Nugatory said:
We don't, when we're looking at a single dot from a single electron. We cannot learn anything about the different probabilities of electrons landing at different points on the screen by running the experiment with a single electron; we need many observations of many electrons for that and this is no different than ordinary classical probability.
I understand that we cannot learn about probabilities from a single sample. But it is not the probability of where the 'dot' is that I am trying to understand, it is why is it a dot?.
Nugatory said:
That's an experimental fact about how quantum particles behave (and it's a historical accident that we even use the word "particle" - this behavior is unlike anything that you'd expect from the ordinary English-language meaning of the word). When they interact with matter they deliver their energy and momentum at a single point, and you have to do the wave calculation to find the probabilities of which point it will be.
Trust me, I do not perceive electrons as buckyballs flying around

. My background is electronics and telecommunications, so waves are, you might say, are my bread and butter. You have what is effectively a plane wave arriving from a distance passing through two slots and effectively becoming new wave sources. The two wave sources interact with each other and an interference pattern is created, with the strongest constructive interference, and therefore highest energy, between the two slots. but there are always other, lesser, constructive energy peaks. The single 'dot' of the electron implies that there is a single constructive interference peak when an electron 'interferes with itself'.
So, to create the traditional interference pattern for a series of individual electrons interfering with each other, there is an implication that each electron, when it arrives at the slots, 'knows' about the previous ones and acts accordingly, to create the pattern. I don't think so.
So, if an electron looked like a particle when it arrived at the slots, it would not interfere with itself. If it looked like a wave, it would, but the result could not be (?) a single point of energy.
If a series of electrons arrive as waves which somehow create interference patters with single points of energy, cumulatively create a typical interference pattern which conform with probability maths - what influences the probability - why is one electron more likely to be 'heads' than 'tails'?