Can women really get men to do anything they want?

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The discussion revolves around the assertion that women can manipulate men to get what they want, with various participants sharing their views on the dynamics of gender interactions. Many agree that while some women may use manipulation, it is not a universal trait and exists among both genders. The conversation highlights that manipulative behavior often comes at a personal cost, such as sacrificing dignity or self-esteem. Participants also explore the societal expectations surrounding gender roles, noting that women often receive more offers of help or generosity from men, which can lead to assumptions about entitlement. However, some women express discomfort with this dynamic, preferring to be treated equally without special treatment based on gender. The dialogue touches on the complexities of social interactions, particularly in dating scenarios, where expectations about who should pay for drinks or meals can create tension. Overall, the thread emphasizes that while manipulation can occur, it is not a defining characteristic of women, and generalizations about gender behavior can be misleading.
  • #61


rewebster said:
A good relation to me works on a kind of 'supply and demand' (control/giving up control) of along a Bell shaped curve of knowing what the 'other' person wants (from both sides)-----a teeter totter effect of many facets.

Knowing what the other person wants? That's another dumb concept in relationships.
 
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  • #62


GeorginaS said:
Some of the commentary about women here is, um, I want to say offensive but will go with discouraging. Do some of you folks not consider your own behaviour? TheStatutoryApe, did it ever occur to you that you're rejecting people with your behaviour? Yes, you're behaving professionally and that's likely the best response. But did you stop and look at it from other people's side? Maybe they don't want anything in particular from you, and you point-blank reject them and their offers. An awful, awful lot of people don't take rejection well and respond with hostility. I'm not saying that's right, but it's a fairly normal, consistent reaction.

I'm always nice to them. No reason to not be nice if the person is being nice to me. I am just firm in letting them know that I can not accept their offers because it is not allowed and that I will be needing them to comply with the rules. There are plenty of nice people I deal with who offer me things and have no problem with my declining their offers. It's just certain people who after I have spoken with them the once and declined to be swayed by their flirtations or what have you will, if I have to speak with them again, suddenly treat me like I'm some ***hole.
I'm wondering what it says about the way you think that apparently making overt passes at some random security guard, offering him booze (while working), and trying to get him to feel up your breasts are all fairly normal friendly reactions when you're getting in trouble and that maybe I'm just making these ladies angry by rejecting them.

Jason said:
I think guys who feel like this about girls all the time generally have low self-esteem and so on. In reality, lots of girls are attracted to security guards as weird as it sounds. So, technically they might be interested him at a certain level, but then he flat out rejects them.
I've met ladies that flirt with me sincerely aswell. They're the ones that flirt everytime they see me and don't treat me differently just because I act professionally.
 
  • #63


JasonRox said:
Knowing what the other person wants? That's another dumb concept in relationships.

hmmmm...



Does she want children? Does she want to be a chemist? or a musician? (or a physicist?)

does she like (or want) to cuddle? does she like (or want) to go hiking, traveling, a white picket fence? does she want to try new things, go new places; or, does she want to stay at home?

"3) Attitude towards life and general values

This is a criterion which tends to get overlooked in relationships. This is because the true understanding of one’s attitudes and values takes time. When we go on dates, we are in the ‘impress’ mode, which makes us act out of sync with our real traits. We show that we care deeply for social issues, for poverty, for animals and so on but when we start life with another, those issues take a backseat. It’s not that we purposely try to fool a prospective partner-sometimes it’s just instinctive to show the best you can be. So if you are a not a vegetarian, don’t imply otherwise thinking that you will be able to convert if the relationship goes well. If you are not willing to be on the move, don’t talk about any wander lust."

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/what-to-look-for-in-a-good-relationship.html

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q="in+a+good+relationship"+&btnG=Google+Search

A 'want' is a 'like'

Does she want chocolate (and when)?

If you don't know what the 'other' person in the relationship wants (and likes), it can get 'one-sided' pretty quickly.
 
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  • #64


rewebster said:
hmmmm...



Does she want children? Does she want to be a chemist? or a musician? (or a physicist?)

does she like (or want) to cuddle? does she like (or want) to go hiking, traveling, a white picket fence? does she want to try new things, go new places; or, does she want to stay at home?

"3) Attitude towards life and general values

This is a criterion which tends to get overlooked in relationships. This is because the true understanding of one’s attitudes and values takes time. When we go on dates, we are in the ‘impress’ mode, which makes us act out of sync with our real traits. We show that we care deeply for social issues, for poverty, for animals and so on but when we start life with another, those issues take a backseat. It’s not that we purposely try to fool a prospective partner-sometimes it’s just instinctive to show the best you can be. So if you are a not a vegetarian, don’t imply otherwise thinking that you will be able to convert if the relationship goes well. If you are not willing to be on the move, don’t talk about any wander lust."

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/what-to-look-for-in-a-good-relationship.html

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q="in+a+good+relationship"+&btnG=Google+Search

A 'want' is a 'like'

Does she want chocolate (and when)?

If you don't know what the 'other' person in the relationship wants (and likes), it can get 'one-sided' pretty quickly.

Exactly, but she tells you she wants does things. You can't just KNOW them. I confused the KNOW part as in, you SHOULD KNOW from who knows what.

Also, I'll never know WHEN she wants chocolate. Why not focus on what I want and she focuses on what she wants, and we let them come together. If they don't, relationship over.
 
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  • #65


JasonRox said:
Exactly, but she tells you she wants does things. You can't just KNOW them. I confused the KNOW part as in, you SHOULD KNOW from who knows what.

Also, I'll never know WHEN she wants chocolate. Why not focus on what I want and she focuses on what she wants, and we let them come together. If they don't, relationship over.

funny----how do you expect to 'know' them without her telling you---"the Psychic Hotline"?


I've heard some women say something like "you're SUPPOSED to know that"---but it was said jokingly


JasonRox said:
Also, I'll never know WHEN she wants chocolate. Why not focus on what I want and she focuses on what she wants, and we let them come together. If they don't, relationship over.

I'd say that's maybe part of the reason why over 50% of the marriages end in divorce

"I expected that..." and "I had expectations that..." lead to disappointments if they aren't fulfulled. If you know what some of the 'wants' are before, that leads to less unfulfilled expectations.
 
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  • #66


rewebster said:
funny----how do you expect to 'know' them without her telling you---"the Psychic Hotline"?


I've heard some women say something like "you're SUPPOSED to know that"---but it was said jokingly




I'd say that's maybe part of the reason why over 50% of the marriages end in divorce

"I expected that..." and "I had expectations that..." lead to disappointments if they aren't fulfulled. If you know what some of the 'wants' are before, that leads to less unfulfilled expectations.

Well, I wouldn't get married. But I think in general, the model marriage will always fall apart. It's not only a 50% divorce rate, but also separations that never get reported as divorces, marriages that stay together because someone is afraid to get out and so on. It's more like 90% or more of marriages fail.

I know some people here are in marriages and have been for a long time and I respect that. But, really the model marriage fails the majority of the time is because it's a bad model.
 
  • #67
JasonRox said:
Well, I wouldn't get married. But I think in general, the model marriage will always fall apart. It's not only a 50% divorce rate, but also separations that never get reported as divorces, marriages that stay together because someone is afraid to get out and so on. It's more like 90% or more of marriages fail.

I know some people here are in marriages and have been for a long time and I respect that. But, really the model marriage fails the majority of the time is because it's a bad model.

I thought I didn't want to get married (until I was 20)----and everyone is different.

Things can happen to change minds---especially if you run into a woman that makes life sparkle




this may be an example of the thread 'title' (but its more 'sales'):

http://cgi.ebay.com/2-Detroit-Tigers-vs-Cleveland-Indians-8-26-3-Coupons_W0QQitemZ320287729831QQihZ011QQcategoryZ16122QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

do you like those seats? a good enough offer will get them
 
  • #68
rewebster said:
I thought I didn't want to get married (until I was 20)----and everyone is different.

Things can happen to change minds---especially if you run into a woman that makes life sparkle




this may be an example of the thread 'title' (but its more 'sales'):

http://cgi.ebay.com/2-Detroit-Tigers-vs-Cleveland-Indians-8-26-3-Coupons_W0QQitemZ320287729831QQihZ011QQcategoryZ16122QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

do you like those seats? a good enough offer will get them

Yeah, I will change my mind. :rolleyes:
 
  • #69


Andre said:
Seems that this thread is heading for a happy ending.

That will cost you extra.

Reading this thread makes my head hurt. Bye bye.
 
  • #70


It matters how much money she has... No, but seriously, No woman can make me do something I don't want to. My reputation and humility is far greater then my lust.
 
  • #71


bassplayer142 said:
It matters how much money she has...
Some people say I married my wife because she was a millionaire, but it's not true. I would have married her if she only had $999,999.99
 
  • #72


jimmysnyder said:
Some people say I married my wife because she was a millionaire, but it's not true. I would have married her if she only had $999,999.99

If you didn't notice that was supposed to be a joke. I agree with you 100% that money plays a small role.
 
  • #73


bassplayer142 said:
If you didn't notice that was supposed to be a joke. I agree with you 100% that money plays a small role.

that's usually true of more men than of more women-----

from the 'traditional' viewpoint--women need/'needed' a 'good' supplier/provider

one reason why some women are labeled 'gold diggers' more than men----how many movies have you seen about 'gold digging' men?

and the most noticable ones stand out --e.g.---Anna Nicole Smith
 
  • #74


bassplayer142 said:
If you didn't notice that was supposed to be a joke.
Actually, I lifted it, as usual. This time from a song that I heard just last night.

Molly dear, now did you hear what all the neighbors say
About the hundred sovreigns you have safely stowed away?
They say that's why I love you. Ah but Molly, that's a shame
If you had only ninety-nine, I'd love you just the same.
http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/irish-folk-music/007156.HTM"
 
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  • #75


Nucleonics said:
Being a male, I've heard women frequently tell me that they can make men do anything they so desired (within reason, I'd assume). The sheer lack of humility of such a statement makes me think it's just something women say because they heard other women say it also. But I was wondering what the experience of the women in this forum really was. Can you ladies really get anything you request from a guy (within reason)?



You're argument relies on generalizations, so the answer is. NO
 
  • #77


Mk said:
You are a male, and trying to avoid sex, flirtation, and bosom flashing? Are you homosexual?

I seriously hope you were joking because this is such an obvious false dichotomy. It's crude in thought to be quite honest.
 

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