Can women really get men to do anything they want?

[GeorginaS]

I work as a security guard and have experienced something very similar to what I believe he is explaining. Often when I deal with females they become very flirtatious. They smile alot, sometimes they get touchy feely, they invite me to come in and have a drink with them, some even go as far as to tell me I'm cute and make overt passes at me. Once a woman even tried to get me to feel her 'new breasts'. But it almost always ends that when they realize I am only going to act professionally and they will not be getting anything out of me they treat me like an annoyance. They roll their eyes, pay me little to no attention, and shut the door in my face before I am even done speaking.

Males sometimes act similarly. They will try to invite me in for a beer or to 'watch the game' or what have you. Sometimes they even offer up their female friends. When they realize it isn't going to change anything they often become jerks, get argumentative, and sometimes even turn violent. The difference is that men most often are not extending me anything that they probably would not already extend to me anyway, mere camaraderie. The females on the other hand are insinuating a far more intimate relationship than they have any intention of giving. And that's the insult.

Some of the commentary about women here is, um, I want to say offensive but will go with discouraging. Do some of you folks not consider your own behaviour? TheStatutoryApe, did it ever occur to you that you're rejecting people with your behaviour? Yes, you're behaving professionally and that's likely the best response. But did you stop and look at it from other people's side? Maybe they don't want anything in particular from you, and you point-blank reject them and their offers. An awful, awful lot of people don't take rejection well and respond with hostility. I'm not saying that's right, but it's a fairly normal, consistent reaction.

The other fellow who's upset because women are overtly friendly when he's helping out, as other people pointed out, isn't that preferable? If you're helping someone, isn't a good thing that they're being nice and pleasant with you? I have people who I'm doing my utmost to help out be so astoundingly rude and miserable with me that I'd much, much prefer to tell them to go hang themselves than continue trying to resolve their problem. Do you really expect that you've just made a new best friend? That their intention was to sleep with you because you gave them tech support? Maybe, just maybe, you're misunderstanding or misreading their signals.

That's only true after marriage. Presumably if a woman is going to get by on her wiles, she's definitely going to delay her marriage until her beauty begins to diminishs (or if she gets tired of it).

That, that was just plain disheartening. It's a pity you think so poorly of women. I wonder what happens when your appearances "diminish".

 

[mcknia07]

I hate to say it, but being a female, I can tell you that "we" can get most men to do what we want. Now I'm not saying men are this way, but just females in general can get our way, but also being in a male dominated profession, we know how to sway it to our likings Now I don't think it is right for a woman to use beauty or slyness, but just use your witt.

 

[JasonRox]

Some of the commentary about women here is, um, I want to say offensive but will go with discouraging. Do some of you folks not consider your own behaviour? TheStatutoryApe, did it ever occur to you that you're rejecting people with your behaviour? Yes, you're behaving professionally and that's likely the best response. But did you stop and look at it from other people's side? Maybe they don't want anything in particular from you, and you point-blank reject them and their offers. An awful, awful lot of people don't take rejection well and respond with hostility. I'm not saying that's right, but it's a fairly normal, consistent reaction.

Yes!

I think guys who feel like this about girls all the time generally have low self-esteem and so on. In reality, lots of girls are attracted to security guards as weird as it sounds. So, technically they might be interested him at a certain level, but then he flat out rejects them.

Imagine getting rejected because the other person thinks your stupid and you just play games. It's VERY likely your response will be hostile.

Think about it. When I was in Quebec, just my accent can get me in bed with a girl. Or even, being a TA can get you in bed with a girl (NOT one from your class). Or being a SIMPLE volunteer at school (they actually make you sign a contract to not sleep with a girl the first week of school, of course my friend the VP did not make me sign it)!

It's not about sleeping with girls and such. I just want to say that there is a likelihood that attraction exists and by having such a negative view on things basically prevents ANYTHING from going further.

 

[JasonRox]

I hate to say it, but being a female, I can tell you that "we" can get most men to do what we want. Now I'm not saying men are this way, but just females in general can get our way, but also being in a male dominated profession, we know how to sway it to our likings Now I don't think it is right for a woman to use beauty or slyness, but just use your witt.

Definitely not true. It only seems true because the quality of guys you're after. And having control is probably something you're subconsciously attracted too.

I notice many times that very attractive girls only date guys that have no balls. That simple.

 

[mcknia07]

Definitely not true. It only seems true because the quality of guys you're after. And having control is probably something you're subconsciously attracted too.

I notice many times that very attractive girls only date guys that have no balls. That simple.

Well, I defantly don't think think that the girl should wear the pants in the relationship. Just how I am, but anyhow, that's so not the case. Well in the past I have dated jerks, but that's not because I'm pretty, because I'm not. SO, it must just be girls, we have to date a few frogs to get to the prince, as my mom puts it. I would like a man to be in control, but not controling.

I know a lot of very pretty women that date guys with balls, so you can't say all pretty girls date ball less guys.

 

[JasonRox]

Well, I defantly don't think think that the girl should wear the pants in the relationship. Just how I am, but anyhow, that's so not the case. Well in the past I have dated jerks, but that's not because I'm pretty, because I'm not. SO, it must just be girls, we have to date a few frogs to get to the prince, as my mom puts it. I would like a man to be in control, but not controling.

I know a lot of very pretty women that date guys with balls, so you can't say all pretty girls date ball less guys.

I'm just saying what's generally true. And I do know that girls can't get anything they want from me, and I mean from a simple buy me a soda to having sex.

I do what I want to do.

Also, the idea of wearing the pants of a relationship is also the dumbest concepts relationships nowadays have. It should be two people who have their own lives and as well as part of it is in a relationship with another. No one person should wear pants, or even "share" control. Any sense of control onto another is horrible and demeaning.

Sometimes girls say I have control of relationships, but I instantly correct them. They think I have control because they DON'T have control. So, because they don't have control, then they associate that with ME having control. Well, I don't control anything. I just do what I want and that's it. If she joins me, or I join her, it's all an individual choice... nothing more.

 

[mcknia07]

Well, ok yeah that's true too. But, guys have their ways to get girls to do things too. I think it all depends on how stong a male/female is, and I think it's wrong to sway someone into doing something, it should all be up to the 2 individuals and should equally agree on what is being said/done.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Sorry, I've been busy with chores so I haven't had time to respond to this. Women cannot get men to do anything they want. OK got to run now. More chores to do.

 

[Andre]

Seems that this thread is heading for a happy ending.

 

[rewebster]

I think from the title of the thread 'Can women really "get men to do anything" they want?' implies 'a control'. Some women can get almost anything they want---just as some men (almost) can.

Depending on a person's attributes, needs, desires, abilities, etc. along with what they want (and want to do) may help that person toward some area/level (and whether they want to be in control, or not). A woman/man that has 'beauty' may use that 'beauty' to try to control her environment. The same may be said of a man/woman that has 'money' or 'power'. A lot of the 'bad' connotations that go along with any attribute depends on what level of 'control' that the person with those 'attributes' uses the 'control'. A dictator and a leader both may have 'control', but it just depends on how they use the 'power(s)' that they have--if the quality is highly desired, that person may choose to learn how to 'dangle the carrot' more effectively to get even more of the desired 'effect' from those who want the 'carrot'. So, I think, it comes down to how much the person 'wants', and whether the other person 'wants' (and has the 'power' to somehow 'control' ) what the other person 'wants' (only if they choose to go in that direction/ whether they do it knowingly or as some sort of instinct reaction that they how or why they're doing it).

A good relation to me works on a kind of 'supply and demand' (control/giving up control) of along a Bell shaped curve of knowing what the 'other' person wants (from both sides)-----a teeter totter effect of many facets.

 

[JasonRox]

A good relation to me works on a kind of 'supply and demand' (control/giving up control) of along a Bell shaped curve of knowing what the 'other' person wants (from both sides)-----a teeter totter effect of many facets.

Knowing what the other person wants? That's another dumb concept in relationships.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Some of the commentary about women here is, um, I want to say offensive but will go with discouraging. Do some of you folks not consider your own behaviour? TheStatutoryApe, did it ever occur to you that you're rejecting people with your behaviour? Yes, you're behaving professionally and that's likely the best response. But did you stop and look at it from other people's side? Maybe they don't want anything in particular from you, and you point-blank reject them and their offers. An awful, awful lot of people don't take rejection well and respond with hostility. I'm not saying that's right, but it's a fairly normal, consistent reaction.

I'm always nice to them. No reason to not be nice if the person is being nice to me. I am just firm in letting them know that I can not accept their offers because it is not allowed and that I will be needing them to comply with the rules. There are plenty of nice people I deal with who offer me things and have no problem with my declining their offers. It's just certain people who after I have spoken with them the once and declined to be swayed by their flirtations or what have you will, if I have to speak with them again, suddenly treat me like I'm some ***hole.
I'm wondering what it says about the way you think that apparently making overt passes at some random security guard, offering him booze (while working), and trying to get him to feel up your breasts are all fairly normal friendly reactions when you're getting in trouble and that maybe I'm just making these ladies angry by rejecting them.

I think guys who feel like this about girls all the time generally have low self-esteem and so on. In reality, lots of girls are attracted to security guards as weird as it sounds. So, technically they might be interested him at a certain level, but then he flat out rejects them.

I've met ladies that flirt with me sincerely aswell. They're the ones that flirt everytime they see me and don't treat me differently just because I act professionally.

 

[rewebster]

Knowing what the other person wants? That's another dumb concept in relationships.

hmmmm...



Does she want children? Does she want to be a chemist? or a musician? (or a physicist?)

does she like (or want) to cuddle? does she like (or want) to go hiking, traveling, a white picket fence? does she want to try new things, go new places; or, does she want to stay at home?

"3) Attitude towards life and general values

This is a criterion which tends to get overlooked in relationships. This is because the true understanding of one’s attitudes and values takes time. When we go on dates, we are in the ‘impress’ mode, which makes us act out of sync with our real traits. We show that we care deeply for social issues, for poverty, for animals and so on but when we start life with another, those issues take a backseat. It’s not that we purposely try to fool a prospective partner-sometimes it’s just instinctive to show the best you can be. So if you are a not a vegetarian, don’t imply otherwise thinking that you will be able to convert if the relationship goes well. If you are not willing to be on the move, don’t talk about any wander lust."

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/what-to-look-for-in-a-good-relationship.html

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q="in+a+good+relationship"+&btnG=Google+Search

A 'want' is a 'like'

Does she want chocolate (and when)?

If you don't know what the 'other' person in the relationship wants (and likes), it can get 'one-sided' pretty quickly.

 

[JasonRox]

hmmmm...



Does she want children? Does she want to be a chemist? or a musician? (or a physicist?)

does she like (or want) to cuddle? does she like (or want) to go hiking, traveling, a white picket fence? does she want to try new things, go new places; or, does she want to stay at home?

"3) Attitude towards life and general values

This is a criterion which tends to get overlooked in relationships. This is because the true understanding of one’s attitudes and values takes time. When we go on dates, we are in the ‘impress’ mode, which makes us act out of sync with our real traits. We show that we care deeply for social issues, for poverty, for animals and so on but when we start life with another, those issues take a backseat. It’s not that we purposely try to fool a prospective partner-sometimes it’s just instinctive to show the best you can be. So if you are a not a vegetarian, don’t imply otherwise thinking that you will be able to convert if the relationship goes well. If you are not willing to be on the move, don’t talk about any wander lust."

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/what-to-look-for-in-a-good-relationship.html

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q="in+a+good+relationship"+&btnG=Google+Search

A 'want' is a 'like'

Does she want chocolate (and when)?

If you don't know what the 'other' person in the relationship wants (and likes), it can get 'one-sided' pretty quickly.

Exactly, but she tells you she wants does things. You can't just KNOW them. I confused the KNOW part as in, you SHOULD KNOW from who knows what.

Also, I'll never know WHEN she wants chocolate. Why not focus on what I want and she focuses on what she wants, and we let them come together. If they don't, relationship over.

 

[rewebster]

Exactly, but she tells you she wants does things. You can't just KNOW them. I confused the KNOW part as in, you SHOULD KNOW from who knows what.

Also, I'll never know WHEN she wants chocolate. Why not focus on what I want and she focuses on what she wants, and we let them come together. If they don't, relationship over.

funny----how do you expect to 'know' them without her telling you---"the Psychic Hotline"?


I've heard some women say something like "you're SUPPOSED to know that"---but it was said jokingly

Also, I'll never know WHEN she wants chocolate. Why not focus on what I want and she focuses on what she wants, and we let them come together. If they don't, relationship over.

I'd say that's maybe part of the reason why over 50% of the marriages end in divorce

"I expected that..." and "I had expectations that..." lead to disappointments if they aren't fulfulled. If you know what some of the 'wants' are before, that leads to less unfulfilled expectations.

 

[JasonRox]

funny----how do you expect to 'know' them without her telling you---"the Psychic Hotline"?


I've heard some women say something like "you're SUPPOSED to know that"---but it was said jokingly




I'd say that's maybe part of the reason why over 50% of the marriages end in divorce

"I expected that..." and "I had expectations that..." lead to disappointments if they aren't fulfulled. If you know what some of the 'wants' are before, that leads to less unfulfilled expectations.

Well, I wouldn't get married. But I think in general, the model marriage will always fall apart. It's not only a 50% divorce rate, but also separations that never get reported as divorces, marriages that stay together because someone is afraid to get out and so on. It's more like 90% or more of marriages fail.

I know some people here are in marriages and have been for a long time and I respect that. But, really the model marriage fails the majority of the time is because it's a bad model.

 

[rewebster]

Well, I wouldn't get married. But I think in general, the model marriage will always fall apart. It's not only a 50% divorce rate, but also separations that never get reported as divorces, marriages that stay together because someone is afraid to get out and so on. It's more like 90% or more of marriages fail.

I know some people here are in marriages and have been for a long time and I respect that. But, really the model marriage fails the majority of the time is because it's a bad model.

I thought I didn't want to get married (until I was 20)----and everyone is different.

Things can happen to change minds---especially if you run into a woman that makes life sparkle




this may be an example of the thread 'title' (but its more 'sales'):

http://cgi.ebay.com/2-Detroit-Tigers-vs-Cleveland-Indians-8-26-3-Coupons_W0QQitemZ320287729831QQihZ011QQcategoryZ16122QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

do you like those seats? a good enough offer will get them

 

[JasonRox]

I thought I didn't want to get married (until I was 20)----and everyone is different.

Things can happen to change minds---especially if you run into a woman that makes life sparkle




this may be an example of the thread 'title' (but its more 'sales'):

http://cgi.ebay.com/2-Detroit-Tigers-vs-Cleveland-Indians-8-26-3-Coupons_W0QQitemZ320287729831QQihZ011QQcategoryZ16122QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

do you like those seats? a good enough offer will get them

Yeah, I will change my mind.

 

[Cyrus]

Seems that this thread is heading for a happy ending.

That will cost you extra.

Reading this thread makes my head hurt. Bye bye.

 

[bassplayer142]

It matters how much money she has... No, but seriously, No woman can make me do something I don't want to. My reputation and humility is far greater then my lust.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

It matters how much money she has...

Some people say I married my wife because she was a millionaire, but it's not true. I would have married her if she only had $999,999.99

 

[bassplayer142]

Some people say I married my wife because she was a millionaire, but it's not true. I would have married her if she only had $999,999.99

If you didn't notice that was supposed to be a joke. I agree with you 100% that money plays a small role.

 

[rewebster]

If you didn't notice that was supposed to be a joke. I agree with you 100% that money plays a small role.

that's usually true of more men than of more women-----

from the 'traditional' viewpoint--women need/'needed' a 'good' supplier/provider

one reason why some women are labeled 'gold diggers' more than men----how many movies have you seen about 'gold digging' men?

and the most noticable ones stand out --e.g.---Anna Nicole Smith

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

If you didn't notice that was supposed to be a joke.

Actually, I lifted it, as usual. This time from a song that I heard just last night.

Molly dear, now did you hear what all the neighbors say
About the hundred sovreigns you have safely stowed away?
They say that's why I love you. Ah but Molly, that's a shame
If you had only ninety-nine, I'd love you just the same.
http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/irish-folk-music/007156.HTM"

 

[vincentm]

Being a male, I've heard women frequently tell me that they can make men do anything they so desired (within reason, I'd assume). The sheer lack of humility of such a statement makes me think it's just something women say because they heard other women say it also. But I was wondering what the experience of the women in this forum really was. Can you ladies really get anything you request from a guy (within reason)?

You're argument relies on generalizations, so the answer is. NO

 

[rewebster]

https://www.amazon.com/dp/141966624X/?tag=pfamazon01-20

 

[LightbulbSun]

You are a male, and trying to avoid sex, flirtation, and bosom flashing? Are you homosexual?

I seriously hope you were joking because this is such an obvious false dichotomy. It's crude in thought to be quite honest.