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Have you ever seen an attractive woman, walked up to her and started a conversation?

by wasteofo2
Tags: attractive, conversation, started, walked, woman
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wasteofo2
#1
Nov8-10, 08:17 PM
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Hey,

Looking through this forum, it seems that many guys here are asking questions from a relatively lost, helpless perspective. They seem afraid to talk to girls, unsure of how to meet them and without the confidence to think that these women might be attracted to them.

The question: who has ever walked up to an attractive woman and started a conversation from nothing?

Corollary: if you're having girl problems, what's stopping you? Is it anything more than nerves/low self-esteem?
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Astronuc
#2
Nov8-10, 08:32 PM
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Yes - quite often if I'm not in a hurry to get somewhere.

Actually, I talk to anyone if the opportunity arises. People are just interesting.

And I've had attractive women walk up to me and start a conversation. Once a really gorgeous young lady walked up to me while I was sitting with my father outside the main trainstation in Bruxelles. Unfortunately I didn't speak French well enough to help her. And I just could not abandon my dad.

Another time, a very attractive woman approached on a bridge near the Louvre in Paris. She was wondering which way to the ocean, i.e., which way the Seine was flowing. I was with a colleague, so I couldn't just take off.
proof
#3
Nov8-10, 08:39 PM
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Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
Hey,
The question: who has ever walked up to an attractive woman and started a conversation from nothing?
I've done this and each time has been a catastrophic failure

Topher925
#4
Nov8-10, 08:52 PM
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Have you ever seen an attractive woman, walked up to her and started a conversation?

Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
The question: who has ever walked up to an attractive woman and started a conversation from nothing?
Nope. Unless you're Brad Pitt, thats suicide. You have to make them come to you. Otherwise they will automatically default to the status-quo and think you're a creeper.
bd7878
#5
Nov8-10, 08:57 PM
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that is absolutely not true - women expect men to talk to the first - not all times, but some of the time. It is all about how and when you do it. The best way to approach a women is when she is on her own - clearly not in a dark alley or the creeper vibe would ring true. Also just be normal, blunt and brief. "Hi I'm Brad, I just noticed you and wanted to come over and say hi." You can tell in about 5 seconds if she is keen or not. If she is not - what do you care it wasted 10 seconds of your life and you move on. She just doesn't dig you - doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or her. You, yourself passed over a dozen girls before you spotted one you wanted to talk to right? Same thing
wasteofo2
#6
Nov9-10, 04:31 AM
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Quote Quote by Topher925 View Post
Nope. Unless you're Brad Pitt, thats suicide. You have to make them come to you. Otherwise they will automatically default to the status-quo and think you're a creeper.
Not true. Her impression of you as a creep is based on your behavior.

If you stare at her across a room for 25 minutes before you walk up to her, that's creepy.

If you simply walk up to her, you're just someone who has something to say.

If you walk up to her and tell her you're in love with her, that she is beautiful, that she has stolen your heart, that's creepy.

If you give her a small, casual compliment, like ''Hey, that a funky scarf, I like it,'' she'll smile and say thanks.

If you're stammering and sweating and averting eye-contact when you're talking to her, that's creepy.

If you're confident and relaxed, you're just a normal guy, talking to a normal girl.
Pyrrhus
#7
Nov12-10, 02:44 AM
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Quote Quote by Astronuc View Post
Yes - quite often if I'm not in a hurry to get somewhere.

Actually, I talk to anyone if the opportunity arises. People are just interesting.

And I've had attractive women walk up to me and start a conversation. Once a really gorgeous young lady walked up to me while I was sitting with my father outside the main trainstation in Bruxelles. Unfortunately I didn't speak French well enough to help her. And I just could abandon my dad.

Another time, a very attractive woman approached on a bridge near the Louvre in Paris. She was wondering which way to the ocean, i.e., which way the Seine was flowing. I was with a colleague, so I couldn't just take off.
This is the right attitude. I start conversation with anyone, I don't care how they look. Astronuc, the same happened to me in Monaco. I was at a museum and a beautiful black hair, blue eyes girl comes to me and says something in french, unfortunately I had no idea what she said. Oh well, there are always more where she came from .

Quote Quote by Topher925
Nope. Unless you're Brad Pitt, thats suicide. You have to make them come to you. Otherwise they will automatically default to the status-quo and think you're a creeper.
This is the wrong attitude. IF you think you are a creeper, she'll think you are creeper. Of course, if you approach someone regardless if its an attractive female or not, and you are just stammering or don't have anything to contribute (no conversation topic) or are just complimenting her a tad too much, it definitely will make her feel uncomfortable.

Generally, conversations are context-specific. Sometimes, I talk about the place (its history, look, etc...), or talk about life or whatever, really. It depends on the "open window", you get, and just take that opportunity.

Sometimes, yes, the girl might just ignore you or just walk away, but that only shows her lack of manners.

In the end, BE CONFIDENT. Don't be afraid to be YOU, nobody else can be YOU except YOU.
Astronuc
#8
Nov12-10, 04:38 PM
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I've seen Cyclovenom's friends. Que linda!!

I also met a couple of nice young ladies in Toledo, Spain. I would have liked to accept their invitation to join them, but I was with a colleague and working - as well as being married.

I loved Toledo and Salamanca and Avila, and there are many more places I'd like to visit.
Galteeth
#9
Nov14-10, 08:04 PM
P: 320
Yes. Well, not from nothing, the whole universe existed up to that point, I think.
physeven
#10
Nov15-10, 10:07 AM
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i've always wanted to talk to women but never feel like they want to talk to me because of what field i'm involved in (that is, physics). most women that i met think i'm a nerd (i'm 17 and i'm a sophmore in university) and i never seem to attract them. i've been going to the gym for 3 years now so its not like i'm a skinny bastard, and i've been living a healthy lifestyle, you could say balanced, between my studies and sports. but for some reason i have never had any good luck with any woman in my life.
Galteeth
#11
Nov15-10, 04:13 PM
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Quote Quote by physeven View Post
.... but never feel like they want to talk to me ...


That's your problem right there.
mathwonk
#12
Nov30-10, 12:44 PM
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you should realize that some women are just waiting for you to initiate a conversation. if you find they actually are not, move on. don't fear being shot down, it happens a lot. And some girls have said that it helps to invite them to dinner. If that is too one on one at first, an enjoyable group event that does not require clever repartee may be good, like a ball game. If you have fun together, it tends to warrant repetition.
i_wish_i_was_smart
#13
Nov30-10, 01:18 PM
P: 111
life's too short to worry about what one girl... or 100 girls would possibly think of you, man up grow a pair and find out for yourself what they think of you
everything to gain, nothing to lose, since at the end of the day, your hand isnt going anywhere.....

its all about being relaxed and to strike up a conversation like it was meant to happen one way or another
wasteofo2
#14
Nov30-10, 09:01 PM
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Quote Quote by physeven View Post
i've always wanted to talk to women but never feel like they want to talk to me because of what field i'm involved in (that is, physics). most women that i met think i'm a nerd (i'm 17 and i'm a sophmore in university) and i never seem to attract them. i've been going to the gym for 3 years now so its not like i'm a skinny bastard, and i've been living a healthy lifestyle, you could say balanced, between my studies and sports. but for some reason i have never had any good luck with any woman in my life.
Well if all you talk about is physics, it makes sense people would view you as a nerd.

But you're very intelligent and accomplished, especially for your age, and accomplishments are a great characteristic in a man. The thing is, you have to know how to talk about things that engage people who aren't in your field.

Let me ask you a question: Do you feel at ease having a normal conversation - that doesn't focus on physics - with a guy your own age?

Because your situation is VERY interesting and unique, and could be a great asset to you, but only if you learn to engage people in conversations that they'll enjoy, even if they don't know about physics. That's not to say you can't talk about physics, but simply have to talk about it in a way that non-experts can understand and find enjoyable. Plenty of lamen watch the discovery channel, even though they don't study science, because the way it's presented is interesting.
tracydimarco
#15
Dec1-10, 08:22 AM
P: 5
Coming from a girl - confidence is an asset!! It depends on where you are, though. If I'm in a hurry, I get annoyed. If I'm at the gym... I'm there to work out, don't hit on me. Back when I was in college, a lot of guys would sit next to me in class & start talking to me. It was a good way to start conversation and also gave us a common ground we shared already. I've been come up to in bars - don't do that, it makes you look sleazy, most guys in bars are there to meet a girl for the night. On the street? It can be incredibly flattering or incredibly creepy depending on what you say or factors that may have nothing to do with you!
wasteofo2
#16
Dec1-10, 11:05 AM
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Quote Quote by tracydimarco View Post
On the street? It can be incredibly flattering or incredibly creepy depending on what you say or factors that may have nothing to do with you!
I think it's VERY important for guys to understand how to not seem creepy. Honestly, many good-natured men come off as ''creepy'' because they simply don't know how to talk to women.

Can you give us a girl's perspective on what is creepy and what isn't when a man approaches you on the street?

For instance, do you consider this creepy?

''Hey, I just noticed that your style is really unique, so I wanted to come up and say hi, my name is X"
Dembadon
#17
Dec1-10, 11:56 AM
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Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
...
Let me ask you a question: Do you feel at ease having a normal conversation - that doesn't focus on physics - with a guy your own age?

Because your situation is VERY interesting and unique, and could be a great asset to you, but only if you learn to engage people in conversations that they'll enjoy, even if they don't know about physics. That's not to say you can't talk about physics, but simply have to talk about it in a way that non-experts can understand and find enjoyable. Plenty of lamen watch the discovery channel, even though they don't study science, because the way it's presented is interesting.
Good point. Some of my friends/family have little interest in science, but they're good people. Being able to participate in conversations about areas other than science is extremely valuable.
FlexGunship
#18
Dec6-10, 08:21 AM
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Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
''Hey, I just noticed that your style is really unique, so I wanted to come up and say hi, my name is X"
I find it's way better to use a "disarming" line. I used to be really good at this until I realized I don't even like most women I meet at bars (good to keep the sheets warm, that's about it) and loathe most women I meet at clubs (try dating sites... seriously... you're more likely to find a sweet girl that's too shy to meet lunkheads at bars).

In stead of "Hey, I just noticed something about you..." try something more like "Wow, did you see that fight outside?" or "Do you ever wonder why they would paint a nice place like this such a dark color?"

Granted it's hit-or-miss, it usually works. They will be taken aback by your confidence and spend time figuring out why on earth you would start a conversation like that. Furthermore, she will be concerned that her answer sounds stupid or that you think she's stupid for not having an answer ready. You are very unlikely to be "rejected" in the same way that you might if you said something like "You look nice."

If you try: "You look nice." You'll get: "I'm here with my friends, sorry."
If you try: "Do you think really tall people are weird?" You'll get: "Uh, what? Yeah, I guess. I don't really think about that stuff."

Does it fail sometimes? Definitely. Does it work sometimes? Absolutely. Will women tell you that this is the dumbest idea they've ever heard? Without a doubt.

Just follow up by giving her a back-handed compliment: "You have gorgeous hair, you should think about growing it out." If she says or does anything that you consider "bad behavior" don't react. Simply show disinterest; let your eyes wander away. What you'll find is that most gorgeous women are insecure. By grabbing the upper hand in the conversation you ensure you're in the driver's seat. When you show disinterest it means that they will try to get it back (even if they don't care about you, they will want to feel desirable... women want to reject you, not be rejected).

When all is said and done... you could never use this method to meet a nice girl. But you could definitely use it to find a sheet-warmer.


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