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Women are crazy. Interpret this text exchange for me, please

by Jack21222
Tags: crazy, exchange, interpret, text, women
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Jack21222
#1
Oct1-11, 05:52 PM
P: 772
Alright, so my girlfriend and I are planning to go to the Renaissance Fair tomorrow morning. I'd leave my house around 8:30 and pick her up at 9. She offered to cook me breakfast tomorrow morning before we leave, but I declined, since I'd already be waking up at 8am as it is, and I don't want to wake up even earlier.

Anyway, now she's mad at me. I feel as if I did nothing wrong, and she's just being crazy. She probably feels as if I'm being an unreasonable jerk, and that she did nothing wrong.

So, am I a jerk, or is she crazy? Here is the exact text message exchange:

Her: Let me know about breakfast cause I'll need to take stuff out of the freezer tonight

Me: I'll pass on breakfast. Thanks anyway

Her: Thanks alot I won't offer anything ever again

Me: ?

Her: ?

Me: I don't understand why you're mad. You can still eat breakfast.

Her: I'm not mad. That is not the point I know I can eat breakfast. I find it rude if someone is doing something nice for you to say no thanks I'll pass. Like I said, I won't offer

Me: I didn't know I didn't have a choice in the matter. If I wasn't allowed to decline breakfast, you should have told me

Her: U always have a choice, u just chose wrong. U can always do what u want. I was being nice.

Me: I just don't feel like waking up an extra hour early so you can be nice. I don't think I chose wrong

Her: Ok ttyl
Please advise.
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Pengwuino
#2
Oct1-11, 06:21 PM
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Yah she's F'n crazy. Your hypothesis was right. "U always have a choice, u just chose wrong" is a fantastic example of someone being a passive aggressive jerk. I would never be friends with someone like that.
Astronuc
#3
Oct1-11, 06:22 PM
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She made a nice gesture, to cook/make you breakfast, and you rejected it. She seems to have over-reacted though.

You could have had breakfast with her.

Sometimes, one just has to roll with it.

Maybe there's more to this story.

Jack21222
#4
Oct1-11, 06:30 PM
P: 772
Women are crazy. Interpret this text exchange for me, please

Quote Quote by Astronuc View Post
She made a nice gesture, to cook/make you breakfast, and you rejected it. She seems to have over-reacted though.

You could have had breakfast with her.

Sometimes, one just has to roll with it.

Maybe there's more to this story.
I often do things I don't want to just to make her happy. The other day I rode around with her doing errands, including picking up a TV from Best Buy and carrying it into her house. I didn't particularly want to do that, but she said she wanted my help, so I was happy to do so.

If she had said "Hey, I'd like for you to come over early so I can make you breakfast" I'd probably have said yes. But instead, she said "Do u want to eat breakfast here in the morning before we leave? I have all this breakfast food." That, to me, sounds like a genuine question. I asked my sister, and she said something like "yeah, that wasn't a question, she was telling you to eat breakfast, not asking. That's a woman thing."

Maybe I should ask her to be more clear in the future. I don't like playing guessing games, trying to find hidden meanings behind her every question.
Topher925
#5
Oct1-11, 06:34 PM
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All woman are crazy, and no matter what you do you're always wrong. Save yourself some time and learn this lesson now.
Jack21222
#6
Oct1-11, 06:35 PM
P: 772
Quote Quote by Topher925 View Post
All woman are crazy, and no matter what you do you're always wrong. Save yourself some time and learn this lesson now.
I've been dating for 10 years, and been with roughly 20 women. You think I'd have learned my lesson by now. I even told this one about my previous crazy girlfriends, and she swore to me that she wasn't crazy. :-p
Pengwuino
#7
Oct1-11, 06:43 PM
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Quote Quote by Astronuc View Post
Maybe there's more to this story.
And if not, women be crazy.

I must disagree though, part of being a mature person is learning that even your generous offers may be rejected and you should be accepting to the idea that maybe there's some reason the person doesn't want to accept it.

I've known people who are weird like this. They are totally unaccepting of your opinions and don't really consider how you might feel about things, but they're always trying to do nice things for you. You would think they would go hand in hand.
Pengwuino
#8
Oct1-11, 06:47 PM
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Quote Quote by Jack21222 View Post
yeah, that wasn't a question, she was telling you to eat breakfast, not asking. That's a woman thing."
See, where do women get off thinking this is acceptable behavior? What if a guy ignored a girls birthday and just went "sorry, it's a guy thing"? I really hate how this kind of non-sense is perpetuated by people. No one would feel that's acceptable unless told by other people that it's acceptable and "what you're suppose to do".
Jack21222
#9
Oct1-11, 06:52 PM
P: 772
Quote Quote by Pengwuino View Post
See, where do women get off thinking this is acceptable behavior? What if a guy ignored a girls birthday and just went "sorry, it's a guy thing"?
There's actually a section of the textbook for my "diversity" gen ed class (Teaching and Learning in a Diverse Society) that deals with this. The text gives the example of a man on a road trip with his wife or girlfriend, when she sees a restaurant and asks "Do you want to stop at this place and eat?" The man responds "No, lets keep going," not realizing that she was actually saying "I'm hungry, please stop here." The woman is then mad for the rest of the drive.

It has something to do with women being raised to not be direct and to be more passive. I'm not sure how much of that I buy, but I guess it makes sense.

I'd like the opinion of a woman on this, if possible.
ArcanaNoir
#10
Oct1-11, 07:01 PM
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Quote Quote by Jack21222 View Post
There's actually a section of the textbook for my "diversity" gen ed class (Teaching and Learning in a Diverse Society) that deals with this. The text gives the example of a man on a road trip with his wife or girlfriend, when she sees a restaurant and asks "Do you want to stop at this place and eat?" The man responds "No, lets keep going," not realizing that she was actually saying "I'm hungry, please stop here." The woman is then mad for the rest of the drive.

It has something to do with women being raised to not be direct and to be more passive. I'm not sure how much of that I buy, but I guess it makes sense.

I'd like the opinion of a woman on this, if possible.
If I was that woman, I'd be hungry, not mad, and I'd soon learn to ask, I'm hungry, can we stop somewhere to eat?

I think she's wrong to be mad at you. At the same time, now that you know she's going to ask you something when she means for you to agree, just agree next time. Of course, now she'll never know your true opinion and one day she'll be trying to find out what YOU really want and won't be able to because she made you agree with everything she says!
Evo
#11
Oct1-11, 07:13 PM
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Quote Quote by Jack21222 View Post
Alright, so my girlfriend and I are planning to go to the Renaissance Fair tomorrow morning. I'd leave my house around 8:30 and pick her up at 9. She offered to cook me breakfast tomorrow morning before we leave, but I declined, since I'd already be waking up at 8am as it is, and I don't want to wake up even earlier.

Anyway, now she's mad at me. I feel as if I did nothing wrong, and she's just being crazy. She probably feels as if I'm being an unreasonable jerk, and that she did nothing wrong.

So, am I a jerk, or is she crazy? Here is the exact text message exchange:



Please advise.
She's crazy. I mean seriously irrational about this. Does she lose it like this very often? This is what you call a "red flag".

This is not a "woman thing". This is about control, selfishness, and caring only about her feelings. An emotionally normal person would have said, "Ok".
Jack21222
#12
Oct1-11, 07:18 PM
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Quote Quote by Evo View Post
She's crazy. I mean seriously irrational about this. Does she lose it like this very often? This is what you call a "red flag".
This is the second time she's done this, and I've only been dating her for 3 months. She apologized after the first time, saying "I don't know what all that was about."

Thanks for the response, Evo.
I like Serena
#13
Oct1-11, 07:25 PM
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Look at it from her side.
She wanted to have breakfast together.
She looked forward to it and assumed you would like it too.
When you said no, she felt disappointed and perhaps a little rejected.
It doesn't really matter why you said no, she would still feel disappointed.
Explaining things rationally has little effect on feelings.

I think she needs to learn not to have too strong expectations.
And I don't think that for you there is really a "right way" to handle it.
Perhaps you could have been a little more diplomatic, considering how she may feel.
It certainly doesn't help to go defensive about it.
256bits
#14
Oct1-11, 07:32 PM
P: 1,474
I think to her it was a fantasy of some sorts - a romantic early morning breakfast, with a nice leasurely hand in hand trip to the Renaissance Fair, flavoured with a dinner for two in a cosy restaurant, topped off with wild, passionate ... whatever comes after that... with her favourate man. You just nicked her ballon and it popped and spoiled all the plans in her mind by refusing breakfast, sorry to say. Only reason I can see why she was miffed. She was thinking ahead to what could, should and is going to happen and you weren't. And it was all going to be be spontanious and glorious and dreamable for days and moments to come. She was going to wear that top you like so well, you know the one with the .......... to be continued.
Evo
#15
Oct1-11, 07:41 PM
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Quote Quote by 256bits View Post
I think to her it was a fantasy of some sorts - a romantic early morning breakfast, with a nice leasurely hand in hand trip to the Renaissance Fair, flavoured with a dinner for two in a cosy restaurant, topped off with wild, passionate ... whatever comes after that... with her favourate man. You just nicked her ballon and it popped and spoiled all the plans in her mind by refusing breakfast, sorry to say. Only reason I can see why she was miffed. She was thinking ahead to what could, should and is going to happen and you weren't. And it was all going to be be spontanious and glorious and dreamable for days and moments to come. She was going to wear that top you like so well, you know the one with the .......... to be continued.
When you can't seperate fantasy from reality...
Evo
#16
Oct1-11, 07:44 PM
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Quote Quote by Jack21222 View Post
This is the second time she's done this, and I've only been dating her for 3 months. She apologized after the first time, saying "I don't know what all that was about."

Thanks for the response, Evo.
Wow, twice in 3 months? How did she explain a second event?
I like Serena
#17
Oct1-11, 07:46 PM
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Quote Quote by Evo View Post
When you can't seperate fantay from reality...
Whaaaat?
It's nice to live in a fantasy! I do it all the time and I like it.
I like 256bit's story.
Reality often isn't so nice and will intrude soon enough anyway.
Evo
#18
Oct1-11, 07:58 PM
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Quote Quote by I like Serena View Post
Whaaaat?
It's nice to live in a fantasy! I do it all the time and I like it.
I like 256bit's story.
Reality often isn't so nice and will intrude soon enough anyway.
I assume you're joking.

When you can't recognize boundaries, when your fantasy is imposed on others, when you can't recognize right from wrong, as this woman apparently can't, it's a problem. Nothing good can come from playing along with someone with these types of personality problems. There are plenty of normal women out there.

Her reaction was way out of bounds and inappropriate.


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