Chuck Norris Counts to Infinity Twice

[FizixFreak]

Problem is... Chuck Norris doesn't have friends, he's a One Man Wrecking Crew.

No you are wrong...,kill him chuck kill him!

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

So you're saying Chuck isn't a One Man Wrecking Crew?

 

[FizixFreak]

So you're saying Chuck isn't a One Man Wrecking Crew?

You will not live long enough to find the answer!

Chuck Norris can make Nismar's lesbian friend straight

 

[nismaratwork]

You will not live long enough to find the answer!

Chuck Norris can make Nismar's lesbian friend straight

He could too, it's not that he's attractive, he just has magical powers.

She'd go back to women when he was gone however, even Norris has his limits.


Chuck Norris can command slime-molds to form enormous structures and act as his private army, or privy (depending on need).

Chuck Norris takes his coffee black, with a splash of botulinum for flavor.

Chuck Norris injects sea-snake venom into his neck every morning to get him going.

 

[FizixFreak]

Chuck Norris has seven testicles often referred to as DRAGON BALLZ!

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris has seven testicles often referred to as DRAGON BALLZ!

Hmmmm... I'd hate to see the dragon appear!

 

[FizixFreak]

Hmmmm... I'd hate to see the dragon appear!

Dont worry about the dragon only worry about chuck Norris!

 

[zorro]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

This is ultimate!

 

[FizixFreak]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

Abdul Quadeer...,MASHA-ALLAH nice name you are either from south Asia or middle east am i right?

 

[FizixFreak]

"Chuck norris cannot use reguler toilets like other humans...,thats why we have BLACK HOLES in our galaxy"

From the book "A BRIEF HISTORY OF CHUCK NORRIS".

"We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are made equal...,accept of chuck Norris"

From "THE DECLARATION OF CHUCK-DEPENDENCE".

When you type "google chuck norris" in google and click "i am feeling lucky" this is what you get

http://www.nochucknorris.com/

 

[zorro]

Abdul Quadeer...,MASHA-ALLAH nice name you are either from south Asia or middle east am i right?

Yeah.
I am from India

 

[FizixFreak]

Yeah.
I am from India

I am from Pakistan.

اٌپ سے مل کر بھت خوشی ھوئی

Indian Muslims can read Urdu can't they?

 

[zorro]

I am from Pakistan.

اٌپ سے مل کر بھت خوشی ھوئی

Indian Muslims can read Urdu can't they?

Yeah they can but this is not the right place for introductions. Visitor or Private messages

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Altas doesn't support the Earth, Chuck Norris does.

 

[cobalt124]

Chuck Norris will make the 3,000,000th post. He doesn't have to be a member, he'll just kick his way in and do it!

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

He will make the 4,000,000th post even though we're not there yet.

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris is pleased, but nobody knows why...

edit: Abdul: Maybe not the place, but it's interesting to see the greeting. If this forum were not so diverse, it would be incredibly dull.

 

[zorro]

edit: Abdul: Maybe not the place, but it's interesting to see the greeting. If this forum were not so diverse, it would be incredibly dull.

You are right but I don't want any warning/infraction (had enough ) -

Do not hijack an existing thread with off-topic comments or questions--start a new thread.

Any off-topic posts will be deleted or moved to an appropriate forum per administrator or mentor discretion.

- https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=414380"

If you gurantee me that nothing will happen I have no problem greeting him back here

 

[nismaratwork]

You are right but I don't want any warning/infraction (had enough ) -

- https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=414380"

If you gurantee me that nothing will happen I have no problem greeting him back here

Oh, I know what you mean, but this is 'chuck norris facts'... I'd say you're safe.
No guarantee though...

So...

Chuck Norris commands the loyalty of wild animals with subtle movements of his beard.

Chuck Norris wears depleted Uranium boots so his kicks can penetrate tank-armor.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

They tried using an IQ computer test on Chuck Norris.

The computer crashed because of a divide by zero error.

 

[cobalt124]

Chuck Norris found the Riemann Hypothesis and kicked the solution out of it. PvsNP is in hiding.

 

[Pythagorean]

[Bruce] Lee had repeatedly humiliated Norris during a mock sparring session in the hotel hallway at the Long Beach International Karate Championships. Norris had offended Lee when he publicly claimed to be a better fighter than Lee. When word got back to Lee, he called Norris and openly challenged him, threatening to drive to his school to fight (Norris was teaching his black belt class at that time). According to eye witnesses, Lee made Norris hold the phone receiver up and shout in front of his black belts, “Bruce Lee is a better fighter than me!” Later, Norris wrote an Apologetic Letter to Lee; the original is currently in the care of Lee’s student, Dan Inosanto.

http://www.physical-exertion.com/dan-inosanto/bruce-lee-and-chuck-norris-fought-in-real-life/

 

[IMP]

Chuck Norris can post anything in this forum without ever getting a warning from Evo, or did I just reach the limit of the Chuck power? :-)

 

[Pythagorean]

If Chick Norris borrowed Charlie Sheens brain he would be like "dude can't handle it" and it would melt his face off.

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris smokes Charlie Sheen's hair, and drinks Keith Richards' spent blood just to get a buzz.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Chuck Norris can get a free lunch.

 

[FizixFreak]

You are right but I don't want any warning/infraction (had enough ) -

- https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=414380"

If you gurantee me that nothing will happen I have no problem greeting him back here

Abdul i guess nismar is right this is just chuck norris facts not a thread about string theory or Riemann hypothesis so its no big deal if we go a little of topic but not too much though.

Nismar i think you know what i am talking about

Anyways...,

Chuck Norris once won a breast stroke contest.....,without using his hand!

John Nash did not suffered from schizophrenia chuck Norris was just playing mind games with him!

Chuck Norris can force cows to lay eggs!

The reason why Qaddafi ceased fire is because chuck Norris threatened to round house kick him...., in the face!(YEAH)

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Abdul i guess nismar is right this is just chuck norris facts not a thread about string theory or Riemann hypothesis so its no big deal if we go a little of topic but not too much though.

Nismar i think you know what i am talking about

Here's a good one that got off-topic. Hilarious.
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=468765

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

When you type "google chuck norris" in google and click "i am feeling lucky" this is what you get

http://www.nochucknorris.com/

 

[FizixFreak]

Here's a good one that got off-topic. Hilarious.
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=468765

This is where it got really of topic

https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=466953&page=1

check out the 7th page

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

This is where it got really of topic

https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=466953&page=1

check out the 7th page

 

[FizixFreak]

oooooooooooops! sorry about that this thread was actually split here is the off topic discussion which happened in the same thread but was later split

https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=477452

 

[nismaratwork]

Here's a good one that got off-topic. Hilarious.
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=468765

That was an excellent group effort including staff.

Chuck Norris IS the launch system for Tomahawk missiles: he kicks them out of the launch tubes.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Here's another one. Go a few pages into it.
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=481979

And the irony is... this thread itself is getting off-topic about getting off-topic!

:D :D :D

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick any thread back onto topic!

 

[FizixFreak]

Chuck Norris is the president of united states.

(not to get off topic but did anybody saw UFC 128)

 

[cobalt124]

Whether Chuck Norris decides to be the unstoppable force or the immovable object decides the outcome.

EDIT: I've just insulted him ('ulp!), he's obviously both at the same time!

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris is the president of united states.

(not to get off topic but did anybody saw UFC 128)

Chuck Norris has been ALL of the presidents of the USA.

(Nope, was it good? I haven't had the chance yet)

 

[nismaratwork]

Whether Chuck Norris decides to be the unstoppable force or the immovable object decides the outcome.

EDIT: I've just insulted him ('ulp!), he's obviously both at the same time!

We'll give you a lovely eulogy because...

...Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you into a grave through teh internetz!

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

Chuck Norris invented the Internet for his own entertainment.

 

[FizixFreak]

Chuck Norris has been ALL of the presidents of the USA.

(Nope, was it good? I haven't had the chance yet)

Chuck Norris has to wear a underwear made out of pure lead or else the radiation from his genitals will make people pregnant.

(well if you want to watch it here it is

http://www.mmageeks.co.cc/2011/03/ufc-128-fight-videos.html

crocop vs schaub

Mauricio vs jon jones

these are the main two fights)

 

[mugaliens]

you're really stretching with that last one, aren't you FF?

still funny :)

 

[mugaliens]

Chuck Norris has been ALL of the presidents of the USA.

:)



four more characters...

 

[FizixFreak]

stretching...,how?

 

[IMP]

Chuck Norris can exit a black hole with little effort.

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris has to wear a underwear made out of pure lead or else the radiation from his genitals will make people pregnant.

(well if you want to watch it here it is

http://www.mmageeks.co.cc/2011/03/ufc-128-fight-videos.html

crocop vs schaub

Mauricio vs jon jones

these are the main two fights)

And here I thought radiation tended to steralize... Chuck Norris has mighty glow-in-the-dark sperm!

(I'll watch that, thanks!)

 

[DevilsAvocado]

Chuck Norris can exit a black hole with little effort.

Chuck Norris do not exit black holes, black holes exit Chuck Norris.

 

[Newai]

Chuck Norris do not exit black holes, black holes exit Chuck Norris.

... every time he exhales.

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris has a black hole in his beard, where he disposes of the bodies...