.

I'll be honest, you do seem a bit 'needy' the way you're talking here.

 

[G037H3]

I'll agree with you there. But if you are choosing a lifestyle in which you are always submissive and controlled by other people, it doesn't make sense that you get upset when they don't treat you like you want. The whole point is that they get to choose - to abandon you, to be nasty to you, whatever they want.

Yes, I realize that, and I know that I make myself very vulnerable to those who I am in a relationship with. The actual concept of it is a trade, though: security for me, and a chance to give of myself, in exchange for submission to them. Security to not worry about maddening mundane normal things is something that I greatly desire. And giving myself fulfills me emotionally. If a person resonates with my personal philosophy, my willingness to give to them ranks very highly in a comparison between I and other styled or self-styled 'slaves', etc. The point being that I know what I want, I know how I optimally function, and I know that it is a need, not simply a sort of interest or preference.

Something that you do learn through experience and maturity is that people that you love and count on will leave. Sometimes it's voluntary, and sometimes they die. At some point, you have to learn to stand on your own two stilettos if you want to survive.

Well, yes. That's why I'm learning Python instead of going out trying to meet someone that takes an interest in me.

 

[G037H3]

I'll be honest, you do seem a bit 'needy' the way you're talking here.

It depends on your perspective and norms. If you were a person who felt a great need to organize and structure another person, what they wear, what they eat, etc., then I would sound desirable.

It's sort of like being an uncut diamond. Anyone could try to cut me (create personal growth through disintegration), but only someone who actually sees my shape and size can have any hope at bringing out my shine and shade.

 

[Vanadium 50]

At the risk of sounding harsh, it sounds like you are making choices, and don't like the consequences. In life, you don't get to choose a course of action and also to choose the consequences. Once you haved selected a particular course of action, you have also selected the consequences. If you want to achieve or avoid a certain set of consequences, you need to select your course of action accordingly.

In particular, you seem to want to choose to let other people make major life decisions for you (e.g. where to live) but then don't like the consequences.

 

[JaredJames]

I'm curious why you felt it was right to allow a stranger to support you all that time? $600 per month is a lot of money. From what I've read, it doesn't appear you've done anything to try and support yourself and are now unhappy that they refuse to anymore. A bit selfish if you will.

From what I've seen, it appears you want someone else to work, tell you how to live, control you, and in return you 'dedicate' yourself to them? Basically, you want to be a 'kept' man/woman.

I do agree with Vanadium above.

Again, I do realize this is all very harsh, but I think a reality shock is needed. Get a job, get a decent place of your own, start again.

 

[G037H3]

At the risk of sounding harsh, it sounds like you are making choices, and don't like the consequences. In life, you don't get to choose a course of action and also to choose the consequences. Once you haved selected a particular course of action, you have also selected the consequences. If you want to achieve or avoid a certain set of consequences, you need to select your course of action accordingly.

In particular, you seem to want to choose to let other people make major life decisions for you (e.g. where to live) but then don't like the consequences.

I'm not complaining about that decision. I'm in a place with more opportunities now, and I wouldn't have been able to achieve it on my own. I am aware that the instability of my situation is *partially* my fault. I say partially because the deferral of life responsibility means that the blame is not just mine. Overall I'm happy with the direction I'm headed in. Some main goals in the next 6 months would be:

*find entry-level job
*move somewhere else (first step if free)
*start counseling for gender/depression
*become good enough at Python to be employed for it
*D/s relationship or owner

in roughly that order. Maybe uni after that. I know what I want to do. It's the loneliness tearing away at me, and the implementation issues surrounding the goals, that are constant obstacles.

If someone has a great deal of control over my life, and knows me very well, and instructs me to perform task A, if I try my best and fail, then it was a mistake of theirs, as they should know my abilities considering the dynamic.

 

[rootX]

Cut off the internet, stop thinking; start applying to jobs, start volunteering. Get some hobbies. Meet people.

 

[G037H3]

I'm curious why you felt it was right to allow a stranger to support you all that time? $600 per month is a lot of money. From what I've read, it doesn't appear you've done anything to try and support yourself and are now unhappy that they refuse to anymore. A bit selfish if you will.

From what I've seen, it appears you want someone else to work, tell you how to live, control you, and in return you 'dedicate' yourself to them? Basically, you want to be a 'kept' man/woman.

I do agree with Vanadium above.

Again, I do realize this is all very harsh, but I think a reality shock is needed. Get a job, get a decent place of your own, start again.

They wanted to help me, and in return I was obedient. It seems pretty straightforward to me. ._. I would have committed suicide without their intervention into my life. The reason I haven't gotten a job is that the week with them was so wonderful in contrast to the rest of my life that I despaired when they left me, and quickly became inconsolable after it was clear that the relationship had devolved away from direction, and more towards advice. Their visit touched off so much life within me that I never realized I had, and when they left the feeling was just as bad, in the other direction.

'Kept' is a subset of 'slave' =P (Idk how to do the subset notation, perhaps Unicode?)

I've already received my "reality shock". The problem is that I have essentially no $, so if I can't get a job in the next two weeks, my situation will be very bad.

 

[G037H3]

Cut off the internet, stop thinking; start applying to jobs, start volunteering. Get some hobbies. Meet people.

I have no IRL friends, if I stopped talking to the couple of people I chat with online, my mental health would most likely quickly deteriorate.

As for thinking, I can't ever stop. Philosophy is the highest goal in life; didn't you know?

Volunteering? I need $. :/

Hobbies = um...none?

Meet people? People are painfully ignorant and superficial. :(

 

[JaredJames]

As for thinking, I can't ever stop. Philosophy is the highest goal in life; didn't you know?

There are far better things you could be doing with your life than sitting around pondering what I consider worthless and unhelpful questions. Your plan to go into programming is brilliant. Focus on it and make a true career goal.

Volunteering? I need $. :/

Intern placements can lead to full time jobs.

Hobbies = um...none?

Get some. You like programming / want to get into it, there are local groups that meet once a month where I live that enjoy the subject. I'm sure America has them too.

Meet people? People are painfully ignorant and superficial. :(

With that attiude you are never going to meet anyone, let alone make friends.

Also, regarding the whole "partially your fault" thing in regards to your current situation. It is all your fault. Whether you choose to accept it or not, you made the decisions. You chose to follow the path that has led you to where you are now and there is no one to blame except yourself if you aren't happy with the outcome. You chose to be dependent on this person, you chose to become emotionally involved, you chose to rely heavily on them to survive. The fact they have now turned around and left is simply one of lifes "sh*t happens" cases. It is the fact you decided to be so dependent on them that has left you where you are now.

My view is easy on this subject - the only person you can truly trust to help you is yourself. The moment you start becoming dependent on others, you are simply try to shed responsibility.

If there's one trait I've found common throughout all people I've met, it's the constant searching for someone else to blame when things (start to) go wrong.

 

[Jasongreat]

I am aware that the instability of my situation is *partially* my fault. I say partially because the deferral of life responsibility means that the blame is not just mine.

The instability of your situation is all your fault, if you choose to defer responsibility to others, it was a choice you made and is therefore all your fault. These are the consequences of your choices Vandium50 spoke of in his post.

You have said you like philosophy, may I suggest Marcus Aurelious' meditations, Epictetus, and Nietzche, it might help you to read some masters(imo) of philosophy before you start trying to come up with your own.

 

[G037H3]

There are far better things you could be doing with your life than sitting around pondering what I consider worthless and unhelpful questions. Your plan to go into programming is brilliant. Focus on it and make a true career goal.

My buddies the Ancient Greeks disagree. :) But I know I have to focus on dull external things for now. Blah And yeah, programming is the most ideal of any job/career path I can come up with. o.o

Intern placements can lead to full time jobs.

In two weeks? -_-

Get some. You like programming / want to get into it, there are local groups that meet once a month where I live that enjoy the subject. I'm sure America has them too.

Meh, I dunno.

With that attiude you are never going to meet anyone, let alone make friends.

When the difference in intellect between two people reaches a certain range, it's impossible to have a real conversation.

Also, regarding the whole "partially your fault" thing in regards to your current situation. It is all your fault. Whether you choose to accept it or not, you made the decisions. You chose to follow the path that has led you to where you are now and there is no one to blame except yourself if you aren't happy with the outcome. You chose to be dependent on this person, you chose to become emotionally involved, you chose to rely heavily on them to survive. The fact they have now turned around and left is simply one of lifes "sh*t happens" cases. It is the fact you decided to be so dependent on them that has left you where you are now.

If a general knowingly orders soldiers onto a minefield and they all die, is it the fault of the soldiers?

My view is easy on this subject - the only person you can truly trust to help you is yourself. The moment you start becoming dependent on others, you are simply try to shed responsibility.

You're sort of right. It isn't an absolute, however.

If there's one trait I've found common throughout all people I've met, it's the constant searching for someone else to blame when things (start to) go wrong.

When I say 'submission', I don't mean it as a normal person does. I mean that I wish to open myself up to disintegration. It's like needing to jump into a furnace, because I know that the result will be a better self.

 

[G037H3]

The instability of your situation is all your fault, if you choose to defer responsibility to others, it was a choice you made and is therefore all your fault. These are the consequences of your choices Vandium50 spoke of in his post.

You have said you like philosophy, may I suggest Marcus Aurelious' meditations, Epictetus, and Nietzche, it might help you to read some masters(imo) of philosophy before you start trying to come up with your own.

I like how you assume I don't read philosophy. I'm a major ancient Graecophile.

 

[JaredJames]

My buddies the Ancient Greeks disagree. :) But I know I have to focus on dull external things for now. Blah And yeah, programming is the most ideal of any job/career path I can come up with. o.o

And philosophy kept the Ancient Greeks here to this day...

In two weeks? -_-

Got to try something. Just throwing ideas around.

Meh, I dunno.

Again, just ideas. But you really do sound disinterested in meeting people. If this is your attitude to social events/gatherings I suggest you stop complaining that you don't have any friends.

When the difference in intellect between two people reaches a certain range, it's impossible to have a real conversation.

Incorrect. I have some extremely 'dumb' friends and some amazingly clever ones. I can have conversation with both groups very easily. It's only when one party starts making statements about a subject the other party is knowledgeable on that things can become problematic. And yes, that works either way around.

If a general knowingly orders soldiers onto a minefield and they all die, is it the fault of the soldiers?

When you choose to join the army, you accept the consequences and the risk involved. The decision may not be a good one, the general may be in trouble for it and is certainly responsible for the outcome, but the risk of you being in such a situation was taken by you when you signed up. You chose to put yourself in a situation where you may have to walk through a minefield (or any other dangerous situation).
It's the same as joining a SWAT team, being ordered to storm a building and being shot. The responsibility of the call may be with someone else, but you accepted the risks of the job when you signed up for it. You made the choice put yourself in the line of fire and you know full well what the consequences might be.
You are looking for a scapegoat here. You are trying to put the blame on someone else.

You're sort of right. It isn't an absolute, however.

The only actions you can predict with relative accuracy are your own. Even people you feel you know well can surprise you. As predictable as you may feel someone is, it's only when under extreme circumstances that you find out who they truly are and if they will help you.
When you start putting responsibility onto someone else, you are trying to give it up. Call it a feel good method. "I'm leaving the decision up to you, therefore if it goes wrong it's your fault." It's a crude analogy but that's pretty much how it is.

 

[G037H3]

And philosophy kept the Ancient Greeks here to this day...

Have you ever used logic? Thank Aristotle.

Got to try something. Just throwing ideas around.

>_>

Again, just ideas. But you really do sound disinterested in meeting people. If this is your attitude to social events/gatherings I suggest you stop complaining that you don't have any friends.

I'm disinterested in meeting *normal* people. I'm sure there are a few people in Seattle that I'd be interested in being friends with.

Incorrect. I have some extremely 'dumb' friends and some amazingly clever ones. I can have conversation with both groups very easily. It's only when one party starts making statements about a subject the other party is knowledgeable on that things can become problematic. And yes, that works either way around.

No, it's correct. It's my life experience. "Don't use all those big words, do you think you're better than me or something?", "blah blah blah democracy", "blah blah blah unity and diversity", "blah blah blah oxymorons everywhere blah blah blah".

When you choose to join the army, you accept the consequences and the risk involved. The decision may not be a good one, the general may be in trouble for it and is certainly responsible for the outcome, but the risk of you being in such a situation was taken by you when you signed up. You chose to put yourself in a situation where you may have to walk through a minefield (or any other dangerous situation).
It's the same as joining a SWAT team, being ordered to storm a building and being shot. The responsibility of the call may be with someone else, but you accepted the risks of the job when you signed up for it. You made the choice put yourself in the line of fire and you know full well what the consequences might be.
You are looking for a scapegoat here. You are trying to put the blame on someone else.

You don't get the point of a D/s relationship. Look it up. :/

The only actions you can predict with relative accuracy are your own. Even people you feel you know well can surprise you. As predictable as you may feel someone is, it's only when under extreme circumstances that you find out who they truly are and if they will help you.
When you start putting responsibility onto someone else, you are trying to give it up. Call it a feel good method. "I'm leaving the decision up to you, therefore if it goes wrong it's your fault." It's a crude analogy but that's pretty much how it is.

See above, also see my previous post regarding disintegration.

 

[JaredJames]

You don't get the point of a D/s relationship. Look it up. :/

You agree to enter into the relationship, therefore you accept any consequences that come from it. What happens once you're in it has already been agreed to by you entering into it.

As much as I want to respond to the rest of your post, the thread is somewhat derailed. I'm going to back out and let it get back on topic. Done way too much derailing recently.

 

[dmatador]

Tough times or not, you love to complain. That is certain.

 

[G037H3]

Tough times or not, you love to complain. That is certain.

How am I complaining? =_=