How to pull myself together when facing disease, burnout, depression and more?

[Andraz Cepic]

Sorry for being annoying, but I am a student of physics for a month now. I started really well by setting up super good work habbits but all was ruined in a day when I was arguing with my parents about my treatment for my desiese. Since then everything has been hell, I fell behind bad, I am fighting depression big time, I am escaping from everything. I feel like everything is over, I feel like my student life is ruined and as physics is everything to me, my life is ruined. My peers are not falling behind and they will be far better than me, they will succeed I will loose, I cannot cath back up, since I am about 20 pages behind in math, 10 pages behind in physics and almost everything at chemistry. I am constantly struggling to pull myself together for two weeks now but its getting worse, I know my problems and I know pretty much everything there is to know about self discipline and habbits, but desiese and depression are killing me. I need help but I can't find it :(

 

[Drakkith]

all was ruined in a day when I was arguing with my parents about my treatment for my desiese.

Do you mean a disease? A disorder? A disability?

 

[Andraz Cepic]

Do you mean a disease? A disorder? A disability?

Yes I do mean that, sorry. I'm quite desperate currently, so I tend to forget how some things are written.

 

[fresh_42]

Depression can and should(!) be treated by medication to at least the extend, that "it get's you to function". It is hard to tell what you should do, as most of possible advises you already know by yourself. In this article
http://www.ams.org/publications/journals/notices/201707/rnoti-p718.pdf
are some helpful recommendations such as "don't compare yourself with others". Falling behind only gets a problem, if it exceeds the amount you've told. This can be dealt with, although I'd probably drop chemistry for this semester. You cannot fight your parents and they might not understand what depression really means. IMO the most dangerous and seductive thread is to search for substitutions and somehow flee the problems. Ideally the point of escape would be your math and physics books. They can be a wonderful land far away from Kansas and I don't want to know how many students studied them for exact this reason.

 

[Drakkith]

Yes I do mean that, sorry. I'm quite desperate currently, so I tend to forget how some things are written.

May I ask what you have? If you don't want to say, then don't worry about it. Either way, I'd say your first priority is to make sure you have it under control (if that's possible). If you don't, then I highly recommend seeing the appropriate medical professional if you can.

As for how to avoid depression, I know of no single method that works for everyone. If your depression is indeed as bad as you've said, then I'd recommend seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist. They are the ones most qualified (and likely) to be able to help you.

In the meantime, try to avoid overloading yourself with classes, even if it takes you a bit longer than the average person to get through college. And try not to compare yourself to others. They aren't in the same circumstances as you, so comparing yourself to them is pointless. In the end the only thing that matters is what you do, not what your peers did or how easy it was for them.

 

[Andraz Cepic]

I have Multiple Sclerosis, it is both really bad and not so bad. I was never really scared of the disease, however it is now a gigantic part of my life messing everything up. My parents are rather comcerned and they have spent hours upon hours of searching for alternative treatements as they don't trust medicine as much; you can imagine me, striving to be a scientist, arguing with them forever and ever about it, that's where the problem lies. I've accepted 1 alternative treatement just to have peace honestly under the condition it is not dangerous of course.

Regarding the depression; I was fighting depression my whole high school, since I had no one in class who would be extremely curious or anything, I had no one to truly talk with and even though I was quite social, I was often seen as a weirdo and autist by my peers, that's why I am now overly obsessed over what my peers think. I also had a productive way of escaping, I was programming all the time, developing games, it was super fun because of algorithms and math, but it also felt useless.

I love physics and math above everything else, I have great friends and all but no one understands just how important physics is to me, they all say that I work too much and that I should just chill and enjoy life. I have also never met a girl that I could talk with normally about anything, ypu see I love music, literature and philosophy as well, all people these days can talk about is social media, boring parties and the "fun" stuff they did. I love my friends, but you can see that no one really understands.

Lastly, I love your suggestion to get lost in the books, I do that when I can, however my brain is currently weak in terms of willpower, so I tend to get distracted very quickly, computer and phone are much easier alternatives to reach for, but I am doing everything I can to get rid of the distractions. I cannot drop classes here, It's not like in US, also I fell behind because of the stress and escapism and now I am desperate to catch up, seeing other students working hard and being good st it; it makes me even more depressed.

 

[Andraz Cepic]

I am seeing a psychologist in a week or so, as I thought I would need one, but yesterday I was so terribly depressed and such that I needed some support.

 

[fresh_42]

MS is a slow process and you can live with it for many years. Maybe you can find out what causes severe episodes and try to avoid them. And in case your psychiatrist doesn't want to or isn't allowed to prescribe medication, consult a neurologist. Both should be treated seriously.

Considering the books, one way to get attracted to them is the why question. We all ask permanently why's - actively or passively. Find the right questions which bother you. E.g. if I start watching youtube videos, usually because I'm interested in a certain song, it happens that I jump from song to song and listen to music for hours instead of minutes. I can achieve similar, if I try to figure out a mathematical problem. It often leads from one theorem to the next. The trick is not to view it as a burdon: "I have to read at least ten pages!", but to look at it from theorem to theorem: "I don't believe why this should be true. Convince me!" Write and draw a lot, take your book outside and enjoy the autumn colors of nature. Something like this.

 

[Drakkith]

Lastly, I love your suggestion to get lost in the books, I do that when I can, however my brain is currently weak in terms of willpower, so I tend to get distracted very quickly, computer and phone are much easier alternatives to reach for, but I am doing everything I can to get rid of the distractions.

I understand that. I've had to resort to leaving my laptop inside my backpack in my truck in order to keep from getting on it at night and staying up until the crack of dawn.

I cannot drop classes here, It's not like in US, also I fell behind because of the stress and escapism and now I am desperate to catch up, seeing other students working hard and being good st it; it makes me even more depressed.

Well, if it's any consolation, just know that you're not alone in your troubles. I think I've failed or dropped a good 1/4 of my classes here at my university so far. And this semester looks like it's going to continue that streak.

 

[Andraz Cepic]

Thanks y'all! I'm truly happy you were so kind and gave me some solid advice! I will keep the book part in mind and will start with it tomorrow morning :). I feel WAY better now and I know I can do it with strong persistence. Have a good day and again thank you so much for support!

 

[fresh_42]

You're welcome! And this includes eventual questions: PF is a great place to get hints and help if you got stuck at some points.

 

[Krunchyman]

I have the same problem. I start off each semester really strong and with a lot of enthusiasm, but as stress builds up I become more and more depressed until I burn out. I heard mindfulness meditation can help though.

 

[fresh_42]

I think the OP has got some good advice, especially to consult professional medical doctors, as both of his primary problems need careful watch and treatment and is nothing to take easy. A counsel we cannot accomplish and which must not be trivialized or whitewashed. There are always tips and tricks to improve on the technical side, many have been mentioned, but at last this depends on individual properties and everyone has to find out on their own which work best.

Thread closed.