What are the physical and emotional challenges of aging?

[turbo]

When my dying friend's mother passed away, there was no funeral - just a memorial service. It was held in the Congregational church in her home town because it was the largest meeting-house available. All the pews were full, all the seats in the overflow room were full, and the overflow room was crammed with people standing to pay their respects. The fire-marshal could have had a field-day. She was brought up as a Quaker and attended Unitarian services with her mother (despite having to drive 100 miles for the round-trip every weekend) and was universally loved in town. Nice woman.

My friend has that kind of temperament. I miss her and I will miss him. Nothing to prove, and no attitude. His mother never dinged us for drinking alcohol or coffee, but she and her mother used to drink hot water with cider vinegar and perhaps a touch of honey. Very nice people.

 

[turbo]

Very short call yesterday evening, and I am still so sad. I didn't get to talk to my friend, and his wife is almost incoherent and breaking down constantly.

My friend and I did everything together, and whenever there was any kind of a challenge, we would tackle it together. I have a couple of huge rocks that we collected together and only managed to gather through brute strength and some inventiveness. Every time I see them, I think of him.

 

[jim mcnamara]

Turbo -

I'm about 10 years older than you, but the 'memories-come-flooding-back' is a problem for me. You seem to enjoy it. Good.

Virtually everywhere I go I remember something that happened at that place. A few memories are really cool, fun times; most are fraught with either frustration or sadness:
watching my wife die slowly, a week of searching for my daughter after she ran away from the psychiatric hospital. Lots of fun stuff.

So I still work, and am really active. It keeps the ghosts at bay. And it is really enjoyable to get away - especially places where the ghosts don't dwell.

 

[turbo]

I'm glad you're still working, Jim. I would still be working if I was able to stand the presence of others (fragrances - even laundry products - throw me into a downward spiral) migraines, asthma, and arthritis pain are no fun, and those are the tip of the iceberg. I loved my last job. I hated the boss (moronic A$$, who finally learned to leave me alone after I made him over $1M net / year for a few years with a 2-person sales division), but the clients were so fun. If you are in the business of consigning and auctioning specialty materials (mine was militaria, so I got to handle a lot of high-end Civil War stuff) you get to interact with a lot of interesting people - collectors, experts, and appraisers included. I was so gratified when the country's top vexicologist (you can't sell a six-figure flag without her blessing) told me that even though she was retiring, I was welcome to keep sending her work. I never once sent her a crappy flag or a (decent) fake - so I was a pretty good filter to keep the junk out of her in-box. I wish I was still doing that kind of stuff.