Programming Jokes: Lame, Science & Math Jokes!

In summary: An oldie but a goodie: Why do programmers confuse halloween and Christmas?What do you call it when a story goes round a stable time loop and returns to its own beginning?CSS properties are pretty flexible and browser renderers can be pretty accommodating. For example, the font-size property can accept a few different units of measurement, including px and em.Why does it take programmers so long to wash their hair?Because on the shampoo bottle it says "Lather, rinse and repeat".Q: How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?A: You console it.From a college drinking song:An MIT computer man got drunk one
  • #36
Wrichik Basu said:
Let's keep this out of the jokes thread. [...]
Oh, I dunno. Anyone who says (seriously) "that's a dumb question" deserves to be mentioned in a jokes thread. :angel:
 
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  • #37
strangerep said:
Anyone who says (seriously) "that's a dumb question" deserves to be mentioned in a jokes thread. :angel:

Many jokes are a stupid answer.
 
  • #38
1667921774874.png
 
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  • #41
Wrichik Basu said:
When I first saw plumbing like this in a professionally installed water system for a zebrafish facility, I know I could do better with a home made system. Those companies are better now.
 
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  • #42
Borg said:
Actually not too different than the first computer I programmed.
1667947592028.png

And yes, BTW, this was the entire system. WYSIWYG.
 
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  • #45
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  • #46
DaveE said:
Can you show us the handshaking protocols?

At 1.08 (can't seem to get link to start at specified time on my phone, sorry).
 
  • #53
1668677741861.png


Sidenote: I started with QBASIC in school for three years, then moved on to Java (using BlueJ) for the next four years. For the last two years, I shifted to NetBeans at home, and that was a great boost to knowledge as I could quickly view documentation for every function and class. I think it is a good idea to start with languages like Java, where blocks are delimited by braces, rather than languages where an extra space can screw up your whole code, unless you are using an IDE.
 
  • #54
No Pascal?
 
  • #55
DrClaude said:
No Pascal?
He was under time pressure.

(Sorry, I know that's a physics joke.)
 
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  • #56
Ibix said:
He was under time pressure.

(Sorry, I know that's a physics joke.)
Lame jokes need no further categorizing :smile:
 
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  • #57
DrClaude said:
No Pascal?
No, I didn't learn Pascal. BASIC → Java. Thereafter, MATLAB + Python (latter in college, primarily for numerical computation in physics). Side by side Android, MySQL, and some basics in C for Arduino.
 
  • #58
Wrichik Basu said:
No, I didn't learn Pascal. BASIC → Java. Thereafter, MATLAB + Python (latter in college, primarily for numerical computation in physics). Side by side Android, MySQL, and some basics in C for Arduino.
I wasn't talking about you (why would you have learned Pascal?), but referencing the chart you posted. BASIC was my first language, but I would think that many of those who learned programming in the 1970's and 1980's would have started with Pascal.
 
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  • #59
DrClaude said:
I wasn't talking about you (why would you have learned Pascal?), but referencing the chart you posted.
Can we do write-in options?

Pascal - thought it was Wirth it.
 
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  • #60
DrClaude said:
No Pascal?
Ibix said:
He was under time pressure.
Coincidentally, we have a new member who joined today, @Pascal pressure :smile:
 
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  • #61
what's funny about it was that Pascal was to be learning language, but so many people came out that Pascal morphed into one of the programming languages with which to write a serious program.
 
  • #62
DrClaude said:
I wasn't talking about you (why would you have learned Pascal?), but referencing the chart you posted. BASIC was my first language, but I would think that many of those who learned programming in the 1970's and 1980's would have started with Pascal.
Vic 20 had Basic.
IBM came out with a Basic interpreter as part of its software package along with DOS if you bought an IBM PC.
Apple came out with Basic.

A lot of home learners acquired Basic as the language of choice by default.
 
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  • #63
DaveE said:
Can you show us the handshaking protocols?
The IP layer involves an unreliable datagram delivery service rather than a reliable connection oriented delivery service such as TCP. As such, handshaking is not necessary.

See RFC 1149 for IP over Avian Carriers, RFC 2549 for IP over Avian Carriers with QoS and RFC 6214 for the IPv6 update.

See RFC 791 for the Internet Protocol.

Of some interest is the scheme for weighted fair queuing and the danger of excessive logging.

From https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc2549:
Code:
Weighted fair queueing (WFQ) MAY be implemented using scales, as
   shown:

                                                  __
                                  _____/-----\   / o\
                                 <____   _____\_/    >--
                 +-----+              \ /    /______/
                 | 10g |               /|:||/
                 +-----+              /____/|
                 | 10g |                    |
                 +-----+          ..        X
               ===============================
                              ^
                              |
                          =========

   Carriers in the queue too long may leave log entries, as shown on the
   scale.
 
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  • #70
person.jpg
 
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