Dropped out of grad school for the third time today

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Physics_UG
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Welp, I dropped out of grad school for the third (yes, third) time today. I wil be driving back home again and looking for a job.

This is the same grad school that I have dropped out of 3 times. The first time I was just sick of school. When I came back I got depressed and had to leave again. Th third time I came back (this time) my classes were over my head and I felt like I fell too far behind to catch up.

So I am back on the job market. I don't know whether to be relieved and glad or depressed. I think if I go back to school later on it will be part time while I am working. I have wasted 3 yrs of my life in grad school and I have nothing to show for it.

Edit: this is electrical engineering grad school btw.
 

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  • #2
Pengwuino
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That sucks.
 
  • #3
Physics_UG
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indeed
 
  • #4
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That really sucks
 
  • #5
Char. Limit
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I agree with Peng and Micro. That really does suck.
 
  • #6
Pyrrhus
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I don't mean to discourage you, but obviously three attempts at grad school and failing should mean that perhaps you need a break, and try something different. You know, not everybody needs to get a PhD or do research. You need to find what exactly you enjoy. It's ok NOT to enjoy doing research.

I advised someone in this site. He/she dropped out of grad school for his/her second time. I remember I said the same statements. You don't need to get a PhD. You don't need to do research... Don't force yourself into situations you just don't want. Try to take a break, and work for a few years and figure out what you want to do.
 
  • #7
Physics_UG
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I don't know why I can't motivate myself to finish anything. I'm not (usually) lazy. I'm definitely not stupid.
 
  • #8
Evo
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Sounds like your heart's not in it. Is there another field you prefer?
 
  • #9
Physics_UG
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I don't mean to discourage you, but obviously three attempts at grad school and failing should mean that perhaps you need a break, and try something different. You know, not everybody needs to get a PhD or do research. You need to find what exactly you enjoy. It's ok NOT to enjoy doing research.
the two times I came back my advisors told me to not worry about research and focus on my classes. Well, I couldn't seem to motivate myself to do anything. I think I have just realized that grad school isn't where I am meant to me.

Also, I am drunk.
 
  • #11
Physics_UG
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Sounds like your heart's not in it. Is there another field you prefer?
I would just like to find an electrical engineering job that I ENJOY doing. If I find it necessary I will go back to grad school to get an MBA or masters in EE part time. Part of the reason I came back to grad school or a third time was because I hated my job. It required pretty much no thinking at all.
 
  • #14
Pyrrhus
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the two times I came back my advisors told me to not worry about research and focus on my classes. Well, I couldn't seem to motivate myself to do anything. I think I have just realized that grad school isn't where I am meant to me.
Usually in the early days of your grad experience, Advisors ease students into research (which actually happens QUICKLY by your 1st summer or 2nd semester you're doing research). Motivation is important. I remember my advisor told me once he had a Brilliant student, but he dropped out with a Master, because he couldn't get himself into more years of being a grad student. Being a grad student is not pretty is you don't enjoy. You are at the bottom of everything, and everyone expects so much out of you. Thus, the ones that usually stay either have a high tolerance and/or passionate about what they do.
 
  • #15
Physics_UG
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Usually in the early days of your grad experience, Advisors ease students into research (which actually happens QUICKLY by your 1st summer or 2nd semester you're doing research). Motivation is important. I remember my advisor told me once he had a Brilliant student, but he dropped out with a Master, because he couldn't get himself into more years of being a grad student. Being a grad student is not pretty is you don't enjoy. You are at the bottom of everything, and everyone expects so much out of you. Thus, the ones that usually stay either have a high tolerance and/or passionate about what they do.
True. I think I lack a passion for the technical aspects of things. I think I would have been better off had I went into a business field like finance or accounting. Something mathematical but not so technical.
 
  • #16
Pyrrhus
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True. I think I lack a passion for the technical aspects of things. I think I would have been better off had I went into a business field like finance or accounting. Something mathematical but not so technical.
You can still do that if you want to, but I'd recommend stay away from school at least a few months, and to be certain that you want to go back for a MBA or MS EE.
 
  • #17
Physics_UG
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You can still do that if you want to, but I'd recommend stay away from school at least a few months, and to be certain that you want to go back for a MBA or MS EE.
The last two times I returned to grad school I was away from grad school for a year but I came back and failed.

Also, I didn't even finish with a masters. I just have (two) BS degrees. One in physics and one in EE.
 
  • #18
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I am pretty sure that there are people who were away, working in the industry and came back to school for a Master's and got one.

Sounds like you don't have the motivation. If you don't have it, than don't go into grad school.

I don't know what you value in life, so I can't tell you what to do.

However if you're going to grad school because you don't know what you want, than stop and take a break. Ask yourself what you want and follow that desire.
 
  • #19
Physics_UG
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I am pretty sure that there are people who were away, working in the industry and came back to school for a Master's and got one.

Sounds like you don't have the motivation. If you don't have it, than don't go into grad school.

I don't know what you value in life, so I can't tell you what to do.

However if you're going to grad school because you don't know what you want, than stop and take a break. Ask yourself what you want and follow that desire.
Getting a PhD and becoming a professor has been what I've wanted since 2006. I just don;t have the motivation to follow through with it. I just quit giving a **** about everything after dropping out the first time.
 
  • #20
Physics_UG
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Honestly, the first itme I dropped out I had some psychological issues (paranoia, hearing voices, etc) that forced me to leave. I also felt like everyone eas talking about me behind my back (which I am still convinced to this day that they were.)
 
  • #21
Pyrrhus
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Several points to consider

1) Don't return to your previous grad school if later you change your mind about doing a PhD. This might help with the paranoia sentiment that you think you're failure, and thus think everyone else thinks and talks about it which may or may not be true. Everyone is different and deals with sentiments like these in their own way, but if this is a problem to you another Grad school can help.

2) Sometimes we say we want to be an astronaut, a professor, a researcher, but then the reality sets in, and it's hard to confront our expectations. At first, you thought you'd enjoy an activity and once you actually do it, you realize you don't.

3) You need to take a break and do something else. There's no point in going back again for a fourth time, if you can't find any interest in it. Find a job. Work, and see what's going on. Try with a Master's part time while you're working, but don't push yourself if you see again you are not interested about it.
 
  • #22
Physics_UG
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Several points to consider

1) Don't return to your previous grad school if later you change your mind about doing a PhD. This might help with the paranoia sentiment that you think you're failure, and thus think everyone else thinks and talks about it which may or may not be true. Everyone is different and deals with sentiments like these in their own way, but if this is a problem to you another Grad school can help.

2) Sometimes we say we want to be an astronaut, a professor, a researcher, but then the reality sets in, and it's hard to confront our expectations. At first, you thought you'd enjoy an activity and once you actually do it, you realize you don't.

3) You need to take a break and do something else. There's no point in going back again for a fourth time, if you can't find any interest in it. Find a job. Work, and see what's going on. Try with a Master's part time while you're working, but don't push yourself if you see again you are not interested about it.
Thanks. I definitely on't be coming bac kto this hell hold ever again.
 
  • #23
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Visit a therapist. Changing your mind about something isn't the end of the world as you know it.
 
  • #24
Physics_UG
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Visit a therapist. Changing your mind about something isn't the end of the world as you know it.
I've seen therapists, I've seen psychiatrists, etc. Nothing seems to work for me.
 
  • #25
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Well, at least don't give up. I don't want to psychologise the topic any more than I may have already done.
 

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