How Did You First Say I Love You?

[Evo]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
It is my impression that a large percentage of women are constantly engaged in creating exponentially increasing degrees of subtlety concerning all possible variants of the terminology of love and romance among themselves without realizing that they've failed to include men in the process, and are dismayed when men can't follow the distinctions.

Sometimes women will kindly translate. At others all they are is dissapointed that you don't already get it.

But men are exactly the same! They have hidden agendas and requirements and try to play silly mind games, just like their female counterparts.

I'm extremely independant and I bolt the second a guy starts getting too emotionally needy. I expect a guy to have his own life and not need to be "joined at the hip".

I cannot tell you how many guys I've dated that can't understand that if I have decided to be in a relationship with them, that I "trust" them. I don't need to spend every minute with them or need to know where they are and who they are with every moment. I expect the same in return.

Unfortunately, these poor guys have been so conditioned by emotionally needy ex girlfriends that they mistake my "trust" and the fact that I "do" have a life of my own as my not caring about them. I don't get upset if they forget to call or have to work & have to break a date, get wrapped up in something interesting and be late for a dinner, etc... Things happen.

I've actually found out that some guys I dated deliberately would break a date on short notice or tell me his ex-girlfriend is calling him, etc... just to see "if I care" about them. I "flunked" because I was understanding...go figure. I thought only psycho women played these games.

So zooby, I feel your pain and confusion.

WHERE ARE THE NORMAL MEN?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Moni ...after some formal conversation when she knew that I'm from different religion she just said...she'll never ever be interested on me :( is this my fault?

This is too bad, Moni. Religious prohibitions against involvement with people of other religions are very tough to overcome.

And what about models? They lead a very Hi-Fi life, and we the simple ones are outside there scope...but we often attracted by them...then what should we do? try anyting or just watch?

Pure fantasy. It'll never happen.

And do you believe in Online Love? Hmm...but honestly I don't believe in Online Loves :S

Online love happens, for real. People have gotten married who first met on the web. It is much more realistic than your other two options.

 

[Evo]

Originally posted by Moni
Few days ago, I was just walking in the park, suddenly saw a very beautiful girl :) Pic? Here it is collected from her School Mag.

I was interested about her and telephoned her...after some formal conversation when she knew that I'm from different religion she just said...she'll never ever be interested on me :( is this my fault?

How sad! Unfortunately religious bias, social status, money, are all things that can come between two people.

And what about models? They lead a very Hi-Fi life, and we the simple ones are outside there scope...but we often attracted by them...then what should we do? try anyting or just watch?

Models are no different from anyone else, well some "think" they are. If it is someone that you actually meet and there is a "spark" there, go for it. I've dated male models, all very nice, down to earth, funny, intelligent. It just happened that they were "discovered" and the money was just too good to turn down.

If the "model" is someone in a magazine, on tv, uhm, aside from maybe having an innocent "crush", I would say do nothing, you will likely only waste your time.

And do you believe in Online Love? Hmm...it seems Monique is interested ;)...but honestly I don't believe in Online Loves :S

Yes, I do believe in online love, I know people that met their "perfect" match online. I personally have made wonderful friends online, some I have met, some I still haven't. I met my best friend online.

 

[firefly]

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction."
--Antoine de Saint Exupéry.

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
--Antoine de Saint Exupéry, from The Little Prince.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Evo
But men are exactly the same! They have hidden agendas and requirements and try to play silly mind games, just like their female counterparts.

The thing is, I don't think women do this as a head game at all, nor is it a hidden agenda. It's an authentic failure to realize how far they go with these definitions of "love", being "in love", and so forth without men being included in the process.

I'm extremely independant and I bolt the second a guy starts getting too emotionally needy. I expect a guy to have his own life and not need to be "joined at the hip".

Ah, yes. The "needy" vs "independent" polarity. A book unto itself.

I thought only psycho women played these games.

It is a pretty prevalent sort of thing from my experience. You have given good advise to guys here, Evo, but a lot of people spread the information that the opposite sex must be handled with "tactics" (i.e. tricks). People mostly spread this kind of bad info to others of their own sex. Too few seek advise from trustworthy members of the opposite sex.

WHERE ARE THE NORMAL MEN?

Normal men are all around you. What you're looking for is a sane man.

 

[jimmy p]

rules?? RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN..besides this year is a leap year so its the opposite way round, women have to do the asking.

 

[Evo]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Normal men are all around you.

You obviously have never been here. One of the main attractions here is an enormous cow sitting on top of a fairly high tower near downtown that glows green at night.

What you're looking for is a sane man. [/B]

YES! WHERE ARE THE SANE MEN? And do they like huge green glowing cows in the sky?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by firefly
"Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction."
--Antoine de Saint Exupéry.

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
--Antoine de Saint Exupéry, from The Little Prince.

Oh, firefly, you romantic bioluminescent thing! I have absolutely no idea what these two quotes mean. Do you know Shakespeare's comparison of lunatics, lovers, and poets to each other in A Midsummer Night's Dream?

 

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by Evo
You obviously have never been here. One of the main attractions here is an enormous cow sitting on top of a fairly high tower near downtown that glows green at night.

YES! WHERE ARE THE SANE MEN? And do they like huge green glowing cows in the sky?

green glowing cows...sane...?? is there a doctor in the house??

 

[chroot]

Evo, I think maybe you should move. Far, far away. From there, I mean.

- Warren

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Njorl
Men are like mice who prefer electric shocks to food pellets. Njorl

What...OUCH...huh...OOOH THAT SMARTS...what're you saying...OOOHMYGOD...what's a food pellet...YIKES...

 

[Evo]

Originally posted by Njorl
My favorite response from women to my still as yet undetermined many transgressions is, "Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."

Doesn't that make you crazy? My ex used to say that.

I have always managed to supress the urge to say, "I'm sure if I DID know, you'd never shut up about it!"

Good comeback! unfortunately true.

I am ever so glad to have met my wife (um ... she was not my wife at the time, but you know what I mean.) I had become convinced that almost all women were crazy. My wife largely agreed with me, but keenly pointed out that most men will have nothing to do with the women who are not crazy. Men are like mice who prefer electric shocks to food pellets. Then again, what the hell is in those food pellets? My wife, I decided, is not crazy. She did learn how to fake it though, just to get by.

Njorl [/B]

Why IS it that men LIKE the crazy women? I have noticed this quite often.

Sounds like your wife is pretty sharp and you are a lucky man.
(edit to add that she's pretty lucky too!)

 

[jimmy p]

men like crazy women cos non-crazy women are boring. Unfortunately its the same with women n blokes.

Hmm crazy women are cool because...they always have something odd to say, they make the men look normal and other things that guys can elaborate on, HOW SHOULD I KNOW, IM ONLY 18!

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by chroot
Vier Wörter! Aber kann Ich bereits spreche sehr gut Deutsch...

Darf Ich, Bitte?

Es soll sein:

Ich kann, aber, schon sehr guter Deutsch sprechen.

Oder machts Du spass?

-Zoobyschuh

 

[chroot]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Ich kann, aber, schon sehr guter Deutsch sprechen.

- Warren

 

[The_Professional]

It's sad that 50 percent of the women file divorce. Why? because the man did things to lower her interest, he got too comfortable, etc.., and another reason is some women have bad attitudes as well.

 

[Evo]

Originally posted by The_Professional
It's sad that 50 percent of the women file divorce. Why? because the man did things to lower her interest, he got too comfortable, etc.., and another reason is some women have bad attitudes as well.

All that is true, sad to say. But sometimes it's a very emotionally abusive relationship and the woman has to get out of it to save herself and her children.

 

[hypnagogue]

Ist nein Stoken Bloken!

 

[Tsu]

I know 'fractured' German!...

Ich mus einen GROSSEN peepee gemacht!

 

[chroot]

Are you making or doing that enormous pee-pee? I'm confused. Wanna help me out here, Ivan?

- Warren

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by chroot
Are you making or doing that enormous pee-pee? I'm confused. Wanna help me out here, Ivan?

- Warren

machen?

(Well, I SAID in was 'fractured' German. I learned it correctly -I think- many years ago, and of course, over time and with frequent episodes of CRS, it has evolved/degraded to that! I guess I think it just *sounds* hysterical and is easy enough for almost anyone who doesn't know German to comprehend... It's OK...Call me weird... )

 

[chroot]

Well, uh, what you (sort of) said was:

"I must do a giant pee-pee!"

Is there anything else you'd like to tell us?

- Warren

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by chroot
Well, uh, what you (sort of) said was:

"I must do a giant pee-pee!"

Is there anything else you'd like to tell us?

- Warren

No. Just that.

Catch you later!

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
(SNIP)[/color] The thing is, I don't think women do this as a head game at all, nor is it a hidden agenda. It's an authentic failure to realize how far they go with these definitions of "love", being "in love", and so forth without men being included in the process. (SNoP)[/color]

There actually is a difference 'tween "feeling love", being "loving". and being "IN love" huge difference, just that the only way, you too, will know the hormonal cascadence that arises for the one to three year period, is to end up there...good "Luck" (whatever that means)...and Lord knows your going to be in trouble if she/he doesn't feel the same way...it is a 'dangerous/delightful' portal to obsession or really powerful love...not for the faint of heart, not easy to 'obtain' as it is an idiosyncratic reaction, you might just go through your whole life not exeriancing it (lucky? you) and it is IMO way harder on a man, then on the woman as it is intensely emotive...

 

[Moni]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
This is too bad, Moni. Religious prohibitions against involvement with people of other religions are very tough to overcome. Pure fantasy. It'll never happen.

Online love happens, for real. People have gotten married who first met on the web. It is much more realistic than your other two options.

Hmm...I don't know this Religious things happen in US or not but it happens bitterly in this South Asia [b(]

Hmm...in western countries models fly...but not here

Online? Hmm...but without meeting face to face is that really possible?

 

[Moni]

Originally posted by Evo
How sad! Unfortunately religious bias, social status, money, are all things that can come between two people.

Models are no different from anyone else, well some "think" they are. If it is someone that you actually meet and there is a "spark" there, go for it. I've dated male models, all very nice, down to earth, funny, intelligent. It just happened that they were "discovered" and the money was just too good to turn down.

If the "model" is someone in a magazine, on tv, uhm, aside from maybe having an innocent "crush", I would say do nothing, you will likely only waste your time.

Yes, I do believe in online love, I know people that met their "perfect" match online. I personally have made wonderful friends online, some I have met, some I still haven't. I met my best friend online.

Thanks again Evo for nice reply :)

"religious bias, social status, money, are all things that can come between two people"

Still we don't think people as PEOPLE
May be this is not so big problem there but in South Asia it's a huge problem...even while making just FRIENDSHIP relations...girls become very cautious and asks about our Religion, bank balance etc. etc.

About models...as far as I've seen they are very smart, cute and do behave well...but what my experience they just use it for there career, once I met one, she said, "Oh! You are ... so so, I've never met like you before" and after few days my friend said she also told him the same speeches

So, how acutally we do believe? It's very difficult to know what's going on girls minds

Online friends? How do you make them? Aren't we friends here in this PF?

 

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by Moni
It's very difficult to know what's going on girls minds

You have just voiced the opinion of every man in the world. I congratulate you Moni.

 

[Evo]

Originally posted by Moni
Thanks again Evo for nice reply :)

"religious bias, social status, money, are all things that can come between two people"

Still we don't think people as PEOPLE
May be this is not so big problem there but in South Asia it's a huge problem...even while making just FRIENDSHIP relations...girls become very cautious and asks about our Religion, bank balance etc. etc.

Religion is much more of a problem where you are. It is a shame that there is not as much tolerance for different beliefs there. Bank balance? Well, here those types of women are every where.

About models...as far as I've seen they are very smart, cute and do behave well...but what my experience they just use it for there career, once I met one, she said, "Oh! You are ... so so, I've never met like you before" and after few days my friend said she also told him the same speeches

Stay away from them, they're usually bad news.

So, how acutally we do believe? It's very difficult to know what's going on girls minds

Yes! That is a problem.

Online friends? How do you make them? Aren't we friends here in this PF? [/B]

Yes, we ARE friends here! After time if you get to know someone online very well, you may decide to actually meet them in real life. I've done this many times and I have met some truly incredible people. My best friend lives in another country and we take turns flying back and forth on vacations to see each other. We met videoconferencing online 6 years ago.

Just take things slowly. Let a girl know that you like her by smiling at her and see what she does. Be polite and friendly. Don't come on too strong.

If she is willing to talk, ask her questions about herself, what her hobbies are, what movies, what music, etc... she likes, and comment on the ones that you also like, and add any thing you like that from what she's said you think she may also enjoy, that will get a conversation going.

Be a good listener. Don't make fun of her...a BIG mistake during the first few dates. Some guys get nervous and do this and wonder why she won't talk to him any more.

On a first date, a single flower is a nice gesture, especially if you remembered it was her favorite from a previous conversation. It shows her you really listened.

Here's an example of right things to do after you start dating: My 16 year daughter old has just started dating a new guy. He's in college in California this year. For christmas he sent her a package with a number of little items that each have a special meaning to her. She is always cold, so he sent her his college sweatshirt, his wool scarf, his down comforter, and packets of her favorite hot cocoa & teas and then also created a CD with songs that all tied into things they had shared or like about each other that ended up telling a story about them. He didn't go out and spend any money but those gifts meant more to her than any expensive gift bought at a store.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Evo
(SNIP)[/color] Here's an example of right things to do after you start dating: My 16 year daughter old has just started dating a new guy. He's in college in California this year. For christmas he sent her a package with a number of little items that each have a special meaning to her. She is always cold, so he sent her his college sweatshirt, his wool scarf, his down comforter, and packets of her favorite hot cocoa & teas and then also created a CD with songs that all tied into things they had shared or like about each other that ended up telling a story about them. He didn't go out and spend any money but those gifts meant more to her than any expensive gift bought at a store. (SNoP)[/color]

And just out of curiosity, what did she send him in return??...ya know...equality...??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Moni
Hmm...I don't know this Religious things happen in US or not but it happens bitterly in this South Asia [b(]

It certainly doesn't happen here as much as it used to, but my own parents are an example of what used to happen alot: my mother wouldn't marry my father unless he converted to her religion.

Online? Hmm...but without meeting face to face is that really possible?

Eventually, of course, you would arrange to meet in person. This has, in fact, lead to marriages.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
(SNIP)[/color] Eventually, of course, you would arrange to meet in person. This has, in fact, lead to marriages. (SNoP)[/color]

Yup and the one I knew led further, all the way to divorce...

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin (Killjoy) Parsons
Yup and the one I knew led further, all the way to divorce...

So that's how you and Mrs. Robin Parsons met and split! I knew there had to be a story there.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
So that's how you and Mrs. Robin Parsons met and split! I knew there had to be a story there.

Ooooops, you forgot something Zoob, MRP = Never been married!...soooooo (A needle pulling thread!)

 

[Evo]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
And just out of curiosity, what did she send him in return??...ya know...equality...??

She did make him a cd in return, but I have no clue what else she gave him.

Funny how much more "thought" and how much more you are willing to do when you're in the initial "love chemical soup" phase of a relationship.

As one of my co-workers so eloquently put it explaining how he landed such a great girl "I had to be the kind of guy she wanted and do whatever I needed to get her to marry me, but now that we're married, I don't have to impress her anymore". So, basically, he pretended to be someone else. And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high? Women do the same thing.

 

[Monique]

As someone once wisely put it:

Don't flatter yourself that friendship authorizes you to say disagreeable things to your intimates. The nearer you come into relation with a person, the more necessary do tact and courtesy become.

-Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

"Familiarity breeds contempt" now that y'all knows that, think it will stop it from occurring?

 

[Monique]

You can take a lesson from it and learn to have your own hobbies?

 

[The_Professional]

Is there a beauty contest here today?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by The_Professional
Is there a beauty contest here today?

Tomorrow, isn't it?

 

[Evo]

Whoa, Monique ROCKS! Her paper is out!

Congrats Monique!

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Evo
Whoa, Monique ROCKS! Her paper is out!

Congrats Monique!

AWESOME, Niek! I'm so PROUD to know you!

 

[Monique]

thanks girls, couldn't have done it without the et al's :)

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Monique
thanks girls, couldn't have done it without the et al's :)

Yeah, but they're just the mayo on the sandwich. YOU'RE the big CHEESE! And if the cheese is good enough, you don't even really NEED the mayo...

 

[chroot]

Originally posted by Tsunami
Yeah, but they're just the mayo on the sandwich. YOU'RE the big CHEESE! And if the cheese is good enough, you don't even really NEED the mayo...

If ask me, mayo is gross anyway!

- Warren

 

[Njorl]

You're studying cheese at the Mayo clinic?

Njorl

 

[jimmy p]

mayo rocks...in the right place of course...but u know what is ultimate?? Bacon.

OK OK I ADMIT IT... I LOVE BACON! *drools*

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by chroot
If ask me, mayo is gross anyway!

- Warren

Only if it's on cheese that's 'good enough' to stand alone. Otherwise, things like artichokes, broccoli, asparagus...they are all considered to be very good vehicles and reasons to eat LOTS of mayo!

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Njorl
You're studying cheese at the Mayo clinic?

Njorl

WOW! Do they have a course in CHEESES there now? COOL! I'm all over it...

 

[Tsu]

Originally posted by jimmy p
mayo rocks...in the right place of course...but u know what is ultimate?? Bacon.

OK OK I ADMIT IT... I LOVE BACON! *drools*

YUM! Bacon and mayo on toast... YUM! You ARE my nephew, sweet Chopnik.

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

P.S. Congratulations Monique[/color] (not that this is the place to put that/this, but) on your publication, neat stuff et al's and all...if I have a chance, perhaps I'll read it through...