ADD? Feeling very frustrated at the moment

Nano-Passion

Sorry this is a long, but I think that context is very important in this case-- or maybe its an excuse to speak my mind. This post can be summed up to the following four sentences:

[1] I'm extremely skeptical about ADD
[2] I'm plagued with inconsistent work-habits (huge spurts of study and lack of)
[3] I find it hard to concentrate when I'm not really interested
[4] My brother has schizophrenia, and I fear that ADD medication might affect me. (read paragraph 4)

A little bit about me: I'm a quite passionate sophomore at a local community college with many (probably too many) interests. I have a 3.9 gpa and I aim to do research in physics. So it doesn't really sound like I have ADD but read on..

Lately, I've been feeling very very frustrated. I sometimes have immense spurts of focus and persistence. I notice that I have this when I'm completely and utterly motivated with certain music that puts me in a particular psychological state. But most times I find myself restless if I'm not really interested, getting up often to take a break, and zoning out here and there. What makes it even more frustrating is that I am an extremely ambitious person. I feel very motivated to immerse myself in study but I can't focus unless I have a certain state of mind that is often hard to accomplish. In fact, I often feel guilty if I hang out and socialize. But even though I spend a large amount of time at home to study, I still manage to get relatively little done because I get up a lot to do other things.

I've always been very skeptical about ADD and I've always been careful to not fall into any "self-fulfilling prophecy." I'm also a very big believer that the most important thing for one to be successful is one's perceptions, beliefs, and paradigms. And I pay little to no mind of the chemistry of the brain among other things. But I've been starting to feel powerless the past few weeks. In everything I do, I try fervently to make something as interesting as possible to my brain. I always try to look at something from a different perception. But it hasn't been working so great. And I'm afraid my lack of consistent study will jeopardize my long-term goals.

As a child, I could never focus on a task for more than a few minutes. I was the kid that was always making very silly noises (somehow accidently) in the middle of the class despite multiple threats by the teacher. But growing up, things changed a lot and it became much much better.

Can taking ADD medication increase my chances of developing schizophrenia? It doesn't seem to be a genetic trait in my family, my brother is the only one known to have it. He had a deep bout of depression for a month or two before he started developing symptoms of schizophrenia. The word depression is thrown around too easily but not in this case. He wasn't doing anything for a month or two, he looked as if he had no motivation to do any activity.

And again, I'm pretty skeptical about ADD. The symptoms of ADD that I read about seem to apply to 99% of the population. But I don't know any better, and I've only recently started to consider its legitimacy.

Edit: I don't think I'm burnt out either. I like studying differential equations and other things in my free time--but when it comes to things I'm not really motivated in, I struggle to keep my focus.

micromass

Sorry, we can not give a diagnosis on the internet. Please see a doctor or psychiatrist. I'm sure they can help you.

Good luck!!