What are the financial implications of marriage for wealthy couples?

[lisab]

Nell says "Hi." She's about to turn 7. Simon (http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g254/brichid1765/PF uploads/SiMeson.jpg) is now 5, and Benny (on my shoulders there) is 3.

I got fixed too after Benny.

Simon looks like a Super Hero!

Very cute kid, Chi.

 

[P4PPY]

Cute kids man!

I stopped at 1... that was all I could handle :)

 

[lisab]

I stopped at one, also.

For my hubby and me, one was a compromise between "none" and "some."

Now at 15 she's wanting to go to a private college. That will cost us about $100,000, we figure . I am SO very glad we stopped at one!

 

[P4PPY]

Be thankful she 'wants' to go to college :)

Sounds like it's time to start hunting for grants huh?

 

[ice109]

i got a better question: what's the point of commitment

 

[Cyrus]

Nell says "Hi." She's about to turn 7. Simon (http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g254/brichid1765/PF uploads/SiMeson.jpg) is now 5, and Benny (on my shoulders there) is 3.

I got fixed too after Benny.

Ha, that's my man simon. He looks awesome in this picture. He reminds me of Bono.

 

[Cyrus]

I stopped at one, also.

For my hubby and me, one was a compromise between "none" and "some."

Now at 15 she's wanting to go to a private college. That will cost us about $100,000, we figure . I am SO very glad we stopped at one!

Thats when you and your husband look at her in the eye, look at each other, then look at her again and bust out laughing. No way would I make my parents pay for private college that would cost $100k, nor would I pay for my kids to go to such a college. Its not worth it. The only place worth that kind of money is Harvard, Stanford, MIT, Yale or Princeton.

 

[JasonRox]

i got a better question: what's the point of commitment

Insecurity?

I'm seeing someone and if she wanted to start dated someone else, I'm totally fine with that. I would barely flinch.

Commitment later on may be beneficial I guess (I don't really know), but I think now is time to date not commit.

 

[Astronuc]

i got a better question: what's the point of commitment

Sustainability.

Commitment is ongoing. Long term marriages, e.g. those that last 40-50-60-70 years, i.e. basically until one partner dies, are simply a product of the commitment and effort of the two parties involved.

 

[lisab]

Thats when you and your husband look at her in the eye, look at each other, then look at her again and bust out laughing. No way would I make my parents pay for private college that would cost $100k, nor would I pay for my kids to go to such a college. Its not worth it. The only place worth that kind of money is Harvard, Stanford, MIT, Yale or Princeton.

You'll be able to make those decisions for your family when you have one. We can afford it because we both earn good wages and only have one kid.

Fact is, when you add up what you would be paying for room and board if your family wasn't willing to provide, that's about what they're saving you.

 

[Cyrus]

You'll be able to make those decisions for your family when you have one. We can afford it because we both earn good wages and only have one kid.

Fact is, when you add up what you would be paying for room and board if your family wasn't willing to provide, that's about what they're saving you.

You're right. I never realized room and board, plus tuition, adds up to nearly 80k for in state tuition. So then if your daughter was looking at a private school that costs $30k a year, it will be in excess of 180k. Thats nuts!


I think my total undergrad education cost my parents just under $30k.

I always paid for my books myself, and that was probably another 5k+. I know each semester cost me 1k in books.

 

[lisab]

When I look at what students pay in books these days, I can't believe I used to complain about $30 textbooks!

 

[Cyrus]

At work, I noticed everyone had every single textbook on their shelf from college. I realized how valuable they were, and how people were absolutely WRONG to sell them back. Thats why I always bought a used book that had NO markings inside of it. If I couldn't find one used that was in mint condition, I would pony up the money and buy it brand new. If you open any of my books you won't find a single thing in them except for a few underlines with highlighter (made by following a straight edge). No slop, anywhere.

 

[Chi Meson]

I got to say that if any of our kids decide to go to a "private college" they better have either 1: a good reason or 2: a full scholarship. And since the only good reason would be a full scholarship, that narrows down the possibilities.

We are setting aside some money for college for our three (not that much, it might cover the books!). Both sets of grandparents are also putting into college funds for them. When the time comes they will be aware of how much is available for them to have towards college. They are going to have to take on the remainder.

We even have some underhanded ideas planned out: Pam and I are graduates of 2 really good state colleges in Virginia (UVA, W&M). Virginia also has Va Tech, plus a bunch of pretty good "2-tier" colleges. But we live in Connecticut, where there is not a selection for high-end state universities (UConn is it, and UVA it is not) . But, one set of grandparents lives in Virginia. SO: summer before college, kid goes to live with grandparents, gets a job there, gets a driver's license, maintains local address for a year etc... Next year: IN STATE BABY!

 

[Evo]

Or just make sure that they marry someone that will pay off their Ivy League student loans.

I paid my ex-husband's loans off (Yale & Dartmouth).

 

[Laura1013]

Goodness! Why not allow your kids to finance college themselves (or partially themselves)? My private undergrad education cost somewhere around $100K total, and I do not regret it. I got a 1/3 scholarship, my parents paid for my first year, and I was on my own after that.

I'd be royally upset if my parents had given me an ultimatum: full scholarship or cheap in-state public school. It's MY education. Let your kids decide what they want and what's best for them in the long run. It may be that cheaper school with no-to-little student loan debt is the best for them, but they may have other ideas. Let them learn to become adults.

 

[Moonbear]

I'm just going to make sure I have a job at a university that provides free or extremely reduced tuition to children of faculty if/when it comes time to have kids and get them through college...and if they want to attend school somewhere else, they'll have to cough up the difference on their own.

 

[Cyrus]

Goodness! Why not allow your kids to finance college themselves (or partially themselves)? My private undergrad education cost somewhere around $100K total, and I do not regret it. I got a 1/3 scholarship, my parents paid for my first year, and I was on my own after that.

I'd be royally upset if my parents had given me an ultimatum: full scholarship or cheap in-state public school. It's MY education. Let your kids decide what they want and what's best for them in the long run. It may be that cheaper school with no-to-little student loan debt is the best for them, but they may have other ideas. Let them learn to become adults.

Yeah, just 'let them learn to become adults' by having over 100k in debt. Smart idea. 100k is not something a kid straight out of high school will have any idea on how long it will take to pay off. That, on top of the fact that they will need a car and a house once the graduate, will screw them into a lifetime of debt.

 

[Laura1013]

Yeah, just 'let them learn to become adults' by having over 100k in debt. Smart idea. 100k is not something a kid straight out of high school will have any idea on how long it will take to pay off. That, on top of the fact that they will need a car and a house once the graduate, will screw them into a lifetime of debt.

I knew what I was getting into when I was 19 and signed my first student loan (not all the details, but the general gist). I have tens of thousands of dollars in debt. I plan to pay it off within 6-ish years of graduating with my B.S. Certainly not a lifetime of debt (unless I die tomorrow)!

My point is, 18-years-old is the legal age (in the U.S.), and is a time when people need to start learning how to make financial and education decisions for themselves.

 

[Cyrus]

You don't 'learn' to make financial decisions starting out with a 100k loan.

You can learn to pay off your car maybe. But not something the price of a house. Thats called learning the hard way.

I cringe when your debt is more than my entire cost of college. You got to be out of your mind to pay more than 100k in tuition if you have a perfectly good in state school you can attend.

After a few years of work experience, no ones even going to care where you got your degree from.

 

[Evo]

Goodness! Why not allow your kids to finance college themselves (or partially themselves)? My private undergrad education cost somewhere around $100K total, and I do not regret it. I got a 1/3 scholarship, my parents paid for my first year, and I was on my own after that.

I'd be royally upset if my parents had given me an ultimatum: full scholarship or cheap in-state public school. It's MY education. Let your kids decide what they want and what's best for them in the long run. It may be that cheaper school with no-to-little student loan debt is the best for them, but they may have other ideas. Let them learn to become adults.

I think that is excellent Laura. My kids totally get what tuition costs are, etc... My ex-husband and I are currently paying their tuition and they are paying all other expenses, but they have to keep up a high GPA. Luckily, they aren't slackers.

 

[Laura1013]

You don't 'learn' to make financial decisions starting out with a 100k loan.

You can learn to pay off your car maybe. But not something the price of a house. Thats called learning the hard way.

I cringe when your debt is more than my entire cost of college. You got to be out of your mind to pay more than 100k in tuition if you have a perfectly good in state school you can attend.

After a few years of work experience, no ones even going to care where you got your degree from.

You did things your way, and it worked for you. I did things my way, and it worked for me. Let each person choose what's the right way for him/herself. Researching college costs and financial aid information and thinking long-term is an excellent way to learn how to make financial decisions. If an 18-year-old can't do that, he/she may not be ready for college.

Just to clarify, my undergrad college tuition totaled a bit over $100K, but that's not how much I owe. Like I said, I did have a scholarship, and my parents helped.

 

[Cyrus]

I hope the name of your school startd with Har, and ended with vard.

I don't think understanding debt translates to being able to go to college. Most kids straight out of high school probably don't have one clue about the loan system. Whats a good loan for them, how long will they need to pay it off, what's a good rate? Thats a lot to learn very quickly for a very, very, serious loan they are about to take.

 

[Evo]

I hope the name of your school startd with Har, and ended with vard.

I don't think understanding debt translates to being able to go to college. Most kids straight out of high school probably don't have one clue about the loan system. Whats a good loan for them, how long will they need to pay it off, what's a good rate? Thats a lot to learn very quickly for a very, very, serious loan they are about to take.

My youngest daughter was thinking of taking out a loan to get some extra cash, but when she worked out the numbers, she realized that she'd have to pay the entire loan back in 4 months not to get killed on interest.

 

[Cyrus]

Well, I would have been clueless, and intimidated.

Ive never taken out a 100k loan before. Thats the kind of thing if you do it wrong, you're goign to pay for a long, long time.

 

[tgt]

i got a better question: what's the point of commitment

Because you love them. It's something 'real', unlike marriage.

 

[Chi Meson]

Goodness! Why not allow your kids to finance college themselves (or partially themselves)?

Well that's actually the plan. I was being a little tongue-in-cheek back there. The point is, we'll let them know how much we will be able to support them well before they make a decision on where to go. If they do have a really good reason to go to a particular private college, then they need to understand that they will be taking on a big financial burden that we will not be able to help them with.

 

[Laura1013]

Because you love them. It's something 'real', unlike marriage.

How is marriage unreal? Have you met any married couples...?

 

[Astronuc]

Because you love them. It's something 'real', unlike marriage.

Well, it seems that folks in this thread are referring to more than one definition of 'marriage'. On the one hand, it is a legal contractual insititution, and on the other hand, it is a binding relationship between two people, traditionally a man and woman. In my posts, I am referring to the latter, which is quite real.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I hope the name of your school startd with Har, and ended with vard.

I have an honorary associate's degree from the Harvard School of Cosmetology, Boston, Georgia.

 

[Chi Meson]

I have an honorary associate's degree from the Harvard School of Cosmetology, Boston, Georgia.

Me too! And a Certificate of Completion for coursework in knife sharpening from StanFord's University for Artisans.

 

[lisab]

Me too! And a Certificate of Completion for coursework in knife sharpening from StanFord's University for Artisans.

At least cutting hair and sharpening knives are useful things to know.

I have a Certificate in Geographic Information Systems that I will never, ever use.

 

[hagopbul]

what is the point of marriage?

I think it is a way that the man told his woman that he will be with her to the end of time
because marriage is not that important to the man but to the woman it is a SERIOUS thing
it is a commitment to some men and it is some big thing to others:
how the old man say:
marriage is the end of the line to the woman and it is the beginning of it to the man...

 

[tgt]

what is the point of marriage?

I think it is a way that the man told his woman that he will be with her to the end of time
because marriage is not that important to the man but to the woman it is a SERIOUS thing
it is a commitment to some men and it is some big thing to others:
how the old man say:
marriage is the end of the line to the woman and it is the beginning of it to the man...

Maybe in those days when woman didn't get an education but not for career women of toaday I don't think.

 

[tgt]

Well, it seems that folks in this thread are referring to more than one definition of 'marriage'. On the one hand, it is a legal contractual insititution, and on the other hand, it is a binding relationship between two people, traditionally a man and woman. In my posts, I am referring to the latter, which is quite real.

So you are referring to marriage as an agreement to future committment.