Collection of Science Jokes P2

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The discussion revolves around a collection of science-related jokes and humorous anecdotes shared among forum members. A notable joke features a mathematician with a dog and a cow who are claimed to be knot theorists, leading to a playful exchange with a bartender. Other jokes include puns related to physics, such as Heisenberg's uncertainty principle and light-hearted takes on mathematical concepts. The conversation also touches on the nature of humor in science, with members explaining the nuances of certain jokes, particularly those involving mathematical notation. Additionally, there are references to classic jokes that have circulated over the years, illustrating how humor can bridge complex scientific ideas with everyday life. Overall, the thread highlights the community's appreciation for clever wordplay and the joy of sharing science humor.
  • #1,451
jbriggs444 said:
Ooooh, I got one...

It would bearly fit.
got me a thinking -
Something to ponder about late at night in bed when you can't sleep.
Is bare meat when they take the fat off?
 
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  • #1,452
DrClaude said:
Yes, really. It's 12 UK fluid ounces.
Ah - what the 330ml cans approximate, I presume. I don't think I've seen 341ml bottles, though - maybe I haven't looked.
 
  • #1,453
Ibix said:
Ah - what the 330ml cans approximate, I presume. I don't think I've seen 341ml bottles, though - maybe I haven't looked.
Then let me make some free publicity for my favorite beer:

rasseurs-du-Nord-Boreale-Biere-Rousse_OADA_670x500.jpg
 
  • #1,454
DrClaude said:
Then let me make some free publicity for my favorite beer:
Canadian? Not sure it's available in the UK, but I'll keep an eye out.
 
  • #1,455
256bits said:
Ha - We still buy eggs by the dozen, lettuce by the head - is that a metric or imperial unit of measure?
The lettuce one is metric. The imperial version is the off-with-his-head of lettuce.
 
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  • #1,456
Screen Shot 2019-11-14 at 8.01.40 AM.png
 
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  • #1,457
The alt-text on that one is good too - "More likely: Click on all the pictures of people who appear disloyal to [name of company or government]"
 
  • #1,458
Ibix said:
Some friends came over to the UK from Spain and wondered why we sell milk in units of 1.136 litres. Two pints, in metric.

OMG, seriously, I would be wondering as well, it wasn't just done to 1litre, 2litre etc ?
 
  • #1,459
davenn said:
OMG, seriously, I would be wondering as well, it wasn't just done to 1litre, 2litre etc ?
We used to sell it in pints, or simple multiples thereof. When we switched to using metric officially there was a huge outcry about it - largely from the type of conservative who (to quote David Eddings) "wouldn't change their underwear if they didn't have to". Carrying on selling in pints, just labelled differently, was a form of social judo. By changing literally nothing except the number on the bottle (and we'd had dual labelling for years anyway) they were more or less totally disarmed. And sensible metric quantities have slowly crept in - beer in 500ml cans isn't uncommon now, for example.

To be fair, I think there were concerns that shops would stop selling pints and start selling half litres but not change the price - a per-volume rise of over 13%. And since exactly that happened the other way around, at least in some places, when Europe introduced the Euro (many things got their prices rounded up to the next multiple of 5 cents, never down), there probably was some genuine concern.
 
  • #1,460
Ibix said:
Canadian? Not sure it's available in the UK, but I'll keep an eye out.
It's from a microbrewery in Montreal.
 
  • #1,461
Family Guy - How the Universe was made
 
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  • #1,462
Physicists & Mathematicians:

"You can't approximate every constant we worked so hard to prove."

Enginneers:

##e = \pi = 3##
 
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  • #1,463
1574209108133.png
 
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  • #1,466
Instructions: Insert an exclamation point where needed.

I want to kiss you 6 times​

Normal people:

I want to kiss you 6 times!

Math people:

I want to kiss you 6! times
 
  • #1,467
jack action said:

Normal people:

I want to kiss you 6 times!

Math people:

I want to kiss you 6! times
That was actually my first thought: 6! together with the question: where else would it make sense?
 
  • #1,468
jack action said:
Normal people: I want to kiss you 6 times!

Math people: I want to kiss you 6! times
That reminds me (not actually a joke but a curious fact). Did you know that 10! seconds is exactly 42 days? Maybe that was the ultimate question.
 
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  • #1,469
DrGreg said:
That reminds me (not actually a joke but a curious fact). Did you know that 10! seconds is exactly 42 days? Maybe that was the ultimate question.
Makes sense.
Earth was a giant supercomputer designed to find the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. Designed by Deep Thought and built by the Magratheans, it was commonly mistaken for a planet, especially by the ape descendants who lived on it.
But as "days" varies in time, they have to hurry up reading the output.
 
  • #1,470
Inspired by the lame jokes thread:

Why didn't Hamilton travel more?
If a city had a dead end there was no path for him.

Edit: Hmm... working on it.

Why did Hamilton get lost so often?
He couldn't find a path.
 
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  • #1,471
telling people about science.jpg
 
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  • #1,472
1574906790084.png
 
  • #1,473
665 no-number/pound HAL times bracket cathedral?

- HAL 9000
- Stephansdom in Vienna.

Edit: 665, not 655
 
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  • #1,474
mfb said:
655 no-number/pound HAL times bracket cathedral?

- HAL 9000
- Stephansdom in Vienna.
Close. With the kind of number and read differently it will be the solution.
 
  • #1,475
times 10 = 9,984984984...
Is that an infamous number?
 
  • #1,476
OEIS doesn't know 9,8,4,9,8,4,9,8. Where does that number come from?
fresh_42 said:
Close. With the kind of number and read differently it will be the solution.
No idea.
 
  • #1,477
mfb said:
OEIS doesn't know 9,8,4,9,8,4,9,8. Where does that number come from?No idea.
665 is a happy number, so "Happy HaL number - o(Wien)". I had no idea for "Thanksgiving".
 
  • #1,478
mfb said:
OEIS doesn't know 9,8,4,9,8,4,9,8. Where does that number come from?No idea.
665/666 ( Hal Worship - Helll Worship)
 
  • #1,479
fresh_42 said:
665 is a happy number, so "Happy HaL number - o(Wien)". I had no idea for "Thanksgiving".
Well I didn't know of happy numbers!
 
  • #1,480
Lots of jokes about the Tesla Cybertruck look out there. Here's the mathematician's version:

4SWS6IZYSS3W9Yw5QaWhqWrZ6w&_nc_ht=scontent.fymq3-1.jpg
 
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  • #1,481
too much pi.jpg
 
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  • #1,482
Snowmen Evolution.png
 
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  • #1,483
If all snowflakes are different, does this mean it's impossible for snowmen to have identical twins?
 
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  • #1,484
enhanced-3044-1444665990-1.png
 
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  • #1,485
Today's SMBC .
I could rip the image, but then you wouldn't get to read the mouseover popup and click the red button.
 
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  • #1,486
Of course, if you replace "badness" with "prices", that's describing inflation. "Inflation is falling" means prices are still rising, but the second derivative of prices is negative. But they never present it like that.
 
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  • #1,487
give up on chemistry test.jpg


lion king
 
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  • #1,488
jack action said:
I want to kiss you 6! times

fresh_42 said:
That was actually my first thought: 6! together with the question: where else would it make sense?
Or
I! want to kiss you 6 times.
 
  • #1,489
I bought some ediable molecular models for the holidays!

This is the hydrogen set:

donut holes.jpg
 
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  • #1,490
It's mixed with air. Careful, it is explosive.
 
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  • #1,491
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.

Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.

In our lab, theory and practice are combined:

Nothing works and no one knows why.​
 
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  • #1,492
jack action said:
Nothing works and no one knows why.
If we knew what we are doing, it wouldn't be research.
 
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  • #1,493
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.
 
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  • #1,494
There are two types of physicists: mathematicians and blacksmiths.

... run and cover ... (it was only a quote) ...
 
  • #1,495
fresh_42 said:
There are two types of physicists: mathematicians and blacksmiths.
Now you've opened that door...

There are 10 types of mathematicians: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Comment: this is a rare example of a joke that only works in writing, and fails when spoken. Often it's the other way around.
 
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  • #1,496
DrGreg said:
There are 10 types of mathematicians: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
I thought there were 10 types - those that understand ternary, those that don't, and those that thought this was going to be a joke about binary.

(Which caused somebody upthread to comment that he thought he saw an inductive proof that there are infinitely many jokes of this form, and that life would never be dull...)
 
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  • #1,497
Yes the door is opened,
As they were discussing, the binary-ist and the ternary-ist agreed to disagree if 10 was company or a crowd.
 
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  • #1,498
It is that time of year again:

wQooQ4Zav6ZqCfqLCYW8ibEkTw&_nc_ht=scontent.fyhu2-1.jpg
 
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  • #1,499
1576615405311.png
 
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  • #1,500
jack action said:
It is that time of year again.
Oh dear, that means I'll have to rearrange this equation yet again.$$
y = \frac{1}{r^2} \ln \left( \frac{X}{m} - sa\right)
$$
 
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