Apologies - didn't get to the Minkowski diagrams last night and am a bit pressed for time this morning. In particular, I haven't had a chance to catch up on the thread in detail, so apologies if I'm restating stuff.
The problem with "when is the extra time" is, as always, the relativity of simultaneity. If you use the Einstein synchronisation convention, what does "at the same time as the traveller turn around" mean? It means different things to the inbound and outbound frames:
The fine gray lines are "now" for the inbound and outbound frames, the one with the positive gradient associated with the outbound frame and the one with the negative gradient associated with the inbound frame. Looking at the red line, then, it is tempting to say that the "extra" time happens "during the turnaround". But before you do that, look to the right of the turnaround event. The wedge between the two gray lines is both "before the turnaround" and "after the turnaround" by this logic, so happens twice.
There isn't a solution to this in terms of Einstein synchronisation. If you patch together two inertial frames in this naive way, you inevitably end up with a wedge of spacetime that you haven't accounted for (the bit "during" the acceleration) and a wedge that you double count (the bit that's both before and after the acceleration). Non-instantaneous acceleration doesn't fix this, because those two fine grey simultaneity lines are non-parallel. They will cross somewhere even if you spread them out a bit by curving the corner, and it's that crossing that's the problem.
The solution is to use a non-inertial frame. There are many approaches. One I like is "radar time", which simply asserts that any observer can be equipped with a radar set. If they emit a pulse at time ##t## and receive the echo at ##t+\Delta t## then the echo happened at time ##t+\Delta t/2## at a distance from the observer of ##c\Delta t/2##. Full stop. For an instantaneous acceleration this turns out to mean that (in this scheme) the traveller would use the outbound Einstein frame to describe events in the past lightcone of the turnover, the inbound frame for events in the future lightcone of the turnover, and a betwixt-and-between frame for everything else. The simultaneity planes under this scheme for various scenarios are given in
Dolby and Gull's paper.
It's worth noting that whatever scheme you use to define simultaneity, what the twins actually see depends on the Doppler effect. You never see the clocks jump.
The traveller will see the stay-at-home's clock tick slowly until turnover, whereupon he will see it tick quickly until his return (the tick
rate jumps in an instantaneous turnaround, but the time shown is continuous). The stay-at-home will see the traveller's clock tick slowly until the light from the turnover reaches home, whereupon the tick rate jumps. Note that the observed behaviour of the clocks is different - the traveller sees the clock rate jump at the midpoint of the journey; the stay-at-home does not see the jump until almost at the end. This is another way of seeing that nobody is surprised by the traveller being younger.