- #1
PuzzledMe
- 34
- 0
Hi, I decided to write about my situation. I hope it won't make too much trouble for you all for me to share my personal problems like this.
I lost my direction some part of my academic life but I am trying hard to work hard at getting down to the major root of the problem - my past negligence and confusions.
I personally don't believing in grinding at something without a cause that I really feel for, and I know that to be motivated, I need something to strive for.
My unrealistic childhood dream is to be a scientist, but to face it, I don't have Physics background to start off with. If you want to know why, blame my misguided choices and my school. What I am doing now is to take elementary physics equivalent of O level standard, but no higher.
I have absolutely no background in computer sciences, and actually have some interest in going there. I am worried about why I just feel that I want to go there when I know absolutely nothing much about it. (Blind faith?) Is this a good choice?
I bought some books on java and other computing languages but I'm so stuck at my pre-university material right now that I really cannot find the time to experiment it out and see if learning it and applying it is my cup of tea. I love solving problems and understanding but the way school teaches maths and sciences have often killed my interest. They just stuck to showing how it's done. Limited questions. I don't know how the smart students aced it, some of them just told me they just memorised the methods, some said they just knew...and a lot more tell me they seeked private tution...sad enough but I often think if I'm just plain stupid or what to not be able to do it on my own.
I may have a lot of questions for the teachers but I feel really bad back then about asking them as some of the questions sound really stupid and some of them looked at me as though I wasted precious of their time on stupidly phrased questions (such as, is there another way to solve it?), and at that time I didn't know such a forum like this existed.
I don't want to believe that I have terrible memory but I have difficulty committing some of the texts to memory, such as biology texts...to add on that personally I feel that my vocabulary word-bank usage for English seems to have stagnanted from few years back...now I sound like a really bad student, but people seem to think otherwise when they look at me by first impression. Kind of an irony. I'm not that proud to not admit that I'm weak at grasping concepts at first sight. Yet I couldn't stick to some concrete plan to success and now I'm stuck almost nowhere.
In case you wanted to know how well I did, I did much more terribly than my peers, just enough to scrape a passing grade for all subjects. I swear I tried, but it was either not impactful or way too late back then.
Is there anything I can do to change this or just let things go from here and condemn myself? This is not an ego boost or to reassure myself that I can do it/I am a failure, I just seek your honest, sincere opinions here. Sometimes I feel that I may be doing all these for nothing...it can be pretty demoralising.
Also, I will like more insights, career and academic wise, with regards to computing or computer science related courses.
Thanks...
I lost my direction some part of my academic life but I am trying hard to work hard at getting down to the major root of the problem - my past negligence and confusions.
I personally don't believing in grinding at something without a cause that I really feel for, and I know that to be motivated, I need something to strive for.
My unrealistic childhood dream is to be a scientist, but to face it, I don't have Physics background to start off with. If you want to know why, blame my misguided choices and my school. What I am doing now is to take elementary physics equivalent of O level standard, but no higher.
I have absolutely no background in computer sciences, and actually have some interest in going there. I am worried about why I just feel that I want to go there when I know absolutely nothing much about it. (Blind faith?) Is this a good choice?
I bought some books on java and other computing languages but I'm so stuck at my pre-university material right now that I really cannot find the time to experiment it out and see if learning it and applying it is my cup of tea. I love solving problems and understanding but the way school teaches maths and sciences have often killed my interest. They just stuck to showing how it's done. Limited questions. I don't know how the smart students aced it, some of them just told me they just memorised the methods, some said they just knew...and a lot more tell me they seeked private tution...sad enough but I often think if I'm just plain stupid or what to not be able to do it on my own.
I may have a lot of questions for the teachers but I feel really bad back then about asking them as some of the questions sound really stupid and some of them looked at me as though I wasted precious of their time on stupidly phrased questions (such as, is there another way to solve it?), and at that time I didn't know such a forum like this existed.
I don't want to believe that I have terrible memory but I have difficulty committing some of the texts to memory, such as biology texts...to add on that personally I feel that my vocabulary word-bank usage for English seems to have stagnanted from few years back...now I sound like a really bad student, but people seem to think otherwise when they look at me by first impression. Kind of an irony. I'm not that proud to not admit that I'm weak at grasping concepts at first sight. Yet I couldn't stick to some concrete plan to success and now I'm stuck almost nowhere.
In case you wanted to know how well I did, I did much more terribly than my peers, just enough to scrape a passing grade for all subjects. I swear I tried, but it was either not impactful or way too late back then.
Is there anything I can do to change this or just let things go from here and condemn myself? This is not an ego boost or to reassure myself that I can do it/I am a failure, I just seek your honest, sincere opinions here. Sometimes I feel that I may be doing all these for nothing...it can be pretty demoralising.
Also, I will like more insights, career and academic wise, with regards to computing or computer science related courses.
Thanks...
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