Great one-liners from PF members

[phinds]

Is this question serious, or some kind of humour that I don't get?

I had the same problem. The post doesn't really seem coherent which is very odd for sysprog, I don't recall his posts being like that in the past.

@sysprog it looks like your humor fell flat this time. It happens to the best of us. Here's an example where it really DID happen to one of the greatest humorists of all time:
https://www.newenglandhistoricalsociety.com/mark-twain-bombs-historys-first-roast/

 

[Bystander]

it really DID happen to one of the greatest humorists of all time:

Poets do NOT have senses of humor.

 

[phinds]

Poets do NOT have senses of humor.

Well, maybe but there were prose luminaries there as well and apparently all were horrified. Twain just flat blew it.

 

[sysprog]

Is this question serious, or some kind of humour that I don't get?

I think that it's serious-comedic and that you get it rather well.

If the former, then yes, failing to respond would be impolite, since the host needs to estimate the number of attendees for logistical planning reasons.

Of course; however, shouldn't the default presumption be that the non-responding invitee doesn't intend to attend? Isn't the need for me to respond stronger if I am going to attend than if I'm not? I don't need a chair to be reserved for me if I'm not going to be there, and if I show up without having responded, if there's no chair for me then that's my fault. I think that your not responding should be taken to mean a default presumption that you won't be attending.

Unless you think the host is a complete tosser that you never wish to interact with ever again, I believe it's polite to send a reply giving some reasonable-sounding excuse why you can't come, but nevertheless wishing them well for their event.

requoting this part for its haha value:

Unless you think the host is a complete tosser that you never wish to interact with ever again,

I think that we should not without sufficient cause impose duty on our friends; however, if I receive a message that says RSVP, I will respond, and will earnestly endeavor that I not fail to do as I will then have in my response said.

 

[sysprog]

@phinds thank for that comment -- I'll mull it over . . .

 

[StevieTNZ]

One of my favourites is "you must be popular at parties", stated to a member by some SA or mentor in a soccer maths thread. Very appropriate attitude I say.

 

[Borg]

This one isn't from PF but it was just too good to pass up.

I would agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

 

[sysprog]

I wish that I could give both a like and a haha to that one from @Borg $\dots$

 

[davenn]

my fav. and why it has been in my signature for some years was from the late Jim Hardy
and it fits me nicely ...

"We old guys often have to dredge back through forty or fifty years of life's detritus to remember our basics and our RAM isn't completely non-volatile" -- Jim Hardy ( PF)

 

[sysprog]

my fav. and why it has been in my signature for some years was from the late Jim Hardy
and it fits me nicely ...

"We old guys often have to dredge back through forty or fifty years of life's detritus to remember our basics and our RAM isn't completely non-volatile" -- Jim Hardy ( PF)

I think that anyone here on PF might benefit from reading posts of Dearly Missed "old jim" Jim Hardy . . .

 

[jack action]

Again, @Vanadium 50 is still going strong at it (this one is very subtle):

Can a 4 stroke ICE be oil-less? Sure. In fact, they can run without oil for the entire life of the engine.

 

[sysprog]

@jack action how subtle is it when your engine seizes up $-$I don't mean to spoil the jest; however, I would want to help to save an engine $-$ if anyone is seriously in doubt regarding oil level of an internal combustion engine then please add some oil and then go to the oil change shop $\dots$

 

[phinds]

@jack action how subtle is it when your engine seizes up $-$I don't mean to spoil the jest; however, I would want to help to save an engine $-$ if anyone is seriously in doubt regarding oil level of an internal combustion engine then please add some oil and then go to the oil change shop $\dots$

Oh, come on. This is a JOKE thread. Anybody who takes it seriously deserves to have their engine seize up.

 

[Vanadium 50]

The line I am waiting for a chance to use is "with enough voltage, anything can be a conductor". The opportunity hasn't arisen.

 

[Ibix]

The line I am waiting for a chance to use is "with enough voltage, anything can be a conductor". The opportunity hasn't arisen.

Should it arise, though, you'll be unable to resist.

 

[Vanadium 50]

I induce that you have a great capacitance for humor, which I say without reluctance.

 

[PeroK]

I had something ready at work for years that I never had the courage to use (apropos management consultant-led IT projects): I bow to your inferior knowldege.

 

[OCR]

Should it arise, though, you'll be unable to resist

I induce that you have a great capacitance for humor, which I say without reluctance

This current thread has a shockingly high potential. . . therefore, we should not try to

impede it. .

.

 

[phinds]

Howing wolf. We need the howling wolf icon once again.

 

[strangerep]

Oh, come on. This is a JOKE thread. Anybody who takes it seriously deserves to have their engine seize up.

Indeed, especially since the symptoms should already be familiar to them. Hmmm, now where's that constipation emoji? ... Oh well,... these will have to do:

 

[Keith_McClary]

Should it arise, though, you'll be unable to resist.

Do one-liners from this thread qualify?

 

[sysprog]

Oh, come on. This is a JOKE thread. Anybody who takes it seriously deserves to have their engine seize up.

Oh, so now you're the Punisher's and Judge Dredd's brother? In my opinion, only those few people who won't add oil or who hotrod too much deserve to have their engines seize up.

 

[sysprog]

Do one-liners from this thread qualify?

Well, that does introduce recursion; however, if you have an accompanying comment, I don't see why not, so I ask you, why not?

 

[sysprog]

Do one-liners from this thread qualify?

Yes $-$ your just-quoted question one-liner, for example, in my opinion qualifies $\dots$ however, I don't want the thread to be ruined, so I hereby request that the recursiveness be kept to a minimum $\cdots$

 

[sysprog]

From @Mark44: Skipping over things you don't understand will almost certainly come back to bite you in the butt.

 

[sysprog]

Also (as @Borg said) not from PF, but just too good to pass up (this was said to me with a gentlemanly smile from him by an International Master chess player who beat everyone else, including me, at a local tavern (he was the only guy there who could beat me) after he had sacrificed two major pieces on the way to checkmating his opponent):

Well, the important thing is to win.

 

[StevieTNZ]

Another favourite of mine is "why should I pay more than $750 of tax a year - who do you think I am?".

 

[berkeman]

Not sure if these have been posted already, but the fact that they are both from the same thread is significant...

If the electron could speak we would not understand it!

I think you are seeing signs of intelligence that just isn't there. It's like a thermos. How does it know to keep hot things hot and cold things cold? How does it know?

 

[StevieTNZ]

I also did say "Let me ask my question!" at some point. That's a great one-liner.

 

[sysprog]

I like this one from @mathwonk:

Pardon me, I am entranced by a thread that goes on this long, in answer to OP's question of "why is 1 = 1?"
​

Source https://www.physicsforums.com/threa...ircle-need-to-be-1.993549/page-2#post-6398560

 

[StevieTNZ]

Another favourite of mine is by V50: "Don't stick words in my mouth. It is the cheapest form of debate and beneath you and your office.", conversed to a mentor on this PF.

 

[Vanadium 50]

I thought he was trying to make me look like a fool. I can do that on my own! (The secret is plenty of practice)

 

[sysprog]

In my opinion, that's right up there with Mark Twain's "It's easy to stop smoking; I've done it thousands of times."

 

[DrGreg]

Invalid facts are notoriously difficult to explain.

 

[sysprog]

It seems to me that this language is broad enough that a 12-year-old kid with a $50 quad-drone could qualify if it wanders into DoD-restricted airspace.

That's just what They want you to think.

 

[StevieTNZ]

Another favourite of mine is "<name> offered no hard proof for his assertions, and he has a record of making claims that don't withstand scrutiny." - me.

 

[sysprog]

OOP doesn't program the computer, it programs this big fat pillow that's between the programmer and the computer. @phinds (post: 6402007)

 

[StevieTNZ]

"I've been awarded the Nobel Prize for this, and another that. ... By Nobel Prize, I mean nomination." - me

 

[sysprog]

I had an appliance with manuals in French and German. In a particular situation, the German manual explained how to fix it. The French manual said to call the repairman. $-$ @Vanadium 50

 

[Vanadium 50]

"I rather suspect that you are speculating without actually understanding the mathematics of the models. That's a bit like trying to add a second hand to a watch by drawing it on the face with a pen." - @Ibix

Clearly the person in question fancies himself a...wait for it...Sharpie.

 

[epenguin]

@PeroK strikes again!

I don't what else to say except that you just didn't get it.

 

[jasonRF]

"deceiving people is always more lucrative than enlightening them" - @mathwonk

 

[StevieTNZ]

"I conclude that 'lots of love' can be abbreviated to LOL". - me

 

[sysprog]

il sober up before i post again. don't worry I'm not driving I'm on a course this week. $-$ @chrishgv

 

[StevieTNZ]

"What a great day for America!" - @StevieTNZ

 

[PeroK]

"A house divided against itself cannot stand." Abraham Lincoln.

 

[StevieTNZ]

"A house divided against itself cannot stand." Abraham Lincoln.

I didn't know there was a user on PF called Abraham Lincoln.

 

[PeroK]

I didn't know there was a user on PF called Abraham Lincoln.

He's from back in the early days.

 

[Ibix]

He's from back in the early days.

He's Don Lincoln's uncle, or something.

 

[PeterDonis]

Thread closed for moderation.