How can I use psychology to gain power over my bully?

[Monique]

Originally posted by Chemicalsuperfreak
But mainly you should stand up for yourself, bullying is a form of abuse, and you don't have to take it.

Yeah, ofcourse agree very much with this! Just think twice about the way you do it in

Here comes another Monique story hehe

In college I had this professor who used to bully me. Can you believe it?? It is true, I swear it! I don't know WHAT I did wrong with this man.. he was the chemistry lab instructor. I was my high school chemistry teachers' favorite so I was quite shocked by the treatment Lots of testing, fooling, humiliation and even talking down in front of a group of first year student who thought it was quite funny. I wish I hadn't taken all that, but still I say to go easy with your revenge..

 

[Njorl]

Originally posted by Monique

In college I had this professor who used to bully me. Can you believe it?? It is true, I swear it! I don't know WHAT I did wrong with this man.. he was the chemistry lab instructor. I was my high school chemistry teachers' favorite so I was quite shocked by the treatment Lots of testing, fooling, humiliation and even talking down in front of a group of first year student who thought it was quite funny. I wish I hadn't taken all that, but still I say to go easy with your revenge.. [/B]

My high school physics teacher did the same thing to me and another guy in the class. I found out a few months into it that he thought I had a real aptitude for the subject, but I was wasting it. I suppose some teachers think this is a good method. Frankly, just taking me aside and telling me that I was wasting my aptitude would have worked to, and months sooner to boot.

Njorl

 

[Monique]

Well, I hope that was meant in such a way, it was pretty destructive in my opinion..

I rather look back to my high school teacher who often told he expected 100% passing grades from me, and had a gift waiting for the people who would pass their final examination and overall mark (big one) with 90% and that he had 6 people in mind who were capable in doing it (without giving names).. boosting self confidence,

..rather than looking back at the person who made me feel insecure about the way I was performing my experiments..

*edit* that professor used to blatently ignore my greeting when passing me by in a deserted hallway.. part of the method? ;P

So yeah, things like this are pretty arbitrary and I wouldn't pay much attention to the ones who don't show respect, rather show them how stuff is really done!

 

[Andy]

£10 on the bullie kicking his ass!

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by einsteinian77
All I'm saying is that once the bully sees that your a lot more tougher than he thought you were he will probably respect you more.

Humm, if a bully wants to know just how tough you are, they will test it, physically, I hear...Then they will know whether, or not, to respect you, or, they will learn (simply) to leave you alone because you leave them alone. (as Monique said)

 

[Chemicalsuperfreak]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Humm, if a bully wants to know just how tough you are, they will test it, physically, I hear...Then they will know whether, or not, to respect you, or, they will learn (simply) to leave you alone because you leave them alone. (as Monique said)

I disagree. Bullies, like sharks, are passive aggressive. They bully the people who are weak and defenseless. Not responding aggressively to a bully only encourages him.

 

[photon]

Greetings people of Earth. I got an extended due date on my projects, so I can use the net now.

It sounds a bit like some of you think I am trying to get even with the kid. But that really is not the case at all. I'm just trying to show him, and anyone else that sees me as fresh meat, that their tounge flapping really isn't getting them anywhere. I can do this by way of embarassment , complete calm, and by showing him I'm not worth the effort. I am going for a mixture of these three.

 

[mntlfngrs]

Originally posted by Gale17
I like zantra's trench idea though... and when he picks on just stick your hands in your pockets as if somethings there, then look all upset, and like your talking yourself down. Then leave. He'll get scarred... i knew a kid who did stuff like that... always freaked people out.

Personaly I think this is a terrible idea and will only serve to isolate him from these people more. I woould think a bunch of intellectuals like you guys would see the benefits of diplomacy here.

Photon:
Have you thought about making friends with some of their other friends? Or just telling him that you are not intimidated by him and would rather just get along or at least respect each others space?

To me this story sounds like a kid who is intimidated got tall and now thinks he ownz these guys. Don't you realize that what you are doing (or think you are doing) is no better than what they are doing to you. They use what they have at their diaposal (braun) and you use what is at yours (brains). A smarter/wiser person would avoid this little cock fight al together. That is not saying to take a bunch of **** either. Find a way to use social pressure against him. Next time you are eye to eye with him do just like you did and look him right in the eye but instead of giving him even more reason and lowering yourself ti his level, tell him "Hey, this **** isn't worth the trouble we will both get in if we keep going at it like this. Why don't we just respect each others space." or something.

And if all else fails, tazer him in a dark alley and tell him that if he doesn't **** off you will hack his parents computer and upload kiddie pron onto it before turning them into the police.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Chemicalsuperfreak
I disagree. Bullies, like sharks, are passive aggressive. They bully the people who are weak and defenseless. Not responding aggressively to a bully only encourages him.

Humm, like all things in life, not an absolute, some times responding aggresively is exactly what they want for escalating it to a 'right' to proceed with a fight. Acknowledging them, then leaving them alone, is the best working route. (just from experience with people)

 

[mntlfngrs]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Humm, like all things in life, not an absolute, some times responding aggresively is exactly what they want for escalating it to a 'right' to proceed with a fight. Acknowledging them, then leaving them alone, is the best working route. (just from experience with people)

Exactly, you can come across as strong without being overly aggressive. And don't forget, living well is always the best revenge. Someday you will be solving humanities problems and they will be solving drainage problems on the side of the rode with a shovel.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by mntlfngrs
Exactly, you can come across as strong without being overly aggressive. And don't forget, living well is always the best revenge. Someday you will be solving humanities problems and they will be solving drainage problems on the side of the rode with a shovel.

So you will always be in a postion of Vengence to all of the homeless people on the planet, what a philosophy...kooky!

Pay attention to what he says, then, leave and ignore him, that is strong without agression, as stated previously.

(Monique, I suspect, was first to suggest along that line)

 

[mntlfngrs]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
So you will always be in a postion of Vengence to all of the homeless people on the planet, what a philosophy...kooky!

Revenge implies that they did something to you in the first place. If you have never heard that before or know what it means then I'd like to know where you have been.

 

[Andy]

Lets just face the inevitable, he is going to kick your ass, and nothing that's said here is going to make his beating less painful, if i where you i would start working out more and take up some form of martial arts, that would make him think twice. only if your good that is.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by mntlfngrs
Revenge implies that they did something to you in the first place. If you have never heard that before or know what it means then I'd like to know where you have been.

Ahem your the one using the expression!

 

[HAVOC451]

Originally posted by photon
What are some more things I could use to get into this guys head?

Befriend him! Help him get a "A" in math. He'll be so totally blown away by this he won't know what to think. Years from now he may even name a son after you.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by HAVOC451
Befriend him! Help him get a "A" in math. He'll be so totally blown away by this he won't know what to think. Years from now he may even name a son after you.

Good advice, (IMO) and a (sorta) challenge to your (social) intellect, too!

 

[photon]

Helping him get good grades is good idea if he'll listen. But if he doesnt... I think he's just going through a phase right now where he wants to pick a fight with anyone that doesn't act a certain way.

Years from now he may even name a son after you.

My real name is Corey, but people at school call be Albert because I'm slightly absent minded and a physics nut.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

It's the "Be-friending" part that is slightly harder, perhaps? try finding a way to help him see his own intelligence. That is probably a "barrier breaker" as that (a barrier) would be one of the items (Social-ergo-invisible) t'wixt the two of you.

Please, be careful... (Might be easier to play with Bears)