Solarflare, you've got the cart before the horse. Instead of thinking in terms of whether the lightning strikes are actually at the same time, you need to realize that we can't tell if they are at the same time or not unless we apply a definition of time for remote events. Einstein's definition is that if they are both an equal distance away from you and you see them at the same time, then the remote times are the same. That's part of the definition of a Frame of Reference. So if the passenger sees them at the same time, then the remote times are the same in her reference frame. On the other hand, if the man sees them at the same time and he is equally distant from them, then in his reference frame, the remote times are the same.
Now if you start out by simply saying, two lightning strikes occur at the same time and both are equal distant from the man and the woman and ask will they see them at the same time, we have no way to answer that question because you haven't stated which reference frame you mean when you say "at the same time". So if you say it's the man's reference frame, then, lo and behold, he sees them at the same time because that is how we define "at the same time". If instead, you say it's the woman's reference frame, then she sees them at the same time because that is how we define "at the same time".
And it doesn't matter if you use wire or light signals, they both take the same time to propagate information. So in post #26, you are asking an ambiguous question. You have to tell us what you mean by the lightning strikes occurring at the same time. If you say it is in the train's reference frame, then the lights come on together. (Or you could tell us that they come on together and then we will know that it's the train's reference frame in which the strikes occurred simultaneously. On the other hand, if you say it is in the platform's reference frame, then the lights will not come on together.
So the answer to your question is that you have to tell us the answer and then we'll tell you the answer right back. There is no other way.