Was My Gym Teacher Out of Line?

[chroot]

pineapples,

It's okay. No one's going to remember any of this next week anyway, including you. You could have handled this better, and your gym teacher probably could've, too. Give him a handshake and let it be water under the bridge. Little tiffs like this, honestly, are how people learn to live in a society full of complicated personalities and power relationships. You're doing fine.

- Warren

 

[heartless]

Hello,

So, what do you indent and plan to do now with this case?

By the way, You're lucky you don't live in China. My school fellow who lived there for a part of life, said, there teachers are allowed to beat students. Not once he received a face punch for failed tests and misbehavior. Anyway, most of the people are just like you in J.H.S. I was almost no different than you, I mean, Teachers never yelled at me, but I received frequent home calls. Then I learned how to learn to fix my own mistakes. This is the part when I'm currently standing on, I'm learning how to fix my own mistakes, and it isn't that easy yet. Just in case... Try to execute every order teachers tell you to, remember that you come to school, school doesn't come to you. Good Luck and Thanks,

 

[Chi Meson]

I do not agree with any instructor that temporarily prohibits any student from going to the bathroom, whether that student asked for permission or not.

When you got to go, you got to go.

Oh, that one's good.

So any student should be allowed to leave a class at any time they like without any restriction?

"I got to go, Mister!"

That won't fly.

 

[FredGarvin]

Just for the record, I feel like a complete idiot. I got so wrapped up in my stupid anger because I had nothing better to worry about and for some reason I can't function without an issue in my brain. Not to mention, I kind of humiliated myself too and made people think I was a self-centered, spoiled little kid. Sorry for wasting your lives! Look what I've caused! URGH.

Now that is the most inteligent and mature thing you've said so far. Now the important question...did you learn anything from this little event? It appears you did. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on. Chroot had some good advice above.

 

[Moonbear]

Just for the record, I feel like a complete idiot. I got so wrapped up in my stupid anger because I had nothing better to worry about and for some reason I can't function without an issue in my brain. Not to mention, I kind of humiliated myself too and made people think I was a self-centered, spoiled little kid. Sorry for wasting your lives! Look what I've caused! URGH.

As a few others have already said, this is the most important thing, that you've realized your mistake, and can look back at your anger and see how silly it is, and how it just didn't get you anywhere good. Now, take the lesson from it and move forward as a better, slightly more mature person than you were yesterday.

 

[jimmie]

So any student should be allowed to leave a class at any time they like without any restriction?

Yes, and strictly to relieve themselves in the bathroom. The same is true for instructors.

The alternative "depends" on all individuals wearing additional clothing.

 

[BobG]

Yes, and strictly to relieve themselves in the bathroom. The same is true for instructors.

The alternative "depends" on all individuals wearing additional clothing.

Oh, for crying out loud, man, HOLD YOUR WATER!

maybe I've watched Sybil too many times

 

[Chi Meson]

Yes, and strictly to relieve themselves in the bathroom. The same is true for instructors.

The alternative "depends" on all individuals wearing additional clothing.

No.

It won't happen. Do you have a medical condition that makes you the exception to being able to hold it? Everyone else can for at least 40 minutes. The "when you got to go..." line is fiction. I teach sometimes for a four hour non-stop stretch. Is it a miracle that I can hold it? No, that's normal. Do I let any student just walk out of my class whenever they feel a little tinkle coming on.

I'm telling you, forget it. Or get a doctor's note describing your bladder control condition. Or quit talking in the hallway and get to the bathroom before class.

 

[Mk]

Eventually I got tired of staring at his ugly, hairy, wrinkly, distorted face and all my hate/anger vibes had run out

Eh? Got a thing against facial hair huh? I bet us hairy, wrinkly, PFers (possibly ugly and distorted) would disagree. Has Artman said anything yet? Or Zoobyshoe? I'm tempted to say a female member's name, but that would be mean.

I didn't read the whole thread, but my view is, you were both out of line.

The teacher didn't make you cry, you made yourself cry. You were obviously under some amount of pressure, and need to control your crying. Don't just go crying about everything.

Don't let people get under your skin too much. If you let them, they win. Don't let them win easy.

 

[Astronuc]

Sorry for wasting your lives!

If one has learned something, then our time is not wasted. That is why we are here - to learn and to teach - and perhaps be better people for it.

Little tiffs like this, honestly, are how people learn to live in a society full of complicated personalities and power relationships.

Excellent point!

 

[jimmie]

No.

It won't happen.

I agree.

In a global environment where business/particular, including and not limited to the action of learning and instructing, is the priority, all else takes a backseat so long as the "business" gets accomplished.

However, such an environment breeds stress within individuals, and the 'thought' of any business that interferes with the successful completion of any business is rarely tolerated. Individuals cannot fully relax so as to do business, because business is the priority. Even the natural act/business of going to the bathroom during business to 'take care of business' is frowned upon within the hostile business environment.

Perhaps, within a global environment where the company/whole is the priority, all individuals can fully relax with the knowledge that they themselves are the priority, and not any 'thought' of any business.

When business is put in its right place, which is second, only then an environment shall be created wherein all individuals shall be free to finally 'take care of business', including themselves and ultimately the environment.

 

[Chi Meson]

I agree.

In a global environment where business/particular, including and not limited to the action of learning and instructing, is the priority, all else takes a backseat so long as the "business" gets accomplished.

However, such an environment breeds stress within individuals, and the 'thought' of any business that interferes with the successful completion of any business is rarely tolerated. Individuals cannot fully relax so as to do business, because business is the priority. Even the natural act/business of going to the bathroom during business to 'take care of business' is frowned upon within the hostile business environment.

Perhaps, within a global environment where the company/whole is the priority, all individuals can fully relax with the knowledge that they themselves are the priority, and not any 'thought' of any business.

When business is put in its right place, which is second, only then an environment shall be created wherein all individuals shall be free to finally 'take care of business', including themselves and ultimately the environment.

Or, you could just hold it for a few minutes until there is a convenient time to ask for permission to use the lav. That part is called "consideration for others."

 

[jimmie]

That part is called "consideration for others."

I believe that "consideration for others", expressed primarily through "good manners", is the lubrication upon which a societal machine functions.

I believe that it is possible to teach and learn both "consideration for others" and at least one other subject, simultaneously.

Lead by example.

 

[Chi Meson]

I believe that "consideration for others", expressed primarily through "good manners", is the lubrication upon which a societal machine functions.

I agree.

Getting up in the middle of a lesson is disruptive and rude.

According to your first post in this thread, it appears that you agree with this too. I guess we're not at odds here.

 

[jimmie]

I guess we're not at odds here.

I agree.

A little OT but, I'm thinking that the whole global societal machine, starting at the political leaders, is currently in need of LOTS of lube.

 

[BobG]

Just for the record, I feel like a complete idiot. I got so wrapped up in my stupid anger because I had nothing better to worry about and for some reason I can't function without an issue in my brain. Not to mention, I kind of humiliated myself too and made people think I was a self-centered, spoiled little kid. Sorry for wasting your lives! Look what I've caused! URGH.

You should be sorry, and consider yourself lucky to still be a member of this forum. Remember, we have high standards here. Franzbaer was banned just for misspelling his name. Rachmanoff was banned for being too, uh, "challenged" to remember his own password. Rachmanoff2 was banned for being to out of shape to type his own username (yet another reason you should be a little more motivated in gym class - try to learn lessons from others rather than through your own pain). Rach3 was ... well, he hasn't been banned yet, but he will be once he let's everyone know what he thinks of me.

 

[Rach3]

Rachmanoff2 was banned for being to out of shape to type his own username...

A fate that is about to befall BobG.

 

[Artman]

First of all, I apologize that I did not read every post in this thread, so I may be saying something that's been covered (I did read the first three pages so about 75 posts).

Today my gym teacher insulted me in front of everyone and made me cry.
I didn't dress out for gym because my gymsuit was freaking nasty dirty. Thats not a big deal, it's a once a month thing, but he SINGALED me out of the whole class for it when two other ppl do this every day...

He has his favorites and she is not among them.

Anyway, we were doing this fitness day thing. stuuuuuupid. So Then, I started walking to the locker room. He said, "Maggie where are you going?" and I said "The bathroom" and he said "Finsih this first". So I finished the stupid station I was at. Then I went. I got back out, and he's mad at me! "I said FINSIH this first!" and I was like, "I did!" and he said, "I meant the whole ting course!" HOW was I supposed to know?? That doesn't even make sense! But that REALLY set him off. Ooooh, I'm soooo bad. So he took me into the office and said I had an "attitude problem".

Maggie, you do have an attitude problem and an obvious dislike for gym class. Your response should have been. "I'm sorry. I misunderstood."

...he started yelling that "I get this all the time from you 8th grade, G/T (gifted/talented) students! You have this condescending, rude, 'I don't want to be here, I'm above you all' kind of attitude" ... ...On a side note, he does this to my friend Sarah too. We have the same personality and she's in G/T (gifted and talented classes), too. He insults her and critcizes her and kind of mocks her in front of the class. Maybe its in his personality, but...he's made her cry, too! In front of everyone!...

These are the phrases that worry me the most about this situation. It seems this man is using the other students dislike of the G/T students to seek the popular kid's approval. Allowing other students to make faces in the window, mocking students, etc is never right. I don't care if the student has a bad attitude, how is this going to help it?

...Uhm, hello! He just described himself! He thinks he's the supreme ruler of EVERY little thing...

Yes, in that classroom he is. It is his class. You are a child, he is an adult and in charge. Unless he demands something that legally he has no right to demand, you should be trying to do as he says.

 

[Artman]

I just realized I never offered a suggestion for dealing with this person.

If it was me at this point in my life (I am 48 years old) I would approach the teacher in all seriousness and tell him, "I am sorry for my bad attitude in class. Gym is not my best class, but I will try and do my best to at least improve my attitude." Then I would offer to shake hands with him.

You cannot have a power struggle with a teacher and win. This person may not accept the gesture in the way it was intended and may poke fun at it (judging from your post), but if he does, than he is the fool, you would have acted in a mature responsible manner.

 

[pineapples]

People, you just don't understand! If I walked up to my teacher and said, "I am sorry for my bad attidude in class. Gym is not my best class, but I will try and do my best to at least improve my attitude," and then offered to SHAKE his HAND?
HA! He would laugh at me! He would laugh at ANYone in the class who did that. That's just the kind of guy he is. All of his "jokes" are always dry and sarcastic and kind of mean, but you can always tell when he's joking. That's why half the time he told me to do stuff, I thought he was kidding around or something because he was laughing and kind smiling when he said it, you know?
UGH I can't explain it.

 

[FredGarvin]

People, you just don't understand! If I walked up to my teacher and said, "I am sorry for my bad attidude in class. Gym is not my best class, but I will try and do my best to at least improve my attitude," and then offered to SHAKE his HAND?
HA! He would laugh at me! He would laugh at ANYone in the class who did that. That's just the kind of guy he is. All of his "jokes" are always dry and sarcastic and kind of mean, but you can always tell when he's joking. That's why half the time he told me to do stuff, I thought he was kidding around or something because he was laughing and kind smiling when he said it, you know?
UGH I can't explain it.

No. YOU don't understand. Let's look at what we call the root cause of the entire incident: YOU didn't come prepared. Had you done what is expected of you (independent of what other people seem to get away with) this never would have happened. I was hoping you started to understand that point, but it looks like you didn't.

That suggestion is how an adult may have handled the situation. It is not an absolute. The main idea is that you accept your responsibility in the issue and do what you can to remedy the situation. You don't go off in a spoiled hissy fit.

You will always have to deal with people like him. The difference is that when you are an "adult" you can't afford little hissy fits. What if this guy was your boss, or someone else who held a large degree of power over you? Seriously. Think about it. I'm sure that you are always telling people that you want to be treated like an adult. Well, failed horribly to act like one here. Act like an adult and learn from your mistakes.

 

[Artman]

People, you just don't understand! If I walked up to my teacher and said, "I am sorry for my bad attidude in class. Gym is not my best class, but I will try and do my best to at least improve my attitude," and then offered to SHAKE his HAND?
HA! He would laugh at me! He would laugh at ANYone in the class who did that. That's just the kind of guy he is. All of his "jokes" are always dry and sarcastic and kind of mean, but you can always tell when he's joking. That's why half the time he told me to do stuff, I thought he was kidding around or something because he was laughing and kind smiling when he said it, you know?
UGH I can't explain it.

Sounds like the kind of guy that is trying to please all the 'cool' kids by making fun of the smart kids. I've seen teachers like that. It's a shame that some people feel that they need to do that.

Here's the thing, you have to get through school and you don't want this guy to effect your grades. Just be polite, stay out of his way, and try and do what he requests, try and get something positive from gym, and work on having a positive attitude.

What you are doing is overcoming a prejudice against you...

"I get this all the time from you 8th grade, G/T (gifted/talented) students!

He is wrong to have it, but he does, so you have to be extra careful in dealing with him, not to give him excuses to berate you.

 

[pineapples]

Sure, my mistake was the "root" of the incident, but you know what? I wouldn't be mad at all if my teacher had handled it like a civilized person. Maybe I was the cause of the problem, but there wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't totally overreacted and freaked out!

 

[Artman]

Sure, my mistake was the "root" of the incident, but you know what? I wouldn't be mad at all if my teacher had handled it like a civilized person. Maybe I was the cause of the problem, but there wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't totally overreacted and freaked out!

You can't change other people, only the way YOU deal with other people.

As my dad once said to me, "Life is not fair."

 

[Moonbear]

Sure, my mistake was the "root" of the incident, but you know what? I wouldn't be mad at all if my teacher had handled it like a civilized person. Maybe I was the cause of the problem, but there wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't totally overreacted and freaked out!

No, there wouldn't be a problem if you came prepared to class, and then didn't overreact and freak out when reprimanded for it. All you're doing is reinforcing the teacher's opinion of the G/T students by behaving exactly the way he predicted. Artman's advice is good, and you might be surprised how far a little respect for your teacher goes. If you take the mature approach, which is to apologize for your part in the whole situation, you might discover the gym teacher is a reasonable person who is just tired of getting attitude from the students. He may even realize he overreacted a bit too and apologize back. At the very least, it resets the tone so you don't seem just like all the other students who give him attitude, and might give you a fresh start with him having more respect for you than he likely does now after all the attitude you gave him over something that should have been easily remedied.

 

[heartless]

I agree with Moonbear and Artman. You seem to know how he is going to behave when you give him a hand but yet you can't be sure. In fact, you may feel surprised when you do that. Inside every bad person there is something good. Even Hitler had this good part, although his another side rose too high. Give him a hand shake, and if you show that you really care about the relationship and want to change your attitude I assure you he will understand. Just try to catch him up when he's alone and not busy, most of the people are influenced by the surrounding. As artman said, you can't change people unless you don't change yourself first. Really, try to make up with him. If he refuses to do that also, he won't change his attitude toward you, but if he does the same thing as you, you win. Hence, you don't lose anything. Don't forget that this also may change his attitude toward others. You may change it all, in less than two minutes. Take your chance.

Thanks,

 

[Artman]

Don't forget that this also may change his attitude toward others. You may change it all, in less than two minutes. Take your chance.

My wife and I used to own a store and we had a service where people could pay bills. There was a man who used to come into pay his phone bill and every time he came in he was frowning and sour.

My wife said, "Hi" and smiled at him.
He said, "What are you smiling about?"
She said something like, "I always think it's nice to be friendly." He just grumbled and left.
Next time he came in she did it again. She just kept on working on him month after month until he started smiling back. After several months, we passed him on the street and he was all smiles and said "Hello" to us. When he was out of earshot she said, "You see that smile, that's mine. I put that there."

You never know. A change in your attitude, may indeed change his.

 

[Dagenais]

Today my gym teacher insulted me in front of everyone and made me cry.

Spit in his face and say, "Thug 'till I die. We$tside!"

 

[0TheSwerve0]

Just wait till you get to high school, the teachers get worse! (not to say there aren't good ones, but the bad ones turn worse here) A similar thing happened with my sister. She's a senior in high school, and the campus ministry leader/teacher guy called her in because he found out she had forged service hours (we have to voluneer 80 hours during high school to graduate, yeah Catholic school). He was being a complete jerk to her and interrogating her like she was a criminal. Heck, she's not even a delinquent, she forged 10 extra hours, but I didn't think it was a big deal. Anyhow, she ended up sobbing (she's sensitive, Pisces moon), and he says he's glad she feels humiliated and that she's crying because it shows she feels remorse (Catholic school again...). He continues to interrogate her while she's hyperventilating, and says she has a bad attitude when she asks if she can go. He then asks her why she did it. She says she has 5 hours of dance during the week, in addition to honors classes and driving for an hour to and from school, so she didn't have time to finish up the hours. He then asks why she takes dance, and proceeds to tell her it's a waste of her time, that colleges don't care about dance as an extracurricular activity and that she should quit! I think he crossed the line, and that he was both harassing and intimidating her.

My point - Teachers, esp high school teachers, often think of students as the enemy. I suggest you do write a letter to the administration, get your parents involved too. Inappropriate behavior like this should not be tolerated. Teachers shouldn't make enemies out of their students (and vice versa, but I don't think you were wrong to be infuriated over this guy's power trip). So what if you didn't wear gym clothes? Honestly, why does it matter? Just another example of authority instilling obedience through petty rules. Good luck with the rest of your academic experience, I found that being meek helps.

 

[0TheSwerve0]

Spit in his face and say, "Thug 'till I die. We$tside!"

While you're at it, put a hex on him.