How do you do it! all this adultness is poo-poo

  • #26
Moonbear
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Had any one of those kids been me, my mother would have grabbed me and smacked me until I stopped running around. We need to bring back hitting your kids in this country.
I don't actually think that's necessary (doesn't mean we shouldn't be allowed to threaten kids though :devil:). The reason is that if you raise them right from infancy, you just don't wind up in a situation like that where you feel something more drastic needs to be done to put a stop to it. From the time I was old enough to sit in a chair, it was expected that we'd sit quietly at the table for meals, use our utensils, eat what was put in front of us, and did not get up until we were excused from the table. There was simply no other option and we never considered doing things any other way. I remember the first time I was out to dinner with my cousins though...they're about 5 years older than I am (twins), so I was a kid and they were probably early teens at the time...I was SHOCKED when they started throwing food at each other...in a restaurant!! My aunt and uncle did nothing to stop it, it was my parents who intervened and told them to knock it off. On the way home, I asked my parents about it, and their answer is that my aunt and uncle never took my cousins out to restaurants with them, so never taught them how to act properly in a restaurant (it's true, my aunt and uncle would leave my cousins with babysitters whenever they went out to dinner or even on vacations...there were no family vacations in their family...very strange). I was never fully satisfied with the answer, because it's not like my sister and I would have gotten away with throwing food at home either, and that I knew better as a child than they did as teens didn't really speak well for their manners or upbringing (I get the impression they were spoiled as the babies, because my older cousins...their brothers...also have at times seemed rather appalled at their sisters' behavior, even as adults...they were never allowed to get away with stuff like that either it seems).
 
  • #27
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I was raised the same way as you were. But had I tried and done what these kids do, I would have been hit. Not asked to stop.
 
  • #28
Moonbear
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I was raised the same way as you were. But had I tried and done what these kids do, I would have been hit. Not asked to stop.
Yep, I believed that too. :biggrin: Only after I was all grown up did my mom admit she didn't believe in hitting kids and never would have...didn't stop her from convincing me otherwise though! :bugeye:
 
  • #29
turbo
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I have grown nieces and nephews with kids of their own, and they don't need to be hit. They are decent kids who love us, and they ask us what is permitted and what is not if they are unsure (like "is it OK to climb the big apple tree?"). My nieces' and nephews' kids are sweeties, as their parents were when we invited them to share weekends with us and our ferrets.
 
  • #30
I think giving your kids limited free will is a good thing. I've noticed people who are raised in a strict upbringing can't think for themselves.
 
  • #31
Garth
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When I was sixteen, I started pretending I was an adult. And I've been pretending ever since. - Mark Twain

I think it was Twain. I haven't been able to find this quote on the web. If you can find it for me, I would appreciate it. My version is a paraphrase, I don't remember the original.
Then there is always the quote: "When I was ten, I thought my parents knew everything. When I became twenty, I was convinced they knew nothing. Then, at thirty, I realized I was right when I was ten." Mark Twain

Garth
 
  • #32
Moonbear
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I think giving your kids limited free will is a good thing. I've noticed people who are raised in a strict upbringing can't think for themselves.
There's a big difference between making every decision for your kids so they never learn to think for themselves, and setting rules where they learn there are bad consequences for bad decisions...just as there's a big difference between both of those and letting your kid do anything they want.

Some decisions can be up for discussion, and of course what those decisions are depends on the age of the kid. When I was a young child, I was not given a choice about eating vegetables with my dinner, for example, but I was given choices like, "Do you want broccoli or green beans?" When we went to restaurants, I was shown the kids' menu and could choose whatever I wanted off it, but if I acted up inappropriately, I would quickly find out that the consequence was being unceremoniously carried out under one arm.
 

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