Avoiding homelessness on short timescale

[story645]

No, it's not from abuse. -_- Vanilla people commonly make strange assumptions such as this.

I think it might stem from the abuse 'cause abuse victims are often dominated, controlled and manipulated by their abusers, sometimes to the point of losing their self-identity, and often develop a pathological need to please their abuser.(http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=32347 ) As people often model the relationships they see or had growing up, I'm afraid that you've fallen into that pattern and that's why you're seeking out that lifestyle choice. If you hadn't been abused then I wouldn't worry so much that it's linked up, but given your background yeah I think you should explore it a bit in therapy. Granted, I don't have a strong background in clinical psych, which is why I encourage you to talk with someone who does.

So an opportunity to make someone else happy will result in more done then if I'm on my own

Been there, done that, got so damn burned out I didn't like people anymore. I don't encourage it. Also you're not truly that way if you need the other person to direct you in how to make them happy, 'cause then you're just a breathing doll and those are only fun for so long. What you don't seem to get is that to truly make someone happy, you've got to be happy too. You said that your friend bailed on you 'cause the friend thought that you were too emotionally needy and that's likely 'cause you don't know how to function on your own.

If I can't get a job, I'm just going to program all day until I'm worth throwing a project at.

You need to build up some type of resume to get programming jobs too, as they're competitive and all.

 

[PhDorBust]

Just call police on drug addict.

 

[JaredJames]

Just call police on drug addict.

And when they release her?

 

[Mech_Engineer]

You need to build up some type of resume to get programming jobs too, as they're competitive and all.

Not to mention, you'll be competing against people with college degrees in computer science. If you really want to be a programmer, you need to get yourself a job and consider getting at a minimum a few certifications in programming languages, or maybe an associate's or trade-school degree.

 

[G037H3]

You?

no, not me

 

[G037H3]

Hi Goethe, I'm afraid I understand perfectly well and I know where it leads.

Saying "I am x, y and z" and this is it is a "choice of one" and can only lead in one (bad?) direction. Saying "My situation is x, y and z, but could it be p, q and r?" means there is somebody there making a choice even if the choice will be "x, y and z".

This D/s thing - if you wanted a situation where you did both the "D" and the "s" I could see that as less harmful to you and more consensual from you, but (I believe) you only do the "s" thing ("choice of one") and you are leaving yourself open for abuse (I apologise if my language is crude here I don't fully understand D/s, I do fully understand the "s" feelings that may be behind them).

I know these "s" feelings can be very strong, and can seem like everything at the expense of everything else. This is the aspect of them that needs challenging.

You seem to be choosing your location dependent on "s". Choose it dependent on job, or at least not on "s".

I hope you are clear that this is not linked to abuse, I could not comment as I don't know enough, but if you are that's good, I hope it's not just a false horizon because your hopes have been lifted in Portland.

Agree with Story645, and emphasize that you should go for the counselling and thrash this out. You have nothing to lose doing that.

I can handle stress now, that is why I can continue posting here.

Quote - "The posters here seem to believe that there is only one form of submission, and that is submission in a basic, societal sense. There is another, in which a person can open themselves to development and change, while (in my case, especially) being much more functional. I care about others; I don't really care about myself. So an opportunity to make someone else happy will result in more done then if I'm on my own."

Like I say I don't know much about D/s. A lot of years ago I saw a TV programme where a couple in a D/s relationship were interviewed. The ("s") guy was sat at some womans feet saying basically what you did and it just didn't look right. I suspect you would do the same without the bat of an eyelid.

That you can change for the better seems to me to be illusory. You will stay as you are and never changed. You have arrived at your destination at ?years old.

You have to be able to care about YOURSELF FIRST before you can begin to care about anyone else. How can you "Do unto others as..." if you don't know who you are (and I don't believe you do, but I may be wrong). CARE ABOUT YOURSELF, that's important (capitals for emphasis not shouting).

You seem to be making someone else happy at your own expense, which adds credibility to the notion that the source of this is abuse.

Hope you get a job. Take care.

John

If my situation is viewed in terms of only (or primarily) caring about myself, then the issue of functionality comes up. If I'm too depressed, disorganized, and lacking of self-discipline, then it doesn't really matter how much I *want* to do something, as it will fail regardless. I'm conscious of my weaknesses, and seek to play to my strengths while developing. I doubt I'll be fully mature until about 30 or so.

If the person has connections and can help me get a job, that shows that getting a job in Portland > rushing to get a job here.

I know that none of this is for certain, they and I are in a negotiation phase, and I've already communicated all of the things that I won't take from them, &c.

I'm sure it's not linked to abuse. I'm in my head all the time; I'm bad at fending for myself. I have more important things to think about than $ and such. >_>

I intend on counseling, when it is feasible.

 

[G037H3]

I think it might stem from the abuse 'cause abuse victims are often dominated, controlled and manipulated by their abusers, sometimes to the point of losing their self-identity, and often develop a pathological need to please their abuser.(http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=32347 ) As people often model the relationships they see or had growing up, I'm afraid that you've fallen into that pattern and that's why you're seeking out that lifestyle choice. If you hadn't been abused then I wouldn't worry so much that it's linked up, but given your background yeah I think you should explore it a bit in therapy. Granted, I don't have a strong background in clinical psych, which is why I encourage you to talk with someone who does.


Been there, done that, got so damn burned out I didn't like people anymore. I don't encourage it. Also you're not truly that way if you need the other person to direct you in how to make them happy, 'cause then you're just a breathing doll and those are only fun for so long. What you don't seem to get is that to truly make someone happy, you've got to be happy too. You said that your friend bailed on you 'cause the friend thought that you were too emotionally needy and that's likely 'cause you don't know how to function on your own.


You need to build up some type of resume to get programming jobs too, as they're competitive and all.

Not everyone that's into BDSM/D/s is there because of a history of abuse. Maybe 15-20%. I have natural tendencies, and others have similar natural tendencies. It's different than the norm; that doesn't mean it's automatically bad or wrong.

By about 6 I had emotionally detached myself from others to avoid more frustration with the failings of others. If someone is capable of receiving me, then I should not treat them in the same manner that I treat others.

 

[G037H3]

Not to mention, you'll be competing against people with college degrees in computer science. If you really want to be a programmer, you need to get yourself a job and consider getting at a minimum a few certifications in programming languages, or maybe an associate's or trade-school degree.

median web programmer salary is $85K, and few people are actually good at programming, so I'm not super worried about being able to find freelance work (I don't want to work in a corporate environment, obviously)

being talented+having knowledge >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> certifications and some small degree

programming is a craft, it's about creating things; if I am naturally talented, and work hard enough at it, then getting projects should not be a problem

 

[story645]

median web programmer salary is $85K, and few people are actually good at programming, so I'm not super worried about being able to find freelance work

*headdesk* Uh, the real world doesn't work that way, 'specially since the dot com bubble crash led to tons of web programmers with lots of experience being out and about without a job. The best paying web programming jobs are still in-house and consultant work, both of which require you to get out their and meet with people. Go to the http://www.meetup.com/Seattle-Py/ meetup and listen to their job announcements and the requirements different companies have. You'll quickly find that most of the places that might be willing to hire you are start-ups with wonky stability that don't always have seed capital or non-profits where you'll work for next to nothing. Also, web programming isn't trivial what ever you may think. Right now the market is super-saturated with people who can code, so most of the well paying jobs either want a CS degree, which shows that the person may know about things like architecture, good software practices, writing maintainable code, etc, or a degree in a domain related field (math, art, etc.). Also, just about every decently paying job wants you to be fluent in multiple programming languages, frameworks, and technologies.

If you really want to be a programmer, you need to get yourself a job and consider getting at a minimum a few certifications in programming languages, or maybe an associate's or trade-school degree.

That doesn't even work anymore for many jobs. My mom get hers by doing the night school thing and having a BA related to the specific type of programming she does, but she says that now her company almost exclusively hires CS people, an attitude I've been seeing all over the place.

Not everyone that's into BDSM/D/s is there because of a history of abuse.

I fully agree with you, for lots of people it's their kink or their lifestyle choice depending on how hardcore they are (minor S/M is a staple of the romance industry); I'm just throwing out that it might be a factor for you because of your background.

If I'm too depressed, disorganized, and lacking of self-discipline, then it doesn't really matter how much I *want* to do something, as it will fail regardless.

Therapy and getting out of a stressful environment! Seriously, speaking from lots of personal experience here.

 

[Math Is Hard]

median web programmer salary is $85K, and few people are actually good at programming, so I'm not super worried about being able to find freelance work (I don't want to work in a corporate environment, obviously)

Interesting. I only have a handful of friends at that salary level or higher, but they are at the management level, supervising other programmers. All have computer science degrees and about 15-20 years of work experience.

 

[G037H3]

Interesting. I only have a handful of friends at that salary level or higher, but they are at the management level, supervising other programmers. All have computer science degrees and about 15-20 years of work experience.

I currently live on less than $10K a year, so $30K for 20-30 hours a week is okay. :) I don't intend on working full time, I have studies, which are more important.

 

[xxChrisxx]

being talented+having knowledge >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> certifications and some small degree

I have some small questions about this (I think I know the answers I just want to know I'm right)

Do you mind letting us know how old you are? (some people don't want to that's ok)
Have you ever had a proper (full time work) job before?


As the above is simply... lol.


The fact of the matter is companies are usually conservative, they don't like new, they like track record. So being talented is indeed more important than qualifications in the long run. However you must have demonstrated talent in the setting you wish to work in before anyone will hire you for a job.

Then comes the catch, to demonstrate talent you must have already been hired. To get hired you must have a tack record of talent. The way to 'get your foot in the door' is qualifications.

The only way to cirvumvent this process is to get the know someone on the inside and have a good network of contacts. As 'who you know' trumps just about everything else.

You may not like it, or agree, but that's the way the world works.

 

[G037H3]

I have some small questions about this (I think I know the answers I just want to know I'm right)

Do you mind letting us know how old you are? (some people don't want to that's ok)
Have you ever had a proper (full time work) job before?


As the above is simply... lol.


The fact of the matter is companies are usually conservative, they don't like new, they like track record. So being talented is indeed more important than qualifications in the long run. However you must have demonstrated talent in the setting you wish to work in before anyone will hire you for a job.

Then comes the catch, to demonstrate talent you must have already been hired. To get hired you must have a tack record of talent. The way to 'get your foot in the door' is qualifications.

The only way to cirvumvent this process is to get the know someone on the inside and have a good network of contacts. As 'who you know' trumps just about everything else.

You may not like it, or agree, but that's the way the world works.

19.
No.

I don't want to work as part of a company, other than maybe as a consultant.

 

[xxChrisxx]

19.
No.

I don't want to work as part of a company, other than maybe as a consultant.

Then you will most definitely need a good track record (which you don't have), infinitely more so than working in a company, who will train you.

There is a reason almost everyone has the same career path for a professional job.
Uni -> Intern/Graduate job -> Management/Senior role -> Consultancy.

Consultancy is where the money is, however it's brutally competitive and people with many years (in some cases decades) experience are all fighting for the same job.


Ask yourself, and answer honestly.

Would you hire a 'consultant' (or indeed anyone) with no formal training, no track record of completing a job?


I'm really not trying to piss on your bonfire here, but you really need to take a good look at what your goals are.

 

[Danger]

If you are capable of moving to Canada, and can occasionally wash a dish, I offer you free rent. I need home-care, which AISH is willing to pay for. Buy your own groceries, don't give me **** for lying around naked, and we could have a deal.

edit: Sorry, but you will also have to watch my choice of TV shows. I have 3 TV's, but they all run off of the same cable box.

 

[G037H3]

Then you will most definitely need a good track record (which you don't have), infinitely more so than working in a company, who will train you.

There is a reason almost everyone has the same career path for a professional job.
Uni -> Intern/Graduate job -> Management/Senior role -> Consultancy.

Consultancy is where the money is, however it's brutally competitive and people with many years (in some cases decades) experience are all fighting for the same job.


Ask yourself, and answer honestly.

Would you hire a 'consultant' (or indeed anyone) with no formal training, no track record of completing a job?


I'm really not trying to piss on your bonfire here, but you really need to take a good look at what your goals are.

There are other ways of showing capability. Such as putting a resume online in the form of completed programs. I would probably make puzzle games and such.

 

[G037H3]

If you are capable of moving to Canada, and can occasionally wash a dish, I offer you free rent. I need home-care, which AISH is willing to pay for. Buy your own groceries, don't give me **** for lying around naked, and we could have a deal.

edit: Sorry, but you will also have to watch my choice of TV shows. I have 3 TV's, but they all run off of the same cable box.

I can't immediately move to Canada. Also, if I moved to Canada, I wouldn't have any $ for food. And I hate TV.

Thanks for the offer, though.

 

[xxChrisxx]

There are other ways of showing capability. Such as putting a resume online in the form of completed programs. I would probably make puzzle games and such.

You can argue about it all you want but people don't care unless you've done work before. You may think it should work like that, but in the working world it just doesn't.

The first question when someone looks at your CV is: Are you qualified? If the answer is no then the process just stops.

Once you've passed all the tick boxes, then they look at how good you are.


So keep doing what you are doing as it's not wasting time, but don't be surprised when you find out that you need to take a qualification to even be considered for a job.

 

[Danger]

I can't immediately move to Canada. Also, if I moved to Canada, I wouldn't have any $ for food. And I hate TV.

Thanks for the offer, though.

Oh, bummer...
On the bright side, though, I've been hoping for a female attendant.

 

[JaredJames]

I have a family member who is an amazing mechanic. Truly is the most talented and knowledgeable person I have ever seen when it comes to cars. He makes other mechanics look rubbish, especially those in big auto repiar companies. (Plus they are honest about their prices and don't invent faults to boost the cost).

They have 30+ years experience and are incredibly talented, and yet they cannot get a decent paying job. The reason, they don't have any qualifications. There's nothing to show they 'know what they know'. As such, unless the person hiring knows them well, it's very much a case of taking their word that the knowledge and skill is there. They're best paying job was over the last 5 years where they ran their own garage for a while, earning around £10,000 per year. Which is appauling for someone with his capabilities.

Goethe, unless you have qualifications it is only your word that says you know how to program. Given you have no previous jobs or work experience your word on this subject really doesn't mean sh*t.

There are numerous pages here now Goethe, please re-read them and try to take some of it in. Even after all of this you are still arrogant and overly confident.

Goethe's >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Reality

Ya with me?

With so many people, qualified people, out there. Having no qualifications only serves to hinder your chances. You would be better off sorting yourself out with a basic job and place to live and then attending classes on the subject. At least then you have something behind you.

As someone said above, the first question is "are you qualified". If you fail at that hurdle the interview from that point on is worthless.

Remember, a resume is you telling someone you can do the job, a qualification is somone else telling someone you can do the job. There's a big difference.

 

[Mech_Engineer]

I currently live on less than $10K a year, so $30K for 20-30 hours a week is okay. :) I don't intend on working full time, I have studies, which are more important.

At 30 hours a week, that's $19.23/hr assuming no vacation time ($28.85/hr for 20 hrs/wk). There's no way you're going to get that with your attitude and skill set. Try for around $10/hr, and it might happen... but it won't be programming!

 

[JaredJames]

There are jobs on the net for independent programmers to bid on. Some are relatively simple, others are quite complex.

The simple ones are generally bid at around $50. Based on their descriptions, I'd say they involve at least 5 hours of work for someone fairly competent in coding. This figure would be at least trippled for a beginner.

Goethe doesn't seem to realize how competitive the market is and seems to think $30,000 per year for someone without qualifications is a realistic figure. It isn't.

I find myself constantly getting annoyed in this thread because Goethe is ignoring all advice given and so arrogant to the reality of things that failure is almost guaranteed.

We say you need to do x, y and z, Goethe agrees. 2 days and ten posts later, all advice has been ignored, x, y and z are out the window and we're going ar*e backwards. It's ridiculous.

 

[story645]

I would probably make puzzle games and such.

You and every other high school grad who took basic and thinks they know how to code. That's such a bare minimum that it's basically what my lab requires before we let students touch any of the ongoing project code; it won't get you far when you're trying to find a job in the real world, especially in tech saturated markets like Portland and Seattle.

As for possible quals: Design and maintain a website that has over a 50K users, contribute heavily to some very popular open source projects, be a database admin for some non-profit, publish some really popular iphone and facebook apps. Things of that sort sometimes count, especially if the company is a start up or heavily ensconced in tech culture or just happens to really need someone to work on mobile web apps. But most of the above require serious time, decent coding skills, and answering to/playing well with others.

 

[Evo]

median web programmer salary is $85K, and few people are actually good at programming, so I'm not super worried about being able to find freelance work (I don't want to work in a corporate environment, obviously)

being talented+having knowledge >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> certifications and some small degree

programming is a craft, it's about creating things; if I am naturally talented, and work hard enough at it, then getting projects should not be a problem

I don't know who told you those salary figures, but here is what you can expect in seattle being a full time web designer.

http://swz.salary.com/salarywizard/...bSearchByOption=0&txtKeyword=Designer+I+-+Web

Freelance, you'll be lucky to make a fraction of that as an unknown teenager.

 

[dmatador]

Who are you to say that there are few good programmers out there? That is so idiotic it hurts. Can PF please stop giving into this self-serving pity party thrown by the self-proclaimed (from what I can see, not so) genius?

 

[G037H3]

The person just said that it wouldn't work out. You guys were pretty much right. I'm sorry for arguing.

 

[cobalt124]

Hi Goethe, I'll deal with the last post first:

"The person just said that it wouldn't work out. You guys were pretty much right. I'm sorry for arguing."

Being right sucks sometimes and as far as I'm concerned no apology is necessary. You do need to get a job and sort stuff out and the like, have another read of the thread, there's lots of good advice here.

And now the rest (again up to you take it or leave it):

"If I'm too depressed, disorganized, and lacking of self-discipline, then it doesn't really matter how much I *want* to do something, as it will fail regardless" - this is true of anything you try to do, such as getting your ideal D/s relationship. This is why you should stop everything and take stock, get therapy/counselling, make sure you are in a position where you have real choices (not choice of one).

"I'm conscious of my weaknesses, and seek to play to my strengths while developing. I doubt I'll be fully mature until about 30 or so." - this smacks of avoidance. I guarantee that when you reach 30 at best you will be the same as you are now, and the longer you leave this and the older you get, the more difficult it will be to deal with, as you will be more set in your ways and more arrogant and justified (personal experience here).

"I'm sure it's not linked to abuse" - I strongly advise you talk to a therapist/counsellor about this.

"I intend on counseling, when it is feasible." - the only feasible time is now, anything else is procrastination.

"I'm in my head all the time" - I personally think this is a very important observation that needs attending to. You cannot live the whole of your life in your head, it cannot work and it was never meant to work like that. Take that from someone who has spent the majority of his life insisting that was the way to live and has just come to realize that it is not and has left a long trail of destruction behind him. Facing up and changing it isn't as bad as you think, once you take the first step and face up properly.

"I have more important things to think about than $ and such. >_>" - you have but they still need addressing. You almost seem to be thinking clearly. :) :) :)

"By about 6 I had emotionally detached myself from others to avoid more frustration with the failings of others" - that's a horrible thing to happen to a child. I did the same with my family at fourteen and with the world at twenty one. Luckily the fact I joined PF is an indicator I'm on the mend. Wish I'd done it at nineteen. And you are far more capable than I was then. You can do this. Another important thing is that the emotional detachment at six and the living in your head are linked, I believe the latter is a consequence of the former.

"I don't want to work as part of a company, other than maybe as a consultant." - you don't have the choice, you need any job.

You got me spilling my guts here Goethe, I've never done this before, ever, in my life. Get it sorted. 19 is an ideal time to do it.

Best Wishes

John

 

[G037H3]

The issue wasn't with the D/s relationship, it was with prioritizing someone who didn't prioritize me. There is nothing wrong with D/s, but I need to have some structure in my life on my own, so that I can't be hurt this badly. I'm absolutely devastated. They propositioned me and spent quite a bit of time talking to me; there is no rational reason to do that if they had not seen some sort of potential in me. The fact that they didn't talk to me for 3 days (I assumed the best, that they were just very busy with end-of-term projects) and then said that we wouldn't work out, makes me feel worthless. They promised me a bit of support ($300) as a Christmas gift in order to help me avoid homelessness as I try to get a job, and now I'm pretty certain that they'll drop that as well.

The $ wasn't why I wanted to be with them. I want to be functional, a month of work is more than what they had promised me. I just want to be able to be functional and feel happiness in making someone else happy. How is that so much to ask for?

My previous statement that I don't feel that I'll be mature until 30 or so is an acknowledgment of my lack of refinement, not some sort of avoidance of life.

About living in my head, some other intelligent people do the same, it's just that my case is rather severe. I do know that I must assert myself to the outside world if I wish to make anything of myself, but again, along with the issue of being functional, this is a very difficult, daresay impossible feat to accomplish on my own.

My childhood was scarring, yes. That doesn't mean that I'm ugly. I simply am a lesser person than I could have potentially been, but my life path has given me insight into some deeper aspects of philosophy that I could not have obtained otherwise. The only major negative aspect of my childhood is that I am in many ways naive, and too trusting/giving.

 

[story645]

There is nothing wrong with D/s, but I need to have some structure in my life on my own, so that I can't be hurt this badly.

Congrats, you came to a realization at least half this thread was trying to get you to make on your own or something finally sunk in. Either way :)

How is that so much to ask for?

It's not much to ask of yourself, but it's a lot to ask of another person. Imagine if someone came up to you and was like "hi, can you take on the responsibility of fixing me?" It sounds like this guy was pretty young, so while I am sorry that you've gotten your hopes up (I'm all mopey whenever that happens to me), I can understand why he'd reconsider when he really thought about how much would be involved.

I do know that I must assert myself to the outside world if I wish to make anything of myself, but again, along with the issue of being functional, this is a very difficult, daresay impossible feat to accomplish on my own.

You could accomplish it on your own and all, but a competent therapist and good support groups could help you leagues in gaining to the tools to get there.

That doesn't mean that I'm ugly.

Nobody's saying you are.

I simply am a lesser person than I could have potentially been, but my life path has given me insight into some deeper aspects of philosophy that I could not have obtained otherwise

Unless you're out their raping, pillaging, and murdering, I don't think you've quite hit the lesser person mark. Congrats on still being a teen, it means you've still got lots of time to live up to your potential, but that means getting yourself sorted out.

 

[cobalt124]

Hi, Goethe. I'll keep posting but maybe I need to back off as you are emphasising the practical aspects which do need sorting and I can't be of much assistance there.

"The issue wasn't with the D/s relationship..." - I was using that as an example i.e. it applies as well to (as I'm seeing it) the most important thing in your life.

"...but I need to have some structure in my life on my own, so that I can't be hurt this badly..."

and

"...I want to be functional..."

and

"...I just want to be able to...feel happiness in making someone else happy. How is that so much to ask for?..."

The advice in this thread will help you sort these out.

"My previous statement that I don't feel that I'll be mature until 30 or so is an acknowledgment of my lack of refinement, not some sort of avoidance of life." - I'm going to stand by my what I said on this one.

"About living in my head, some other intelligent people do the same, it's just that my case is rather severe. I do know that I must assert myself to the outside world if I wish to make anything of myself, but again, along with the issue of being functional, this is a very difficult, daresay impossible feat to accomplish on my own." - yes I thought about this a bit and it's possible I may be projecting my issues here that you don't have. I'm not retracting what I said, it's something to think on. It's caused me a lot of pain and it was rooted in my choices I mentioned.

"That doesn't mean that I'm ugly" - I'm often told by my wife that I'm "big enough and ugly enough to look after myself" :), As Story says no one is saying you are ugly.

"I simply am a lesser person than I could have potentially been"

and

"but my life path has given me insight into some deeper aspects of "x" that I could not have obtained otherwise"

these are probably true of most people to some degree

Best Wishes

John

 

[G037H3]

Congrats, you came to a realization at least half this thread was trying to get you to make on your own or something finally sunk in. Either way :)


It's not much to ask of yourself, but it's a lot to ask of another person. Imagine if someone came up to you and was like "hi, can you take on the responsibility of fixing me?" It sounds like this guy was pretty young, so while I am sorry that you've gotten your hopes up (I'm all mopey whenever that happens to me), I can understand why he'd reconsider when he really thought about how much would be involved.


You could accomplish it on your own and all, but a competent therapist and good support groups could help you leagues in gaining to the tools to get there.


Nobody's saying you are.


Unless you're out their raping, pillaging, and murdering, I don't think you've quite hit the lesser person mark. Congrats on still being a teen, it means you've still got lots of time to live up to your potential, but that means getting yourself sorted out.

I don't want to become disillusioned, because the reflections I see are the promise of a more truthful existence. It's difficult to avoid developing hatred when my ideals are constantly under assault by the decrepit and corrupt world.

Yes, but you must keep in mind that just as I have a natural need to submit emotionally, others have a natural need to dominate emotionally. Wasn't a guy. I was completely open with them about all of my ideals and preferences. They had data pertaining to many of my ideals before they even propositioned me.

Support groups would not be a good idea. I would become frustrated at their lack of understanding. The same could be said of a therapist, but at least then I have the opportunity to vent. My only issues are with my gender, and with depression stemming from lack of opportunity to have a functional relationship.

I'm not a teen for long. I feel really old. =_=

 

[Vanadium 50]

I don't want to become disillusioned, because the reflections I see are the promise of a more truthful existence. It's difficult to avoid developing hatred when my ideals are constantly under assault by the decrepit and corrupt world.

Good lord. Enough with the drama.

May I remind you that, now that you are on food benefits, that the only reason you are eating is because this "decrepit and corrupt world has decided to share its food with you. In most times and places, the unproductive members of society starved to death. This society has decided that nobody should starve to death - but try not to confuse justice with mercy.

Support groups would not be a good idea. I would become frustrated at their lack of understanding.

For all your complaining about prejudice in others, you're pretty fast to show some yourself.

Right now you are on a path that ends with homelessness and being gang-raped in a dark alley by a group of predators. It is your decision whether to stay on this path or not. If not, you need to do two things immediately: (1) get into counseling, and (2) get a job. This will not be a very good job. There will be parts of it that you won't like. That is why they call it "work" and that is why they have to pay people to do it. The sooner you get this fantasy out of your head that someone will pay you $30K a year to work part-time writing Python (a language, I point out, that you do not know), the better.

 

[G037H3]

Good lord. Enough with the drama.

May I remind you that, now that you are on food benefits, that the only reason you are eating is because this "decrepit and corrupt world has decided to share its food with you. In most times and places, the unproductive members of society starved to death. This society has decided that nobody should starve to death - but try not to confuse justice with mercy.



For all your complaining about prejudice in others, you're pretty fast to show some yourself.

Right now you are on a path that ends with homelessness and being gang-raped in a dark alley by a group of predators. It is your decision whether to stay on this path or not. If not, you need to do two things immediately: (1) get into counseling, and (2) get a job. This will not be a very good job. There will be parts of it that you won't like. That is why they call it "work" and that is why they have to pay people to do it. The sooner you get this fantasy out of your head that someone will pay you $30K a year to work part-time writing Python (a language, I point out, that you do not know), the better.

I wouldn't be in this position had I grown up in Western Europe. So yes, I will state that a lot of environmental factors are very unfair to me.

Prejudice -> pre-judge. I wait until I have knowledge before judging.

Correct. But job comes before counseling, because there are few free options. -_-

I don't think I'll make $30K between a point near the present, and a year from that point. I think I can do that a year from now. Right now I only need $400+ a month to survive.

 

[Vanadium 50]

I wouldn't be in this position had I grown up in Western Europe. So yes, I will state that a lot of environmental factors are very unfair to me.

And had you grown up in Iran you would have been stoned to death.

Prejudice -> pre-judge. I wait until I have knowledge before judging.

Actually, you don't. You just said that support groups wouldn't understand you based on exactly zero evidence.

Right now I only need $400+ a month to survive.

And nobody is going to pay you that to write Python.

 

[cristo]

I wouldn't be in this position had I grown up in Western Europe.

Why not? Europeans aren't too keen on the work-shy either.

 

[story645]

Yes, but you must keep in mind that just as I have a natural need to submit emotionally, others have a natural need to dominate emotionally.

Even naturally dom people tend to not want to be the dom full time.

I was completely open with them about all of my ideals and preferences. They had data pertaining to many of my ideals before they even propositioned me.

Data doesn't mean much before someone actually talking to someone.

Support groups would not be a good idea. I would become frustrated at their lack of understanding.

Yeah, I'm sure other GLBTQ youth on the verge of homelessness would totally misunderstand you. There's a reason why I'm suggesting you go to support groups run by organizations established to help kids just like you.

I'm not a teen for long. I feel really old.

Gah, why does every kid I talk to seem to think this way? (See, you're so not alone). I'm not much older than you and I still think of myself as a kid. You've still got plenty of time to clean up your act and get it straightened out.

 

[G037H3]

And had you grown up in Iran you would have been stoned to death.



Actually, you don't. You just said that support groups wouldn't understand you based on exactly zero evidence.



And nobody is going to pay you that to write Python.

Good thing I'm not an Iranian, huh? Isn't it wonderful that some things aren't based on chance?

Just because I don't put forth reasons does not mean that I haven't discussed it.

Not right now. Near future, yes, most likely.

 

[G037H3]

Why not? Europeans aren't too keen on the work-shy either.

my point was that I would have presumably had a healthy way to distinguish myself from others, which I lacked growing up

 

[G037H3]

Even naturally dom people tend to not want to be the dom full time.


Data doesn't mean much before someone actually talking to someone.


Yeah, I'm sure other GLBTQ youth on the verge of homelessness would totally misunderstand you. There's a reason why I'm suggesting you go to support groups run by organizations established to help kids just like you.


Gah, why does every kid I talk to seem to think this way? (See, you're so not alone). I'm not much older than you and I still think of myself as a kid. You've still got plenty of time to clean up your act and get it straightened out.

I realize that. I'm what is known as a 'natural submissive', I'm pretty easy to manage/control in the context of a relationship. So that isn't really a good explanation...

Data helps to weed out those who cannot stand my societal and philosophical views.

Good point. I'll look into whether or not there are groups in Seattle that cater to GLBT youth, and especially trans, since TG people have it rougher in a lot of ways. =/

Everyone seems to ignore that I've partially been trying to get a job for months, and haven't had one interview.

 

[JaredJames]

my point was that I would have presumably had a healthy way to distinguish myself from others, which I lacked growing up

Speaking as a Western European person, what way are you talking about here?

 

[JaredJames]

Goethe, you are making a lot of assumptions ranging from assuming you are going to be a good programmer to assuming you are 'alone and there's no help available'.

Firstly, people leaving university with degrees don't always walk into $30k jobs and so you getting to that point after a year (or three years even) isn't realistic. Even if you are the best out there, without qualifications and some proof you are good at it (past jobs) you won't even get close to that.

Now, so far as everything else, I think the other posts here cover it nicely.

If you aren't going to take advice on board then there's little point anyone providing you with it. We're giving you advice and telling you how things actually are, not how they are in your world. All you can do is throw excuses at us and complain about "the decrepit and corrupt world".

 

[G037H3]

Speaking as a Western European person, what way are you talking about here?

academic ways to assert my intellect

the high school i was in kicked me out because i was frighteningly sharp =/ though i never talked to anyone unless i absolutely had to



also, other than temp agencies and looking into some sort of GLBT/TG support organization, what else do i have in terms of options/alternatives

contingency planning, and all that, and you people seem to live in the constructed world much more than i do :P

 

[JaredJames]

academic ways to assert my intellect

the high school i was in kicked me out because i was frighteningly sharp =/ though i never talked to anyone unless i absolutely had to

"frighteningly sharp" - can you explain this to me before I respond?

Also, what were their exact reasons given. I doubt they used that particular phrase.

Constructed world? As opposed to 'in your mind' as you keep talking about?

 

[G037H3]

Goethe, you are making a lot of assumptions ranging from assuming you are going to be a good programmer to assuming you are 'alone and there's no help available'.

Firstly, people leaving university with degrees don't always walk into $30k jobs and so you getting to that point after a year (or three years even) isn't realistic. Even if you are the best out there, without qualifications and some proof you are good at it (past jobs) you won't even get close to that.

Now, so far as everything else, I think the other posts here cover it nicely.

If you aren't going to take advice on board then there's little point anyone providing you with it. We're giving you advice and telling you how things actually are, not how they are in your world. All you can do is throw excuses at us and complain about "the decrepit and corrupt world".

I know that I assume things, but everyone does, so it isn't really a damning thing to say.

A degree doesn't mean that someone is capable or bright. Many more people are in uni/college than there should be.

If I'm good (and I have taken every opportunity to have those more experienced than I give their opinion), then it isn't out of touch with reality.

I'm not going to argue which viewpoint is closer to reality. I've already stated that the opinions expressed by others conform more strongly to a basal constructed view of society.

Perhaps I work towards making myself deal with immoral necessities by talking about my options.

 

[G037H3]

"frighteningly sharp" - can you explain this to me before I respond?

Also, what were their exact reasons given. I doubt they used that particular phrase.

Constructed world? As opposed to 'in your mind' as you keep talking about?

'frighteningly sharp' = I speak to no one, unless I am disturbed, and then I play the role of Socrates...people cannot handle learning of their own ignorance

Their exact reasons were a supposed threat, which is interesting, because I never talked to anyone or had any friends. It was an excuse to stick me in a room for several months, and then bend the law to expel me. Religious, stupid, sexually repressed people. So funny.

'Constructed world' refers to a network of reinforced beliefs that are developed with the abuse of Ockham's Razor, as well as a sickening obedience to authority, and a severe case of cognitive dissonance resulting from blatant hypocrisy concerning major societal issues.

 

[JaredJames]

I know that I assume things, but everyone does, so it isn't really a damning thing to say.

Yes, but your assumptions are quite extreme.

A degree doesn't mean that someone is capable or bright. Many more people are in uni/college than there should be.

A person sitting a degree must have a minimum knowledge / intellect to get on the course (entry requirements shown by previous qualifications). You gain knowledge on your degree and when you leave, your degree shows you have the knowledge required to gain that degree. So an employer has a minimum knowledge level to gauge you by.

No degree means there is no way to prove you have this level of knowledge (unless you have another way to do so, which you don't).

I'm not going to argue which viewpoint is closer to reality. I've already stated that the opinions expressed by others conform more strongly to a basal constructed view of society.

Closer to reality? Goethe, leave the philosophical crap out of it. You have demonstrated on numerous occasions that you don't understand how things actually work in the real world. Whether you agree with said 'real world' or not is irrelevant. That is how it works.

Perhaps I work towards making myself deal with immoral necessities by talking about my options.

What is and isn't immoral is a personal issue, and so what you consider immoral doesn't always match up to what others do.

 

[JaredJames]

'frighteningly sharp' = I speak to no one, unless I am disturbed, and then I play the role of Socrates...people cannot handle learning of their own ignorance

Wow, you complain of being alone and wanting someone to look after you and then you post this. It says it all.

Instead of looking at your interaction from your point of view, try seeing it from theirs. I would consider anyone who reacted like you've described above when I spoke to them as a total pr*ck.

 

[G037H3]

Yes, but your assumptions are quite extreme.


A person sitting a degree must have a minimum knowledge / intellect to get on the course (entry requirements shown by previous qualifications). You gain knowledge on your degree and when you leave, your degree shows you have the knowledge required to gain that degree. So an employer has a minimum knowledge level to gauge you by.

No degree means there is no way to prove you have this level of knowledge (unless you have another way to do so, which you don't).


Closer to reality? Goethe, leave the philosophical crap out of it. You have demonstrated on numerous occasions that you don't understand how things actually work in the real world. Whether you agree with said 'real world' or not is irrelevant. That is how it works.


What is and isn't immoral is a personal issue, and so what you consider immoral doesn't always match up to what others do.

To assume that the modern world is healthy is a rather extreme assumption, as well.

A degree alone doesn't show much other than a pretty low minimum intellect, coupled with proof that someone is able to navigate silly social systems that are set up based on flawed ideas.

I understand *how* things work. I just see things from a very different perspective. When I glance at the structure of society and convention, I see something completely different. I already know that my depression and needs make it much more difficult to think in terms of asserting myself towards things and others, when that is almost always a necessity.

Reread what I wrote.

Wow, you complain of being alone and wanting someone to look after you and then you post this. It says it all.

Instead of looking at your interaction from your point of view, try seeing it from theirs. I would consider anyone who reacted like you've described above when I spoke to them as a total pr*ck.

I'm not indiscriminately like that. If I can tell that someone is normal, I am, but if someone strikes up a conversation about something interesting, I am friendly, although very shy. If they offer some sort of implicit evidence of intelligence and morality, then I open myself up quite a bit.

 

[Mech_Engineer]

I know that I assume things, but everyone does, so it isn't really a damning thing to say.

Well assuming the wrong thing, and sticking with the assumption in the face of overwhelming evidence against it, is clearly madness.

A degree doesn't mean that someone is capable or bright. Many more people are in uni/college than there should be.

If they graduate and get a degree, it means they learned what they were taught, and functioned acceptably in the academic environment. It's a good stepping stone to a functional career, although not a guarantee (social skills are important as well). You should take stock of that before you start bashing the "drones with college degrees" here (there are a lot of them btw).

If I'm good (and I have taken every opportunity to have those more experienced than I give their opinion), then it isn't out of touch with reality.

You seem pretty out of touch with reality to me... For a start you still haven't heeded the advice to get a job, any job, asap.

I'm not going to argue which viewpoint is closer to reality. I've already stated that the opinions expressed by others conform more strongly to a basal constructed view of society.

Definition: Reality
Reality, in everyday usage, means "the state of things as they actually exist." Literally, the term denotes what is real; in its widest sense, this includes everything that is, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible. ...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality"

In the context in which it is being discussed here, reality referrs to what is required to gain a productive level of functionality in society (e.g. job, friends, etc.). For example, reality dictates you will not be able to get a job programming simple freelance projects without some level of education, drive, experience, and capability of working with others.

'frighteningly sharp' = I speak to no one, unless I am disturbed, and then I play the role of Socrates...people cannot handle learning of their own ignorance

An arrogant, condescending loner that refused to interact with anyone. I wouldn't call that "sharp" by any stretch of the term. It sounds to me like you had a higher-than-thou attitude and felt like you were too smart to deal with mere mortals...

Social interaction is an important part of modern society. You don't have to be friends with everyone, but if you expect people to treat you with some level of respect they will expect that level of respect to be reciprocated. This is just as true now as it was when you got kicked out of high school.

Their exact reasons were a supposed threat, which is interesting, because I never talked to anyone or had any friends. It was an excuse to stick me in a room for several months, and then bend the law to expel me. Religious, stupid, sexually repressed people. So funny.

You probably made them nervous because you acted with contempt towards other students, refused social interaction, and I'm willing to bet didn't want to follow the learning plan either...

'Constructed world' refers to a network of reinforced beliefs that are developed with the abuse of Ockham's Razor,

To what are you referring?

as well as a sickening obedience to authority,

You're not convincing me you'd make a good employee... Why should someone pay you to work for them?

and a severe case of cognitive dissonance resulting from blatant hypocrisy concerning major societal issues.

And what does all this babble have to do with you not being able to get a job and pay your rent?!

 

[JaredJames]

To assume that the modern world is healthy is a rather extreme assumption, as well.

I've never assumed that.

A degree alone doesn't show much other than a pretty low minimum intellect, coupled with proof that someone is able to navigate silly social systems that are set up based on flawed ideas.

Pretty low intellect? How dare you. I find that offensive on so many different levels.

A degree shows you have passed exams and various other items such as assignments and reports etc. It shows that you were capable to do so and hold the knowledge required for it. The whole purpose of a degree is to show the person with it has a minimum working knowledge of the subject based on the degrees requirements.

Silly social systems? I don't know what you're on about now. More philosophical ramblings.

Reread what I wrote.

I have, it still says the same

I'm not indiscriminately like that. If I can tell that someone is normal, I am, but if someone strikes up a conversation about something interesting, I am friendly, although very shy. If they offer some sort of implicit evidence of intelligence and morality, then I open myself up quite a bit.

All things based on your own opinions. You are judging people on your own ideals and values which don't always hold true. I'm friends with plenty of people of ranging ability from incredibly intelligent to being as 'thick as a bulls kn*b' (to put it bluntly). Stereotyping people this way means you miss out on some fantastic friendship opportunities.