Overthinking a Smile: My Crush on a Cute Girl at a Holiday Course

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A participant expresses regret over not asking a girl out during a holiday course, where she frequently smiled at him. He grapples with feelings of disappointment and confusion about his attraction, questioning whether her smiles were genuine or simply polite. Despite contemplating ways to see her again, he worries about appearing stalkerish. The discussion highlights common teenage experiences with infatuation, the emotional turmoil of missed opportunities, and the natural inclination to overthink interactions. Contributors advise against dwelling on the past, suggesting that if he encounters her again, he should introduce himself without referencing their previous interactions. The conversation also touches on the challenges of social dynamics in school settings and the importance of seizing opportunities when they arise.
  • #31
LightbulbSun said:
I'm just joking around. I need some comedy nowadays. :smile:

Ok good, I wasn't sure where it was going.
 
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  • #32
JasonRox said:
Don't you think when you have that tinkle of butterflies is a good experience? Sure you didn't ask the girl out, but often when there's too much "tinkle" no one ends up asking the girl.


So there should be a "tinkle-librium" between the two parties? :biggrin:
 
  • #33
JasonRox said:
Ok good, I wasn't sure where it was going.

Just curious about this, but have you ever flirted with a girl in front of their boyfriend, but the boyfriend got into a physical altercation with you?
 
  • #34
LightbulbSun said:
Just curious about this, but have you ever flirted with a girl in front of their boyfriend, but the boyfriend got into a physical altercation with you?

I never had an issue with that. Guys are all talk when they talk about kicking some guys ass.

Or it could be because I look fit.
 
  • #35
JasonRox said:
I never had an issue with that. Guys are all talk when they talk about kicking some guys ass.

Or it could be because I look fit.

Would you say you're "ripped?"
 
  • #36
just go up to her and smile a goofy smile that implies exactly what a guy's goofy smile to a girl should and say "hi I'm gib z". she'll get the idea. if she at least smiles back you're in and you can start flirting, teasing, etc.
 
  • #37
ice109 said:
just go up to her and smile a goofy smile that implies exactly what a guy's goofy smile to a girl should and say "hi I'm gib z". she'll get the idea. if she at least smiles back you're in and you can start flirting, teasing, etc.

And he should carry a couple of condoms on him too. Always practice safe sex.
 
  • #38
JasonRox said:
I never had an issue with that. Guys are all talk when they talk about kicking some guys ass.

Or it could be because I look fit.

Are you kidding me? Being 165 lbs allows you to hit on a guys girlfriend right in front of him? That's hysterical.
 
  • #39
Beeza said:
Are you kidding me? Being 165 lbs allows you to hit on a guys girlfriend right in front of him? That's hysterical.

Yeah man. I can't think of any other reasons.

I don't look 165 though. Also, when you look fit and others know they aren't fit, then they get nervous. I'm not saying it's because I look fit or not. I may not even look fit but everyone always asks me about working out. I look better than the average guy does physically that's for sure.

Yes, some of the girls I talked to have said that I initimidate their boyfriends. They usually ask the girl if anything is going on between us, which I think is hilarious.

I have crossed the line before. Like the one time a couple (I knew the girl) was sitting on a bench and I just went over and put my arm around her. I know the guy hates me for sure. They ended breaking up and he probably think it's my fault. I have no idea.

Another time, I was at a bar. I wanted to dance with this girl so I walked over and asked her to dance. Then she was like, my boyfriend is right here and points next to herself. (Keep in mind she never said no. :wink: I'm sure she wanted to dance.) So, I slowly and gently pushed (physically) her boyfriend like 3-4 feet away and said "Voila, boyfriend is gone, let's go dance."
 
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  • #40
JasonRox said:
Yeah man. I can't think of any other reasons.

I don't look 165 though. Also, when you look fit and others know they aren't fit, then they get nervous. I'm not saying it's because I look fit or not. I may not even look fit but everyone always asks me about working out. I look better than the average guy does physically that's for sure.

Yes, some of the girls I talked to have said that I initimidate their boyfriends. They usually ask the girl if anything is going on between us, which I think is hilarious.

I have crossed the line before. Like the one time a couple (I knew the girl) was sitting on a bench and I just went over and put my arm around her. I know the guy hates me for sure. They ended breaking up and he probably think it's my fault. I have no idea.

Another time, I was at a bar. I wanted to dance with this girl so I walked over and asked her to dance. Then she was like, my boyfriend is right here and points next to herself. (Keep in mind she never said no. :wink: I'm sure she wanted to dance.) So, I slowly and gently pushed (physically) her boyfriend like 3-4 feet away and said "Voila, boyfriend is gone, let's go dance."

I mean that's all well in good man, but with big guys? I mean I'm not a small person by any means, but I still wouldn't attempt to let's say hit on my workout buddy's wife who is very good looking, but her husband is also a 270lb monster. He only has 35lbs on me, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to get myself into trouble with him.

Your a brave soul.
 
  • #41
Beeza said:
I mean that's all well in good man, but with big guys? I mean I'm not a small person by any means, but I still wouldn't attempt to let's say hit on my workout buddy's wife who is very good looking, but her husband is also a 270lb monster. He only has 35lbs on me, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to get myself into trouble with him.

Your a brave soul.

Most big guys aren't even that violent to begin with. Plus, I'm saying I'm sleeping with the girls. Sure I probably can with some, but the idea is to talk to all girls because you end finding ones that you like more easily. Lots of times they have boyfriends. Just show your qualities and the girl will most likely ditch the guy.

My buddy was having fun (:wink:) with a girl who had a big boyfriend for about a year. He never found out. Lots of guys are dumb and go into denial too.

Seriously, I wouldn't sweat it.
 
  • #42
I'd be careful of doing that in the ghetto JasonRox. Some of them would seriously pull out a gun on you and kill you over something like that.

I'm going to have to carry a taser around from now on in case you come along so I'll be like "you want to dance? Then dance!" And tase you. :smile: I'm just kidding. I just had the picture in my head.
 
  • #43
I wouldn't have to worry about that because I would never go to the ghetto to meet girls!
 
  • #44
JasonRox said:
I wouldn't have to worry about that because I would never go to the ghetto to meet girls!

Phew! That's good.

So how do you do it? If I was observing you, would you just be randomly walking up to a couple, shove the guy over a few feet and just wrap your arm around the girl? Most girls I know would be kind of freaked out by it, but then again, maybe you know who's loyally weak and prey on them. :wink:
 
  • #45
LightbulbSun said:
Phew! That's good.

So how do you do it? If I was observing you, would you just be randomly walking up to a couple, shove the guy over a few feet and just wrap your arm around the girl? Most girls I know would be kind of freaked out by it, but then again, maybe you know who's loyally weak and prey on them. :wink:

Oh no, I don't do it like that. If I know the people, sure. I do talk to random people but jumping in and putting your around someone is never appropriate. It might be after 5 minutes of talking but not instantly.

I just honestly be myself all the time and focus on having good times.
 
  • #46
JasonRox said:
I wanted to dance with this girl so I walked over and asked her to dance. Then she was like, my boyfriend is right here and points next to herself. (Keep in mind she never said no. :wink: I'm sure she wanted to dance.) So, I slowly and gently pushed (physically) her boyfriend like 3-4 feet away and said "Voila, boyfriend is gone, let's go dance."
That's disgusting. I don't care if she liked it, or her boyfriend was a wuss, but I like playing fair. Don't hit on girls that have boyfriends and don't hit on boys that have girlfriends. Same with husbands and wives. This has to be written in the book of man law somewhere.
 
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  • #47
Mk said:
That's disgusting. I don't care if she liked it, or her boyfriend was a wuss, but I like playing fair. Don't hit on girls that have boyfriends and don't hit on boys that have girlfriends. Same with husbands and wives. This has to be written in the book of man law somewhere.

So, you're insecure about the relationship? Yourself? Sorry, but I don't tolerate insecurity much. It's a deconstructive emotion.

Also, flirting and friendly chats isn't hitting on to pick up.
 
  • #48
Mk said:
That's disgusting. I don't care if she liked it, or her boyfriend was a wuss, but I like playing fair. Don't hit on girls that have boyfriends and don't hit on boys that have girlfriends. Same with husbands and wives. This has to be written in the book of man law somewhere.

No, it doesn't.

It's up to the girl/guy that has a relationship to say "No, thanks, I have a boy/girlfriend."

It's not up to you to figure out whether they are single or not before hitting on them.
 
  • #49
Poop-Loops said:
It's not up to you to figure out whether they are single or not before hitting on them.

The dude said he knew they were together.

Personally, I think he's all talk.
 
  • #50
Mk said:
That's disgusting. I don't care if she liked it, or her boyfriend was a wuss, but I like playing fair. Don't hit on girls that have boyfriends and don't hit on boys that have girlfriends. Same with husbands and wives. This has to be written in the book of man law somewhere.

Well it's kind of sad that a girl would just dump who she's with so quickly like that. It kind of questions a person's loyalty.
 
  • #51
Poop-Loops said:
No, it doesn't.

It's up to the girl/guy that has a relationship to say "No, thanks, I have a boy/girlfriend."

It's not up to you to figure out whether they are single or not before hitting on them.

Exactly, I'm not the problem if that happened.

Mk must be really insecure that's all. To actually implement a law about it is absurd. I'm seeing someone right now and I hang out and talk with other girls all the time. In fact, I was suppose to go on a trip with a group of girls. I would say she hates it, but she knows she can't say anything because I won't tolerate insecurity. If she tells me to hang out less with someone or not hang out with them at all or she thinks this or that about it, I tell her to keep it to herself or end the relationship if she doesn't like it. If I end up wanting someone else, I'll just leave her. I'm not going to prevent myself from meeting other girls to avoid that scenario. If that's what I have to do (not hang out with other people) to keep her at the top of my list, I don't want her. I suggest her to not try preventing me from talking and hanging out with other girls to avoid that scenario because if she does try to do that, you're obviously not high quality because you must be afraid that I'll find better.

Insecurity is a personal problem and not a relationship problem. If your insecure, end the relationship. That simple.

Note: I noticed she tried to get insecurity to come of me by hanging out with another guy and possibly hang out with the guy at his house. She realized that it didn't phase me and that I told her to have a good time. She never ended up hanging out with the guy. Go figure. I even asked why!
 
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  • #52
JasonRox said:
Exactly, I'm not the problem if that happened.

Mk must be really insecure that's all. I'm seeing someone right now and I hang out and talk with other girls all the time. In fact, I was suppose to go on a trip with a group of girls. I would say she hates it, but she knows she can't say anything. I don't tolerate insecurity. If she tells me to hang less with someone or not hang out with them at all or she thinks this or that about it, I tell her to keep it herself. If I want someone else, I'll just leave her and that's what I told her. Don't try to avoid that scenario from preventing me from talking and hanging out with other girls because if that's the case, you're obviously not high quality because you must be afraid that I'll find better.

Insecurity is a personal problem and not a relationship problem. If your insecure, end the relationship. That simple.

I'm assuming you're more in the "free relationship" school of thought over the traditional one? I don't think freaking out over hanging out with your friends who happen to be female is necessary, but flirting? I don't think wanting a commitment exactly means you're being insecure.
 
  • #53
LightbulbSun said:
I'm assuming you're more in the "free relationship" school of thought over the traditional one? I don't think freaking out over hanging out with your friends who happen to be female is necessary, but flirting? I don't think wanting a commitment exactly means you're being insecure.

I won't sleep with someone else, but flirt of course. I'm not in a serious relationship. She's trying to bring it there but I'm sure she realized it's not working. She's probably upset about it, but I just said I'm not the guy for that right now. Either wait and do whatever, or find someone else. I don't appreciate people getting me into things I either don't want or not ready for.

I stand up for myself. I don't just let things roll by default. (Lots of people do.)
 
  • #54
JasonRox said:
I won't sleep with someone else, but flirt of course. I'm not in a serious relationship. She's trying to bring it there but I'm sure she realized it's not working. She's probably upset about it, but I just said I'm not the guy for that right now. Either wait and do whatever, or find someone else. I don't appreciate people getting me into things I either don't want or not ready for.

I stand up for myself. I don't just let things roll by default. (Lots of people do.)

There's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself, but I'm trying to under your philosophy on things. Would you say deep down you hold a "free relationship" school of thought or do you still fall under the traditional sense of it?
 
  • #55
...these threads are starting to make my blood boil...
 
  • #56
LightbulbSun said:
There's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself, but I'm trying to under your philosophy on things. Would you say deep down you hold a "free relationship" school of thought or do you still fall under the traditional sense of it?

Not sure what you mean by "free" but I'm definitely not traditional.
 
  • #57
Cyrus said:
...these threads are starting to make my blood boil...

maybe you should relax
 
  • #58
ice109 said:
maybe you should relax

ROARRRRRRRRR (picks up and smashes ice109 like godzilla picking up a person). :smile:


Seriously though, ANOTHER one of these threads...my god come on gimme a break already folks.
 
  • #59
I know, after like 3 threads asking about girl advice, you'd think every single guy in the world would be satisfied.
 
  • #60
Cyrus said:
ROARRRRRRRRR (picks up and smashes ice109 like godzilla picking up a person). :smile:


Seriously though, ANOTHER one of these threads...my god come on gimme a break already folks.

Easy, Cyrus. Think about something pleasant ... like MatLab. o:)
 

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