What falling in love feels like to you

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The discussion revolves around the complexities of love, highlighting both its enchanting and painful aspects. Participants reflect on the vulnerability that love brings, describing it as a force that can disrupt one's life and emotional defenses. Experiences of love range from passionate infatuation to deep, lasting connections, with some expressing a preference for stable, platonic relationships over intense romantic ones. Humor is interwoven throughout the conversation, with anecdotes about personal relationships and the challenges of intimacy. Ultimately, the dialogue captures the bittersweet nature of love, revealing its capacity to both uplift and wound.
  • #91
cronxeh said:
Never had anything physical with her. She looks pretty, cute and petite, but I won't classify her as the Cadillac of women, more like a Kia Rio. And yet.. I would rather snuggle with this immature tard of a woman than anyone else.

Well that certainly sounds sincerely to me. So you feel an emotional attachment. Good.

I don't respect jerks either; of course, you have to be careful that you aren't just being critical of the competition. If these other guys are abusive, then maybe it is best to have it pointed out (either by you, or a mutual friend).

Do you know anything about her family? Are her parents divorced? Did they cheat on each other? Did her father abuse her mother? She might be just a girl who "wants to have fun" and all, and is throwing caution to the wind; or she might be acting out of deep emotional scarring; or she might just be playing mind games with you, because that's her personality.
 
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  • #92
FrancisZ said:
Well that certainly sounds sincerely to me. So you feel an emotional attachment. Good.

I don't respect jerks either; of course, you have to be careful that you aren't just being critical of the competition. If these other guys are abusive, then maybe it is best to have it pointed out (either by you, or a mutual friend).

Do you know anything about her family? Are her parents divorced? Did they cheat on each other? Did her father abuse her mother? She might be just a girl who "wants to have fun" and all, and is throwing caution to the wind; or she might be acting out of deep emotional scarring; or she might just be playing mind games with you, because that's her personality.

Well there are issues, but this is where I must stop. I am going to move on and forget this chick, eventually. And as for right now, I am going to sleep.
 
  • #93
cronxeh said:
Well there are issues, but this is where I must stop. I am going to move on and forget this chick, eventually. And as for right now, I am going to sleep.

Good luck buddy, whatever you do.
 
  • #94
No girls, no problems! :biggrin:
 
  • #95
Edin_Dzeko said:
Dude, I feel the same exact way! It's why all of a sudden I'm active on this site especially in the Relationships section. I feel really hurt and rejected. I wish I could forget as well and move on with my life but it's really hard (emotionally) at the moment. Story simply:

we've been friends for almost 4 years now. Just recently, I was going through some tough stuff and I got real nasty with her over the phone and she got offended (I can tell) and we didn't speak for nearly nearly a month or two. then just last week Sunday we chat on Yahoo I asked why she hasn't been calling she said she doesn't want to (ouch!) :( I kinda had that coming since I was nasty to her. I took that really harshly and felt rejected I deleted her pics, e-mails and number 'cause I thought this is it. And then I left the chat without saying good bye. We haven't spoken since. But I think what hurts the most is having it end this way. Not finding out how she felt, where things could have gone and the thought of her and another guy's what kills me the most :cry: All the time spent on the phone, reading and writing e-mails, sending pics and it all ends like this, it really kills. I also feel like it's my fault and the guilt is just too unbearable. :frown:

You know you could always write her an email apologizing for your actions. When I was in my first year of university there was a female friend that I was attracted to. I asked her out and she said she just wanted to be friends, I appreciated the way she handled it and we were good friends. Four months later we started to have mutual feelings for each other, but things took a particularly nasty turn for me. I was stressed, uncertain about my future and I took this frustration out on my friends and on this woman, and I really pushed her away during this time. This behavior lasted a month but I did eventually go out of my way to express to her my regret for the harm I caused.

We rekindled our Friendship, and in a way it was a lot stronger than it was before. Although our friendship has unfortunately deteriorated over the years, I don't regret anything.

So my advice is this, tell her you were going through a rough time in your life, and you took it out on her and that you’re sorry for doing so. Don't try to turn it into a reopening of the friendship, just tell her your sorry and whatever happens you'll know you did the right thing, and it'll make moving on much more easier.
 
  • #96
Edin_Dzeko said:
If I were you I'd feel all sad and depressed 'cause I remember that and the woman I married doesn't. Especially since you're the guy. It's like remembering the first time you met your "someone" and everything they wore and the things they said to you and they don't remember it like you do (in details). wouldn't it make you feel like you're into them more than they're into you? I'd really feel like crap. It's like liking a girl and remember her birthday and phone number and she doesn't remember yours :cry:
Heh, heh. She doesn't remember details like I do. She does many wonderful things for me, and we share many interesting experiences. :smile:
 
  • #97
Astronuc said:
Heh, heh. She doesn't remember details like I do. She does many wonderful things for me, and we share many interesting experiences. :smile:

wow. I'd really be bothered by that though. I don't know why. But I'd feel like she's not really that into me. why doesn't stuff like that get to ya?? 'cause when you switch the tables women always make a big deal about men not remembering stuff like anniversary's and birthdays
 
  • #98
rootX said:
No girls, no problems! :biggrin:

we weren't made to be alone. :-p

I would like to say screw girls and focus on my studies but then I seriously would like to meet someone know get to know 'em and marry in the future. That's better than waiting 'til you're out of school and successful to get a girl 'cause then because of your success and money every girl would want you. But if a girl can see you now that you don't have any cash and live with your parents then she likes you for you. It doesn't even have to be a bf/gf maybe serious friendship with the "future" in mind that at the right time and place you'll take things to the next level :cool:
 
  • #99
anubis01 said:
We rekindled our Friendship, and in a way it was a lot stronger than it was before. Although our friendship has unfortunately deteriorated over the years, I don't regret anything.

So my advice is this, tell her you were going through a rough time in your life, and you took it out on her and that you’re sorry for doing so. Don't try to turn it into a reopening of the friendship, just tell her your sorry and whatever happens you'll know you did the right thing, and it'll make moving on much more easier.

that was my biggest fear from the beginning that you spend all this time working on a friendship and you get nothing out of it in the end and you just wasted your time.

I plan on giving it a month or two for her to cool down then I'll call her and as the convo goes on I'll let her know I'm sorry. But if she calls that's even better I'll also apologize aswell. but I think after what I did she's pretty much done with me. Even if she accepts the apology any feelings / interest she ever had has died. I could be wrong but that's how I see it. I never asked her out though. I told myself from the first time I met her, anything that will happen between us will happen on its own and I won't force the issue. I've also never been friends this long with a girl that I like before. Most girls I tell 'em how I feel and we take it from there.
 
  • #100
cronxeh said:
I am on a different plane right now. I pretty much wake up in the morning and tell myself that she will never be mine, that we will never be together, never make out, never see each other again, never talk to each other again. I don't know if it works, but reminding yourself what is actual and real is important in my opinion.

If you're not good enough for yourself how will you be good enough for her?? Gotta have confidence. We saw this movie where this average looking guy got this girl that he really wanted 'cause he didn't give up in pursuit of her and did all kinds of things to get her despite their difference and their backgrounds. So "she will never be mine" is a very lame excuse. It's like a sports team going we're going to get killed by our opponents in Saturdays game. You've already lost before the match is played.
 
  • #101
Edin_Dzeko said:
that was my biggest fear from the beginning that you spend all this time working on a friendship and you get nothing out of it in the end and you just wasted your time.

I plan on giving it a month or two for her to cool down then I'll call her and as the convo goes on I'll let her know I'm sorry. But if she calls that's even better I'll also apologize aswell. but I think after what I did she's pretty much done with me. Even if she accepts the apology any feelings / interest she ever had has died. I could be wrong but that's how I see it. I never asked her out though. I told myself from the first time I met her, anything that will happen between us will happen on its own and I won't force the issue. I've also never been friends this long with a girl that I like before. Most girls I tell 'em how I feel and we take it from there.

Dont call her. This girl is not at Evo stage (no offense baby). This girl needs to be played and laid. Wait for her to call and finish conversation in under a minute. Tell her you are busy and will call her back later that day. Say 8 pm. Dont call her back. Wait for her to call you then tell her you forgot. Dont be sorry. See where this takes you next, but it should reset the relationship on a less friendly tone.
 
  • #102
Edin_Dzeko said:
If you're not good enough for yourself how will you be good enough for her?? Gotta have confidence. We saw this movie where this average looking guy got this girl that he really wanted 'cause he didn't give up in pursuit of her and did all kinds of things to get her despite their difference and their backgrounds. So "she will never be mine" is a very lame excuse. It's like a sports team going we're going to get killed by our opponents in Saturdays game. You've already lost before the match is played.

Hold up.. You schooling me?? :smile:

you must be shrooming. No really. Totally bonkers.

And. . You saw a movie? Really. You do know that it never works like that in real life. In real life you write a letter and get laughed at by all her friends. Get a clue people. Guys share the private porn tapes with everyone and no such thing as Santa Claus.
 
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  • #103
cronxeh said:
Dont call her. This girl is not at Evo stage (no offense baby). This girl needs to be played and laid. Wait for her to call and finish conversation in under a minute. Tell her you are busy and will call her back later that day. Say 8 pm. Dont call her back. Wait for her to call you then tell her you forgot. Dont be sorry. See where this takes you next, but it should reset the relationship on a less friendly tone.

dude that's what screwed me from the beginning. I got caught up in that "game" nonsense that people like to compare relationships to. I was too caught up in trying to be this bad guy and have her being the one that calls me and such but now I see in trying to do that I might have possibly screwed up something nice. I'm done with that route. I'm not doing that game stuff and "women like jerks" and you got to be a bad boy anymore. Sure I won't be the perfect guy and I'll have my lacking areas but I won't take my relationship with someone as a game.

"This girl needs to be played and laid" wow you're nice. :smile:
 
  • #104
Edin_Dzeko said:
dude that's what screwed me from the beginning. I got caught up in that "game" nonsense that people like to compare relationships to. I was too caught up in trying to be this bad guy and have her being the one that calls me and such but now I see in trying to do that I might have possibly screwed up something nice. I'm done with that route. I'm not doing that game stuff and "women like jerks" and you got to be a bad boy anymore. Sure I won't be the perfect guy and I'll have my lacking areas but I won't take my relationship with someone as a game.

"This girl needs to be played and laid" wow you're tnice. :smile:

Dont blame the method. You just couldn't close the deal because your timing was bad. you've been her friend aka gay brother for 4 years!
 
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  • #105
Edin_Dzeko said:
I'm done with that route. I'm not doing that game stuff and "women like jerks" and you got to be a bad boy anymore.

Hold on.. How many women do you meet and talk to daily? How many numbers do you get a week?
 
  • #106
Edin_Dzeko said:
that was my biggest fear from the beginning that you spend all this time working on a friendship and you get nothing out of it in the end and you just wasted your time.

Thats a rather unhealthy way of viewing relationships. Friendships are about enjoying the company of someone you like, not an investment.

Edin_Dzeko said:
I plan on giving it a month or two for her to cool down then I'll call her and as the convo goes on I'll let her know I'm sorry. But if she calls that's even better I'll also apologize aswell. but I think after what I did she's pretty much done with me. Even if she accepts the apology any feelings / interest she ever had has died. I could be wrong but that's how I see it. I never asked her out though. I told myself from the first time I met her, anything that will happen between us will happen on its own and I won't force the issue. I've also never been friends this long with a girl that I like before. Most girls I tell 'em how I feel and we take it from there.

No offence but after that long of a time your apology would be rather hallow as any positive feelings she had for you would have diminished by then. When people have wronged me in the past I've been much more receptive if they apologized in a recent time frame, after 1-2 months It would just be to late and their apology lost any meaning it would have had.

You have probably already shot your chance with this woman, but you shouldn't be apologizing because you want to "get back with her". You made a mistake, and treated her badly, you should own up to that and whatever happens afterwards, you'll at least know you did the right thing.

It'd also be a better idea to just write her an email instead, as it would at least give her time to "evaluate" instead of being put on the spot with a phone call. Hope everything goes well with your lady friend.
 
  • #107
Edin_Dzeko said:
dude that's what screwed me from the beginning. I got caught up in that "game" nonsense that people like to compare relationships to. I was too caught up in trying to be this bad guy and have her being the one that calls me and such but now I see in trying to do that I might have possibly screwed up something nice. I'm done with that route. I'm not doing that game stuff and "women like jerks" and you got to be a bad boy anymore. Sure I won't be the perfect guy and I'll have my lacking areas but I won't take my relationship with someone as a game.

"This girl needs to be played and laid" wow you're nice. :smile:

Good on you edin! This is more like it! relationships are not games! they should be taken seriously because people's feelings are at stake and you could really hurt someone! - like screw them up by playing with their feelings... then they'll end up... not so nice and unable to love! and no-one wants that on their conscience!
Dont be a bad guy - I mean come on, would you want a serious relationship with a bad girl? no, one night maybe, but not as a wife. so the same the other way round! Some girls might find it exciting and just want to try it, but I think most women do not want to seriously go out with jerks.
Dont worry - no body is perfect. Its good that you learned from your mistakes, so the future will only be better!
 
  • #108
cronxeh said:
Hold on.. How many women do you meet and talk to daily? How many numbers do you get a week?

Quality not quantity dude! one true love is worth a million phone numbers!
 
  • #109
I guess it is at least partly my own fault, but I think this thread has seriously digressed somehow. Generally, phone-call-mind-game-revenge is not a positive indicator of authentic feelings of affection toward one another.

Loyalty, on the other hand, is definitely a sign.
 
  • #110
Experience is a brutal teacher. Francis with his one lover. Nuclear is infatuated with some guy who is probably cheating on her right now. Fun times.
 
  • #111
Edin_Dzeko said:
wow. I'd really be bothered by that though. I don't know why. But I'd feel like she's not really that into me. why doesn't stuff like that get to ya?? 'cause when you switch the tables women always make a big deal about men not remembering stuff like anniversary's and birthdays

dude, you won't believe how forgetful girls can be! Like I'm really forgetful - I just don't remember! I blame it on a lack of sleep during my younger years! Also some girls are like goldfish about the good things you do for them, and like elephants aboout the bad things you've done! So, I guess if you fall in love with a girl like this, you have to be understanding and forgive her if she doesn't remember - the things probably meant a lot to her, she just can't help it!
 
  • #112
cronxeh said:
Experience is a brutal teacher.

yeah, it sucks when people hurt you huh! Best thing to do is to not do the same to others I think. But the up side is that the brain is amazing! and people CAN change themselves! you might have been hurt, but you can become a better person from it!
 
  • #113
cronxeh said:
Experience is a brutal teacher. Francis with his one lover. Nuclear is infatuated with some guy who is probably cheating on her right now. Fun times.

True. But you can't let it corrupt you.
 
  • #114
Nobody is saying you have to treat women bad. Just don't let them walk all over you. Its only fair to have a straightforward framework for courtship that is actually based on psychology. Women ARE different than men and have different priorities and desires than guys.

And hey.. Quality over quantity? Who are you to judge these people?? All women i meet and talk to are amazing and have very respectable lives. Treat everyone with respect and you shall receive respect.
 
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  • #115
cronxeh said:
Nobody is saying you have to treat women bad. Just don't let them walk all over you. Its only fair to have a straightforward framework for courtship that is actually based on psychology. Women ARE different than men and have different priorities and desires than guys.

Well, anyway, I wish you wouldn't knock the notion of writing (you're doing it even now). It doesn't matter what her friends think (unless she can't think for herself); it only matters what the both of you think.
 
  • #116
FrancisZ said:
Well, anyway, I wish you wouldn't knock the notion of writing (you're doing it even now). It doesn't matter what her friends think (unless she can't think for herself); it only matters what the both of you think.

Like i said. She knows. There is no going back now. She hates me and i hate her. Its the cadence of reality
 
  • #117
cronxeh said:
Experience is a brutal teacher. Francis with his one lover. Nuclear is infatuated with some guy who is probably cheating on her right now. Fun times.

Whoa! you know, this comment doesn't sound one bit like something a macho confident man would say! thanks for worrying about me tho :) I appreciate your care and attention.
 
  • #118
cronxeh said:
And hey.. Quality over quantity? Who are you to judge these people?? All women i meet and talk to are amazing and have very respectable lives. Treat everyone with respect and you shall receive respect.

ok, good for you! I'm just saying, in my own humble opinion, I'd rather find one true love than to have a million phone numbers!
 
  • #119
nucleargirl said:
Whoa! you know, this comment doesn't sound one bit like something a macho confident man would say! thanks for worrying about me tho :) I appreciate your care and attention.

nucleargirl said:
I want to be in love all the time! just the feeling I guess, not the responsibilities!
It feels like happiness, and its more physical than mental... like your heart hurts! and you cry all the time from the pain! lol!

That is infatuation and not intellectual love. Its really hard for me to type this on my phone, look up the difference in this thread
 
  • #120
cronxeh said:
That is infatuation and not intellectual love. Its really hard for me to type this on my phone, look up the difference in this thread

wow! finally something bordering on nice! well, its good to get a professional opinion on these things - who knew! I could have been having angina the whole time!
 

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