What are the financial implications of marriage for wealthy couples?

[turbo]

My wife and I have been married for 33 years. We had nothing at the time that we married, so we were married in our apartment by a friend (female JP) and our witnesses were our best friends. Jane (the JP) was dressed pretty nicely - the rest of us wore jeans, T-shirts, etc, and we shared a bottle of cheap champagne after the ceremony. My wife and I have worked very hard all our lives and we are very frugal. Since we are married, when one of us dies, the other gets all our assets free and clear with no challenge from other family members. That is a big plus to a civil marriage, and it ought to be available to same-sex partners, IMO.

If a same-sex couple has stayed together all their lives and built their assets together, it's criminal to allow relatives of either partner to swoop in and make legal claims to what should rightly be joint property.

 

[Danger]

If a same-sex couple has stayed together all their lives and built their assets together, it's criminal to allow relatives of either partner to swoop in and make legal claims to what should rightly be joint property.

Chalk up another one for Canada. They have the same rights here as any other married (or common-law) couple.

 

[turbo]

I wouldn't mind moving to Canada, but they wouldn't want me any more than the US would want you. It would be fun to get together though. I've got a venerable old Nazi-proofed P38, and several nice .22s, but my plinker of choice is a Glock Model 20 in 10mm Auto. If you're familiar with the .45 ACP, think more recoil and more noise, but with Glock's great ergonomics, wrist-break is reduced and re-acquiring the sight picture is remarkably fast. It's unfortunate that the police can't standardize on this gun, but many cops (including those with poor hand-strength, flinching problems, etc) simply can't qualify with it, so it's a dead issue.

 

[Danger]

I wouldn't mind moving to Canada, but they wouldn't want me any more than the US would want you. It would be fun to get together though.

I guess we'll just have to wait until the internet evolves to the level shown in 'Tek War' and then meet up in VR cyberspace.
A couple of decades back, a casual friend invited me to his farm half-way across the province for a week-end visit. Along with a Python and several other items, I had the privilege of trying out his dad's WWII souvenir Luger. It was absolutely the most comfortable, natural grip that I've ever experienced. In fact, anything that I design mimics that stock size and angle as closely as possible.
I think that we just set a new standard for thread hijacks.

 

[tgt]

I am aware that there are two big things, one more public then the other.

1. Saying 'I do'
2. signing a paper to make it legally binding

Any other matter of substance?

Which is done first? I assume 1? Are they done on the same day?

turbo-1, are you saying that you needed witnesses for 1? If so why? I assume the lawyer is the witness for 2?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

It's a question of commitment because marriage is an institution. So if you get married, you should be committed to an institution.

 

[Chi Meson]

Marriage is a legal contract. The end.

And its a way to make lots of money for the church.

However, there is absolutely no point to it.

He doesn't like Jazz.

 

[Chi Meson]

One thing for sure, I would absolutely never get married an anything but a civil rite with a Justice of the Peace or Judge presiding. Any hint of religion would make it meaningless.

We got married in a full Mass Catholic ceremony. At the time, I also thought it was meaningless, but it was my "gift" to our mothers, especially Pam's Mother who planned the whole thing out. It might have been the most fun she had ever had in her adult life, so I figured "What the hell...or whatever."

The only part of the...event...that I really was bothered with was the drunk priest.

That and the make-up the mother-in-almost-law forced my wfe-to-be to wear. That made her look like a different person, and I still can't look at the photographs from that...episode. I consider the whole ceremony to be the least important part of our marriage.

And someone mentioned rings. We have rings, but we both stopped wearing them. They got in the way when running, swimming, biking, woodworking, climbing... pretty much anything. The only real point to them I noticed a year ago when a young lady started chatting me up. I casually mentioned my wife, and then she wandered off.

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

I have no idea. If you don't want to get married don't. Simple.

 

[Laura1013]

I think some people here are confusing the wedding with the marriage. The wedding is simply the start of the marriage, and not so important in the long run. The marriage is everything afterwards.

 

[Art]

I think that we just set a new standard for thread hijacks.

Oh I dunno; weapons - shotgun - weddings. I can see the link

 

[Astronuc]

It's a question of commitment because marriage is an institution. So if you get married, you should be committed to an institution.

Kind of, sort of . . . .

Marriage is about making a promise (commitment), then doing one's best to maintain and fulfill that promise commitment.

In one sense (structurally), marriage or even family could be considered an institution, but then that seems a cold technical approach. But a marriage is more than an institution if we look at the profound relationship between the two individuals in what is supposed to be the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

I think some of you are missing a HUGE component to "getting" married. Those of you who want a quick ceremony, I am ALL for that! Less than a few minutes for me thank you. No big charade! But the best thing about a wedding and getting married is the party afterwards! Again I would love to skip all the annoying tradtions in the after party. Just get the liquor flowing and the dance floor waxed! fyi I am not married

 

[lisab]

When I was young, I used to think I'd never marry or have kids. When I met a guy who wanted those things, I thought, well why not?

A very nice thing happened when I married. I began to feel very rooted, in a way I never felt with just boyfriends. When I look far, far, far into the future, there's a lot I don't know, but I do know who will be with me.

 

[JasonRox]

When I was young, I used to think I'd never marry or have kids. When I met a guy who wanted those things, I thought, well why not?

A very nice thing happened when I married. I began to feel very rooted, in a way I never felt with just boyfriends. When I look far, far, far into the future, there's a lot I don't know, but I do know who will be with me.

I personally like not knowing.

For example, right now I will be on either end of my country depending how the jobs work out.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Marriage is about making a promise (commitment), then doing one's best to maintain and fulfill that promise commitment.

In one sense (structurally), marriage or even family could be considered an institution, but then that seems a cold technical approach. But a marriage is more than an institution if we look at the profound relationship between the two individuals in what is supposed to be the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

Oh. I was just looking for an excuse to say "you should be committed to an institution."

 

[JasonRox]

Marriage is about making a promise (commitment), then doing one's best to maintain and fulfill that promise commitment.

In one sense (structurally), marriage or even family could be considered an institution, but then that seems a cold technical approach. But a marriage is more than an institution if we look at the profound relationship between the two individuals in what is supposed to be the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

You're assuming that this intimated relationship can only be achieved through marriage and that marriage is the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

 

[Laura1013]

You're assuming that this intimated relationship can only be achieved through marriage and that marriage is the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

It certainly can be, for many, many people.

 

[lisab]

You're assuming that this intimated relationship can only be achieved through marriage and that marriage is the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

Well, I can't think of another relationship where

• you're responsible - legally - for your partner's financial decisions (good or bad)
• you may have to make medical decisions for your partner, or vice versa
• you will be called on to make funeral arrangements for your partner, or vice versa

...there are probably a lot more instances where a married person has responsibilities that an unmarried one doesn't have.

Look, like an earlier poster said, if you don't want to get married, don't do it. But don't knock those of us who have decided to take on the joys and challenges of going through life tied up like wer're in a three-legged race .

 

[JasonRox]

...there are probably a lot more instances where a married person has responsibilities that an unmarried one doesn't have.

That's my issue. Like you said, you have responsibilities. The unmarried person would not need legal obligations, or need to be responsible to do things for their partner, they would do it because of their strong intimated relationship and NOT because they're married and have to.

 

[lisab]

That's my issue. Like you said, you have responsibilities. The unmarried person would not need legal obligations, or need to be responsible to do things for their partner, they would do it because of their strong intimated relationship and NOT because they're married and have to.

Unless you take legal steps to give your partner the powers that marriage automatically grants, you won't be able to take on those responsibilities, even if you really want to, no matter how strong and intimate your relationship is.

And if you do take those legal steps...well, a rose by any other name, is still a rose...

 

[Laura1013]

That's my issue. Like you said, you have responsibilities. The unmarried person would not need legal obligations, or need to be responsible to do things for their partner, they would do it because of their strong intimated relationship and NOT because they're married and have to.

Maybe responsibility isn't the right word – privilege? Unmarried, unrelated people do not have the legal authority to make those decisions (in the U.S.), unless they are appointed Power of Attorney.

 

[Astronuc]

You're assuming that this intimated relationship can only be achieved through marriage and that marriage is the most intimate relationship between two human beings.

Marriage IS the most intimate relationship between two human beings, or it should be, in terms of knowing the other person. Of course, we must acknowledge that at least 50% of marriages fail (at least in the US) because at least one party is not committed to the relationship.

When I refer to marriage, I refer to the committed relationship between two persons who make that commitment, rather than the legal institution.

I 'married' my wife the first time I slept with her (using a common euphemism), because by the standards I impose upon myself, I became bound to her for a lifetime (as long as both of us shall live).

 

[P4PPY]

I was married for 9 years. I learned one thing. You have no control over another human being.

Don't think for a second that anyone person will be with you for ever and ever. The marriage contract is nothing more than your 'faith' in paper form.

The fact that you can get divorced for under $100 (US) makes it very easy to up and bail when things get tough, or when someone you are married too changes due to age, career or children.

To me, I think marriage is more about raising children. Providing a more stable environment for a child can help them grow up to respect their surrounding and the people in them.

But since both parents generally work now, it really doesn't matter. Your child will spend 1/2 of his/her day being raised by teachers, babysitters & next door neighbors.

I think marriage is great for people who are over 50. As for me... I enjoying playing too much :)

 

[Chi Meson]

I think some people here are confusing the wedding with the marriage. The wedding is simply the start of the marriage, and not so important in the long run. The marriage is everything afterwards.

I agree, but I don't even think of our wedding as the "start" of our marriage. We had been together for over a year before that point. The marriage was just an excuse to invite all our friends to a big party that our parents were overjoyed to pay for.

 

[Chi Meson]

I think marriage is great for people who are over 50. As for me... I enjoying playing too much :)

Just as long as Pappy ain't a poppa before then!

 

[P4PPY]

I have a 6 year old daughter, and I'm a single parent.

As soon as Samantha was born... I got fixed :)

I plan on raising her with a realist perspective.

She says, "HEY!" by the way.

 

[lisab]

I agree, but I don't even think of our wedding as the "start" of our marriage. We had been together for over a year before that point. The marriage was just an excuse to invite all our friends to a big party that our parents were overjoyed to pay for.

I was dreading my wedding! All the planning, the details...those kinds of things are not my strong suit. I don't even like weddings, with all the fuss. I floated the idea to my mom that we should just elope. She suggested instead that she would take care of all the planning. She loves planning events!

So I just showed up, literally. When I got to my wedding, I didn't have the slightest idea what to expect. I learned my "theme color" was blue, the flowers were yellow roses (my hubby's from Texas), the meal was salmon... My mom was happy as a clam and so was I!

 

[Astronuc]

My father, who is a minister, officiated at my wedding. My wife's made her dress. I bought a new suit of reasonable quality. My dad used his connections and made arrangements with a small private chapel, and we had about 30 family members and close friends, some of whom played guitar for us. We had the reception at the home of a couple, my best friend was living with my wife's best friend.

Since my wife and I were going into grad school, we didn't go on a honeymoon (trip/vaction) but saved our money for tuition and living expenses. I had saved up enough money, and my wife and I worked during grad school, so that we payed off her student loans and bought my wife a new car. Toward the end of grad school, we decided to have kids, and I left a PhD program to get a job and support a family.

I've been with the same woman for 27 years, and she has been my one and only intimate partner my whole life.

 

[P4PPY]

I've been with the same woman for 27 years, and she has been my one and only intimate partner my whole life.

WHOA!