Common sense question about COVID and quarantining

[Fervent Freyja]

I received results this morning that I’m COVID-19 positive.

On Friday, my mom sent me a message on my watch saying that her Dr tested her at her normal checkup, I was in the lab at the time and just finished up my duties at template stage for testing a few thousand specimens (mainly for COVID). After I left that stage, I immediately let the director know and I was sent home/for a test. We both received calls this morning confirming positive results.

Now, my ex husband is flipping out and trying to get custody of our daughter during the quarantine period- whom has been with me the entire time. She had a low grade fever yesterday. I kept trying to talk sense into him. Her school nurse and pediatricians office have both given me advice for HER to quarantine with ME. He started threatening to bring lawyers into it, so I tried to get ahold of mine. I haven’t received a call back from my lawyer yet. This seems to be common sense to me and the most rational option. She stays with me and we quarantine together at my apartment. Whereas, if she goes with him, then him and his girlfriend will be exposed, as well as anyone they come into contact with! I’m alarmed with how irrational he is being. Her school nurse and pediatricians office told me that there is no need for having her tested, because she likely already has it!

He was supposed to get her the week before Christmas and Christmas Eve this year and seems to think that prior court orders can override the whole situation. He’s furious right now. I can’t find anything specifically stating that positive COVID results while in custody of one parent can overrule court orders- maybe because it’s common sense? I’m not asking for legal advice here, but if I’m making sense? Do I make sense? Is this not common sense here?

Legally, he doesn’t get her until Wednesday anyway, but has told me that he’s coming to get her today after he gets off work- I told him absolutely not. I don’t feel very well myself right now and have a low grade fever. Should I call the police if he comes over here? He’s never been here and I have expired restraining orders on him? I’m trying my best to take care of the both of us and think that I can do this alone. There are people that have offered to drop off necessary items and that are staying in touch. But, he isn’t thinking about who he will end up exposing for the next few weeks! He will get it himself.

On top of that, these women at my work
are being majorly catty about it in our group chat and it’s making me feel worse. Accusing me of knowing my mom was being tested prior to coming to work and that their families might get it (and I didn’t know until I had already worked 6 hours in the lab and in full PPE most of that day). Yet, we have a much higher risk of getting COVID than healthcare workers. I don’t believe that this came from my lab. My brother, who has a heart failure and COPD, got sick around the same time as
my mom (they diagnosed him with a URI and no test prior to the day that she went) also coaches for a school that has been shut down because of so many cases. My mom takes my daughter to school and picks her up the days that I cannot. Both him and my mom sound fine now. Hopefully! Then again, this could be all my fault.

I think this is a normal thing. Beating someone who has COVID to a pulp. Have at it.

 

[fresh_42]

Sorry to hear that. Chances are high that your daughter is already (or soon will be) positive, so it makes sense to keep her in quarantine with you rather than using her as a spreader. On the other hand ... if your ex insists on ...

Get well soon!

 

[Vanadium 50]

if your ex insists

How many co-morbidities does he have?

And the girlfriend? (Sorry, but "skank" is not a co-morbidity)

Seriously, who are you trying to protect? Not you. You've got it. Not your daughter. She's likely got it. Your ex-husband wants to get a contagious disease, that's his choice. But he's going to catch it from her, and not the other way around.

 

[russ_watters]

Seriously, who are you trying to protect? Not you. You've got it. Not your daughter.

I would speculate that the potential for quality care is reduced at the ex's place.

@Fervent Freyja sorry you're having to go through all this. Obviously, your lawyer and doctor are who needs to be providing you the most advice at this point. But in case of surprise visit, I'd rely on a locked door and if necessary 911 call.

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Hopefully, I’ll hear a call back (or force one) from my lawyer tomorrow.

 

[jrmichler]

Your ex-husband wants to get a contagious disease, that's his choice.

Maybe a letter from your lawyer to his girlfriend stating the facts, and informing her that bringing your infected daughter into their house will get her infected also? Have the lawyer hand deliver the letter. Then let your ex and his girlfriend fight it out.

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Maybe a letter from your lawyer to his girlfriend stating the facts, and informing her that bringing your infected daughter into their house will get her infected also? Have the lawyer hand deliver the letter. Then let your ex and his girlfriend fight it out.

I’ve not spoken a word to the gf in the last 2 years- and I refuse to. She’s an ex porn actress and doesn’t even have custody of her 2 teens. She has no real arm in this. She was there in the moment that he lost me and he had no one- so he took it. He’s constantly told me how he doesn’t want her. But me. The gf is the very jealous type.

His gf is inflamed- on account of him not deleting his messages where he always begs me back every week or so. She found them a few
weeks ago, where I tell him absolutely never again. He changed his cell and didn’t tell me (he even told me that we’d have Christmas as a *family* again if I’d change my mind this afternoon) and I had a hard time contacting him about this COVID issue. He’s broken numerous court orders. He thinks that I only have income from two jobs because I keep my life very private- and thinks that I cannot match his supposedly infinite financial resources that he used years ago in our divorce. I can’t even reach him to give him information about her needing braces or to let him know that she already had her flu shot, and her teacher has never communicated with him at all this year.

I hold back, because she truly loves her Dad and I want her to know him as much as possible. She’s only 9. She loves him very much. Is that weak? To not show your hand? To not let your ego get in the way?

The gf will not be in the picture in the next few years, so I don’t see how I should yield an inch to her. She’s shown that she’s spiteful and jealous of my exes relationship with her (my daughter is forbidden to even cuddle with him and I’m told that my name is banned in their house).

 

[waternohitter]

I received results this morning that I’m COVID-19 positive.

On Friday, my mom sent me a message on my watch saying that her Dr tested her at her normal checkup, I was in the lab at the time and just finished up my duties at template stage for testing a few thousand specimens (mainly for COVID). After I left that stage, I immediately let the director know and I was sent home/for a test. We both received calls this morning confirming positive results.

Now, my ex husband is flipping out and trying to get custody of our daughter during the quarantine period- whom has been with me the entire time. She had a low grade fever yesterday. I kept trying to talk sense into him. Her school nurse and pediatricians office have both given me advice for HER to quarantine with ME. He started threatening to bring lawyers into it, so I tried to get ahold of mine. I haven’t received a call back from my lawyer yet. This seems to be common sense to me and the most rational option. She stays with me and we quarantine together at my apartment. Whereas, if she goes with him, then him and his girlfriend will be exposed, as well as anyone they come into contact with! I’m alarmed with how irrational he is being. Her school nurse and pediatricians office told me that there is no need for having her tested, because she likely already has it!

He was supposed to get her the week before Christmas and Christmas Eve this year and seems to think that prior court orders can override the whole situation. He’s furious right now. I can’t find anything specifically stating that positive COVID results while in custody of one parent can overrule court orders- maybe because it’s common sense? I’m not asking for legal advice here, but if I’m making sense? Do I make sense? Is this not common sense here?

Legally, he doesn’t get her until Wednesday anyway, but has told me that he’s coming to get her today after he gets off work- I told him absolutely not. I don’t feel very well myself right now and have a low grade fever. Should I call the police if he comes over here? He’s never been here and I have expired restraining orders on him? I’m trying my best to take care of the both of us and think that I can do this alone. There are people that have offered to drop off necessary items and that are staying in touch. But, he isn’t thinking about who he will end up exposing for the next few weeks! He will get it himself.

On top of that, these women at my work
are being majorly catty about it in our group chat and it’s making me feel worse. Accusing me of knowing my mom was being tested prior to coming to work and that their families might get it (and I didn’t know until I had already worked 6 hours in the lab and in full PPE most of that day). Yet, we have a much higher risk of getting COVID than healthcare workers. I don’t believe that this came from my lab. My brother, who has a heart failure and COPD, got sick around the same time as
my mom (they diagnosed him with a URI and no test prior to the day that she went) also coaches for a school that has been shut down because of so many cases. My mom takes my daughter to school and picks her up the days that I cannot. Both him and my mom sound fine now. Hopefully! Then again, this could be all my fault.

I think this is a normal thing. Beating someone who has COVID to a pulp. Have at it.

I'm sorry to hear this

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Update: Aside from filing an emergency order, I can’t really do much. I was told that it’d look very bad on him if she were taken out of quarantine with me.

He retracted after I let him know what my lawyers office told me, but is now trying to big-boy me into handing her over the 23d-28th.

Everybody is trying me today! I ended up getting into a heated argument with those 6 women in my group chat- emotions flying everywhere. After one actually accused me of not having my mask on out of the lab, I told them
I would report all that crap they were hurling at me to HR; then, the dummy backpedaled and tried to use some hair splitting logic about how they’re sure I at least took my mask off once to eat that morning. They removed me from the group chat probably trying to prevent me from screenshotting it all (already ahead of them). I’ve honestly been as kind as I could with them and we’ve had some girls nights, but I’m not backing down and playing these petty games. And I don’t need to fit in. I don’t trust people that can’t see reason anyway. The HR manager knew exactly what was going on. I think it’s possible that they were trying to make up scenarios where I exposed them so that they can get paid quarantine over the holidays. I also reckon one of those hazing things in combination with this new phenomenon of COVID shaming. I’m here dealing with waves of fever and getting sicker, while my daughter has lost her sense of smell and says her body aches and shouldn’t have to be fending this off. I ended up crying like a baby this morning.

 

[Vanadium 50]

Maybe a letter from your lawyer to his girlfriend stating the facts, and informing her that bringing your infected daughter into their house will get her infected also?

Given her former career, I don't think she's afraid of catching anything.

 

[Keith_McClary]

Can you get advice from the public health authorities? They must deal with similar situations.