Collection of Science Jokes P2

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

Another Example of Cartoon Physics:

 

[Torbert]

 

[sandy stone]

In the interest of scientific accuracy, I must point out that flying fish definitely do fly, or at least glide for extended distances, as can be seen in any number of Youtube videos. Thank you, I feel better now.

 

[Klystron]

<snip>
Which drink is the most popular among astronauts?

Spoiler

Full Throttle.

That's easy. Any kid from the 1960's knows Astronauts prefer:

Spoiler: Astronauts drink

Tang!

But what do Cosmonauts drink?

Spoiler: Cosmonauts drink

Tang flavoured Vodka

 

[Ibix]

WANTED: DEAD AND ALIVE
Schrodinger's Cat

 

[DifferentialGalois]

Why was Tesla marvelling at his greatness upon comparison with Carl Friedrich Gauss?
Because 1 Tesla = 10,000 Gauss.

 

[DifferentialGalois]

Why was Tesla superior to Wilhelm Weber?
Because every weber per square metre corresponded to a Tesla.

 

[mfb]

Similarly: Fermat, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek. It is Fermat's turn to search the others, he covers his eyes and starts counting. While Pascal runs away and hides, Newton takes some chalk and marks a square on the ground with a side length of exactly 1 meter, then sits down inside the square.

Fermat finishes counting, opens his eyes and shouts "I found you Newton!"
Newton: "No, you found one Newton per square meter, you found Pascal!"

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

Shouldn't of a pumpkin cancel, though?

 

[mfb]

Pumpkin is the identity.

 

[Ibix]

Pumpkin is the identity.

I'm just going to carve a large $I$ on my pumpkin this year.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

If we cut a cake into 3 pieces, each piece will be 0.333 of the main piece.

If we multiply 0.333 times 3, we get 0.999.

So what happened to the 0.001?!

Spoiler: Answer

You will find it on the knife.

 

[jack action]

When somebody order 1 Kig of onions:

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 250864

http://bofh.bjash.com/bofh/bofh1.html

 

[DennisN]

BOFH

"I need more space" he says
"Well, why not move to Texas?" I ask

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

Scientists figured out that birthdays are extremely healthy. With a 3 sigma confidence they have shown that people with more birthdays tend to live longer.

 

[Ibix]

Scientists figured out that birthdays are extremely healthy. With a 3 sigma confidence they have shown that people with more birthdays tend to live longer.

Correlation does not imply causation.

 

[mfb]

Scientists figured out that birthdays are extremely healthy. With a 3 sigma confidence they have shown that people with more birthdays tend to live longer.

Most of the outliers were born on February 29.

 

[davenn]

I make no bones about the fact that I met my girlfriend at the Museum of Paleontology.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 250864

PEBKAC

A friend of a friend works in Tech Support. The phone rang one day - "Hi, it's John from Accounts. I've got a problem with my computer. I rang Dave (edit: the other support guy) who said I had an ID ten T error, and you'd know what that meant and how to fix it." He had to go on hold for a bit, then think of a face-saving way out of the situation.

 

[DennisN]

 

[Keith_McClary]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/orbit

 

[jack action]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[Ibix]

xkcd solves all major outstanding problems in cosmology: https://m.xkcd.com/2216/.

 

[collinsmark]

(Source: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/fun-fact)

 

[fresh_42]

 

[256bits]

xkcd solves all major outstanding problems in cosmology: https://m.xkcd.com/2216/.

So there really is something to the spherical cow concept.
Who knew.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

It was a busy day...

...first a scientific diet was tested at the lunchtable...

...and later in the lab they found a new toy...

...while the folks at the accelerator were doing new discoveries...

 

[DennisN]

Person 1: Did you hear about the musician and mathematician?

Person 1: Did you hear about the dancer and mathematician?
Person 2: No, what does he do?
Person 1: Mostly square dance.

 

[DifferentialGalois]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[mfb]

The angle doesn't depend on the mass :(

 

[256bits]

The angle doesn't depend on the mass :(

But the thing does look tilted somewhat.

 

[Ibix]

The angle doesn't depend on the mass :(

"Honey, am I fat?"

"No, you only violate the equivalence principle."

 

[Demystifier]

Scientists figured out that birthdays are extremely healthy. With a 3 sigma confidence they have shown that people with more birthdays tend to live longer.

They also found that smoking is healthy. The longer you smoke the longer you live.

 

[Demystifier]

Hidden variables solve all the mysteries.
https://www.gif-vif.com/backstage

 

[DrClaude]

They also found that smoking is healthy. The longer you smoke the longer you live.

https://tylervigen.com/page?page=1

 

[Ibix]

What do you get if you cross a sheep with an octopus?

A rebuke fom the ethics board.

 

[DennisN]

Hidden variables solve all the mysteries.
https://www.gif-vif.com/backstage

You've found Schrödinger's glass!

 

[ali PMPAINT]

She was wondering why he has not yet told anything.His silence was killing her and so she started the conversation.

She- What’s the date today?

He- 29th Oct, 14

She- (in a cold tone) What is special about today?

He- (adjusting his tie in front of the mirror) Yes! Today’s date 29 is a prime number.

She- (little infuriated)- Anything else?

He- (thinks)- Well yes, if we write the date as 29.10.2014 then sum of digits is 19 which is also a prime number.That’s strange! But why are you asking;

(He was so excited that she has started taking interest in numbers as well. When he looks at her; she was staring at him with a look that showed- “This guy is hopelessly unromantic”

She- (tries to control her anger and asks in a calm tone) Anything special about this day dear with respect to us?

He- Yes, the sum of our wedding date 29.10.2012 is 17 which is also a prime number. See I still rememberrrrrr….Oh dang….

Hey Darling! Happy 2nd Wedding Anniversary! Oh! 2nd..great.. that’s also a prime number.

He got death stares!

 

[collinsmark]

(Source: http://smbc-comics.com/comic/the-data)