Overthinking a Smile: My Crush on a Cute Girl at a Holiday Course

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A participant expresses regret over not asking a girl out during a holiday course, where she frequently smiled at him. He grapples with feelings of disappointment and confusion about his attraction, questioning whether her smiles were genuine or simply polite. Despite contemplating ways to see her again, he worries about appearing stalkerish. The discussion highlights common teenage experiences with infatuation, the emotional turmoil of missed opportunities, and the natural inclination to overthink interactions. Contributors advise against dwelling on the past, suggesting that if he encounters her again, he should introduce himself without referencing their previous interactions. The conversation also touches on the challenges of social dynamics in school settings and the importance of seizing opportunities when they arise.
  • #51
Poop-Loops said:
No, it doesn't.

It's up to the girl/guy that has a relationship to say "No, thanks, I have a boy/girlfriend."

It's not up to you to figure out whether they are single or not before hitting on them.

Exactly, I'm not the problem if that happened.

Mk must be really insecure that's all. To actually implement a law about it is absurd. I'm seeing someone right now and I hang out and talk with other girls all the time. In fact, I was suppose to go on a trip with a group of girls. I would say she hates it, but she knows she can't say anything because I won't tolerate insecurity. If she tells me to hang out less with someone or not hang out with them at all or she thinks this or that about it, I tell her to keep it to herself or end the relationship if she doesn't like it. If I end up wanting someone else, I'll just leave her. I'm not going to prevent myself from meeting other girls to avoid that scenario. If that's what I have to do (not hang out with other people) to keep her at the top of my list, I don't want her. I suggest her to not try preventing me from talking and hanging out with other girls to avoid that scenario because if she does try to do that, you're obviously not high quality because you must be afraid that I'll find better.

Insecurity is a personal problem and not a relationship problem. If your insecure, end the relationship. That simple.

Note: I noticed she tried to get insecurity to come of me by hanging out with another guy and possibly hang out with the guy at his house. She realized that it didn't phase me and that I told her to have a good time. She never ended up hanging out with the guy. Go figure. I even asked why!
 
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  • #52
JasonRox said:
Exactly, I'm not the problem if that happened.

Mk must be really insecure that's all. I'm seeing someone right now and I hang out and talk with other girls all the time. In fact, I was suppose to go on a trip with a group of girls. I would say she hates it, but she knows she can't say anything. I don't tolerate insecurity. If she tells me to hang less with someone or not hang out with them at all or she thinks this or that about it, I tell her to keep it herself. If I want someone else, I'll just leave her and that's what I told her. Don't try to avoid that scenario from preventing me from talking and hanging out with other girls because if that's the case, you're obviously not high quality because you must be afraid that I'll find better.

Insecurity is a personal problem and not a relationship problem. If your insecure, end the relationship. That simple.

I'm assuming you're more in the "free relationship" school of thought over the traditional one? I don't think freaking out over hanging out with your friends who happen to be female is necessary, but flirting? I don't think wanting a commitment exactly means you're being insecure.
 
  • #53
LightbulbSun said:
I'm assuming you're more in the "free relationship" school of thought over the traditional one? I don't think freaking out over hanging out with your friends who happen to be female is necessary, but flirting? I don't think wanting a commitment exactly means you're being insecure.

I won't sleep with someone else, but flirt of course. I'm not in a serious relationship. She's trying to bring it there but I'm sure she realized it's not working. She's probably upset about it, but I just said I'm not the guy for that right now. Either wait and do whatever, or find someone else. I don't appreciate people getting me into things I either don't want or not ready for.

I stand up for myself. I don't just let things roll by default. (Lots of people do.)
 
  • #54
JasonRox said:
I won't sleep with someone else, but flirt of course. I'm not in a serious relationship. She's trying to bring it there but I'm sure she realized it's not working. She's probably upset about it, but I just said I'm not the guy for that right now. Either wait and do whatever, or find someone else. I don't appreciate people getting me into things I either don't want or not ready for.

I stand up for myself. I don't just let things roll by default. (Lots of people do.)

There's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself, but I'm trying to under your philosophy on things. Would you say deep down you hold a "free relationship" school of thought or do you still fall under the traditional sense of it?
 
  • #55
...these threads are starting to make my blood boil...
 
  • #56
LightbulbSun said:
There's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself, but I'm trying to under your philosophy on things. Would you say deep down you hold a "free relationship" school of thought or do you still fall under the traditional sense of it?

Not sure what you mean by "free" but I'm definitely not traditional.
 
  • #57
Cyrus said:
...these threads are starting to make my blood boil...

maybe you should relax
 
  • #58
ice109 said:
maybe you should relax

ROARRRRRRRRR (picks up and smashes ice109 like godzilla picking up a person). :smile:


Seriously though, ANOTHER one of these threads...my god come on gimme a break already folks.
 
  • #59
I know, after like 3 threads asking about girl advice, you'd think every single guy in the world would be satisfied.
 
  • #60
Cyrus said:
ROARRRRRRRRR (picks up and smashes ice109 like godzilla picking up a person). :smile:


Seriously though, ANOTHER one of these threads...my god come on gimme a break already folks.

Easy, Cyrus. Think about something pleasant ... like MatLab. o:)
 
  • #61
Math Is Hard said:
Easy, Cyrus. Think about something pleasant ... like MatLab. o:)

DOUBLE ROARRR! Grabs ice109 in one hand, and MIH in the other and bites their heads off. CHOMP nom-nom-nom-nom.
 
  • #62
Cyrus, you're so childish. :rolleyes:
 
  • #63
Cyrus said:
DOUBLE ROARRR! Grabs ice109 in one hand, and MIH in the other and bites their heads off. CHOMP nom-nom-nom-nom.

Wow! You ARE in a grumpy mood today!
 
  • #64
Berrrrrrrrrrrpppppppp... :biggrin:
 
  • #65
Cyrus said:
Seriously though, ANOTHER one of these threads...my god come on gimme a break already folks.

*Someone* had to jinx us in chat last week and comment that we haven't had one of these threads in a while. Just as I predicted, it's spring (even if it isn't in Australia), so one was inevitably on the way. :biggrin:
 
  • #66
JasonRox said:
Not sure what you mean by "free" but I'm definitely not traditional.

"Free" as in you can sleep with other people while you're dating someone, and they can sleep with other people too.
 
  • #67
LightbulbSun said:
"Free" as in you can sleep with other people while you're dating someone, and they can sleep with other people too.

Oh no, I'm not "free".

It's called polygamy by the way.
 
  • #68
JasonRox said:
Oh no, I'm not "free".

It's called polygamy by the way.

I don't think it's called "polygamy" until you are married, and are marrying multiple spouses.
 
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  • #69
serial monogamy? :rolleyes:

Moonbear said:
Just as I predicted, it's spring (even if it isn't in Australia), so one was inevitably on the way. :biggrin:

:smile: Earlier I was sitting outside on my back porch and just about the same time I started reading this thread, two dragonflies which were 'getting acquainted' whizzed by. It's definitely spring alright!

Seriously though Gib Z, don't let it bother you. It's happened to me before a few times. You just eventually learn to let go and not dwell on it so much. There's plenty of times where i'll get a quick smile from a strange girl and, i'll admit, the same thoughts run though my head... does she find me attractive?, is she just being friendly?, should I say something?, should I not?

Case in point, try not to live with regrets. You didn't say anything to her, so think of it as something that probably wouldn't have worked out. If you put too much thought into things such as that, more than likely you'll jinx yourself... I learned that the hard way.:smile: There's been a few times where I would hit on or make a move on a complete stranger, and it ended up a complete train wreck. Obvious, blatant incompatibility. Then again there was a couple of times they turned out to be a nice person, but they weren't single... or I just wasn't 'feeling it'.

Make a move and see what happens... roll the dice. If you choose not to roll, no biggie. Just don't dwell on it.

As quoted from the movie WarGames; "A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?":biggrin:
 
  • #70
Gib Z said:
This is the post where I'm going to sound like a stupid immature typical teenager, so stop reading here if you don't want to hear it. So, I'm sitting in some week long holiday course that I just now finished, in the seat that looks straight out the door and into the corridor. I finished the work quite early, and spent a lot of the three hour lesson staring into the corridor, looking at people walking by.

Here is where the main point of this pointless thread begins.

Several times a lesson, a very cute girl would walk down the corridor and smile at me as she did. By the third day, I began to look out the corridor for the sole purpose of spotting her. In my mind there were little snippets of how I might ask her out. On the last day of this holiday course, I promised myself I would ask her to coffee.

I didn't. Now I have so many questions running though my head, many of them probably stupid. Why didn't I ask her out? Now I might never see her again. Is it stupid to feel so heartbroken over someone who I didn't really even know? Was she really smiling at me, she could just be a happy person, or a cheery polite one. Will I see her again? I'm meant to be working hard now, do I have time for this kind of thing? Why didn't I ask her out?

My friend suggested finding out which class she was in and what time it was during the normal term course and seeing her then. Isn't that a bit stalker-ish, especially considering I don't know her? Why am I thinking about this anyway? I've never talked to her. Is it the hormones? Damn she was cute. I mean, really really cute. You wouldn't believe it.

I guess I don't really have any particular question I wanted to ask, I just wanted to let some people here know, because the stone cold math helper persona was killing me. Sorry if this is a waste of space.

Ever heard the song 'You're beautiful'? Romantic but silly, just how the teenage years normally are.

But this song was actually written for a different purpose although it's flexible.
 
  • #71
Beyond below above
A gravity that's numbers
At the center of
Places named after numbers
A different kind of love

She was right
She was right there
She was right there all the time
Collapsing all the way

And though it seems from here
That she was never there
Light beams disappear
Into her blackened hair
I wonder if they reappear

She was right
She was right there
She was right there all the time
Collapsing all the way
 

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