Bad Math Jokes

[benorin]

Summary:: Ok, so let hear 'em, all your tasteful bad math jokes...

Found this on r/mathmemes

There's no solution for 31:

Ok, so let hear 'em, all your tasteful bad math jokes...

 

[mfb]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kruskal's_tree_theorem#TREE(3)
TREE(1)=3
TREE(2)=3
TREE(3) is so large that the Ackermann function (used for Graham's number) can't catch it.

The busy beaver function tends to explode, too.

 

[etotheipi]

 

[jedishrfu]

A sailor knot walked into a bar and the bartender said we don't serve your kind here.

The knot left disappointed, retied himself, tousled his hair and went back inside.

The bartender said: "Hey weren't you just in here?"

and the knot said: I'm a frayed knot."

 

[benorin]

Spoiler: Off Topic

IDK if you guys watch Doctor Who at all but I can tell you that all these conversations are entirely in character, when I read these I can even remember Peter Capaldi's classic, old-man smart-ass attitude when he's telling the punchline like in the show.

If ever in these times you find yourself without something to do for like two weeks (maybe three if you sleep) watch the newer seasons of Doctor Who (starting with Series 1 near the top of the page just below Series 2; do note they are listed in order from bottom to top).

 

[jedishrfu]

Found online:

A friend of mine is a knot theorist and I told him a joke that wasn’t about knot theory.

He said he’s too old for not-knot jokes.

Here's a few more that are too funny to post:

https://www.fatherly.com/play/math-jokes-and-math-puns/

 

[jedishrfu]

Rolling back the years to a simpler time when Abbott and Costello taught us some real math:



-vs-

today when society teaches the teacher the true value of math:

 

[wrobel]

 

[DennisN]

Which knight built The Round Table?

Spoiler

Sir Cumference.

 

[jedishrfu]

What US government organization is so entrenched that not even a force of nature could move it?

Spoiler: Answer

Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA)

ie

$F = m a$

 

[StatGuy2000]

Summary:: Ok, so let hear 'em, all your tasteful bad math jokes...

Found this on r/mathmemes

There's no solution for 31:
View attachment 264409

Ok, so let hear 'em, all your tasteful bad math jokes...

Just out of curiosity, in the meme you attached, I recognize British actor Peter Capaldi, but I don't recognize the actress. Do you happen to know who she is?

 

[fresh_42]

Jenna Coleman

 

[member 428835]

A man walked into a bar but it was closed.

 

[jack action]

 

[BWV]

 

[collinsmark]

(Source: https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/fractions)

 

[benorin]

Jenna Coleman

I realize knowing the name of the actress hardly makes you guilty, but are you by chance a closet Doctor Who fan?

 

[fresh_42]

Well, they show it here on the late night shift of a minor channel. Basically the shows from Christopher Eccleston until Jodie Whittaker, currently Matt Smith and Jenna. I think the Whittaker shows are not fully translated, yet, since they aired only a few episodes before they began to repeat the old ones.

 

[jack action]

 

[DrClaude]

Pythagoras?

 

[BillTre]

View attachment 270099
Pythagoras?

Flattened view of a tetrahedron?

 

[BillTre]

View attachment 270093​

Shouldn't that be: "7/16" - 10 cents"?

 

[mfb]

Flattened view of a tetrahedron?

Three-dimensional student arrangement to fit more students in classrooms... I should suggest that.

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 270099
Pythagoras?

No. Topologist.

 

[pasmith]

View attachment 270099
Pythagoras?

Discrete metric.

Q: What is the natural topology for a group of gossips?
A: The indiscreet topology.

 

[benorin]

Three-dimensional student arrangement to fit more students in classrooms... I should suggest that.

The elementary school I went to had like 20 ft high ceilings, they planned ahead.

 

[jack action]

Shouldn't that be: "7/16" - 10 cents"?

The 10 cents was borrowed from his buddy. Since he owes 10 cents, the negative value is implicit. This is why math is important.

 

[jack action]

 

[Vanadium 50]

A favorite probability problem. A buys two tickets, who gives 1 to B, who gives it to C, who rips it it half. Calculate everyone's expectation value.

 

[mfb]

Do we include that A will sue B if they win a lot?

 

[Stephen Tashi]

Whenever someone got things reversed (like saying North Main St instead of South Main St.) and subsequently made a correction, one graduate student I knew would say "$Z_2$ acts again".

 

[jack action]

So many people here will recognize themselves:

 

[fresh_42]

No! This is wrong in the last row for mathematicians.

It has to be $\pi = \dfrac{C_\circ}{D_\circ} \notin \mathbb{Q}.$

 

[Ibix]

A favorite probability problem. A buys two tickets, who gives 1 to B, who gives it to C, who rips it it half. Calculate everyone's expectation value.

B and C have spent nothing and can win nothing so their expectation is zero. A is out $2.18 for the ticket they kept (assuming SMBC's number is the expected loss on a ticket) plus the raw cost of the second destroyed ticket. Or am I missing something?

 

[jack action]

 

[DrClaude]

https://xkcd.com/2370/

 

[waternohitter]

Rolling back the years to a simpler time when Abbott and Costello taught us some real math:

So that's how you do the math. I learned a lot!

 

[mfb]

19 and 20 got into a fight. 21.

A more well-known variant: Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

And then there is that headline, of course: https://www.ntnews.com.au/news/northern-territory/one-tooth-free-for-fifes-hicks-sven-ate-nine-tench/news-story/9e51f18033a9f6c24a0f1a985b986ef0

 

[etotheipi]

If 2005 humour is still funny... the English cat 'one two three' and the French cat 'un deux trois' had a swimming race to decide after which country the Channel should be named. The un deux trois cat sank.

 

[fresh_42]

If 2005 humour is still funny... the English cat 'one two three' and the French cat 'un deux trois' had a swimming race to decide after which country the Channel should be named. The un deux trois cat sank.

But only because the one two three forth dived.

 

[DrGreg]

If 2005 humour is still funny... the English cat 'one two three' and the French cat 'un deux trois' had a swimming race to decide after which country the Channel should be named. The un deux trois cat sank.

That reminds me of the very first joke in the very first episode of Fawlty Towers

Manuel, the Spanish waiter, whose grasp of English is poor, is carrying three breakfast trays to the hotel rooms.

BASIL: Manuel, there's too much butter on those trays!

MANUEL: ¿Que?

BASIL: There's too much butter on those trays!

MANUEL: No, Mister Fawlty, is not "on doz trez", is "uno dos tres"!

 

[Vanadium 50]

Wonderful show: "Not pigs! Pigeon...like your English!"

 

[jack action]

Today's math problem:

If George is 68 and his girlfriend is 22, how much money does George have?

 

[fresh_42]

I still like best the shortest of all: Be $\varepsilon <0$.

 

[etotheipi]

 

[etotheipi]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 271448

And the most trivial version of it has even a special name $\int_a^b f(x)\,dx = F(a)-F(a)$.
I will never understand why this is fundamental and Stokes is not.

 

[mfb]

$\int_a^b f(x)\,dx = F(a)-F(b)$.

On the surface this one looks a bit ... disconnected.

 

[Ibix]

$\int_a^b f(x)\,dx = F(a)-F(a)$

If only that weren't a typo, integration would be a lot easier...

 

[jack action]