Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

[yourdadonapogostick]

what is it?

 

[Moonbear]

Aaaaaccccckkkkkk! What are you doing to Franzbear? Look at all this grafitti and pollution!

Ah, good choice of lawyer for him yomamma.

 

[Artman]

I think that AHHH! would be more appropriate in this case. ask artman...

Yeah, knowing this group AHHHHH! would probably be appropriate.

I have a great idea for something franzbear and I can do when he gets out of jail. I am going to gather the materials and I'll be waiting for him when he gets out. It'll be fun

(Sure hope you got him a good lawyer, Yoma.)

 

[Artman]

Yomamma's lawyer was so good that they let Franzbear out right away on bail.

So now we can go on our little expedition together.

(It'll be fun)

What's that Franzbear? What are all the ballons in the car for? It's a secret. you'll find out. Let's head for the field I selected so we can start our adventure.

<we arrive at our destination>

Now you just have a seat over there in that lawn chair. You must be exhausted after being stuck in jail and in that freezing cold airplane wheel well. Here you hold this bb gun. While I bring over the ballons...What do we need so many ballons for? They're just a little welcome home to you after your ordeal. Here, I'll tie them to your chair...uhh so you can see them better. Um, you better hold these concrete blocks for a couple of minutes...just while I tie on more ballons. There, now aren't they pretty? Oh here you can hand me those concret blocks now...You still have that bb gun right?

Franzbear, your chair is rising off the ground. Franzbear you're going too high. Franzbear you're going too high. Franzbear you're going too high. Quick, you better shoot some of the ballons! Franzbear you're going too high. You must be 1000 feet in the air! Shoot some of the ballons! Franzbear! Shoot some of the ballons!

Wow he must be 5000 feet in the air. Oh, this field is close to the airforce base. Wow, they must have called out the fighter squadron! They keep buzzing by Franzbear! Ut oh, I wonder if they see the gun?

Franzbear! Look out I think they're going to shoo...!

Rattatatatat!
BLAM!
BLAM!

Wow. Who'd have thought they could hit all those ballons that fast.

 

[yourdadonapogostick]

owww!

 

[hypatia]

Headlines

US AIR FORCE ATTACKS MYSTERY UFO .. ups

MULTICOLORED ALIEN INFILTRATES US AIR SPACE..nytimes


IT WAS BLOODY AWFUL...BBC

 

[Artman]

Headlines

US AIR FORCE ATTACKS MYSTERY UFO .. ups

MULTICOLORED ALIEN INFILTRATES US AIR SPACE..nytimes


IT WAS BLOODY AWFUL...BBC

The mysterious being, dubbed by observers "Lawnchair Franzbear," infiltrated US Airforce restricted airspace, and was shot down when the pilots investigating the craft saw that the alien aircraft's pilot was indeed armed.

 

[klusener]

interesting... very interesting

 

[Danger]

interesting... very interesting

Do you ever actually talk?

 

[Artman]

Danger! I've seen you out in the "real" forums (you know those science things ), but I haven't come across you in here lately.

Too bad about Franzbear getting shot down. They'll probably take the damaged lawnchair and the poor battered thread to Area 54 for a thorough examination.

 

[Moonbear]

Too bad about Franzbear getting shot down. They'll probably take the damaged lawnchair and the poor battered thread to Area 54 for a thorough examination.

They've got all sorts of scarey looking probes there, and they've been known to dissect any specimens they find! At the least, they'll be snipping away bits for biopsy. Poor poor Franzbear!

 

[Artman]

They've got all sorts of scarey looking probes there, and they've been known to dissect any specimens they find! At the least, they'll be snipping away bits for biopsy. Poor poor Franzbear!

Yeah. Won't they feel silly when they find out that he is just a mutant, zombie, e-love-child, thread-that-won't-die, created by a bunch of science/pirate nerds from physicsforums.com...ut oh, we could be in a lot of trouble.



I'm running away before the men-in-black show up!

 

[JamesU]

they've got all sorts of scary looking probes there...

franzbear has been probed with 1462 devices so far. they still have to run a lot more tests. I have a picture of the next one:

you see they take that wire, and that metal arm, and, well...i don't feel comfortable telling the rest...

 

[hypatia]

I'm not normaly squimish..but the look of that machine...oh the inhumanity!
Someone must go undercover..and help him excape.

 

[Moonbear]

That looks like a good candidate for Letterman's "Is it anything?" segment!

Okay, okay, we'll have to assemble the Minions for another rescue operation. But, Area 54 is a tough one to get into. And if we get caught, well, I don't even want to think about what they'd do to us. *shudders*

Oh, wait! I just got a call from Franzbear for us to come pick him up. It seems they've been probing one of the balloon strings. He's okay!

Okay Franzbear, just start walking. Keep following the sun.

 

[Artman]

It seems they've been probing one of the balloon strings. He's okay!

So, basically, they wanted to give him an anal probe, but didn't know where to start or when to finish?

 

[Moonbear]

So, basically, they wanted to give him an anal probe, but didn't know where to start or when to finish?

Yep, there are advantages to being a thread.

(Darn, I had this thread killed the natural way for 17 hours, and Artman had to show up and post. )

 

[Artman]

(Darn, I had this thread killed the natural way for 17 hours, and Artman had to show up and post. )

You really think I didn't notice that?


Mine again.

 

[Moonbear]

Snatches up the thread and runs. You should know I hesitate at nothing to keep this thread as mine, all mine! Forget cutting the apron strings, Franzbear IS the apron strings.

 

[Lisa!]

What a kind mother!she prefer to kill her son by her own hands!Well, I know why she wants to kill him!

 

[Artman]

What a kind mother!

Yeah, she's a mother alright.


<cautiously snips the apron strings, without harming poor dear Franzbear.>

Come on Franzbear. I know a place where we can go swimming with the dolphins!


They hardly ever get them mixed up with sharks anymore.

It'll be fun.

 

[Moonbear]

Yeah, she's a mother alright.


<cautiously snips the apron strings, without harming poor dear Franzbear.>

Come on Franzbear. I know a place where we can go swimming with the dolphins!


They hardly ever get them mixed up with sharks anymore.

It'll be fun.

Franzbear, you know full well you shouldn't go in the water without your wetsuit on. I got you a new one; isn't it so cute made to look just like a seal?

 

[JamesU]

*snatches franzbear*

c'mon! we're goin' bunjee jumpin! I'll tie your cord!

 

[Moonbear]

*snatches franzbear*

c'mon! we're goin' bunjee jumpin! I'll tie your cord!

See, this is what happens when you haven't read all 8500+ replies here. Franzbear already went bungee jumping. One of his uncles took him...can't remember if it was his Uncle Artman or his Uncle Toxyn, but he didn't like it much. Seems he had a bad experience with a very worn bungee cord.

 

[yourdadonapogostick]

*snatches franzbear*
we'er going camping...you can build the fire

 

[arildno]

See, this is what happens when you haven't read all 8500+ replies here. Franzbear already went bungee jumping. One of his uncles took him...can't remember if it was his Uncle Artman or his Uncle Toxyn, but he didn't like it much. Seems he had a bad experience with a very worn bungee cord.

Didn't he try a life as a cable once?
Or was that another thread? I forget..

 

[JamesU]

sorry franzbear


let's go to the zoo! they have a 'pet the lions exhibit'

okay, before you pet them, hide this meat in your shirt so they won't dislike you. now go in through that door that says 'warning, electrical fence'. yes, that one

ZZZZAAAP![/size]

 

[yourdadonapogostick]

i think i smell something...burnt hair?

 

[JamesU]

burnt thread

hey, he's moving!

*franzbear ges up*

wait! I thought of the only thing that can kill franzbear!
*takes scissors*
*cuts franzbear in 2*
*cuts him in 4*

 

[Artman]

burnt thread

hey, he's moving!

*franzbear ges up*

wait! I thought of the only thing that can kill franzbear!
*takes scissors*
*cuts franzbear in 2*
*cuts him in 4*

He's like that magic trick where the magician cuts and cuts and then opens it up and it's still one huge long piece.


Come on Franzbear, let's go play chicken with a train. How do we play? It's easy! You stand on the tracks and dare the train to turn away first. Well, yeah, most people play chicken with a car, but what's the challange in that? It'll be fun!

 

[JamesU]

hmmm...kentucky fried chicken...

franzbear, you ruined a perfectly good tran, and set of railroad tracks! I'm going to have to punish you! let's see, we have a meat grinder, a pogo stick, and $2,000 worth of electrical equipment. what should I do?

 

[Artman]

...lets see, we have a meat grinder, a pogo stick, and $2,000 worth of electrical equipment. what should I do?

 

[JamesU]

oh yeah, and my imagination

 

[Moonbear]

Franzbear, how many times have I told you that yomamma is a bad influence on you? Now, come along, we need to buy you new shoes. Just stick your feet in this concrete here and wait for it to harden. Oh, yes, that's just a mold we'll make, and then they can use it to make custom-fitted shoes for you.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Okay, that cement looks hard enough now. Hmm...now how do we get your feet back out? Oh, maybe soaking in water will help. Just try to hop along with me here...okay, I'll hang onto your arms while you soak in this river. Oops, oh no! My hands must have gotten wet and slippery and I lost my grip!

 

[mattmns]

OHHH MAN! I WAS SOOOO CLOSE TO A NEW PERSONAL MINESWEEPER BEST!

Sad! I was really feeling this one too!

http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/9152/minesweepernoooo3bf.png

 

[Moonbear]

As long as your minesweeper addiction isn't as bad as Zz's Disney addiction, we'll still let you hang around Franzbear.

 

[Artman]

Franzbear, how many times have I told you that yomamma is a bad influence on you? Now, come along, we need to buy you new shoes. Just stick your feet in this concrete here and wait for it to harden. Oh, yes, that's just a mold we'll make, and then they can use it to make custom-fitted shoes for you...Okay, that cement looks hard enough now. Hmm...now how do we get your feet back out? Oh, maybe soaking in water will help. Just try to hop along with me here...okay, I'll hang onto your arms while you soak in this river. Oops, oh no! My hands must have gotten wet and slippery and I lost my grip!

Let me help you out of there Franzbear.

<Pulls the soaked Franzbear from the river (still wearing his cement shoes.).>

There you go. Good as new.

Now, let's go try playing chicken with trains again.

It'll be fun.

 

[Moonbear]

Let me help you out of there Franzbear.

<Pulls the soaked Franzbear from the river (still wearing his cement shoes.).>

There you go. Good as new.

Now, let's go try playing chicken with trains again.

It'll be fun.

Franzbear, honey, when will you ever learn? *Drags Franzbear off train tracks in the nick of time*
I think skydiving will be more your style. Leave the shoes on, they'll provide, um, ballast, yeah, that's important for skydiving.

*stuffs sheet into backpack* Okay, Franzbear, here's your 'chute.

 

[yourdadonapogostick]

*breaks engine of airplane*

sorry, franzbear it looks like you can't go skydiving today. how about helping me test something i saw on mythbusters today. just get in the pool...don't worry, it worked for them. hmmm, i guess i "forgot" to empty the pool

*takes aim*

 

[Artman]

Quick Franzbear, put this rope around your neck and I'll get my car and drag you out of the pool to safety!



Oh and, you can leave your shoes on.

 

[JamesU]

no!
*cuts rope*
don't listen to uncle artman! bad thread! you know what, let's go to that mob hideout downtown. okay, to get in, you have to say a special password. listen carefully: "police!" k, now kick the door open
bang!
bang!
bang!
bang!
[/size]

 

[yourdadonapogostick]

duck, franzbear!

 

[JamesU]

too late. he's not dead, but he looks like swiss cheese...

 

[Moonbear]

Swiss cheese? Oh no! Franzbear, watch out for those giant rats in the alley!
SQUEAK![/size]
I'm getting outta here!

 

[JamesU]

*snatches franzbear when nobody's looking*

 

[Artman]

Franzbear, run from the rats! (you know, yomamma, pogo, moonbear, oh and the ones in the alley.)


Clop...
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Clop...
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.clop...

<Franzbear trying to run in concrete shoes.>

 

[yourdadonapogostick]

*sneaks up behind artman, ninja style, with piano wire*

 

[JamesU]

kicks YDOAPS from behind*

artman, maybe we can kill that thread together!

 

[Jelfish]

uhg.. to think I actually started reading this thread with an intension to read all of it. It's been said that the person who ends a conversation often does it by saying something so profound, no response is necessary. This, of course, is the epitome of wishful thinking.

 

[Artman]

Clop clop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clopclop clop...

Franzbear and Artman running from pogo